Disclaimer: I don't own Shingeki no Kyojin
It was always her. She could always see past his facade.
Levi yawned as he forced himself out of bed. Normally, he would play stoic and get to it immediately, but that morning he was just too tired. Maybe it was because Erwin had been a bit more demanding lately, or maybe it was just his primital needs catching up with him. Either way, the last thing he wanted to do was head out on another mission. Alas, that was the exact thing he had to do.
He halfheartedly yanked on his uniform and combed his hair back into perfection. Yes, that looked more presentable. That was his facade: to be stoic and presentable. But that was all it was; a facade. Really, he was only human. He was so sick of everyone looking up to him and depending on him. Because what if one day he let them down? They needed him and he couldn't do anything? Every day, he hoped and prayed that would never happen.
Levi headed down to the breakfast table. As usual, he paid no heed to the obnoxious chatter and claimed his typical seat.
As usual.
He must keep himself composed and orderly. That is what everyone sees and that is what he must fake. True, he was a clean freak, but this was extended far past that. He had to be meticulous about everything. Details, appearance, posture, everything. He must not let them see past his facade.
As everyone got up to saddle their horses, Petra walked up. "Um, Captain, Eld is having trouble with his horse."
"Just get him a different one. We have a few extra in the stables," Levi said without a thought.
Petra turned around towards the stables, but then turned back to face Levi. "Are you tired, Captain? I could lead the Survey Corps for you."
Levi narrowed his eyes in irritation. How come Petra was the only one who could see through his facade? She did it so easily, too. No matter how hard he tried to conceal his feelings, she could read him like an open book. "No thanks. I can do it myself."
"Oh," Petra said offhandedly. "If that's fine with you, Captain." She ran off toward the stables listlessly.
A few minutes later, Levi got on his horse and led everyone on the newest expedition. Hange wanted to try a new experiment and needed some new specimens for her research. The job was simple, really; just catch two titans and safely transport them to Hange.
Levi saw the first titan running towards them after 30 minutes of riding. It looked about 10 meters. He looped off from the rest of the group, followed by Petra and Gunther. Levi used his 3DMG to zip up to the titan's shoulder. He shot past its face, causing it to try and swat him down. Meanwhile, Petra and Gunther cleanly sliced its Achilles Tendons. The titan came tumbling to the ground while Levi zipped to a nearby tree to avoid getting crushed. From there, Gunther and Petra took out its shoulder muscles to keep it from swinging its arms. The rest of the Survey Corps pulled up to the titan and began binding it to a very sturdy, extra large wagon.
Levi got back on his horse and split up the Survey Corps. The first half, composed of him, Petra, and a few others, was to go on ahead to capture the second titan. The second half was to head back to Hange with the first titan they captured.
After an hour, Levi found the second titan. It was a bit taller than the first one; about 15 meters. He once again split up from the group to apprehend it. Petra and some other guy who he didn't know also followed him. Levi went for the shoulders, too fast for the titan to follow. Petra went for the tendons once more while the guy Levi didn't know swerved upward. Suddenly, the titan spun around, its arms swinging wildly, and smacked the guy hard enough to send him flying. Levi froze and shot Petra a look. 'You take care of this. I'm going to go after him.' Petra nodded and Levi shot off in the direction where the guy went flying. Levi found him leaning against a tree, his body battered and broken. Levi went to retrieve his body when the man spoke. "C-Captain…" he rasped. "Did I do well?"
Levi knelt down and looked at him. "You did very well. I couldn't have wished for more."
The man struggled to look at Levi. "I-I w-was looking forward to heading h-home after this mission. I h-had an argument w-with my father this morning and I was r-ready to ap-apologize. I h-hope you can tell him I'm s-sorry…"
Levi grasped his hand. "Of course I will. A soldier brave enough to join the Survey Corps deserves as much."
Levi picked up his dead body and began to walk back with it. It was too difficult to use the 3DMG with a dead body in tow. After a few minutes, the rest of the group caught up with him. The cheerful mood from capturing the titan quickly diminished as Levi set the man's dead corpse on a wagon.
Levi briskly got on his horse and led the group back to Wall Rose. There, Levi instructed the Survey Corps deliver the remaining titan to Hange while he went and attended to something.
Levi headed toward Erwin's quarters. He needed to find out what the soldier-who-died's name was.
He knocked on Erwin's door briskly before being allowed in. "Erwin, I need to find out someone's name."
"Do you have a photograph of that person or something to give me an indication of who that person is?" Erwin replied.
"I have a corpse," Levi answered darkly.
"Well, where is it?" Erwin asked.
Levi dragged in the dead body and put it in a chair. Erwin looked at it for a moment. "His name's Joshua Layden. His family lives on the North Side."
"Great," Levi said. He picked up the body and started dragging it with him to the North Side. After a few painstaking hours, he found Joshua Layden's house.
He knocked on the door to find an aging man. "Excuse me," the man said.
Levi presented the body. "Here."
The old man took it slowly, staring at it emptily in shock.
"He told me to tell you that he was sorry. He was a soldier until the end."
The man shut the door, leaving Levi to feel the guilt and shame running down through him.
Levi headed back to his room, just wanting to go to sleep. No matter how many times it happened, Levi still couldn't get accustomed to all the casualties the Survey Corps suffered. It still pierced his heart deeply whenever someone died. But he tried not to show it. Mourning was not a part of his facade. Of course, not all the officers were so happy about that. Levi remembered clearly how often he was accused of not caring. What they never knew was just how much he cared. How he cared for all of them.
Levi was just falling asleep when he heard someone knocking on his door. Petra opened the door and poked her head through. "Excuse me, Captain, would you like some water?"
Levi shook his head groggily in reply.
Petra's expression softened into a wistful look. Without requesting permission, she sat on the bed next to Levi and looked down at her lap. "It hurts, doesn't it?" she murmured. "We lose people almost every day. It must sadden you."
Levi stiffened. "No more than the next person. It is not a soldier's duty to mourn."
Petra looked at him. "That's what you may say, but I see that you're hurting. You care and you don't like it at all when someone dies. You just pretend otherwise to look like how everyone else sees you."
Damn, Levi thought. How does she see past my facade so easily? "What you're saying is a load of bullshit," he said. "I just am who I am. I'm not faking for anyone."
Petra gently slid her hand over his. "Stop trying to deny it," she told him. "And anyway, I'm not telling you to stop, I'm just telling you that I can see what you're doing." She smiled at him. "And I think it's brave of you to do such a thing for everyone." She gently kissed him on the lips before he could react. Levi instinctively snaked his arm around her, pushing her closer to him. She broke off and grinned at him. "Bet that made you feel better!" She left the room.
Levi found himself smiling as he gazed where she left the room. Maybe I don't always have to play this facade. Outloud, he said to himself, "She's the only one that can see through my facade."
Fin
