A/N: this chapter was originally written with multiple typos for the parody, but I decided to remove most of them as they were annoying readers.

Disclaimer: this was written by an insane author who wanted to write a Mary Sue parody, while trying to get every possible tick in the TvTropes Fanfiction Drinking Game that isn't fandom-specific or NSFW. If I didn't add this disclaimer, copyright police would break my door down. I Do Not Own/Please don't sue

Magdeline Adonai Raven Ydonna Sarah Umberto Ebony had sparking sapphire orbs for eyes, sparkling hair golder then the sun, and despite being only twelve, Magdeniegn's orbs (both sets) were bigger than Tsunaede's. she was a civilian, until, one day, the day of the genin graduation exam's she decided to become a ninja, despite not having shown the slightest interest in it before. Most civilians don't want to join the military, after all. Not needing to tell her parents what she was doing since they're dead, she galloped to the Hokage's office to ask to become a ninja. She was immediately allowed to have a private meeting with him immediately, despite most people having to wait for weeks to have the Hokage have a meeting with them.

"Yes Magdeleign you can have your genin test immediately. despite not having any experience manipulating you're chakra you may go to the academy building and give Iruka this note. Also, why are you a pony Malderin?"

"I needed to become a pony to join the military. It will go away later and I will be dressed in excruciatingly described clothes that don't exist in this reality. Now give me the note."

Maglednin then went to the academy where she saw Naruto being failed for not being able to do the Hitsuji-Mi-Tora Bunshin no jutsu (Ram-Snake-Tiger Art of the Doppleganger), so she taught him the shadow clone technique even though she has been constantly described as having no knowledge of chakra whatsoever. Then she accused Mizuki as being a traitor to the village. Despite not having evidence for this claim, her speech was so arousing that every ninja in the world showed up to arrest him. Now that half the plot for chapter one had been annihilated, she announced to Naruto that she was his daughter from the future, produced from one of many wives (everyone lost count after the sixth hundredth) and had come to set things right. She was also the jinchūriki of all 108 biiju, which is why she gravitated to him, as he was the jinchūriki of the Kyūbi.

Then she took the graduation test, wowing Iruka with her skill so much that he announced she should become a sannin rank, but he couldn't do that since the rank didn't exist, so she had to become a genin.

"Oh my Jashin! You are so amazing that I well set aside my quest to kill my brother and create a marriage law to marry you despite being only twelve!"

Sakura then dropped dead of a broken heart, having undergone Death by Adaption. Then got back up and continued walking since this has no continuity whatsoever and more plot holes than a sponge. Maplelinn picked up a cute puppy and named it George. She then turned back into a human, who was wearing goffic clothes, which are identical to those of her best friend Ebony Darkness Demenria Waven Ray.

AN: If each of you readers don't send fifty trillion reviews I will not update, I will do something horrible to you or George instead.