It's me again, Ms. Sakura. This is my first Free fanfiction. It was written in an hour, for an end of summer drabble. This story is for my grandma, who yes, used to read my gay fanfictions all the while with a smile on her face. She never stopped supporting me, no matter what. I hope you enjoy.


He loved water, but he hated tears. He hated the way they blurred his vision, the waves of his despair crashing up against his heart. When he entered the pool, the smooth, chlorine filled water was supposed to blend into his tears and take them all away, but that didn't happen this time. He turned over on his back, his flat toned chest poking through the surface of the water. He breathed slowly, in and out, his mind replaying last night again and again.

"Rin." His voice came out monotone as always, but inside, he was screaming. "Where have you been?"

Rin had showed up an hour late, with a small overnight bag in hand. "I-I..." Rin stuttered, searching for excuses, his firey eyes now looked diluted.

"I ask you to come over immediately and this is what you do? My grandma died Rin." Haruka paused, his eyes glistening with the water he hated most. "I thought you were coming sooner."

"Haruka, listen-" He reached out an arm, only to have it slapped away.

"No Rin, just no." Haruka raised his head up, dignity in his every movement, even with streams of tears staining his chiseled cheek bones. "I-I can't do this right now. Get out."

"Haruka, I-"

"Stop it Rin!" Haruka's eyes swirled around, churning with storm-clouds of doubt. He walked over to the couch, flinging himself down on it.

On the table was the last letter he sent to his grandma, confessing his love for Rin, how much he adored his every movement, every breath. So much for that. At least his grandma could remember him happy, even though it was a brief moment in time.

"Rin, do you...do you know how happy I was about us finally being together?"

Rin silently sat next to Haruka, listening intently.

"You're all I ever talked about. She never, doubted me, she accepted me, no matter what." Haruka's voice cracked. "I was so happy." His silken hair shone in the dim light as he lowered his head into his hands.

He could feel Rin's shaking fingers comb through his locks. "I'm so sorry Haruka. I tried to get here, I swear I did. The pressure is getting to me, to be the best swimmer in Japan. I needed more practice. I need help. I just.. I..." Rin felt the horrible feeling Haruka had felt, when tears rose in his eyes. "But please, I need you." Haruka finally looked up, ocean blue eyes locking with cinnamon ones.

"I love you." Rin confessed, his arms pulling Harkua in tightly, as if he squeezed hard enough, the pain would evaporate from Haruka's body.

Haruka continued to weep into Rin's shoulder, he shook but Rin held him still, anchoring him even through the tsunami of grief that was destroying all that was inside him. When he got a moment, he was able to pull Haruka's head up, wiping away tears and laying lips upon his forehead.

"Do you want some tea?"

Haruka nodded weakly. Rin laid his head down a pillow while he went into the kitchen, spooning out the fragrant smells of spices and blossoms. The sweet smell of delicate flowers tickled Haruka's nose, drawing back memories of his grandmother, who had been just as beautiful as those flowers. Haruka spent many a day with her in his youth, his parents where always away, just as they were now. Him and his grandma had a bond that time, distance, and silence could never erase.

"Haruka?" Rin prodded him to sit up, gently easing his mouth open, he dumped a little of the warm tea down his aching throat. "Haruka? Talk to me.." Rin's fingers trailed down his face, leaving warmth in their wake.

"You don't need to do this, Rin." Haruka croaked.

"Why wouldn't I? You were always there for me, when my dog Ibuki died when I was 12, when my mom and dad got divorced, when I was too far into my depression to turn back. You were there at every dead end of the road, with your arms wide open to me. Please, let me do the same for you."

Suddenly Haruka was being held again, his thick ebony hair was being gently stroked again. His eyes fluttered closed, a few tears still managing to trail down his face, dropping into Rin's crimson hair.

"Haruka. I love you."

"You already said that."

"I know, but I need you to know."

"I know Rin." Haruka sighed, his hands, against his own will, clinging ever so slightly to Rin's back. "I-I love you too."

Rin smiled softly, reminding Haruka of childhood, reminding him of the old swim club, laughter, and trust. The water and his friends had dissolved all his problems in the summer sun. How he wished he could go back, how he wished he could capture those memories in a jar and unscrew the lid and watch the moment again when his heart was aching.

Haruka's hands reached up, tracing the surface of Rin's soft lips. He wasn't surprised when he could feel Rin pushing back against his fingers. Rin closed his eyes for a moment, only to have them snap back open, burning like a fireplace in the dead of winter. Rin was his warmth. Rin was his home. Haruka's hand was pushed away as their lips met.

The feeling was supposed to be the same as it always was, but it wasn't. It was as if the warmth of childhood was captured in between their slowly mingling lips, just like diving into the soothing temperature of the pool when the sun had been shining upon it for hours. It was all there on Rin's lips.

When Rin dug deeper and tasted the inside of Haruka's mouth, it was as if he was falling deeper into the past. He was enveloped in the scent of Rin, the heat of his skin, and the pulse of his body. Rin pulled Haruka to lay on top of him, nuzzling his neck with his nose, placing chaste kisses wherever he felt the need.

When Haruka could no longer hold himself above Rin, he collapsed on top of him, listening to the sound of his lungs shift underneath him. His heartbeat was steady and melodic, it was the greatest song he had ever heard.

"Do you remember the first swim practice your grandma ever came to?" Rin inquired, his voice resonating through Harkua's skull.

"Not really."

Rin laughed softly. "She was covered in pink. Even a pink parasol to shield herself from the sun. She cheered you on like you were a champion, even though you really never cared about winning. Afterwords, she showered you with so many nice words, I was sure you would've developed some giant ego from her praise but you simply smiled and accepted her tender compliments. There are not a lot of times where I ever saw you so happy." Rin's hand traced circles along Haruka's back.

"No one ever loved me like my grandma did." Haruka began with his usual monotone voice, "All the love I had ever received was standoffish and cold, like my parents. We were a family that never displayed such things. But, my grandma, was never like that. Hugs and kisses all the time, always." Haruka reached up, kissing Rin's cheek softly. "Just like that."

Rin cocked a ruby eyebrow, "Wait, how?"

"Like this." Haruka repeated the action.

"One more time?"

"No Rin."

Rin leaned down and stole his breath away with another kiss anyways. Haruka found himself almost asleep in the crux of Rin's protruding collar bone with Rin spoke again.

" I know how your grandma felt. It's so easy to love you unconditionally."

"Rin..." Haruka sighed his name against his smooth skin, tears trailing ever so slowly down his face once more.

As he fell asleep in Rin's arms that night, he was both fascinated and comforted by one thing, the beating of their hearts.