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I


It took all but a few hours before utter hell had broken loose and catastrophe had struck in more ways than one. Death did that to the world. They say it's purely the luck of the draw if today's the day the world decides it's time for you to pop your clogs, or is that God's decision? But it's neither here nor there, if it happens then you best be darn ready for it when it does.

Kate Beckett stared fixedly out of the window into the bustling streets of New York City, her mind a buzz of agonizing thoughts and sad memories. She felt numb. So much had happened in the last 24 hours, she was surprised she could still breathe in an appropriate manner. Trepidation seeped through her each time she closed her eyes as the images of her Captain's dead body bombarded her mind.

Kate had no wish to discuss what had happened that night and fought with Castle profusely until he had allowed her to go home on her own. She wanted – no, needed – the space to be surrounded by her thoughts and cry without him fussing about. The last thing Kate Beckett ever wanted was for anyone to see her in a weakened state. She had built up those walls and she wasn't prepared to let them fall down – for anyone.

Her desire for a quiet night had been consequently broken when she found Josh slumped against her front door, sleeping. She didn't have the effort to fight and send him home; he'd probably end up sleeping on the sofa anyway. Kate nudged him awake with her foot, leaving the door open as she walked across the threshold. He walked up behind her, planting a kiss on her cheek before heading towards the bathroom. A slight aroma of alcohol lingered in his wake. Neither of them had spoken a word and despite wanting nothing other than some quiet it had deeply annoyed her.

The soft sounds of water running drifted hazily in the background. Kate's fixation on the bustle of New York City remained unbroken. She watched as people wandered carefree up and down the streets in their own little bubbles. Cars raged up and down the street, lights flashing menacingly in the evening's darkness, the occasional sound of a car's horn rising in the night air.

'Kate,' Josh said softly but Kate ignored him, wanting the silence she had earlier hated to once again be restored.

The feel of someone's nimble fingers caressing her shoulder shook her out of her reverie. She looked up into the hardened brown eyes of Josh Davidson, a strange emotion stirred within her. Kate flinched as Josh placed a number of soft kisses along her cheekbone. She heard the murmur of her name by her ear as he trailed kisses down her neck. She tried to shift out of his grasp, away from his touch, but he took no notice, becoming more persistent.

Kate felt herself staggering backwards, away from the window and towards her bed. Josh's hand ran down her front tugging at the buttons on her shirt. As his hand made a slow procession down her front, she heard the soft ping as each button popped and fell to the ground with a faint clatter. His hand reached over her shoulder; grabbing onto her breast and squeezing, causing Kate to gasp in pain. She toppled backwards, landing on top of Josh which he took as encouragement and was on her in an instant.

Josh's hands found their way down to the front of her trousers, undoing the zipper. He rocked his hips against hers, gasping at the friction, before sliding his hands into the depths of Kate's panties. Kate squirmed at his touch, making an attempt to push him off. Josh grabbed her forearms, pinning them above her head as he ground into her hips. A glint of lust and what Kate believed to be nothing other than primal savagery shone in his eyes. Kate fought the urge to turn her head to the side and gag at the stench of stale alcohol that rolled off his tongue.

Josh had her pinned, leaving Kate momentarily lost in methods of how to escape when it clicked. She thrust a seductive stare in Josh's direction; slowly allowing her tongue to slide along her lips, inviting him closer. He took the bait edging closer, loosening his grip on her forearms, sliding them down her arms towards her body. One of her arms snaked their way around his neck whilst the other felt its way along her bedside table until it grazed over the rectangle object of her desire. She picked it up and swung.

Josh toppled off her clutching the side of his head, a gentle trickle of blood sliding down his fingers.

'Fuck, Kate,' Josh cursed, checking himself over for serious damage.

She took no notice of him; still clutching the 'weapon' to her chest as she stumbled out of the room. It was hardly a weapon in any respect – it was one of her prized possession, her copy of Heat Wave which Castle had taken the time to personally sign. Calling it her prized possession in her mind was one thing she would never dare speak out loud, especially in the presence of the author himself. She was, however, thoroughly amused at the thought that a Richard Castle book had been Josh's demise of sorts. Josh seemed to wage a vendetta against her partner, turning him into the basis of many of their arguments. He had even gone as far as banning Kate from keeping Castle's books on her nightstand because it 'distracted' him whilst trying to have sex with her. Twat.

It was only a few moments before Josh staggered out of the room behind her, pushing her up against the wall. Kate wondered if he was seriously stupid enough to think that there was some kind of invitation for a round two. Hadn't she just tried to knock him out with a book?

Josh grabbed her leg, wrapping it around his waist bringing them closer together.

'Get your hands off me right now before I do something that I will greatly regret,' Kate snarled, a new level of menace entering her tone that would have Castle running in the other direction.

'Come on, Kate, don't be a prude'

Josh bent forward and sucked on the lobe of her ear, needling it gently between his teeth. Kate shivered at the sensation leaning her head to the side, granting him greater access. Her movements cleared a path along his neck; Kate leaned forward bearing her teeth before sinking them into flesh. Josh gasped in surprise, losing his grip on holding Kate's leg in place. She used this to her advantage, swinging it down before propelling it upwards until it met with his groin. He gasped, doubling over in pain.

Kate had the sudden urge to throw up as she stumbled towards the front door of her apartment. Hot, angry tears slid down her cheeks. Everything had become too much and Kate wanted nothing more than to run. Run, and never look back. The grief of her boss's and the betrayal of her own boyfriend in his alcohol induced state trying to rape her clung to the confines of her heart. Sometimes when you find yourself in one of the worst situations possible it's hard to believe that things could get any worse. But this was only the beginning of a journey that could make or break her, she was sure of it.

Blinding pain ricocheted through Kate as she found herself falling backwards. Kate struggled to break free; Josh had his hands in an iron clasp around her hair dragging her precariously across the wooden floor. He dragged her to her feet by her hair, shoving her towards the kitchen counter. Kate lost her balance gripping onto the kitchen counter for support. If she was going to go down she wasn't going to go down without a fight!

She waited and watched as he edged closer like a predator waiting to pounce. Kate sucked in deep breaths as though her lungs appeared to be devoid of oxygen. An act, that's all it was. Weak? Kate was never weak and this was one time she was insistent on proving it. No one was going to take advantage of her and get away with it. She let Josh edge closer before her arm gracefully flashed forwards connecting with Josh's face, throwing him slightly off balance. But she didn't stop there. She pushed forwards with continuous hard jabs and cross punches, shoving in the occasional upper cut, catching him on his chin, pushing his head back at an awkward angle. Kate rounded off her assault with a roundhouse to the head knocking him completely off balance.

Kate wasted no time to see what her damage had done heading full pelt towards the door. She was sobbing now and took no notice at the rain that was lashing against her half-naked body.


Author's note: I hope you all enjoyed it. This is my first Castle fic so no one kill me for something (I don't know what - I'm rambling). But I digress, a HUGE thank you to my superawesomeamazing friend Marie (.net/~mariestarbuck) who went and beta'd it for me. Everyone go read her fics because they are absolutely beautiful.

I'll try and get the next chapter out as soon as possible but I am the biggest procrastinator on the planet so you'll have to bug me excessively :P