I CLAIM NO OWNERSHIP OF HELLSING!

Alucard and Seras are sent to the Grand Canyon in America to help with a ghoul problem along the way they meet there Native American guide who has a few tricks up his sleeve...

Alucard: *shouting into Seras's room* POLICE GIRL ARE YOU DONE PACKING YET? IVE BEEN WAITING OUT HERE FOR AN HOUR NOW!

Seras: Yes, master I'll be there momentarily *she begins putting on her make up with a t-shirt that sats "I *heart* USA" and blue jean short-shorts*

Integra: Alucard…you know the only reason I'm letting you go is because there has been a recent zombie infestation and I need you to remember work before….

Alucard: *interrupting her* work before play…. I know master….

Seras: *runs up the stairs* are you ready master? *she says with a very excited smile on her face*

Alucard: yes lets go to the airport police girl….

(Later on the arrive at the airport and Alucard is dressed in casual clothes; he almost looks like a goth kid with black torn jeans, a black hoody that covers his eyes with his long black hair flowing out from under the hood and head phones in his ears.)

*Alucard and Seras are waiting in line to get threw security*

Seras: *very hyper and talking very fast* ohhh master this is gonna be so much fun! Were gonna zip line, and rock climb and go camping in the canyons and….

Alucard: *interrupting Seras* police girl calm down…we have to do our job before we can have any fun…

Seras: *sigh* but master im just so excited can we atleast go to a restaurant when we get there?

Alucard: patients police girl, it took me longer than a few days to fight off the Ottoman Empire when I was still human

Seras: I guess your right…

*the airport metal detector rings loudly when Alucard walks through it*

Security Guard: Sir, I'm gonna need you to...

*Alucard puts him in a trance*

Alucard: It is all okay...

Security Guard: *copying him with his eyes very wide open* It is all okay...

(they later continue on to the plane and fly to America where they land in Arizona)

*walking back from the airport to the hotel*

Seras: master...

Alucard: yes police girl?

Seras: I have a strange feeling about this place...something just doesn't seem right

Alucard: whats the matter police girl? at first you were all excited about this and now your becoming worried?

Seras: I'm sorry it might be a combonation of natures monthly gift and the jet lag...

(they finally make it to the hotel where Seras lays down and crashes while Alucard is talking to Integra about the mission on the phone)

Integra: Alucard your mission is to exterminate zombies from local Native American burial grounds in the area but you cannot do it alone... So I have taken the liberty of hiring you a Native American guide to help you, his name is Ahiga he will help you find the places and guide you through the wilderness

Alucard: yes master, I assure you the mission will be complete

Integra: alright Alucard may the lord be with you!

Alucard: *with a smirk* I don't need his help

Integra: very well then...good bye Alucard

*Integra hangs up*

Seras: *waking up* Alucard what is going on

Alucard: apparently we have to take care of a zombie infestation on Native American lands and she hired a Native American guide Ahiga to guide us threw the wilderness

*Alucard gets in his coffin and turns away from Seras because he knows something isnt right but doesnt want to show it*

Seras: but what can we expect?

Alucard: I dont know police girl...i dont know

*they both fall asleep*

(the next morning Alucard awakens in a very grumpy mood for having to wake during the day and they go up to the canyon to meet there guide)

*Seras and Alucard stand at the basin of the canyon*

Seras: *amazed* isnt it amazing Alucard?

Alucard: psshhh hell is much deeper...

Seras: why do you have to be such a downer? just look at the scenery!

*a younger but very strong and hansom built Native American man comes walking towards them*

Seras: Hi! you must be Ahiga my name is Seras Victoria, but just call me Seras, and thats

Alucard *she whispers to Ahiga* hes in a grumpy mood

*Alucard glares at her for saying that*

Ahiga: ahh...anger is a natural part of life for we were made in the emotions of the Great Spirit

Alucard: *saying in his head* Great Spirit my ass!

Ahiga: do you have a problem with the great spirit?

Alucard: *looking very surprised* how did you read my mind?

Ahiga: my ways will become clear to you later...

Seras: *speaking telepathically to Alucard* why did you insult his god?

Alucard: *telepathically* arent you more freaked out about how he read my mind?

Seras: *telepathically* Alucard...the Native Americans are a beautiful and mysterious people, who knows what he knows

Ahiga: thank you Seras!

Seras: *shocked* you can read minds!

Ahiga: *says nothing*...

(later the sun starts to set)

Ahiga: the sun sets we must make camp here...

*Alucard makes coffins appear and Ahiga makes a campfire*

Alucard: *grumbling* i cant believe i have to go to sleep at night...

Seras: master your just not used to it youll be fine!

Alucard: Seras do you know how many people ive killed for being a smart ass!

Seras: yes master im sorry

Ahiga: enough fighting! we are on peaceful grounds

Seras:...so Ahiga...what tribe are you from?

Ahiga: I am a Navajo...my people have lived here for centuries

Seras: wow thats amazing!

Alucard: boring!

Seras: *angrily* MASTER!

*Ahiga sits silent*

Ahiga: I must rest now *he walks off into his tent

Seras: you see Alucard you offended him!

Alucard: I was only telling it how it is police girl

Seras: what ever im going to bed

Alucard: very well police girl...

*they both go off to bed*

(that night Alucard wakes up because he cannot sleep due to the fact it is night time)

*Alucard sits on the basin of the canyon drinking a blood pack*

Alucard: *contemplating* why did i even agree to this?...im stuck here in with an Indian and a blonde...fml...

*Alucard looks down at the bottom of the canyon and notices a massive horde of zombies coming there way*

Alucard: POLICE GIRL GET YOUR RIFLE!

*Seras and Ahiga wake up*

Seras: yes master *she aims at the zombies and picks them off one at a time*

(even with Seras's attempts the zombies still manage to climb the basin and over take them)

*Alucard and Seras are shooting at zombies*

Ahiga: GAH!

*Ahiga gets cornered by zombies*

Seras: *Seras yells in desperation* AHIGA!

Ahiga: *lets out a Native American war cry* AY AY AY AY AY AY AAAAAAYYYYYY!

(all of the sudden there is a bright light that lights up the canyon that is coming from the area where Ahiga was cornered and Ahiga's eyes start become gold and start glowing and he is all of the sudden wearing glowing red native american war paint and his muscle expand to twice there normal size and he is wielding two golden tomahawks)

*Ahiga starts killing zombies at a very rapid speed by using his tomahawks and shooting fire out of his mouth like a dragon and occasionally shape shifting into different animals to kill them*

*the dust clears and all the zombies are dead*

Alucard: *clapping his hands in amazement* my, my...u are quite powerful *Alucard points his gun at Ahiga* NOW ITS TIME TO START TALKING!...WHAT ARE YOU?

Ahiga: first of all i mean you no harm so lower your weapon...

*Alucard lowers his gun*

Ahiga: i was born hundreds of years ago into the Navajo tribe I was the sun of a medicine man/brave meaning I would have to follow in his foot steps...each young warrior must go through a vision quest...and during my quest the Great Spirit appeared to me and told me I am destine for greatness and my life will be ever lasting so he gave me a gift...I became a prophet of the Great Spirit….I have the power to vanquish any foe...The Great Spirit made me more god like than man

Seras: wow...thats incredible

Alucard: but what is causing the dead to walk again?

Ahiga:...humans...they have destroyed and built cities over the sites of our most sacred places and now my ancestors spirits are back for revenge…I find it very sad because I was a human once to and with that being said were are pretty much killing our people

Alucard: Ha! We aren't people we are monsters! and there is know way I am related or ever was one these things *he lifts up the head of one of the ghouls*

Ahiga: *stands up very quickly and points angrily at Alucard* PUT THAT DOWN THAT IS SACRED!

Alucard: *with a smirk* ohhh! it appears some one respects these sub-human freaks! *he tosses off of the canyon*

Ahiga: WHY YOU SON OF A!...*he tries to charge Alucard but Seras holds him back*

Seras: *still holding him back* master look what you've done! why would you even do that?

Alucard: You dare question your master? Besides I cant respect any one who respects those freaks!

*they continue to bicker and argue*

Ahiga: *stops struggling to get to Alucard* FOR FUCK SAKES STOP FIGHTING!

*they both stop and look in shock at Ahiga*

Ahiga: look….its obvious that we have our bad blood but can we please just put this all behind us? Yes, I shouldn't reacted the way I did and yes, he shouldn't have thrown the head of my ancestor off the cliff but fighting wont do us any good and man kind will be screwed if we continue to fight and give them more time to get more hordes!

Alucard: ….I suppose you have a point….

Seras: Ahiga is right…fighting will get us nowhere

Ahiga: exactly so we need to get out there and fight! AY AY AY AY! *he lets out a war cry and goes into his warrior form*

(they continue out into the desert to the main burial mounds)

Alucard: *smirks* time to die zombie… *he loads his gun*

Ahiga: Wait! Before you do this I must speak with the spirits of my ancestors and see if killing is avoidable

*Ahiga walks up to a large stone coming out of the burial mound*

Ahiga: Ancestors! I am Ahiga and I come in peace!

*The stone begins to glow*

Deep echoing disembodied voice: state your purpose…

Ahiga: I am here for peace we do not wish to fight you and we would like to ask of you to stop this violence against the humans! If it continues it will only be genocide!

Deep echoing disembodied voice: SILENCE! We care not for the living! And for disturbing us you shall pay!

*zombies begin to crawl out of the ground*

Ahiga: *talking to the zombies* GET BACK! I do not wish to hurt you!

*the zombies don't budge*

Alucard: there is no reasoning with ghouls! *he unleashes his hell hound and kills a lot of them*

*Alucard and Seras begin to tear through the zombies like toilet paper*

Ahiga: You leave me no choice ancestors! *Ahiga begins to glow even brighter and begins to levitate, he throws his head and his arms back and releases a very powerful blast of energy that makes the rest of the zombies explode*

*without warning a giant beast made of spirits bursts out of the rock and strikes Ahiga*

Ahiga: *falls to the ground*

Alucard: Finally! An opponent worth fighting! *Alucard grins* Releasing control art restrictions to level three, level two, level one. Situation A, the Cromwell approval is now in effect. Hold release until target is silenced…

*the beast and Alucard begin to fight but not long after Alucard gets the upper hand and vanquishes the beast by driving his hand into the heart of the beast*

Alucard: Mwahahaha! That was lovely… *an evil grin breaks across his face*

Seras: AHIGA!

*they both run to wear Ahiga was laying*

Seras: are you going to be ok? *tears begin to run down her face*

Ahiga: *in a trembling voice* I'm afraid…it is my time…

Seras: No! it cant be! You're a prophet of the Great Spirit!

Ahiga: Seras….it will be ok….my body is dead but my spirit shall live on

*he looks over at Alucard*

Ahiga: Alucard….drink my blood and eat my heart….gain my powers….and let my spirit live though you….

Alucard: *evil grin* with pleasure!

The End

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