I Thought You'd Never Say Goodbye
Blaine P.O.V.
"Kurt Hummel is back at McKinley!" I heard my gorgeous boyfriend scream down at his friends and watched Mercedes remove his ridiculous hat as I bit back a chuckle, Mercedes gave us our queue and Kurt whipped around to see what was going on. I began the speech I went over the night before and started singing Somewhere Only We Know. Looking at him the entire time as Dalton said their goodbyes to the only Kurt Hummel; even though he was only there for a little bit he would be greatly missed. When the song was finished I walked over and looked at him, and reciprocated the hug he gave back. I couldn't believe how much I loved this boy in such a short time I never wanted to let him go.
"I'm never saying goodbye to you." He whispered and sobbed in my shoulder everything was perfect in this moment and I just wanted to hold him longer. I was about to reply, tell him how much I loved him when I heard a shot ring out and Kurt went limp in my arms.
"Kurt…" I said as I felt a thick warm liquid leak on my hands and realized it was coming from my boyfriend. No, oh my god no, no, no! This cannot be happening.
"SOMEONE GET AN AMBULANCE!" I heard Finn yell and the glee club ran over to where I was standing Santana grabbed me and pulled me away so I didn't have to look at Kurt's, expressionless face and she hugged me. I just buried my face in her shoulder and sobbed.
"Kurt." I said strangled
"Shhh," She said as she rubbed my hair "Come on, Shhh, it's all right it's going to be fine." She said but her voice cracked from trying to hide her own tears.
"Come on," She took my hand and led me to her car before I knew it we were at the hospital. She basically had to drag me up there. I saw Burt there and his eyes were streaming with tears and Carole was holding him with telling him calming things fighting back her own tears. Burt saw me and he got up encircling me in his arms.
"What happened?" He asked
"We- We," I started to cry harder thinking about what happened previously and I heard him sob to.
"We don't know what happened… They were hugging and then we all heard a shot." Santana finished trying to keep her cool. Finn and Rachel arrived before the rest of the glee club did. Finn went over to his mom, and sobbed into her lap, and Rachel just sat there with her own tears running down her face.
"Hummel," The doctor called out and everyone besides Santana and Rachel went over there.
"Okay," The doctor continued "The shot punctured his heart; I'm honestly surprised he's still alive… But there's nothing further we can do. I'm sorry, I'd take the time you guys have to tell him goodbye." He looked at us with sincere eyes, and I felt my heart break. Nothing further we can do. Punctured his heart. Surprised he's still alive. Talk the time you guys have left. Goodbye.
My heart continued to shatter into a million pieces. I couldn't stand any longer and I collapsed under my weight. Santana rushed to my side, and rubbed my back as I cried and Bur, Carole, and Finn disappeared behind the doors to say goodbye a piece of their family. Finn came out first and sank down to his butt bringing his knees to his chest, and then Carole came out and wrapped her arms around her son. Burt was the last one out and he looked utterly wrecked. It was strange to see such a tough man look so broken and so small. Kurt was his world anyone who knew the Hummel's knew it, hell even a passerby on the street could tell how much he adored his son. What kind of cruel god would to this to a guy like Burt? Who has given everything to his son, a few years after he took his wife?
"Blaine," He said softly to me "He wants to see you." He said as a whole new round of tears came around. I nodded and head towards the doors, where I knew the love of my life was… dying. I composed myself and walked through the doors.
"Hey beautiful," I said as I kissed him on the forehead he smiled up at me so breathtaking that I almost forgot where we were… What was about to happen.
"Hello," he tried to move over and winced so I kneeled and kissed all of his fingers on both hands. "Is my dad okay?" He asked sadly
"As well as to be expected." I said and placed a light kiss to his wound
"Blaine?" He asked
"Hmmm?" I said unsure I'd be able to say anything else without bawling right then and there.
"Take care of him, please?" He begged me and his look just broke my heart all over again, so lost, broken. I nodded not trusting my voice to speak.
"Kurt-" I whimpered softly and he squeezed my hand "I love you." I said
"I love you too." He said letting the tears fall "I'm scared Blaine… I'm so scared I'm only seventeen, my life is supposed to be starting not ending. Next year I'm supposed to go to New York and blow them all away with my talent, and you, my boyfriend are going to blow the pop world away by your talent; we were supposed to move in together.… There were so many things I was going to do next year. I'm not supposed to be buried in the ground." He sobbed I managed to get beside him and hug him without hurting him. And I smoothed down his hair
"Shhh, baby it's okay. Shhh…" I said biting back my own tears "I love you so much," I kept repeating over and over again. He just sobbed until no more tears could come out; soon after he stopped Burt came in. I was going to walk out and give them the time they needed but Kurt stopped me.
"No, please stay. I want you two in here when…" He trailed off "I need the two people I care most about in here. Please tell Brittney I love her and I'll always be her dolphin and she'll always be my boo," He smiled fondly for the ditzy blonde. "And tell Cedes that she was my best friend in the entire world, and Finn that he was the best brother anyone could ask for, and tell the rest of the glee club that I love them. All of them even Rachel with her hideous rain deer sweaters and Puck with his horrid haircut, and tell Mr. Schue that he's a great teacher. Tell them all that if they ever lose their way I'll be there to guide them back," He smiled sadly "That goes for you two too, I'll always be right there beside you no matter how far away I may seem." He smiled sadly and looked over at Burt who was trying to appear tough for his son. "No one could have asked for a better dad, you were always there for me, and trust me I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with," He shot us a smile and we chuckled "But you were always there… You were the best dad anyone could ever ask for. I'm so lucky you were mine. I love you… It's okay to cry, it's okay to feel sad. I love you both so much. Don't forget to tell the others, and please don't pull away from them, they'll need people like you. They'll need you two and you'll need them"" He squeezed Burt's hand and Burt finally let the tears he had been trying to conceal run down his face.
"I love you too, kid. You were the best son anyone could have." He smiled down at him "And I'm so proud of you. You showed so many people that you were who you were and you didn't care what they said. I'm so proud of you." He said as he bent down and hugged his son and it would break even the coldest person's heart. But that moment was only there for a second because that's when we heard it…. That one long beep signaling he was gone, and he's not coming back.
"Kid?" Burt whimpered out and he just saying Kurt over and over again, his voice getting smaller every time he said it, and his heart breaking more every time he didn't get a response
Back In the Waiting Room
3rd Person P.O.V.
"Where's my dolphin?" Brittney asked Santana and Santana bit back the sob that was threatening to come out. How was she going to explain to Britt, that he was dead?
"Britt-Britt, come with me," She said grabbing her hands and making her sit, as the Latina did this everyone heard the strong Mercedes breakdown and cling on to Sam for dear life.
"Why's everyone crying?" Brittney asked innocently
"Sweetie," Santana began "Kurt's gone." She looked up with wide eyes
"When's he coming back?" She asked as she smiled "I miss him, he has the softest hands ever, and he never called me stupid, or makes me feel bad.
"No baby, Kurt's gone… As in not coming back." Her eyebrows ruffled for a minute
"Why? Does he not like me anymore?" She said as she frowned and a frown did not look right on such a sweet face, Blaine saw what was going on, and saw how tortured Santana looked. They'll need you. The words whispered in his mind, and he knew this is what he meant. Not only was Santana there when he needed her. Kurt cared deeply for the daffy blonde. So he tapped on her back and she gave him a look of thanks.
"Does he not like me anymore?" She asked again her voice small "Is that why he went away?"
"No honey, Kurt loved you. He said he'd always be your dolphin and you'd always be his boo." Blaine told the girl sweetly
"Then why he'd go?" She asked confused
"He didn't go by choice;" He said softly and thought for a second how could he possibly explain this to here? How can he just tell her this even if it'd break her heart, his own heart welled up with pain "Do you remember when there was a loud bang at school?" He asked her and she nodded "That was a gun, and it hit Kurt, and Kurt died honey." Everything finally clicked with her and her broken expression intensified.
"No!" She screamed "No! That's impossible he was so young, people don't die young! Why are you lying to me? Santana tell me he's lying?" She broke down
"He's not lying baby, I'm sorry." Santana said her own tears not being concealed anymore and went over to hug the girl.
"No…" She whispered again and curled within herself
"Shhh" She whispered as the girl broke down in her arms.
"It's not true is it? He's gonna come back soon and tell me everything is gonna be okay… Right? He's gonna tell me it was all just a cruel joke and call me boo, and hold me like he does every time I feel bad. Right?" She asked brokenly and Santana just shook her head sadly
"I'm sorry Britt-Britt." She said as Brittney began crying harder.
Blaine looked around and he had to get out of here he had to be close to Kurt, somehow. He went over to Burt and asked if he could go to Kurt's room and Burt nodded solemnly, and handed him the keys, and that was all Blaine need he took of through the doors and ran, ran away from all the heartbreak, ran away from all the crying, and ran away from where his boyfriend lay dead, forever frozen at seventeen. Blaine just ran all the way to the Hummel's household, and down to his boyfriend's room. He looked at his dresser… All his pictures… There were a bunch of Blaine and Kurt, one with his mother and a baby Kurt, a football group picture from when he was on the team, one of the glee club, a cheerio's group one, one of him and Sue, a couple of him and Mercedes, a bunch with him and Brittney, one with him Brittney, and Santana, one of him and Finn from the wedding, and a bunch of him and Burt, one of a tea party, and more leading up to the most recent on at Burt's wedding.
Blaine P.O.V.
How could that seem so far away now? He asked looking at the picture of Kurt and Burt dancing at the wedding, and smiled slightly. He shook his head and stripped down to his boxers and went to lay in Kurt's bed soaking up his scent and if he closed his eyes he could almost believe Kurt was still there… Almost.
Kurt P.O.V.
"Beautiful..." The word escapes Blaine's lips and rolls off his sweet tongue. I push myself up against him, wanting to be closer to him and his protective arm encircles me, holding me close. I knew what this was, it was time to say goodbye, but I couldn't bring myself to do it just yet. I know I said goodbye in the hospital, but I couldn't hold him like this. This is where I feel safe in his arms. Is it possible? Does he know I'm here? He smiles and I take it as a yes, and I realize then I can't ever possibly say goodbye to this boy.
His hands, rough, warm, strong, cup the sides of my face guiding my lips to meet his warm, smooth, inviting lips. I part my lips just in time to greet his, sending giddiness through my body. A smile finds a way to our lips as we separate. A passionate, strong kiss neither over nor under done. I reach up and run my hand over his smooth, shaved face. He catches my hand, bringing it up to those sweet lips, kissing each fingertip then the top of my hand, holding my gaze the whole time. I gently curl up against him. Lazily, his lips slide down to rest close to my ear. Then, I feel his warm breath on my ear as he whispers, "I love you."
The words tingled in my ear, through my mind, and into my overjoyed heart. Tears spring into my eyes and silently slide down my face. But then he opens his eyes, the smile disappears, and pain takes over his facial expressions.
"Kurt?" He whispered disbelievingly "Kurt..." He smiled and hugged me close, "I thought, I thought I'd lost you!"
"Shhh" I soothed him "But Blaine, I'm not really here, well I am, but I can't be. Not for long, we have to say goodbye, but I needed to make sure you'd be okay." He tried to smile, but his quickly broke and he cried a little longer. I rubbed his back soothingly,
"Blaine, I have a song and I want you to listen, really listen."
It won't be easy you'll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your love after all that I've done
You won't believe me
All you will see is the girl you once knew
Although she's dressed up to the nines
At sixes and sevens with you
I had to let it happen, I had to change
Couldn't stay all my life down at heel
Looking out of the window, staying out of the sun
So I chose freedom running around trying everything new
But nothing impressed me at all
I never expected it to
Don't cry for me Argentina the truth is I never left you
All through my wild days, my mad existence
I kept my promise, don't keep your distance
And as for fortune and as for fame
I never invited them in
Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired
They are illusions
They're not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time
I love you and hope you love me
Don't cry for me Argentina the truth is I never left you
All through my wild days, my mad existence
I kept my promise don't keep your distance
Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you
But all you have to do is look at me to know that
Every word is true
The last note rang out through the air before either of them attempted to say something. Blaine just opened up his arms waiting for Kurt to come into them.
"Blaine, I have so many things I want to say to you. The first, of course, being that I love you, when I met you I was at such a dark place, but you showed me the light, and taught me how to be happy again. You own my heart, it's yours. But when the time is right and you meet someone you like, give them yours. I know I'll always have a piece of it, but give the rest to someone when you're ready. I want you to love again, and I wouldn't be mad. I'll be right next to you smiling and saying 'go get them'. Last go for your dreams, with more passion then you had before. Live your dream out, because I can't." He said with the tears shining through I knew how much it broke Kurt's heart to not be able to go for his dreams.
Blaine P.O.V.
"I'll always love you Kurt. I'll never find anyone as amazing as you." I kissed him trying to show him all that I felt for him. I took my hand and moved it to his chest.
"My heart won't beat for anyone else. You're the only one who can make it beat both fast and slow, and you're the only one who can make me feel, and act, like a pre-teen. Come here." He motioned for me to come closer and I did and he wiped away my tears. "It will be okay." He just kneeled there holding my hand and looked me directly in the eye…
"I love you Blaine Anderson, I love you with every fiber of my being, never forget that. Always remember that I'm always right here," He said pointing to my heart. "And I'm always going to be right next to you. Remember what was said in the hospital… And remember to let yourself fall in love again." He came up real close and hugged me close "I'll never tell you goodbye." He whispered in my hear as he began backing up I smiled sadly at him and began backing up and slowly disappearing so he couldn't see me anymore, and he was really gone and my heart shattered even more. But I felt a familiar presence letting me know that I can get over this. And a familiar word went through my head COURAGE and I knew that everything from now on would be for Kurt.
