The feeling of her hands around his throat was all too welcome. Indeed, the intimate familiarity of my features is all too suspicious, isn't it? One could almost say only a lover would know such things. Or a killer.
Was this a curse? Or some kind of punishment? Either way, he had resigned himself to his fate. Right here, right now, he was going to die. Again. For the 57th time. Perhaps the cruel twist being that it was at the hands of the one he wanted the most. 9S wasn't going to lie; he desired 2B, to put it plainly. Her whole body was structured for battle, but also seemingly pleasure. Some might question whether YorHa androids were designed to appear so attractive for a reason. That question, unfortunately, died off along with the last humans.
No matter the answer, 9S could not deny that he felt attracted to 2B. Not just romantically, but physically. Especially physically. Nothing was as irritating as the uncomfortable feeling in between his legs when he climbed behind her up a ladder. Despite that, however, he knew his place well. He was but a single soldier, destined to be executed by the one he loved the most.
The closer she got to him, the more it hurt. But when she was distant, that hurt even more. Maybe this time, she'd finally found her place…a place where she was as close as possible but still eternally distant. Amidst all their lies, they had found a comfortable stalemate where they remained suspended. A stalemate that refused to change no matter how many times she plunged that cold steel through his chest.
Hmm…the wind's chilly tonight. Why was he thinking of something so trivial at a time like this? While she laid on top of him, squeezing the air out of his lungs, he was wondering about the weather. Death had become second nature to him. Just as how murder became 2B's second nature. If things kept going on like this, perhaps one day it would be as natural to her as breathing. She could snuff the life out of him as easily as she could run a lap around the Bunker.
But this time, something was off. Something was different. When he tried to count all the simple emotions, all he could remember was his own pointless existence. How many times had they said hello and goodbye? That was all that raced through his mind this time as she tightened her familiar grip around his throat. 9S felt uncomfortable; his pants felt tight. No, not now. He willed himself to stop, but it wasn't really under his control.
By the sudden change in her energy, it was apparent 2B could feel it as well. But she continued to say nothing as she choked him, looking into his gaze with an expression that could only be described as grieving. Perhaps it would've been easier if he gave up. Each reason he had to live was centered around 2B. Perhaps things wouldn't need to keep ending this way if he just gave up everything. He was so tired of crying and fighting the inevitable.
It was because of this that he pulled the trigger. It was because of this that he closed his eyes and fell. It was because of 9S' cowardice that he chose easy deaths so he wouldn't have to see her face. It was because of his ambiguous love for 2B that he let his body become scrap metal over and over. Carrying the memories which pained him with a smile, he could do nothing but wish he never existed. Perhaps if he was wiped off the face of the earth, she could be happy.
Every time he reached a hand out to her, she cringed away inwardly. She cringed because she knew that hand was soon going to be bloody and broken. By her hand. It was bitter enough pondering the thought by itself. Knowing it was by her hand made it even worse. One of these days, she'd take that truth and bring it with her down a cliff. But it was no use. No matter how many times she took her own life, she's just awaken in a new body.
But no matter how many bodies she went through, every single one was the same. Every single one was stained with 9S' blood. Her skin may have been clean, but it was her mind that was sullied. And if that wasn't bad enough, the dreams she'd have about him made her feel even worse. They were the kind of dreams that made her wake up sweaty and bothered, a wanting heat between her legs. Even though she pushed him away, whenever he wasn't around, the world felt wrong. He was carbon to her dioxide. Without one, the other was useless and helped no one.
"I'll always accept this fate," he had told her once as he bled out on the ground.
She grit her teeth, not allowing herself to reply. If that's the truth, then why is that look on your face so pained? And just like that, he passed, the pained expression still on his face. "Unit 9S' Black Box signal conformed offline," Pod 042 chirped in a monotone.
Because he had done it for her, she returned the favor. Because she was sick of this roundabout love, she instructed it to reload from the last backup. Because he had done it for her, she said "Hello," and "Goodbye," again. Despite speaking at the same time, their words were drifting miles apart.
There were a ton of reasons she could've given for why she kept doing it. The biggest one was that he asked her to. Though honestly, that was just an excuse to perpetuate her self-serving lie. If she didn't have that small falsehood, there was nothing to call herself besides a killer. It may have been in her name, but was she really just a murderer and nothing else? 2B had entertained the thoughts of YorHa falling apart, though only rarely. Just the mere concept made her circuits burn. Treason. She was a treasonous liar. Most people looking at her and 9S would assume 9S was the less law-abiding one, but they were wrong.
9S didn't entertain thoughts of YorHa falling apart. 9S didn't wake up after dreaming of her with a wet feeling in between his legs. 9S didn't waste his time toiling over what would never happen. He may have been distracted, but he was still loyal. 2B was almost jealous of the blind faith he could put in YorHa.
When 9S saw 2B, a mix of emotions always ran through his mind. He wasn't supposed to feel any of those, but that didn't stop him at all. Amidst them all though, bitterness and loathing churned just beneath the surface, like dank sewer water after a flood. Why couldn't he be like his superior? 2B didn't entertain thoughts of being free from YorHa. 2B didn't feel aroused looking at him. 2B didn't ponder ridiculous questions or question the pointless. And most of all, 2B could carry out her duty faithfully. Always. Even if it was at the cost of 9S' memories.
"The wolf is coming. The wolf is coming," his mind whispered, feeling the intensity of her malice grow. "You better be careful, or else everyone is going to be swallowed up. You, me, her, everything." Of course she was the wolf. He was the dog, pathetic and meek as the collar of her hands tightened around his throat. Even his lonely soliloquy couldn't save him now.
Amidst their stalemate, there was a whole slew of emotions. But even with that tension between them, they could still look up at the sky and wish the moon would come down. Even with her sins that she carried, 2B's hands were still warm. And soft. No matter how many crimes she committed against him, 9S couldn't allow anyone else to take her place.
….
Why? He smiled as his vision went dark, throat closing finally after several minutes of asphyxiation. She was his precious partner, after all.
