A/N: Yes, this actually happened...i play the role of Fayt, my pervy cousin plays the role of Albel, and poor cousin joey plays the role of Cliff. Poor Joey..i think we traumatized him for life.

Disclaimer: This is based on a true story, but it didn't happen to the actual characters. And don't ask me where they go ahold of those sweets.

Cliff Fittir was not the type to eavesdrop, but sometime the occasion called for it. And it was terribly hard to ignore raised voices. He had been walking along, minding his own business when he heard the voices coming form the kitchen so he had stopped to listen.

"It isn't working, fool," Albel complained.

"It will," Fayt assure him. "I've done this before. Just stick the gummy worm into the hole."

"It won't fit," Albel growled.

"Okay, here's what you have to do. You need to get your worm wet. It'll slide in easier."

"Will licking it work?"

"Yeah, as long as you get it all soft and slimy."

Albel chuckled. "Enough, fool. I know how to do it."

There was a slight pause and then Fayt said indignantly. "Hey, that's my gummy worm! Leave it alone, sicko!"

Albel snorted. "Gummy worms are gummy worms."

"That's really gross. You don't lick someone else's gummy worm."

"Why not? They're all the same."

"Because-well, never mind. Arguing with you is pointless. Why'd you want to lick mine anyway? You've got your own."

"I wanted to see what yours tastes like."

Fayt sounded amused. "So, what have you decided?"

"It tastes sweet, just like you."

"Aw, Albel-"

"Sickeningly sweet," Albel interrupted him.

Fayt laughed. "Then stop sucking on it."

"Can't," Albel said calmly, his voice garbled around his full mouth. "It tastes too good."

Fayt shrieked with laughter and there was a loud clanging noise. "Stop Albel! I can't breathe!"

"Why not? I'm nowhere near your mouth."

"Because you're making me laugh."

"You aren't laughing, fool," Albel said scornfully. "You're giggling."

"I don't giggle," Fayt said indignantly. "Only girls giggle."

The loud crashing noise made Cliff cringe. Fayt burst out laughing again. "Albel, that tickles! Don't touch me there!"

"Stop laughing, fool, or I'll cut something off," Albel threatened.

"No! Not my gummy worm!"

"Then be serious!" Albel ordered. It was quiet for a moment and then Albel began grumbling. "Bah, stupid whatever it is hole."

"We call it a lifesaver." Fayt started laughing again but he quickly cut himself off.

"Really?" Albel seemed intrigued. "It can't save anyone's life. It's just fun to play with."

"And it's fun to lick," Fayt added.

"You lick this too? Do you have to taste everything on your planet?"

Fayt voice lowered conspiratorially but Cliff could still barely hear it. "You know what else we call a lifesaver? A woman's hole."

"Neither of us are girls," Albel growled.

"You're right. It's just us here. I shouldn't spoil the moment. Want to try again?"

"Yes, I just wish you had a larger lifesaver. It would make things easier."

"I can't help it," Fayt said morosely.

"Of course not. It was given to you. You had no choice."

"Perhaps if you licked it, it would make the hole bigger," Fayt suggested.

Albel chucked dryly. "Ha, it's actually working. You were right. This does feel good. I feel better already."

"I told you so," Fayt said triumphantly. "Come on, Albel! Push!"

Cliff had heard enough. He burst in the door looking like he had seen a ghost. Still breathing heavily, he looked around the room. Fayt was in the process of biting off the head of a red and green gummy worm and Albel was threading an orange worm through the hole in a cherry lifesaver. Both of them looked up at Cliff in surprise.

"damn it!" Cliff growled, clapping a hand to his forehead. Looking embarrassed, he quickly ran out of the room.

"What's wrong with him?" Fayt asked.

Albel shrugged. "He's being a bloody idiot as usual."

Fayt brightened. "Are you hungry for worms?"

Albel smirked. "Always." With one deft motion of his sword, he decapitated the orange worm.