Hey, this is probably the strangest thing I have ever written. It was a challenge, or rather, a dare given to me by a friend. It was originally supposed to be an NC17, but I just couldn't go that far... -_- Also, this fic takes the major piss out of Treize and Lady Une, so beware!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even my teeth.
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13x13=169


One day, when the sexy leader of OZ, Treize, was taking a bath, he looked down on himself and decided that something had to be done about his fit exterior.

"Oh, Lady Une!" he chimed sweetly, and clapped his hands.

A woman with long, brown hair rolled into a bun, and glasses, obediently rushed to her master's side. "What can I do for you, tiger?" she asked sweetly.

"I--" Treize started, and suddenly smiled seductively, "Have I ever told you how sexy you look in that uniform?"

Une grinned and blushed into a strawberry at the same time, "You don't look too bad yourself there, laddy."

"Naturally. Anyways, I was just having my usual rose scented bath here, and I suddenly realised... if I ever die, this world will be deprived of my sexiness!"

Une gasped in shock, "Oh, no! What do we do?"

"I need a clone!" he decided, and started squirting some shaving cream underneath his armpits.

"A clone?"

"Yes. Right now!"

"That's easy enough," Une smiled, and whistled loudly as if to call a dog. "Here, boy!"

And there came a second Treize running on all fours, wearing practically nothing except some shorts and a leash on his neck. He jumped into Une's arms, and started licking her face.

"I always keep one spare," the lady explained. "I call him Treize II"

"Excellent!" Treize exclaimed, as he continued to shave himself.

Once he was done with his business, he got out of the bath, walked towards his clone, and looked him up and down.

"My, I do look handsome, don't I? Getting me all horny just lookin' at him! He's... housetrained, right?"

"Of course, your highness," Une grinned, "In every way."

"Take a bath with me, Treize II," Treize said in his usual gay voice. So, both Treizes went into the bathtub, and disappeared underneath the water's surface. Only a few air bubbles that reached the air suggested any activity going on.

A few minutes later, both resurfaced, looking very relaxed and out of breath.

"Room for one more?" Une asked enthusiastically.

"Sure!" Treize exclaimed. "The more the merrier."

Une ripped off her clothes in one go, and jumped into the now cramped bath tub, where the three of them continued to have some fun for the rest of that afternoon, at one point being joined by a random OZ officer.

Once Une and Treize II had left, Treize smiled to himself, thinking, 'It's good to be me.'
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