Disclaimer: I do not own any characters or anything from Marvel
Warning: Includes depression
Your nose is too big. You have a big pimple on your forehead. No one gets your humour meaning you aren't funny. You don't have a boyfriend. You still haven't finished your Political Science course. You only have your job because you saw too much at New Mexico. Your own dad didn't want you.
Thoughts like these went round and round Darcy Lewis's head nonstop, 24/7, as if someone had pushed the repeat button in her head. Darcy knew that it didn't matter that she didn't have a boyfriend and that everyone got pimples (unless you were a super spy/soldier). However, once these thoughts started almost everything about her became a flaw. The strange thing was that it wasn't her voice that she heard. She heard her mother, her douche of an ex who she caught cheating on her, and her high school principal. What did all of these people have in common? They all pointed out her faults to her during her youth and their comments haunted her ever since. The voices had also begun to point out her new weaknesses such as how she got her job.
Sighing, Darcy closed her eyes, trying to block out the voices, her demons. She managed to get out of bed and into the bathroom. Every day she tried her hardest not to look in the mirror. Every day she failed. Standing in front of the mirror, Darcy looked at herself. Her boobs were a very noticeable feature which had been a source of torment in high school. Still they had a negative impact on how people viewed her. Not only did many guys have a habit of talking to them, but many people seemed to think she was dumber than she really was because of her cup size.
Darcy's eyes travelled down to her legs. Unlike Pepper, Jane, Natasha and pretty much every other female Darcy encountered, her legs were not very slim. They weren't fat but they weren't gorgeous or long or thin. Another source of torment.
An hour later Darcy had managed to make herself more or less presentable ad was on her way to the communal kitchen. The elevator doors opened and Darcy faked a big smile and made sure to add a bit of a bounce to her step. Turning round the corner, she was greeted with the sight of 6 amazing people who she would never measure up to. Of course you won't. They save the world on a semi regular basis while you free load off them.
"Hey Darcy. Bruce just made pancakes. Want some?" Clint called when he noticed her arrival. While Darcy loved pancakes she couldn't eat them anymore. She wouldn't. Stuff like pancakes were the reason she wasn't slim like Pepper and Jane.
"No thanks Clint. I ate a lot of cookies last night while on Tumblr. Did you know Misha Collins got arrested once for reading on top of a bank?" He shook his head and went back to eating. Everyone else seemed to believe her as well. "I got to go but I'll see you guys later." With that she walked back out the door, heading towards the lab. She didn't notice a pair of eyes that followed her.
"Hey science boss lady! When was the last time you ate?" Jane was hunched over a table, furiously scribbling on a piece of paper.
"Doesn't matter Darcy. I'm on the verge of a break through. I know it." Sighing, Darcy moved towards Jane.
"Jane you have to eat." Hypocrite. "Come on Jane. These equations will still be here later."
"No Darcy. I need to do this. Either help me or go away." Snapped Jane. Even Jane, your best friend, is fed up with you. You should just leave. Darcy tried not to let the tears fall. Instead she just frowned and nodded.
"Um okay Jane. I'll see you later." With that Darcy fled the lab but not before looking back and seeing Jane wasn't paying her any attention. In her moment of weakness the demons took control. Your best friend would rather work on equations and starve than eat with you. That's how pathetic you are.
Wiping tears from her eyes, Darcy hurried back to her room, trying to block out the voices with no luck. What are you even doing in Avengers Tower? You don't belong here. You have to be amazing, incredible, actually worth something be here and you are none of those things. You are a worthless pathetic brat. Pressing the down button for the elevator, Darcy tried to stop crying. Once she got to her room she would be able to cry but not until then. She didn't make it to her room.
"Darcy? What's wrong?" Darcy looked up in horror. The elevator doors had opened without her realising, revealing a concerned looking Bruce Banner. Darcy did the only thing she could think of. She ran.
Back down the corridor; past the labs; around t=a corner; into the stairwell; down a couple flights of stairs and through an unmarked door with the sound of someone else running and exclaims such as "Darcy stop!" following her.
"Jarvis lock the doors!" Bruce yelled as he too entered what Darcy now recognised as the gym.
"No. Jarvis open the doors." She exclaimed. However, he did not reply and the doors remained locked.
"Darcy what is going on? Why are you crying? Why did you run away?" Darcy had long ago given up on trying not to cry so tears were streaming down her face.
"Why are you pretending to care? Why did you follow me?" She countered but once she started she couldn't stop. "I don't belong here Bruce. You and the rest of the Avengers and Jane and everyone else here are exceptional but I am nothing. I'm not brilliant. I don't have super powers. The only thing I'm good at is annoying people."
"You're wrong Darcy." She shook her head and turned away but Bruce turned her back towards him, trying to look into her eyes as she ducked her head and avoided his gaze. "You are a remarkable person. You are funny and kind and a friend to everyone." Seeing that she didn't believe him, he tried a different approach. "I know what it's like to have demons Darcy. I know what it's like to have voices in your head telling you that you are worthless, that you don't matter. I also know that the voices inside our heads are lying." Darcy was crying harder and he wrapped his arms around her. They stood there for a while in the gym, wrapped in each other's embrace. They didn't say anything but for the first time in a long time Darcy realised the voices were wrong. She realised that she was loved. She realised that she was worth something.
Thanks for reading!
xoxo H
