((EDIT: All errors should be fixed. If you come across something that should be fixed just message me.))
DISCLAIMER: I actually don't know why people put this in the beginning of chapters/stories but I might as well- I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK OR THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY. I did write this mess of a fic though.
Everything you write or sing is about him.
Dave== Introduce yourself as the dick-loving-cock-fuck you are.
Damn, what else is there to say about yourself with that out of the way. Dick-loving-cock-fuck sums you up, no character development needed. In fact, you think that's what the people came here for. Your story can just end here. No need to have you talk about your heart shattering crush for your best friend. It's not like your bag filled with blood was dipped in liquid nitrogen and dropped to the ground, put back together, and dropped again each time he got a girlfriend. It's not like you're the only friend he trusts enough to talk about how much his relationships are shit and how he thinks it's his fault. Haha, what? That would never be the case.
Except it is.
Dave Stroodle== Explain.
WELP, you'd be a filthy liar with garbage rubbed on your body as if it was the finest soap made from the fat of the gods and the scent of their sweat, if you said you didn't see that coming.
Okay, so sit down. Make a cup of coffee, settle in like the dirt in a bathtub a kid left the water in after they were done cleaning their sticky fingers and muddy legs. This is gonna turn into a one sided feelings jam.
You're going to assume the reader doesn't know who John Egbert is. He's a pretty social guy but you doubt everyone in the audience know him all that well, let alone know exactly what he looks like. So youll explain in the most disgustingly love-sick fashion you can muster. For starters, the most noticeable feature he has aren't his blue eyes that resemble the deepest ocean that has yet to be explored, surprisingly enough. No, not his eyes but, his smile. He no longer has an overbite or buck teeth. Although it was somewhat endearing in its own way, he looks a lot more attractive. Even with his silly expressions. His smile is something that lingers in your mind and drives you insane during all your classes. Like, who the fuck thought it was a good idea to let this guy be so insanely gorgeous. Honestly, you didn't think guys could be as beautiful as this guy. You also didn't think a single weird expression could set you off edge and have to leave to room to cool down.
Don't even get yourself started on his hair. You just wanna run your hand through it. And his neck, fuck. Like, hell, his collar bones just top it all off. The shirts he wears are usually just big enough to where he can show it off. That kid is clueless about just how much of a tease he is. His bone structure is just so sharp. He'd be able to stab you with a cheek bone and you'd be fine with that 100%. Like, God, please, have this guy cut me with his cheek bones.
It's all pretty simple, you're head over heels for this loser. From his ruffled, soft black hair, all the way to his hatred for Betty Crocker. Another thing you don't understand about this kid, he eats gushers all the fucking time, and complains about it. He may hate the Batter Witch but that sure as hell won't stop him from eating her products apparently.
Anyway, you'll get to the juicy stuff later on, but right now, there is a table of people staring at you and you should probably find out why.
((EDIT: All errors should be fixed. If you come across something that should be fixed just message me.))
