Believe it or not, I'm not dead! I'm still writing a lot, though I post more on Tumblr these days. ^_^ This is a little one-shot I wrote for my friend Ann, ann-kouhai or Tumblr, for her birthday.
Title: Simplicity
Words: 1808
Summary: When Lucy finds Natsu confused with his own emotions, she tries to help him. Little does she know that he would be the one helping her in the end. (High school AU)
Enjoy!
I walked out of the double doors, backpack slung over one shoulder. I sighed as I slowly passed the school tennis courts, close to the exit. I counted each tree along the path as I passed them. My routine every day. Leave the council room, grab my backpack, walk outside and count the trees. Since I can't expect anything from life, familiarity is nice.
Past the tennis courts lie the basketball courts. Past the basketball courts is the exit. The thought of going home sped my steps, the breeze frigid against my skin. It was getting dark already.
As I passed, I couldn't help glancing at the basketball courts. The reddish sky differed so much from the bright, illuminated sky that I'm used to seeing the basketball team play in. Many of my friends play on the school team, dribbling and shooting up and down those lines. Watching them play can be fun, but the in the emptiness you wouldn't be able to tell. It's really empty, I thought with a sigh.
I stopped.
Not completely empty.
I couldn't control my own movement as I walked onto the court. Why am I coming here? He probably wants to be alone. I thought to myself frantically. I couldn't stop myself.
Natsu Dragneel, my best friend, was sprawled out on the court, backpack flung to the side. He stared at the clouds with a sort of blank expression.
I set my backpack next to his and lied down next to him.
"Hey."
"Hey yourself." I replied, then paused. "You alright?"
"Lisanna and I broke up," came his response.
I winced. "I heard." I paused again. "Does it hurt?"
"That's why I'm here. It doesn't. At all." he replied. "Shouldn't it? Was I leading her on? Were we always meant to be 'just friends'?"
I raised an eyebrow, though he couldn't see. "Wow, these are really grown-up questions from you."
He grunted noncommittally. "I'm not stupid you know." he complained.
I laughed. "I know. But didn't she break up with you? How would you have been leading her on?"
He sighed and I turned to watch him shrug. "I think I thought the happiness of being with a childhood friend who I've missed were romance feelings. And they weren't."
He turned to me, waiting for a reaction. As I faced him, I nodded. He smiled with an air of melancholy as we stared at each other. The breeze kicked in, yet my heart felt colder than my skin. His sadness was always my tragedy. It's comforting to remember he feels that way about me, too.
"Why is this stuff so hard and confusing?" he sighed. He closed his eyes slightly, so I let my eyes flutter close while thinking about his complaint.
I snorted, finally giving him a reply. "I doubt anyone knows that, Natsu."
He pouted. We turned back towards the slowly darkening sky. "What about you?"
"What about me?" I asked.
"We haven't talked much. Ever since Lisanna came back three months ago." he told me. I grimaced. So he had noticed. "Did you really think I wouldn't notice that my best friend started getting distant from me?"
That's what I was hoping...why did I come here again? I tried to come up with some response. "Um...uh, well...I..." I rambled oh-so-intelligently. I cursed in my mind. I'm an idiot.
"Wow, you must really think I'm an idiot." he muttered. I froze.
"No," I shook my head. "I'm definitely the idiot. Not you. I'm sorry, Natsu."
"Why? Did I do something wrong?" The underlying tones of betrayal in his voice shattered my heart. I felt my stomach clench as the air was sucked from my lungs.
"No, no. No, you did nothing wrong." I whispered. I remember that day like it was yesterday, no matter how cliché that sounds. The day Lisanna surprised us all by coming to class, gaining a reaction out of everyone and anyone who has gone through this school for a while. Me, being new, I didn't know her. I only heard some things from Natsu and the others.
If I had known she was interested in Natsu romantically, I never would've tried to work up the courage to finally confess to him that day.
She confessed to him while I was just around the corner, telling him she had been waiting to confess for two years. The confession in my heart dropped to my toes. I stood behind the lockers, shock coursing through my veins. I was eavesdropping on something I really shouldn't have been. I knew that.
Though I'd like to believe my heartbreak when he told her he felt the same made it alright, if only just that once.
I began to shake. I sat up, my vision blurring. I hid my face in my hands as I felt a single tear run down my face.
For the first time since that day, I felt true shock spread through my body.
Crying? I'm...crying? What? I almost laughed hysterically at the notion. Crying over a boy? Me, Lucy Heartfilia, crying over a boy?
I kept my face hidden, barely muffling my sobs. The sobs kept shaking me, kept racking my body. I heard Natsu shoot up, sitting up to face me.
"Damn, Luce? Are you alright?" he asked, panicked. "I'm sorry I say the wrong things so often, I swear I didn't mean it...please don't cry..."
A rush of hot-headed anger replaced the shock. I looked up, not even self-conscious about my probably messy face. "Don't apologize for something that's not your fault! You didn't even do anything wrong!" I snarled.
"Then why are you mad?" I finally got a good look at his terrified expression. My heart twisted once again. He really, really didn't want me to cry. He was being serious. I fell forward onto his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Don't cry, Luce." he whispered as my tears stained his uniform. To my amusement, I couldn't help thinking how much this reminded me of how we met.
I was in a similar situation. Sitting against the basketball hoop, hugging my knees. The sun was still burning harshly. It was an hour after practice, yet he was just leaving the school. No doubt he'd had detention after basketball. It was my second day and the first time I'd seen him. But he rushed over and asked if I was okay. I had shaken my head no. He sat next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. We sat there silently that afternoon.
The next day, I sat by the basketball hoop again. He came right after practice. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and we stayed like that, watching the shadows move along the blacktop.
Then the next day, we began to talk.
And as I sat here, sobbing into his shoulder, I felt his warm arms remind me he was with me. He had always been. And I was trying to push him away because of my own selfishness, my own cowardice, my own stupidity.
"Natsu..." I whispered, as my sobs eased up. I stopped shaking, the tears stopped flowing. "I know it's too early to say this, and this is the last thing you want to hear, but I should've told you three months ago and I won't wait any longer." The words came easier. With him, the words always flowed like a river after the rain. The sun was still shining, it wasn't getting darker, and everything was sparkling.
"Luce." he whispered back. "I don't want to make you wait."
"I have feelings for you." I stated bluntly. My voice came out a little squeaky, still. My cheeks filled with warmth. "Not just...friends...and I know, I know you probably don't feel the same. But I needed you to know."
Natsu drew back to look at me, eyes wide. I felt my cheeks get even warmer and my eyes dropped to my lap.
"You...like me?" he asked, as if it were impossible to believe. I couldn't even yell at him out of embarrassment, I just nodded. "Is that why you started avoiding me even before Lisanna came back? And throughout the last three months?"
This time, my eyes widened. Back then, I had been too embarrassed to be around him. I had spent the days leading up to then working up the courage to confess.
Then, three months went by.
"You...you noticed?" I stammered.
He chuckled. "I noticed. I notice everything about you, Luce. You like the color pink more than purple. You always use two pencils, one pen and four different highlighters in class. You like strawberry and vanilla more than chocolate. You always wear that necklace with the little key charms because it was your mom's. You go stargazing at least twice a week and love to write as much as you love reading. You mostly get mad when you're either embarrassed or defensive and never hold grudges for more than a week, no matter what anyone did to you. You read in between classes and only put off science homework. Since you quit piano, you only go through the music wing when you're trying to avoid someone. Particularly me."
My eyes were already teary halfway through his rant. "Oh Natsu, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Really, really sorry."
His grin faded into a panicked expression. "Shoot, I didn't mean to make you cry. Gah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...not again..."
"N-No, I'm fine. I'm happy." I sniffled. "I know I forget how much you care, but you never fail to remind me. You're honestly so sweet." I wiped away my stray tears. He leaned forward and put his forehead against mine.
"Never forget it, Luce. I care about you so much more than you'll ever know, and more than I'll ever understand." I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling comfort in the little gesture. He was always making me smile and I really felt stupid now for trying to avoid him all this.
He goes through life with a little grin no matter what, helping everyone around him. He doesn't take nonsense and he cares more about others than himself.
I may not truly understand him, ever.
But if loving Natsu meant that mind-melting warmth and perpetual happiness I felt when our lips met, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
Hope you liked it.
~Phantom-chan
