:'( This is going to be sad ridden and angsted cos I can't stop crying and...and...and...just here- take it!
Summary: Sam...Sam doesn't know what to do now. What has he got left? Tag to 99 Problems.
Warning: Isn't 99 problems a Jay Z song? AND they *were* gonna use it in the pilot. Happy fact! so spoilers and angst and...sadness :( waahh hhaa haaaa...:'(
Disclaimer: I don't fucking own em! *sobs* It's worse enough watching!
One more thing, you dare Dean Winchester! You fucking dare! Do you want to do this to Sam?
Sam stood, he wasn't tall, he didn't feel tall. Why should he when the world just fell from his feet? Why should anything matter?
But it did, and it hurt more than HellHounds ripping at Dean, more than Alastair's knife in his intestines and more than his brother breaking his heart like it was glass with a sledgehammer.
"Dean." Sam gasped, blinking heavily, a choked sound caught in his throat, his throat bobbing.
"Hey Sammy." The unexpected voice was too loud in his ears and he slowly turned his face, looking at his fate, before him.
Lucifer smiled, his brow frowning when he saw Sam's tears suddenly rush down Sam's face, like it was in a race to reach to dirt, in a race to die.
It's what this felt like.
"You're not looking quite yourself, although I am glad you asked to see me."
Sam's chest started to rise and fall in quick short bursts, his mouth set in a firm line but as his chin trembled and quivered he looked away, letting the tight knot in his throat breathe out as he did.
"Dean..." Sam rushed. "He's going...he's going to say yes."
Nick smiled, Lucifer's wear and tear leaving great gouges in his flesh, bones shimmering through.
"Ah...I see. Then this is a good time for you." Lucifer said, never standing too close to Sam.
Sam's breathing hitched and a sound burst from Sam's mouth. "What can you do?...To stop him." Sam turned and looked at Lucifer, red rings under his eyes, his mouth set tense while the rest of him sagged, spent.
Lucifer shrugged. "Free will...sorry kid." Lucifer came forward despite Sam's scoff, uncomfortably close to Sam. "I know how it feels Sam. To have your brother betray you...your family cast you out, look down you like you're a freak...I can make it stop hurting, all of this...you can have your revenge."
Sam gave a sad frown, flecks of anger spiking in his eyes.
"I don't want revenge!...I don't want to have a showdown, I don't want this for Dean, I want Dad to be alive, I want Mom to be here and Jess... and De-Dean...I want him to be happy..." Sam sobbed, watery hazel eyes staring at Lucifer.
Lucifer didn't answer and really, he couldn't give Dean happiness- wasn't in the job description and all.
"But you'd be at peace Sam."
Lucifer's answer was Sam's harsh breathing.
"Your brother betrayed you Sam, your dad- your own father asked Dean to kill you...you've been cast out as I have and even now- you're alone, there's nothing left-no-one left...not for you, he was your one thing Sammy..."
Lucifer watched as Sam sobbed again, tears spilling down his face faster.
"Now...do you understand? Must we have this tiresome talk again?...Will. You. Say...Yes?"
Sam blinked, kept his eyes shut this time. He could feel hot tears build behind the lids and feel the fire Lucfier brought with him flicker, see the shadows. He gasped, a new wave of sorrow and anguish breaking him and beating him. He'd promised Dean, he'd asked him as a brother and this, this is what happened? Team Free Will was...gone, Sam didn't even know if Dean meant that.
He'd lost everything, what was there left to live for?
Sam opened his mouth, Lucifer eager at his ear. Sam breathed out, hot breath fogging the air.
Sam's eyes opened, redder than before, full of so much pain...
Dean...
Sam scrunched his face as a sob choked in the back of his throat and he gasped, his tongue moving with his mouth open to form a word.
Sam's heartbeat thundered in his rigcage...
Lucifer's breath hot on his face.
"...No..." Sam breathed, lips snapping shut as he stared forward, biting his lips as a fresh wave of pain tore through him.
It was silent.
Then he spoke.
"Sam..." The voice sounded angry and really, Sam didn't care. "We've talked about this...you need to say yes, your own brother has for hells sake! You're the only peice left, get some fucking balls and step up to your place!"
Nick stood away, heaving, lighting striking high in the sky.
Sam glanced up, wondered if heaven was up and if Dean was there...suiting up right now.
Dean had betrayed him...because he'd felt there was nothing else...
His own father had told Dean to kill him...and Dean never even tried-never could-never will.
There is no-one and nothing left...there's Bobby...and Cas...
They're as desperate and as hopeless as me.
"No."
"Sam...even now, you're still running on blind faith! What's wrong with you? You will Say it Sam...one way or another...six months, 2 months, a week...you will. So say it now and save me the money."
"No." He breathes, no quivers this time.
Sam closes his eyes, feels a roar of thunder and the earth shake and then when he opens them. He's alone.
Sam sags, it wasn't easy saying no, it wasn't easy clinging to nothing when there was an out possible, another chance to run away.
You always did... Dean's voice is still there...still talking to him.
I gotcha' Sammy, nothing bad is gonna' happen to you while I'm around. Team Free Will.
Yeah, and it was always wrong. Sam always came back, always did.
"I'm not..." Sam swallowed. "I'm not taking the easy way out this time Dean- you've taught me it's wrong..." Sam looked up, clouds hiding whatever was going up beyond them.
"Then why did you...why'd you leave me?"
The clouds rumble as if in answer and Sam thinks if he could see Michael now, if he could get one last message to Dean, even if his brother isn't listening.
"I know I broke my promise to you...more than once, I know I betrayed you...I'm sorry. I am. But now...you've broken your promise to me...and the Dean I know would never, not once. You've gotta' think if the one who's Lucifer's betting, the one who always caves...is the one saying no...and standing here...alone."
The clouds stayed silent, no wind, no sounds.
Sam nodded, believing this was the end...this was it and he had nothing, no brother to his name.
"I still love you." Sam whispered, the words hung heavy and still in the silence. "I still believe."
There was still no reply.
:'( I want them to get this out! NO! DON'T SAY YES! NO PLEASE :( you will kill me if you do Dean...:( please..- I needed to stop crying and...this provoked it but...it helped in the end cos if Dean did say yes- Sam would be...a broken man...and that can't happen. I won't let it.
