STELM: Ladies and gents, fanfictioneers from all across the globe. This is the beginning of a short collabo taking place during a spring break that'll change the lives and end the lives of party goers, gangsters, and drug pushers.

Rated M for Extreme Violence, Strong Language, Sexual Content, Drug and Alcohol Refrence, Graphic Scenes, and general mayhem!

I couldn't have done this without Flawlesssierra who has a kick ass GTA fanfic you should definetily check out!

Before we start remember to R&R!

Now onto the STORY...


The Break, The Fall

Easter Eve

-Joey Cooper-

Joey opened his eyes.

Animal shit, that's what his living arrangements smelt like. Who knew shit had different smells to it? In any case the barn house was no Fertility Manger and if Joey didn't get his ass outta here then he'd be pitch forked to death by the incest-born animal fucker that ran this place.

Joey Cooper was on the run, on the lam, dodging the law. He had reached the outskirts of Sunbelt City and had a choice to either pay thousands of dollars for a Mexican Cartel to aid his safe passage through the Sunbelt storm drain system and to the other side of the border or to travel back to his hometown, Vice City. If he was back out he might as well finish business back home.

The choice wasn't too hard to come up with. All he'd get in Mexico was more of this farmhouse shit, probably some drug running for the Cartel that helped him get over. They'd probably pay the Vice City raised man a couple pesos less than their brown friends and he'd ended up either getting popped over coca or locked up and sent back to the America so Cooper could finish out his sentence.

Cooper was buried deep in his own thoughts when he heard some ungainly laughter coming in from the outside of the barn house. The laughter and conversation were getting louder as the tense seconds went by. Almost instinctively Cooper clamped up. His body was frozen still; his shallow breaths were almost invisible and completely silent to an onlooker or passerby.

Cooper thought, hey why the fuck am I hiding from these guys? I mean I need a car if I'm going to make it to Vice so why not jump these guys and take their keys? Then reality set in. Joey was hungry, tired from the two hours of sleep, the miles of running, and he was poorly equipped. All he had was his shank from the prison. Joey knew that the basic rule for farmers were that being weak in wasn't an option and that the older farmer would be no shrinking violet with his pitchfork or whatever weapon that he may be holding on him.

So Joey just lay there still under mounds of hay. He heard the farmhouse door open with the farmer and father check on their animals. Joey waited there for over an hour. The father and son talked about how they were going to stop screwing the animals to keep them clean for sale. The son also told his paternal figure about his run in with a local biker gang about him selling crystal on their turf. The father explained how he had similar narcotic slinging situation in his golden years. The men did a bit more preparatory work for later on and they left for the breakfast bell. With them gone Joey revealed himself.

The animals made little noise and the noise they did make could probably be caused by a rodent or just simple animal unrest. Joey would take that chance, plus according to the farmer's apprentice, "Ain't nobody could get up from a plate of mama's grits!"

The convict searched the barn house for anything that could be of use. Finding nothing he left. As soon as he left the barn house he could smell the famous "mama's cooking". Joey could smell the grits, eggs, bacon, sausage, and milk acres from the barn house. Even over the shit that ruined his shirt and had ridden the unkempt barn house.

"Fuck it." Joey said to himself as he ran towards the entrance of the barn and kicked the double doors wide open. Joey looked over the area and my a mad dash towards the red truck that the countrymen owned. After sloppily covering acres of grass and some of the failed plots of planting ground Joey heard some panic from inside the house.

"What the hell you think…" Was all Joey heard before he heard the revving up of an engine.

The convict looked back to see the younger farmer revving up his four-wheeler, a 19 gauge shotgun in tow. The father had ran back in the house.

It was too late to turn back. With the momentum of his run Cooper ran his elbow into the fragile glass of the old red truck. The glass broke and Joey let himself in. The convict used his shank to pop out the ignition. His extensive knowledge of cars coming from his high school class in automobile repair, plus his criminal background that got him in jail in the first place gave him the knowledge to hot wire the vehicle no time shorter than five seconds.

The engine roared to life immediately yet the wily convict found himself in a predicament. The truck was a manual.

"Damn." Joey exclaimed as he began to toy with the stick shift. One of his older criminal partners had taught him how to operate the gear shift as soon as he got his restricted license, but Joey had a high preference for automatics.

The truck lurched forward as the career criminal began to escape. The four-wheeler manned by the younger son was speeding like a bullet behind him. He needed to lose him somehow…

So Cooper slammed the brakes. The son, not fully aware of the truck's halt due to the teenage farm boys daily dose of moonshine, chewing tobacco, and maybe meth, and charged right into the flat-bed. He squeezed the trigger accidentally as he dismounted the four-wheeler. The shells hit an oak tree and the shotgun flew out his hands.

Joey stood there and contemplated driving over the boozed up boy before he saw a red dot appear in his car. What the hell?

POOOOOOWWW

A .308 tore up the passenger's side of the truck, destroyed most of the right glass windows, and hit the airbag which was so old and outdated all it did was pour out into the passenger seat. Cooper didn't hesitate; he ran over the teenage farm boy without another thought and heard the cracks of the bone underneath tons of heavy metal.

Now that heavy metal was on his mind he turned the radio on and flipped through stations until he heard the sweet sweet sounds of Metallica. He roared down the dirt roads of the small country outside Sunbelt. He had been over 80 for a few miles until he reached the high way and hit 100.

-Mercedes-

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

There was the wake-up call that Mercedes had grown painfully familiar with. She slamed her fist on the alarm clock to cease the noise and slowly drug herself out of bed. The clock read 4:43 pm. It was a long night of work last night."I better get up. I hate sleeping in so late." she thought to herself. It had been a month since Mercedes had moved to her new home in Vice City. She hasn't always been so used to being alone all the time. This in fact was her first move from her parents' house back in Liberty City. Mercedes has never been too fond of being alone this much. She actually never really wanted to move but the pressure and criticism from her whole family had finally gotten to her. To her parents, even her younger siblings were of much more caliber than her, and they never forgot to point that out. At the O'Leary house it was always "Why don't you get a real job?" or, "You need to try harder!" and sometimes, "You're never going to get far in life!" sercedes knew she would never be cut out to meet her parents' high standards, and she was okay with that. She was never interested in having that kind of life. However, there were some things she has always been exceptionally good at things her parents would definitely never approve of.

The streets of Algonquin may be filled with posh, savvy business people but behind them are the corrupted and crooked drug dealers. Working in the drug ring around the streets of Liberty City has been a way of life for Mercedes as long as she can remember. As long as business was plentiful, life was good. With the help of her cousins Patrick, Derrick, and Gerald she was able to get in good with some of the main dealers, make some friends, and build a great reputation to draw in more employers. Since she was moving, she would be leaving all of that behind. She would have to start all over with new streets, new dealers, and no friends.

Elizabeta Torres has tried to help out any way she could by making a few calls and arranging things for Mercedes as far as work goes. "I know some people in Vice City that can hook you up with some good shit, and alot of money. You will have absolutely nothing to worry about!" Elizabeta said. Mercedes and Elizabeta were best friends. They drank together, did coke together, and told each other everything. Elizabeta has always been a very good ally and boss, and as Mercedes being one of her youngest accomplices she always took extra care to look out for her. Mercedes gets out of bed and as she stood up she received a text.

Don't forget about the party tonight. You BETTER be there, bitch! ;) -Rosa

How could she forget? She had been reminding Mercedes about it every day all week. Rosa was just your everyday bubbly bimbo. She's the average loud Italian meatball. Mercedes had met her just a few days after she moved to Vice City at a random club one night. Rosa was drunk out of her mind (as usual) stumbling around, laughing hysterically as she bumped into Mercedes. Rosa then started a conversation that seemed never-ending. Of course she was obnoxious and annoying, but Mercedes wasn't really in any position to pass up an opportunity to make a friend. So now every time there's going to be a huge party in town, not only does Rosa hear about it, Mercedes hears about it multiple times every day. Rosa's life basically consists of drinking, partying, some more drinking, and sleeping.

Mercedes texts back: Ok, thx. I needed to know that for the 50th time. Just chill. -M

Mercedes decided to walk out to the nearest hotdog stand for a bite to eat and went back in to shower. By the time she had gotten ready for the night it was nearly 7pm. She recieved another text. Change of plans.

Can I ride with you? pweeaase!? -Rosa

Sure. I'm coming to get you now. Be ready. -M

Later that day in Vice City…

-Joey Cooper-

"A lot has changed since you got locked up Coop. It's not the same hood anymore. A lot of these guys forgot you man. They don't remember you as Joey the friendly neighborhood stoner; you're just somebody who fell off." Jason, one of the many friends Cooper gained during his rise to the top, said explaining the current state of affairs in the city.

"The Haitians still working the streets?" Cooper asked; the several allied gangs of Haitians aligned themselves in their hate for Joey Cooper.

"Hell yah and with a vengeance. Any piece of ass walking down their streets they rape. Any piece of shit with wheels rolling through their avenues they jack. Any dope dealer who's not paying taxes to somebody else or with one of their gang alliance gets taxed heavy. Any pig who tries to stop them finds his daughter missing. Anybody tries to start-up a small business gets extorted with no late payments. Any gang who thinking they can do something about it gets baker's dozen of hot and ready automatic bullets at the convenience of their own home." Jason explained, now out of breath. Joey's red face revealed his hateful passion towards the Haitians.

"What about the Cubans?" Cooper asked laying back in his friend's apartment couch. The guy's girlfriend was away at work and he had just ate two magic brownies, he gave Cooper two others out of the batch. Joey Cooper gave him an hour to thirty minutes until he'd have to go before the guy started getting to high for comfort. Jason was never able to hold his THC too well. Coop had well earned his reputation as a chronic smoker, no pun intended.

"They're busy trying to ship in big shipments of coca. Spring Breaks coming up this week and the beaches are gonna be swarmed with snow bunnies who're gonna wanna try something new. So the Cubans come in all friendly and rob the college kids with either some bunk blow or some low potentency trash. So they end up winning in any situation." Jason explained the Cuban situation. It was funny how the two races controlled the Vice City underworlds for so long. Yardies only began to move in with the Haitians when Cooper got locked up.

"So the Cubans are making the most money." Cooper stated bluntly. That's what kept the Vice City street lights on. Once that was light cut off the aftermath wasn't pretty.

"Hey man ever since Vercitte croaked it's been like that. Should be safe this week as long as no spring breakers try any funny shit and try to run off from a deal before paying." Jason explained.

"You wanna take a few bong hits while we waiting for this other shit to kick in?"

"Hell yah"

8 bong hits later...

The weed had just hit and damn it hit. Somehow the radio had gotten turn on and Drug Money by Yo Gotti turned on and his head bobbed to it. Joey hated shit like this sometimes. The high would kick in too soon and he'd fuck up and look already high, like rookie.

For some reason Cooper wanted to leave so he said "excuse me" and left. This high was coming on too sick. Joey stumbled out the door thinking about how hungry he was as he led himself to his car. The walk felt like years and years had went by, damn.

When he got to the spot where he had parked his truck he realized that someone had stolen it. Just Great. What a way to welcome me back Vice.

Cooper waved down a taxi as one passed Jason's apartment building. That piece o' shit needed to burn, like plywood paper. That's how Cooper thought some times. Things just had to die for some reason he was always around the fire that spent the lives of many other people in the "life".

Cooper threw his high ass on the taxi and ordered whatever rap station existed on the universe and the taxi man laughed understanding somehow the stoned stupor Cooper had gotten himself in. What the fuck, this shit was rolling?

Next thing you know Cooper was singing Justin Timberlake and being told to pay for the ride. He threw the taximan a twenty and fled the transport car. It was a long fleed, or whatever Cooper was thinking in his head. It felt like he was in a video game but in real life this time. Like Hokeymon.

-Mercedes-

By the time she drove to the end of Devine street, Mercedes' phone began to ring. She picked it up and answered, "UGHH, What is it Rosa? I'm driving to your place right now!"

"Rosa? Honey, don't you ever check your caller ID before answering? It's me, Elizabeta!"

"Oh, I'm sorry about that." Mercedes said instantly a little embarrassed

"A whole month in Vice City and you already sound like you're on edge. What's wrong, chick?"

"Nothing, I've just been very busy lately I guess. I'm still trying to adjust to everything."

"I see. So who is this Rosa you speak of? Is she your new friend? You better not be trying to replace me now, doll!" Elizabeta said in a playful tone.

"Ah, she's just this crazy Italian broad that I met at one of the clubs a few days after I got here. I guess you could call her a friend, and you know that nobody could ever replace you Lizzy!" Mercedes replied.

"Mmmhmm! That's right! Well, I just thought I'd call and see how things are going for you and catch up on things with you a bit, but it seems like you're kind of busy right now. You better call me soon so we can chat it up!"

"Will do! Talk to you later Liz!" The two hung up and Mercedes had finally made it to Rosa's.

Mercedes opened the door and let herself into Rosa's apartment. "Rosa? You ready?" she yelled as she walked into the living room.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm ready. Thanks again for the ride. You're a real pal." Rosa said.

"It's not a problem, but, what happened to your car? I didn't see it out front."

"You see, my asshole of a brother likes to borrow things without asking first. I walk out to leave for the party and notice my car isn't there. So I freak! I call everyone, I call my momma, I call my poppa, I call my sister, and then I get a call from-guess who! Ricky! He's so dumb! SO dumb! He says he needs to borrow my car for a few days and that he's sorry for not asking me before taking the damn thing! What a bum! So du-"

"Okay, I get it. Let's get out of here already." Mercedes said cutting her off.

The two girls got in the car and drove off. As they pulled into the long driveway of the house, Mercedes exclaimed,"Geez! This place is a fucking mansion!".

"I know, right? I've been to this place a few times before. It's a lot of fun. There's always tons of beer and tons of dope. Not to mention the fact that places like this are usually filled with some great looking guys." Rosa said.

"I'll be the judge of that." Mercedes says with a smirk. As soon as they walked in the door, Rosa had wandered off.

Probably looking for the alcohol. Mercedes thought. She always hated when Rosa had left her stranded in public places like this. She was still new to the city for cripes sake!

"Well, I guess I'm on my own..." Mercedes thought as she walked on in to mingle with the wasted strangers surrounding her.

Mercedes had approached a group of guys she had found attractive and greeted them with a "Hey boys!".

They kinda just stood there for a second each with a drink in hand and looked at her up and down and then back at each other until one of the guys said "Honey, please tell me those shoes are a joke!"

"Those just do not work! No no no no!" another one said. Leave it to Mercedes to spot out and hit on the only gay guys at the party.

Great, just great! Mercedes thought as she rushed away in embarrassment. She looked across the crowd of people to see a girl dancing on a table half-naked. People were surrounding the table cheering her on. Then Mercedes realized. It was Rosa. It never takes her very long to get completely shit-faced.

Mercedes thought about going up to her but decided not to. "Well, I'll come back for her later." She thought as she turned around and stumbled into someone. It was a woman about 6 feet tall, bulky, scary, and huge.

"Watch where you're going, bitch!" the woman said in a snarky mean tone as she shoved her to the side.

Mercedes' night has already started to go terrible very fast. She was starting to think she shouldn't have come at all. She wished she were back in Liberty City with Elizabeta. Lizzy would have showed that hulky bitch a thing or two, she thought. Mercedes can fight, but not someone who is 2 times bigger than she is. It's not like she could have dealt with her by using her AK-47 like she usually does when running into people like that. She was in a public and unfamiliar place with tons of people everywhere. She would have been dead in a second. Out of much distress and frustration, Mercedes rushed over to the bar and beer keg. She downed shot after shot and soon she started to forget why she was upset.

She was drunk. I'm going to have a fucking great time tonight! She thought. She then suddenly gained a lot of 'Dutch courage' from the alcohol and started to walk back out towards the crowd of people conversating with each other relentlessly so she could be a part of them and finally fit in.

-Joey Cooper-

Jason had called to tell him about a party in the middle of his ride to another one of his friend's house. That's where he changed his direction to, this mansion party... As he stumbled up to the property he realized that this was a BIG mansion. Some scary shit, the music inside the house was only accepting Joey's already tsunami sized buzz.

He stumbled into the party seeing several other people who were probably high off coke or the bomb shit Joey was on. Either that or they were drunk. As soon as he started walking up the steps Joey felt himself began to tip over, he controlled himself and walked in the mansion trying to act as un-high as physically possible.

Cooper was glad he had that kid, Jason. That was his man… he gave him some clothes and some fifty dollars in his pocket. Plus he got Cooper high. The budilicous brownies were in full swing when Juicy J's She Dancin' came on.

"She dancing like she fuckin', she dancing like she fuckin'. The way lil' mama dancin' you would swear lil mama fuckin'!" As soon as the song came on drunk black girls in booty shorts or colorful leggings started twerking on the closest guy to them. White girls tried to their best, they tried good, real good.

Joey found himself with some latina chic with hair that went down to her waist. Her naturally bowling ball sized ass outlined with her smooth black leggings shook smoothly and close to Joey's crotch to the beat of the music. She bent over and her ass moved even faster, to the high Joey, this was the best time he ever had in Jupiter, or whoever mansion this planet belonged to. What?

The Latina danced on him for the whole song, Joey doing his best to keep up with the Hispanic chic. Joey had practice, it made perfect. He couldn't help but be greedy; he hadn't felt a woman in years. Cooper needed to get hammered and send a ho to hammertown with her pink designer bags and shit. That's what his THC addled brain told him anyway.

The young Cooper walked through the thick crowd and was immediately "forced" to chug off some glass sculpture. Some girl in spread eagle position, Joey didn't have to wonder where the liquid would come out. He was wasted two ways to Sunday in seconds. He was about to go to the dance area when some blonde came up to him and asked him if he wanted to take a little trip. The drunk and coked up blonde didn't listen to Joey when he asked where they were going. She just pulled him close in a drunk tonguing and somehow she forced something in his mouth.

Joey swallowed.

"I'm a molly girl. Welcome to molly world."

Fireworks. Psshhhh!

The ganja was bopping to the beat. The alcohol was spinning around the beat, and the molly just strapped C4 to the beat, blew it up, pieced it back together, put it in a dutch oven, and raped its kids. Joey was describing the beat, flipping it over in his mind like fresh pancakes. Yummm.

My early munchies was distracted by some dubstep that just came on. The toxins in Joey Coopers got him into a highly nostalgic mode when TrapZillas Burned came on. Joey started to have a flashback back to when Joey had a white skinhead stoner cellmate who liked to listening to this type of shit sober, but some drunk VCU frat boys started to hop up and down and start a mosh pit. These situations would have been extremely deadly in prison but the toxins going through Joeys body caused him to just go with the flow and rave as well.

"Turn the fuck up! Bitch!"

The party had just started.


STELM: Well friends, fans and fanfictioneers alike you have finished readign the first of a collaborative fic between me and Flawlesssierra. Check her GTA fic out, it's so dope you might as well put it in your pipe and smoke it!

Now onto the parodies. Hokeymon is a spoof on the popular Pokemon trading cards and TV series. VCU is Vice City University which can be spoofed into Miami University. A school I'm actually considering applying too.

Well you've been flawless, I've been STELM. Flawlesssierra will always stay stupid flawless!

Read and Review! Flame to your hearts content.