Notes: So a tad bit later than I meant for it to be up. This first chapter might be a little depressing, the story will have plenty of light super fluffy moments later on, I promise.

It had been a week since the incident. After Jake had lulled Dirk to sleep, he cleaned the up the method of Dirk's special brand of self-harm. Feeling at least partly responsible. He didn't remember Dirk acting like this before their initial break-up. Had he really hurt the boy that much? Was that what this was? He couldn't bring himself to throw Brobot away, Dirk would probably become very upset at the loss of one of his precious robots; and Jake didn't want to test his mental stability right now.

The next morning Jake confronted Dirk about his actions. Asking him how long he had been feeling this way, what had caused it, how he could help. Dirk was reticent not offering any answers, not even looking at Jake. The adventurer couldn't take it, he needed to know what was going on NOW. He grabbed Dirk's face with his hands, forcing the blonde to look him in the eye; demanding an answer. Dirk tried to pull away; but Jake wouldn't let him. Giving him a stern command to tell him what was going on in his head. Jake quickly learned this wasn't the way to handle things. After a couple of silent moments of looking into each other's eyes Jake saw a flash of fear, anxiety and despair; followed by a harsh shove, forcing him to let go of his boyfriend. Dirk took the opportunity to jump up, run into the bathroom, closing and locking the door behind him. Jake could hear retching followed by muffled sobs.

Dirk had avoided him since. The brunette had pushed him too hard to fast, he realized that now. He decided to allow Dirk his space and it's paid off. Little by little he has been returning to a place of communication. The first two days, Dirk had locked himself away with the very robot that incited the whole ordeal. Not talking to Jake despite the many pleas on the outside of the locked door. Jake didn't even think he had eaten in those two days. On day three though, he left the room to root around in the fridge. Jake was more cautious that time. Not touching Dirk, not making any sudden movements; like dealing with a skittish animal. Dirk looked at him. An expression of befuddlement on his face; like he was surprised that Jake was still there, still trying to help, still seeing him as worth the effort. Jake had offered to make him something to eat. The blonde hesitated for a long moment; searching his face; as if looking for some sign of deceit. Finding none, he nodded. Jake couldn't help but brighten a little at the concession and went to work. For the two days proceeding, Dirk started to show his presence around Jake more; one time Roxy came over and upon hearing the knock at the door, Dirk made a beeline for his workshop. However, he did return sometime later after Roxy had left. Baby steps. Jake was getting somewhere. On day six he sneaked into their room when he thought Jake was asleep and slept in their bed. An action that warmed Jake's heart. Finally, on day seven, Dirk appeared in their room as Jake was getting ready for bed. His hair wet; he had taken a shower, that's good, he was feeling a least a little better. Dirk was still laconic, more like he was afraid to say something rather than not having the words as appeared to be the case before. He climbed into bed, facing Jake, the green-eyed boy could tell he wanted contact, but was timorous about initiating any affection between the two. Jake reached out and pulled his boyfriend into his embrace. The prince tensed; Jake whispered in his ear "I've missed our cuddles, please just let me love you a little tonight." Dirk relaxed a little at the words, allowing himself to settle into the hug.

MONDAY:

That was last night. Jake was the first to wake up this morning; Dirk still in his arms. It was nice, it was a wonderful feeling that Dirk would allow him this much contact after such a time when he screwed up royally. He felt Dirk shift some next to him. Their eyes met. Jake didn't ask any questions this time, instead placing his lips gently on his love's trying to convey as much affection as possible.

Dirk reciprocated. Liking the gentleness of the kiss, the feeling of Jake's arms around him. In this exquisitely ephemeral moment, he felt a disconnect from the shattered glass fragments of his thoughts, he had been carefully trying to put back together over the last week. It was a good disconnect though; like for just a few seconds he was allowed to forget his stupid mind, his stupid thoughts, and actions that he was surprised didn't cost him his relationship. They held the kiss for a moment, followed by an eternity, Jake lovingly caressing Dirk's back. It was nice, they were floating; nothing was here but them and the blissful intimacy that was more than a single kiss could ever convey, yet somehow it seemed to transmit their feelings perfectly.

They separated, looking into each other's eyes. Jake couldn't help himself, he missed this so much. He kissed Dirk's cheeks, his forehead, his nose. Doing everything he could to impart just how much the blonde meant to him. Dirk took a few deep breathes, trying not to become overwhelmed by the sensation and the emotion he felt. He loved Jake, he truly did, but there was a constant pressure on his shoulders that said he didn't deserve it. Jake's unrelenting attentions allowed Dirk to let go of that weight a little. They ended up spending all day in bed together. Dirk drifting in and out of consciousness (he had been awake most nights for the past two weeks; Jake could tell from the look of his eyes), while Jake quietly read "30,000 Leagues Under the Sea". Dirk stayed next to him, cuddling into his side even more when he was asleep. Jake learned even more about Dirk from this.

Jake was a heavy sleeper, not much could wake him, so he never knew about Dirk's nightmares. It was so abundantly evident today though. Dirk was muttering something incomprehensible in his sleep. Whimpers and a few tears leaking out. Jake was caught between wanting to watch and see if he could figure out what the dream was about (maybe it related to something in their lives that he could help with) and waking Dirk up so he wouldn't suffer. He settled for tracing reassuring circles into his love's back, shushing him and whispering reassurances into his ear. It seemed to help as Dirk drifted back into a silent sleep, breathing returning to a rhythmic state.

TUESDAY:

Jake had fallen asleep at some point, the book resting on his chest. He looked bleary eyed at his left to find Dirk looking at him. "You're really cute when you fall asleep while reading." Jake simpered. Judging from the half conscious look in the blondes eyes, he just woke up too.

"Come here." The page pulled his prince into a loving cuddle. Kissing the top of his head. Dirk buried his face into Jake's chest, loving the forest scent that flooded his nose. Jake spoke up, "We should bathe."

"Mmmn~" Whether this was an agreement or not Jake was unsure; but he decided to take it as an affirmative statement.

"…Maybe….we could take bath together?"

Dirk was silent for a few seconds. Thinking about it. "…okay." Jake wasn't a fool. He knew Dirk was struggling with depression and the cuddling they did yesterday was by no means a cure. He hoped though, that little by little they could chip away at it together. Dirk was an intensely private person, so going out to the very public alchemitter in the middle of their makeshift town and figuring out how to alchemize some antidepressants wasn't an option right now. He hoped that by encouraging self -care, providing comfort when he could, and helping combat some of Dirk's internal dialogue, whatever it may be; would help.

"Alrighty then, I'm going to go prep the bath." Kissing Dirk a few times before he left, nervous of leaving the boy alone.

Dirk didn't mind though, sometimes he needed a few minutes to work through stuff in his head. The sleep and time with Jake had helped his mood some. He still hated himself, he still felt like he was filled with a cornucopia of heterogeneous adverse thoughts. However, the chasm didn't feel quite as deep today. Even though it still appeared endless…it's like there was hope now, hope that there was a bottom. Jake called him from the bathroom; the blonde forced himself off the bed and made his way to the bath.

They both stripped and climbed into the large tub; the game totally set them up with one of the biggest tubs they had ever seen. Plenty of room for them both to fit comfortably. Jake made his way behind Dirk, shampoo in hand. He worked up a lather and massaged the scalp with his fingertips. Dirk groaned in approval. Unlike last time, he didn't move away. Jake then took some soap, gently cleaning and massaging his back. He loved taking care of Dirk like this; seeing his boyfriend relax and melt into his touch made him feel needed; and a little turned on. He tried to ignore it; with the way Dirk had been feeling he didn't want to pressure him. This was about caring for the most important person in his life; not about sex.

After Jake had finished with Dirk's back; Dirk turned around to shampoo Jake's hair. With all the work he did on robots, his hands were very strong and felt incredible as they worked the shampoo into Jake's hair. Causing the boy to groan at his boyfriends ministrations. Dirk smirked to himself. It felt nice to know that he had this kind of effect on Jake. He moved to the shoulders, working out a little bit of tension that rested there. He looked over the page's shoulder to see the kind of effect he had on his adventurer. Dirk wasn't in the mood for sex; he felt better, but his libido was still at an all-time low. After all of the kindness Jake had given him though, he wanted make his partner feel good. He reached around grasping the appendage. Jake moaned in response. "D-dirk, you don't have to. It's okay." Damn, he was already stuttering.

Dirk kissed his neck in response. Continuing to pump his hand; causing Jake to release sounds of pleasure and approval. Dirk smirked into Jake's neck. "I love you; you've done so much for me. Let me make you feel good, hun." That pet name, why did that pet name always have such a powerful goddamned effect on him. Jake moaned loudly calling Dirk's name as he quickly reached the zenith of his excitement. Embarrassingly quick really; but neither commented. Dirk actually felt quite satisfied that he could create such a reaction from Jake.

FRIDAY:

They had continued to spend their days together. Nurturing the closeness between them. Dirk slowly getting more energy to throw himself into his projects again. He started spending more time in his workshop, however, per Jake's request, he left the door open. He worked on repairing Brobot, the fight had really done a number on him. Jake check on him a couple of times, worried of whatever forced Dirk to fight his robot in the first place would resurface. Thankfully, all he ever found was Dirk working, humming a song. Today, Jake was making Dirk's favorite foods, orange and crème cupcakes, burgers, and fries. When he approached the workshop to let his prince know dinner was ready, he heard a soft voice singing.

"When you were here before

Couldn't look you in the eye

You're just like an angel

Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather

In a beautiful world

And I wish I was special

You're so fuckin special"

Jake stayed hidden, listening to Dirk sing. He had such a lovely voice, there was a hint of sadness, but given the lyrics; Jake could understand why. He debated whether he should stop Dirk. This singing was unlike before; it seemed more a controlled conveyance of emotion rather than an uncontrollable bout of desperation and sadness. If he needed this, if it helped him, Jake didn't want to stop him.

"But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here."

That's not true Dirk you do belong.

"I don't care if it hurts

I want to have control

I want the perfect body

I want the perfect soul

I want you to notice

When I'm not around

You're so fuckin special

I wish I was special"

Wow, this was Dirk. Did he write this? Jake had been with Dirk long enough to know the boy was a perfectionist and controlling in everything he did; even to his own detriment. Still, unlike before there were no tears; no sound of choked sobs that beckoned Jake to interfere. It was a calm melancholy tone that trudged through, marching on without any particular goal or destination. Those last lyrics too. He always notices when Dirk's not around. He's really not that special, Dirk's the special one. Dirk is extraordinary; built robots and created brilliant plans that he could execute on his own. The boy was the most amazing person Jake had ever known, if only he could see it that way.

"She's running out again,

She's running out

She runs run run run."

Okay, the words were "she's", but still, he meant Jake didn't he? Jake ran out on him before; he would never do it again. Was this on of the fears that plagued his dearest's mind? It broke his heart, it clenched at his very soul. He would do everything in his power to make sure Dirk never felt that way again.

"Whatever makes you happy

Whatever you want

You're so fuckin special

I wish I was special"

You are special Dirk, more special than you could ever imagine. You make me so happy, I don't know what ever made me think that I could be happier without you.

"But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doing here?

I don't belong here

I don't belong here."

Jake took a few deep breathes and knocked on the door frame "Dirk, dinner's ready."

Dirk looked up, and gave him a half smile. Progress. Jake may not have liked the song Dirk sang, but it seems to be therapeutic for him. Dirk apparently knew he was listening though, told him he didn't write the song, not to worry about it. Don't take it out of context. It has nothing to do with their relationship. Jake knew though, regardless, the song held Dirk's emotions in that moment.

SATURDAY:

The two were eating breakfast in bed together, courtesy of Jake. "Hey, would you like to go for a walk with me? The fresh air would probably do you some good."

Dirk shifted uncomfortably, he was still feeling pretty vulnerable, not a feeling he liked to put on display. "I don't know."

"Just a short one, please, it'll just be the two of us. I promise."

That was reassuring. "..okay."

Jake beamed, which put a small smile on Dirk's face as well. Leaning over, Jake gave him a tender kiss, slightly upsetting the trays on their laps, but they saved them. Dirk put his aside carefully, moving Jake's aside as well. "We can go soon, cuddles first." Jake simpered, Dirk rarely stated what he wanted, like it would expose him somehow. So, Jake was more than happy to go along with what Dirk needed this minute. He held him close, kissing him, caressing, burying his face in Dirk's neck because his scent was intoxicating, his skin was soft, and seeing him doing better and communicating like this was weird; almost an aphrodisiac for Jake. Like he was special and Dirk would never show this side of him to anyone else.

After a while they pried themselves apart, dressed and went for their walk in the wilderness. Jake chose the least strenuous route, not wanting to tire Dirk out too much. It was a nice flat winding path that eventually lead them to a waterfall. Dirk's eyes lit up; the boy loved water. He loved rain, and the ocean, and this waterfall was incredible. The water depositing into a huge tranquil pool before the water siphoned out to the river. Jake just watched as the blonde's eyes lit up with delight. Dirk took off his shoes, submerging his feet into the surprisingly warm water. Jake joined him, they sat there for a long while; just enjoying the view.

SUNDAY:

It was raining today. Thunder boomed outside, flashes of light danced across the sky. Dirk sat at the window seat in the living room. Window slightly ajar so he could feel the cool breeze and the occasional rain drop. He was there almost from the time he first awoke. A book in his hand. He switched back and forth between reading and weather gazing. Jake was at his own house; which was equipped with a shooting range. He arrived sometime later to find his boyfriend asleep in his seat. Jake wasn't an artist, he didn't have Dirk's drawing skills. But the image before him was beautiful. The gloriously pale boy asleep and peaceful next to a water painted window and churning chaos outside. A gorgeous contrast. He quickly took out his phone (which surprisingly worked in this place; internet, phone calls, everything. Scientifically impossible…but nothing about his life has really made much scientific sense so far, so why bother with a cell phone?); taking several pictures, but not completely capturing the vision before him. He adjusted a few settings and right as he took another picture, a bolt of lightning flashed across the sky. The picture was incredible. The lightning lit up everything, Dirk looked otherworldly, ethereal. He made a note to alchemize a better camera, this wasn't the first time he had found Dirk in an interesting pose; it was unlikely to be his last. And he wanted to freeze these precious moments in time. Today, though, he would have to be happy with what he was able to get. He gently picked Dirk up, surprised that the boy sleeps so soundly during thunder storms, and carried him to their bed.

Notes: So, this story is going to play with form a little bit more than my other stories. There may be some first person perspectives for both Dirk and Jake, some may be journal entries, etc. I'm going to aim for a new chapter once a week and they will each cover one week in their year in purgatory. I am open to any suggestions you guys may have for either sad of happy moments or anything you want them to do. Nothing is nailed down completely. And feedback is always welcome. The other characters will be making appearances later, it's just these first few chapters that are going to be strictly Dirk and Jake.