Clary POV
I closed the door quietly behind me, hearing the soft click of the latch going into place. I chocked back a sob before quickly descending the stairs and hurrying out the door.
Jace POV
"Clary? Clary?" I questioned aloud when I didn't feel her close to me. Weird, I thought, she's never up before me. I stumbled blindly into the kitchen but she wasn't there. That wasn't when I started to worry. It was when I saw a white piece of paper on the table with my name written on it in flowery handwriting. I knew it was from Clary, she wrote my name like she said it; with a flow I couldn't ever seem to follow. I grabbed it, opening it hesitantly.
"Jace, I'm sorry that it came to this and all I can say is here in this letter because I wasn;t strong enough to face you myself. I love you but I can't keep doing this. I can't stand the fighting, the makeups, the struggle of loving you like this. Of worrying if you are going to come back t hrough that door or just leave me. I will always love you but I can't do that next to you anymore. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Don't follow me, that's my last request from you.
Always,
Clary
The paper had blurred spotsand I realized that theyw ere from tears, not just hers, but now mine. There was no mistaking the wetness that feel from my face. I scrubbed a hand across my face. I felt the urge to crumple the note, but it was the last trace of Clary I could see in the apartment. It was clean and bland, like everything else.I jumped from my seat quickly. She couldn't have gotten very far, maybe I could talk to her. I jumped out onto the street, ignoring the cold that hit my bare chest, to see her climbing into a cab.
"Clary!" I didn't sound like myself, I sounded desperate and broken. She glanced up and I felt terrible. She was crying and it was all my fault and I did exactly what she asked me to not. I was horrified and frozen inplace. I didn't move closer because it would only hurt her more. She mouthed something at me, I'm not exactly sure what she said, but it was heartbreaking, or that I was sure. I didn't try to stop her from closing the door behind her or jump out in front of the cab. Her hand was pressed against the window as the cab passed by in a rather slow manner. Everything started to blur in front of me, I didn't realize it was raining that hard.
I sat up quickly, grasping my sheats in my clenched hands. I shivered voilently. I dreamt of her again. Seven yearslater and she was still in my dreams. I laughed bitterly to myslef. She wasn't in my dreams, she was my dreams. She was all I dreamt about and she stared in my naightmares but that was my fault too. I was the reason she left and the reason she didn't want to be found. It was hard, but I'll survive. We always come out on top in the end, at least I like to think so. I quickly pulled some clothes on, I had a place to catch. One of my friends was getting married and I was the best man. It was an honor and he was getting married to someone amazing. I have never met her but she was a little spitfire , a spitfire he loved more than anything. I was happy for him but dreading the wedding because her name was Clarissa. That was Clary's full and it pained me to see it but after seven years I should really be stronger at dealing with things that reminded me of her. The truth though, I'm probably weaker and more vulnerable now that I had ever been. Expect for right after she left.
Flashback
"Jace! Jace! I know you're awake! Stop Mopping! This isn't what she wanted for you!" I winced at her words and made myself open the door.
"Will you just go away Izzy?" My sister, well adopted sister, was trying to look for me, the me that I had been before and with Clary, but I didn't want to be found. I just wanted to fix what was broken but I couldn't. Another thing I couldn't do.
"Oh Jace. You look awful." She was right, always was. I hadn't ate in days nor had I showered. "In the shower. You aren't supposed to literally die from heartache." I flinched at her words but I was too weak to fight her. Too weak to stop Clary from laving. Too week to stop hurting. Just to weak.
End of flashback
I snapped out of slipping on some shoes and grabbing my bag. A month after Clary had left, I did too. I couldn't stay in that place anymore. I didn't take anything with me but my clothes and things I needed. I refused to take any of the furniture, I could always buy more. That place held to many memories for me and I had to get away. I ended up moving to San Deigo. A new place, a new life, a new start. It really wasn't. I could never let myself be with another person. I just went to work, worked out, and then came up like I was some old man. Clary had broken me and I didn't want to be fixed. I never told anyone. I just acted like everything was okay and put on a mask, the same mask I wore when my parents had died. They never noticed. I glad they didn't. It was the only thing that was normal in my life anymore. The plane ride was rather uneventful and I was glad when we landed. I had missed New York City more than I liked to. Hank, my friend who was getting married tomorrow, picked me up at the airport.
"Where's your bride?" I asked after giving him a hug. He laughed giving a shake of his blonde head.
"She's under lock down with her maid of honor. No seeing each other till tomorrow." I laughed giving him a clap on the shoulder before getting in his car.
"Well, that just means it'll be easier to get your bachelors party underway." He gave a groan but smiled. A night on the town was what I had promised him. I'm not a very big fan of strip clubs but it was like a rite of passage for all me who were getting married. The night was really just a blur. I drank to much, Hank did too but he never once reached for any of the girls. I felt proud of my friend, he really did love this girl. Pain stabbed somewhere inside of me but I just ignored it, grabbing another drink. We left around one in the morning, stumbling back to his apartment.
"Hank, you look fine. Stop messing with your tie." I ordered at my fidgeting friend. He only gave me a sheepish look before I left to scoop out the bridesmaids. It was a best man's duty to sleep with the maid of honor and well I really wanted to see who that hopefully pretty lady was going to be. I glance around the room, shocked to see Simon.
"Simon!"He looked up, confusion written on his face when he saw me.
"Jace, I didn't know you were going to be here." I only nodded giving him a handshake.
"Long time no see, Simon. How have you been?" I didn't really listen to him, I was still looking for the maid of honor. "Hey, have you seen the maid of honor around here?" He gave me a skeptical look.
"I'm the man of honor." I almost spit out my drink, there was no way in hell I was going to be sleeping with the maid of honor at this wedding.
"Why?" He gave me a shadowed look, one that contained what I thought was pity. He was cut off when Izzy came up. She gave Simon a kiss and I groaned. She swatted at my arm playfully.
"What are you dong here, Jace." I gave her a fake hurt look.
"I'm the best man." Worry crossed her face along with that pity look, the same one Simon had, but before I could ask her about it the wedding march started up and we took our positions. I stood beside Hank and waited for those doors to open, revealing who the bride was and when I would start to wonder if she was good enough for Hank. I was not prepared for who came through those doors in the slightest.
Everything slowed down again and I could feel the smile slip from my face. It was Clary, my Clary, who walked through those doors dressed in a gold, not white. Of course, that trouble making was a shaker and mover in everything, why should she be traditional in her wedding dress color. She was beautiful and my heart started pounding. There Clary was, after seven years, walking down the aisle to me. No, she wasn't walking towards me. Towards him, Hank. Anger surged through me than shame. I wasn't in control of my actions, when I started to take a step forward.
"Clary?" I didn't mean to say that. I didn't mean to do anything, but my body and mouth were working without my brain. She stopped short, the large bouquet of hers trembling in her hands.
"Jace?" She whispered. I was going to say something else when she turn and fled. I started to go after her when I looked down at who was originally beside her. I sucked in a cold breath. There looking at me was a little boy of about six or seven looking up at me with red hair and gold eyes.
"Where is mommy going?" He asked and I all but fell to my knees in the chaos of her running. Everyone was moving in a frenzy to figure out what was going on with Clary and all I could see was that little boy whose eyes reflected mine. I bent down beside him.
"Let's go find her." He smiled big up at me and I didn't know what I was doing. Who was this little boy? Why did he call Clary mommy? And why did he look so familiar? He grabbed my finger in his little hand before dragging me down the aisle. Izzy watched me and him, her eyes big with worry. I didn't notice her, I was too focused on the child in front of me. He dragged me to a closed door where sobs could be heard from behind it.
"Mommy?" His voice was worried, no six year old should sound that worried. "Mommy, why are you crying? Are you okay Mommy?" I was frozen in place when the door started to open.
"I'm fine honey. Mommy's fine." Clary said as she opened the door, her face red from crying. She froze when she saw me with the little boy's hand wrapped around my finger. Max pulled me into the room with Clary. He let my hand go and launched himself at her. I closed the door behind me.
"Mommy, that man over there helped me find you. What's his name?" She was so stunned, all she did was wrap her arms around him tighter.
"What's going on, Clary?" She only stared at me, the little boy in her arms turned his red head, his hair the same shade of red as hers, to look at me his gold eyes so innocent.
"Mommy, who is that man?" He asked again, his little hand on her face. She finally turned to look at him, a smile softening her face.
"That man over there is Jace. He's an old friend of Mommy's and I haven't seen him in a while." He seemed happy with her answer.
"Why are his eyes gold? You said I was the only one in the whole world with gold eyes." I snapped my attention back to his eyes. That's why they looked so familiar, they were just like mine.
"Clary, Clary, is he...?" I trailed off not sure what to expect. She looked like she was going to cry again. She gave me a soft nod and I fell into a chair my legs giving out from my weight. She set the little boy on the ground, looking at him, holding his little hands in hers.
"You know how I told you, you had your daddy's eyes, Max?" Max. She named him Max and I breathed in sharply. Max was my little brother who had died when he was younger and she name this little boy after him. He nodded looking at her. "Well that man over there, Jace, he's your daddy." He looked over at me before his face lit up in a smile. He looked like he was going to come over to me but Clary held onto him. She pulled him close to her, crying again.
"Don't cry Mommy. Please don't cry." He wrapped his arms around her neck and I lost it. I climbed down onto the floor, pulling the two of them close to me, my arms encircling them both. Clary stiffened at my touch but relaxed after a minute.
"What am I going to do?" She asked no one in particular. I knew what she had to do and it killed me.
'Clary. Clary, look at me." She did so after a few moments, tears leaking down her cheeks. I brushed them away with my thumb. "This is what's going to happen. You are going to go out there and marry Hank. Then you are going to go on your honeymoon and live your life happy as can be with him and Max." I don't know why I was saying this. It was the exact opposite of what I wanted, but it was what needed to happen. She nodded but looked at Max who sat in her lap between us.
"We'll figure it out later." I pulled her by her hands, removing my hand from her cheek."You can do this. Now let me go out there and then you will make your entrance again." She nodded and I left the room and my heart to go out there. Hank looked at me and I nodded. He looked relieved.
"Sorry about that folks, but the bride just needed a moment." They people in the rows seemed to nod in understanding. I took my spot by Hank and he thanked me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I only nodded saying, 'what are friends for?' Clary started walking back up the aisle and nothing stopped her this time, not even when she looked at me. I gave her a nod and she kept walking. The preacher made a move to start talking but Hank caught him off first.
"If I may, preacher?" He nodded and Hank took Clary's hands in his own."You know I love yo Clary but something has been brought to my attention by this. You love me Clary and let me into your heart after a while but you still keep it under lock and key." She looked pained but he continued. "When I met you, you had locked away your heart only letting two people in it. Max is one of them and the other is his father. I know you have tried but you haven't let me in and because of that I can't marry you here today." She looked like she was going to start crying again. "You already have someone else in that place and I can't take it. I love you Clary, but I can't." He finished letting her hands go before stepping away. The room was plunged in silence.
"With that I am sorry to say to you all that there will not be a wedding here today." Hank said but Max spoke up before the room started to erupt in chaos.
"My Mommy's getting married today." He said. Hank sighed, kneeling down to look at him eye to eye.
"And who is she getting married to?" He asked, humoring the child. Without hesitation Max said, "She's marrying my daddy." Hope clenched my heart.
"And who is your daddy, Max?" He asked. Max only smiled and pointed up to me. Hank slowly looked up at me and then back to Max a few times before it clicked. Hank looked like he wanted to punch me and I couldn't blame him.
"Mommy, you are marrying Daddy right?" I had never felt so much love for anyone besides Clary than I did in that moment for Max. Little, sweet, innocent Max who thought Clary was marrying me. She looked over at me and I could see that thought blossoming in her mind. I stepped forward, taking her hands in mine.
"I would do anything to marry you right here, Clary. I will work harder than I have ever worked in my life to make not only you and Max happy." She frowned and looked at me.
"But you must have someone in your life-" I cut her off with a firm shake of my head.
"No one. No one but you. It's always only been you for me." The smile she gave me made me giddy with happiness when I realized she was saying yes. I looked to Hank, he gave me a sad smile and a rueful chuckle.
"She was never really mine in the first place." I looked at the people in the seats, seeing the smiling faces of Jocelyn, Luke, Alec and Mangus. The ones that made me happier were Robert and Maryse who nodded. Everyone was there and all I had to do was get Clary to say I do.
"Jace." I looked back down at her. "I would be honored to marry you." I looked at the preacher and he started it back up. Max tugged on my leg and I looked down at him.
"I'm happy you were here, Daddy." I smiled down at him before looking back at Clary.
"Me too, little man. Me too."
