(Beginning A/N):
Yup, a One Piece-Overlord crossover. Betcha never saw THIS one coming.
Of course, given the weird combination, nobody will probably read it. Bah, I'll update it anyway, if only for my own amusement.
Anyway, for those of you who have never played Overlord: Red minions are fire-based; Brown minions are the generic Fighter-type; Gnarl is kind of perverted; and all through the games, I don't think the Overlord EVER had a line, which is why he doesn't say much of anything here; and you're missing out.
And for those who have not watched One Piece: You're missing out; Luffy, the one in the vest and hat, has a love for armor- he puts on any he comes across.
Finally: This is set post-Overlord 1. I haven't played the expansion, so I won't reference it (expect non-canonical irregularities). I will also try not to specify who became the Dark Mistress.
Leading his imposing Lord through the caverns, the elderly and hunched figure gave information on the task said Lord would be undergoing.
"As you know, sire, we recently acquired a magical 'gem of inter-reality transportation'- I took the liberty of forming a connection between it and the Tower Heart, and it seems we can get reliable visuals on these 'realities'."
Vocally silent, the massive figure kept pace (rather loudly) with his evil advisor, Gnarl.
"Through our testing, we've located two seemingly stable places that you may choose between- but, you may choose not to go altogether. We are not entirely sure if you will be able to return here using the gem, or if you will have to find its counterpart on the other side."
Gnarl reached the main hall, where the throne and the access pit to the magical Tower Heart resided; surrounding the glowing pool was a unit of Minion guards of varied color, who were standing at attention in the presence of their master.
"Here, we are, sire." The elderly minion approached the pool of magic-laced liquid, which had taken colors to present an image of the inside of a large structure. "This here is Option A: it is some sort of building where magical items of interest are kept. And sire, when I say 'building', I mean a really freaking huge one. I can't stress the 'huge' part enough. We could probably fit several full-scale replicas of the Tower in that place, it's so big."
The Overlord stood in his normal, silently threatening manner. He hadn't missed the small undertone of greed in Gnarl's voice when he mentioned 'magical items'.
"I recommend Option A for several reasons, sire: there are many different items of magic ability there, and if you must locate a counterpart to the gem, there's a good chance that it resides there. And also very many magic items. Did I mention that? Anyhow, here is Option B:" The image flickered and changed to that of an ocean. "While there seem to very little, if any, magic items in this place, there are other items of interest. Quaver, second image for Option B." The image shifted again, to a group of women in bikinis on a beach.
Within the confines his helmet, the Overlord raised his eyebrows.
Gnarl beat the jester over the head with his staff. "You fool! I said to put that one in my- eh, records stash! Never mind, just go to the next one."
With a snicker, the jester placed a different crystal on the Tray Of Showing Pictures; this one showed a pile of fruits covered in swirl patterns.
"These, while not looking especially delicious, are items locally called 'Devil Fruits'; according to legend by residents of this realm, they grant a single ability to the consumer, at the expense of being unable to swim or operate when submerged in liquid."
The Overlord still stood sternly, silently staring at the supernatural show of lights.
"We believe that if you, or your chief Minions, consume a specimen, your military force will multiply a considerable amount. The side effect of being unable to swim is not something that should be a problem; you'd drown even without the fruits, in your armor. Quaver, back to the first image."
The pool shimmered, changing back to the ocean view.
"There is a small problem, however. This particular realm seems to be almost entirely composed of water; the biggest landmass is some sort of seemingly endless ridge. However, Lord, there is a bounty of sailing vessels- you should have no trouble, ah, persuading one or two to aid you."
Gnarl looked to the ruler of the Dark Tower. "Sire, these are the only two realms we have knowledge of at the moment. Option A, with a massive bounty of magic items that could bolster your power immeasurably, and Option B, which has fruits of a possibly magic nature that could also reinforce your power. I feel I should add, sire, that we may be able to magically replicate these fruits for even more evility."
The heavily clad grunted in thought.
The elderly advisor gestured back at Quaver, who still held the image crystals. "Quaver! Go back to 'that' image."
With only a slightly confused look, the jester paced the indicated crystal on the tray. With a shiny shimmer, the pool changed to the scantily clad women on the beach.
"Sire, I should add this as well, if you're having difficulty deciding. The damsels of Realm B seem to be rather well endowed, as you can see. And, seeing as the Dark Mistress is currently on vacation in a faraway location, you might use some extra company of a certain sort."
Slowly, the Overlord turned his head menacingly to Gnarl, who felt the waves of suspicion quite well.
"Because, ah, sire, the ones from Spree have trouble maintaining the entire Dark Tower, so they could always use some more manpower. Well, womanpower. The Minions aren't too useful for cleaning, as you've probably noticed."
As if on cue, a nearby Red tripped over a loose stone and set a banner on fire.
"Sire, which will you pick?"
The Lord of the tower hummed softly to himself (although it came out an angry growl for some reason) in thought. The pool shimmered several times as Quaver alternated between the three images- storehouse, scantily clad females, fruits. Scantily clad females, storehouse. Then, it just stayed on the scantily clad women.
"Quaver, quit drooling and keep switching the pictures!"
Reluctantly, the jester continued to alternate the crystals whilst his master looked on. After a few seconds, a heavily clad steel hand raised itself, and the image froze on the fruits.
"Option B, sire?"
The gauntleted fist changed to a gauntleted thumbs-up. Gnarl grinned to himself, and shuffled over to a nearby pedestal, where a cloudy amber gem glowed.
"Sire, this is the gem of inter-reality transportation. The manual says that to teleport, you must clench it in your fist, and say 'there's no place like elsewhere' three times. I'll tune it to the Tower Heart so that your destination will not be random, but Option B."
The Overlord tromped to the pedestal, and lifted the small (but heavy) rock. It gave an aura of instability, which brought a twinge of unease to its wielder.
His advisor noticed. "Do not worry, Lord. We've reinforced it with the Tower Heart's magic, so it shouldn't shatter once you go through. But, just in case, here is a watertight pouch and the incantation for a repair spell." The elderly minion gestured to a leather bag and a scroll held out by one of the guards.
The Dark Lord of the Dark Tower put the scroll in the pouch, and tied the small bag to a rung in his armor. With a self-assuring grunt, he walked towards the armory to collect his weapon.
"Sire, also: you cannot take any Minions with you! The gem only allows a single passenger!" Not even pausing, the Dark Master continued down the steps to the forge. Once he had left, Gnarl slipped one of the image crystals into a pocket concealed within his cloak.
Sword in hand, the tall & bulky Dark Master lifted the cloudy gem once again. The Minions had assembled a going-away party, and they all stood in anticipation- none of them had actually heard the Overlord speak before. He mostly communicated by grunting and pointing; the fancy administration was done either by Gnarl or the Dark Mistress.
"Remember, sire, to conserve your mana. We can't transfer energies through the link between you and the Tower Heart, and it does not seem that magic is common in Realm B." Gnarl stood to the Overlord's side, much calmer than the assembled Minions- he had seen many Overlords die, and this one was no different. Well, maybe a little different. Gnarl would miss the guy, if only for a few days.
"A message arrived from the Dark Mistress as well, sire. She says, 'don't die, you owe me twenty gold from poker'." A smile crossed Gnarl's lips. "At least she's in good spirits, sire. You should be going; no reason to dawdle needlessly."
The Overlord closed his gauntlet over the gem of inter-reality transportation, his glowing eyes narrowing to slits in concentration. An air of tension filled the room as every Minion leaned forward in anticipation, eager to hear their Master's true voice. Gnarl even perked his ears, although he didn't move much else.
Every Minion present held its breath; the Dark Lord raised his fist high, gently allowing the gem's soft magic to encompass him. With a soft rattling rumble, akin to a distant earthquake, the Overlord drew a breath; the room filled with rattling wheezes as every Minion also inhaled.
There was a tense pause…
And the Overlord vanished in a flash of light and an explosion of smoke.
Choking, Gnarl staggered over to the Tower Heart's pool- the magical link between Heart and Master should reestablish once the Dark Lord reached his destination.
There was another suspenseful moment, this time filled with wheezing Minions and a hazy atmosphere.
Almost a full minute passed until the pool took on an image. Unfortunately, it was pitch black- and accompanied by a voice. Gnarl remembered it; he had recorded it himself, back in his youth.
"We're sorry, the Overlord you are trying to reach is not available. Please try again later. If there is Evil to be done, however, GET YOUR ARSES MOVING AND FIND A NEW MASTER! Thank you for using Tower Heart Wireless. Have a nice day."
Gnarl hung his head; after a moment, the Minions behind him began wailing in sorrow, their cries echoing through the grand hall and into the lands before the Dark Tower.
The Overlord squinted; the light was blinding, the spinning was disorienting, his sword was getting hot and something that sounded like a youthful Gnarl kept cheerily telling him that the signal to the Tower Heart had been lost due to magical interference.
Conserve mana, my heavily armored ass. Exerting more magical power upon the gem he held, the Overlord managed to lessen the wild spinning. The light remained, but at least his brains weren't being squished against his skull.
It was a long trip; he almost wished he had brought a snack. Not like he'd be able to eat anything mid-transit, though; in one hand, he held a gem that was pulling him violently forward, and in the other, a heavy sword that was gradually getting hotter.
The Dark Lord sighed; he had beaten several legendary heroes, defeated the previous Overlord (who was also an annoying powerful wizard), cleared the land of zombies, annihilated the dwarves, saved the elves (although he had begun to regret that decision; they insisted on delivering flowers every Tuesday), yet here we was, complaining about a warm weapon and a headache.
Seeing no end to the glaring light, the large man closed his eyes and prepared for a nap.
He was roused from his rest by… nothing. His eyes still closed, the Dark Lord tried to figure out what had awoken him- nothing felt off- he could breath, nothing had impaled him, there were no screams from terrified locals…
It occurred to him that when he had fallen asleep, he had had the sensation of being pulled forward, while being blinded by light- now, he instead felt like he was falling, and the gradually increasing wind was making it difficult to breath.
Wrenching his eyes open, the Overlord stared in shock as he accelerated downward, having just teleported several hundred feet above an ocean.
The navigator aboard the Thousand Sunny stretched her arms, happily absorbing the bright, early morning sunlight. A good restful sleep after a jolly party was a nice way to start a morning.
And she wasn't the first one awake, surprisingly- the distinctive clanking of weights could be heard from the crows' nest, and the light was on in the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, the young woman looked upward with her eyes closed, gladly absorbing the sunlight.
For a split second, the sunlight flickered; there were no clouds, and she hadn't seen any birds about, so she was momentarily confused. A second or two later, a soft whistling, as though something was flying towards the ship, could be heard. The term 'cannonball' immediately came to mind, and the navigator dove for cover in the kitchen.
Ignoring the confused look from the cook, she glanced cautiously through a nearby window; the whistling got louder, but it seemed to be coming from… above? Why in the world would a cannonball be flying at them from the sky, of all places?
Weirder things had fallen from the sky, she realized. Cannon fire would be almost normal.
The sound got louder, and the cook stopped what he was doing; he could hear it now. Joining the woman at the window, he squinted towards the sky- and his one visible eye widened.
Smashing unceremoniously into the deck of the Thousand Sunny was a person. A large man, strangely bulky and heavy despite his apparent size. Heavy enough, in fact, to bash a myriad of cracks and knock the ship deeper into the ocean and jostle everybody on board.
Thrown backward by the impact, the woman rolled off the cook –he had managed to throw himself between her and the counter, and was now dazed- and crept to the window. The smoke was beginning to blow away, revealing a… suit… of armor…
The woman snarled to herself, angrily threw open the kitchen door, stormed to the dazed man in the armor, and yanked him off the deck.
"LUFFY I SWEAR TO WHATEVER DIVINE ENTITIES WATCH OVER US THAT I WILL BEAT YOU INTO A NEW TYPE OF PULP FOR STARTLING ME AND BREAKING THE SHIP!"
The armor twitched slightly, and the woman realized that the body was oddly heavy, even for one enclosed in a suit of armor.
Her rage lessened, replaced by confusion; her captain didn't weigh this much…
After a moment, the door to the mens' quarters burst open, and a young man in a red vest and straw hat stood there, a mix of terror and confusion on his face.
"What did I do? You only just woke me!"
The woman's head slowly turned to the male in the doorway, and stared at him in shock before slowly turning back to the man she was currently trying to strangle with his own cape. A fear slowly dawned on her as more details of the man broke through her mind: he was big. Very big, but not as big as the man-giants. Still large, though. And muscular. Quite muscular, he had as many if not more muscles than the resident swordsman.
And his eyes were glowing.
"Who's that? His armor is so cool!" The youth raced to the body, and he knelt over it. "Hey, big guy! Can I have your armor?"
The Overlord blinked several times. He had crashed headfirst into the deck of a very, very durable ship, and then some woman began violently shaking him while yelling something about pulp and entities, and now there was some kid asking if he could have the Arcanium armor.
Would he ever have a normal day?
More to the point, the condition of the gem. With a heavy groan, the Dark Lord forced himself to his feet, opened his left hand, and eyed its contents.
The gem was split cleanly in two.
"The Arcanium helmet detects that you are still alive! Congratulations, you have survived a fall from several hundred feet in the air. The Arcanium armor does not detect any life-threatening injuries, but you should still rest before setting off on your Evil quest. Thank you for using Gnarl's Overlord Damage Assessment, please have a nice day."
Dropping the gem halves into the pouch, the Overlord looked at his audience. Two youngsters, near adulthood; the boy was grinning at him, seemingly pleased he was still alive, while the girl tried unsuccessfully to hide behind the boy.
Deciding to test the authenticity of Gnarl's Overlord Damage Assessment, said Overlord tried to take a step forward. He failed, and his mind immediately went to muck before he fell face-first into unconsciousness and a very hard deck.
Giblet sniffed, and set the heavy battleaxe next to the Tower Heart's pool. It stood out among the other tribute items, most of which were pictures of the Minions and the Evil deeds they had accomplished while under the command of the most recent Master.
Gnarl set a gnarled claw on Giblet's shoulder, feeling rather down himself. "We all loved the Evil bastard, Giblet. True, he sometimes did things of Good intent- but he was human, after all. Mistakes were to be expected."
The blacksmith Minion sniffed again, a tear falling down his cheek.
"But, for some reason, I don't want to think he's dead. Sure, he went to some other dimension where there's a bunch of water and he can't swim for crap. True, the manual said that the death rate with using the gem was 70%. But, for some reason I want to say…"
"He's not dead!"
"Is your voice normally that… girly?"
"Giblet not say anything..."
"Then… who…"
"I like his armor! It's so… cool… and shiny!"
"Is that coming from… Giblet, help me clear this mess!"
Roughly shoving a mound of rotten flowers aside, Gnarl knelt in front of the pool, desperately searching its shimmering surface for a visual from the Master.
After a moment, it flickered and brought a little bit of sound.
"-the new deck! I wanna kick his ass!"
"Franky, it was probably an acci-"
Gnarl frowned; the signal from the Master was extremely weak. But, he was still alive according to the people near his helmet. The Minion grinned gleefully, and turned to the shocked Giblet next to him.
"Giblet! Sound the bugle! Recall the messenger heading to the Dark Mistress! THE MASTER IS ALIVE!"
Again, he woke in a blur. He was beginning to sense a pattern- first, a blur where he was met by a bunch of reptilian gremlin things; then, a blur after the Dark Mistress had accidentally pushed him off the balcony of the Dark Tower during the wedding; after that, a blur after he smashed into the deck of a ship, and now, a blur while he woke confused and groggy amongst a bunch of young people.
The man growled at his own crap luck, sending at least three of the people around his cot running for cover.
"You're awake!" The youth from earlier, who had asked for his armor, grinned at him.
The man answered with a grunt.
"Can I have your armor?"
For some reason, the Overlord found that entertaining. Give the armor, which he had nearly died several times to get, to some kid just because he had asked for it?
"Is… he all right?…"
"I think he's laughing…"
"He won't be laughing after I pound his head in for damaging my ship!"
The threat stopped the Dark Lord's painful laugh. His head much clearer than before, he pulled himself from the cot and stood in front of the man who had threatened to attack.
Damn. That guy was almost as tall as the Overlord himself, taller if you included the ridiculous hairstyle.
"I don't think he liked your tone." The speaker this time was a man seemingly at ease, sitting near the back of the room; he had three swords next to him, and unkempt short green hair.
Green hair?
The heavily armored man put a gauntlet to his head; he had to be insane. Nobody could have green hair. At this point, the Overlord realized that the other tall man had light blue hair. Which was also pretty much impossible.
Although, insanity would explain a few things. Like the goblin things that usually followed him around.
"Mas- hear m-" Speak of the devil, he could hear Gnarl all of the sudden. "Bad conn- -signal wea- -gem inta-" The voice faded into a soft buzz. The Dark Lord put the disembodied voice under 'things caused by possible insanity'.
As if his day couldn't get any stranger, the Overlord realized that some sort of raccoon was watching him front the door. The raccoon had antlers, and a blue nose.
Yup. Definitely insanity. I've gone bonkers, no doubt about it.
With a sigh, the man turned to the people still around his cot. An unusually tall woman, the boy who kept asking for his armor, the blue-haired man, the green-haired man, a blond guy who was asleep on another bed, and three people watching him from behind the door- another kid with an abnormally long nose, the reindoon, and the girl from before.
"Are you well?" It was the tall woman this time.
"I would not argue if someone tried to send me to an insane asylum."
(End A/N):
If anybody can guess what fiction Option A is from, they get ten points.
Don't expect a regular update schedule; I'll probably write to this whenever I'm bored, or my Internet is malfunctioning for some bizarre reason.
