{inspired by a song of the same tile by jaymes young}
4:30 am and once again here he stood. he looked at himself in the mirror and took another swig from the bottle of muggle liquor that lived in his palm. He should know better. He always saw the devil in himself when he had Rum on his tongue. But sometimes, sometimes if he was lucky, he would see her.
Her chocolate curls hanging gently around her face. Her beautiful face. A few stray strands falling lose from the rest to bounce around in front of her eyes. Her eyes in which it was so easy to get lost in.
He never meant for her to get hurt. He never meant to start that fire in her, to make her go running off to save the world from his mistakes. To have her blood on his hands.
"ill be a better man" he all but cries to his reflection. "give her back to me? Please! I'll be good! I'll be good! I'll be good, Please!" he pleaded to the darkness, he had lost track of how many times he had done this.
Taking another drink he looks at the bottle in his hands and thinks about just how bitter his past really is. Emotions, love, sorrow, grace, he was always taught not to feel them. Weakness his father had said. But his father knew nothing. His father had never known her. His father was the reason she was gone.
Pain suddenly shot up his arm. Looking down he saw blood dripped from his hand the bottle shattered around his feet. When had he done that? The fact that he couldn't remember why he had blood on his hands scared him.
"Draco?" the soft voice hit his ears like a ton of brinks to the face. His eyes shot up back to his reflection in the broken mirror and there behind him she stood. Her hair a tangled mess. Her cheek bruised her lip split open, her eyes no longer as innocent as they use to be. Blood stained the front of her shirt, red, red blood, red blood just like as he remembered.
"Hermione?" he slurred her name as he fell to his knees.
"Draco? What?" she walked over to him slowly as if he was a wounded animal. Placing her hand on his shoulder. He turned where he was still on his knees in front of her he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her so tightly it was almost painful and she didn't understand.
"i'm sorry, im sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" he repeatedly cried into her stomach.
"sorry for what?" she asked not sure she wanted the answered.
"i'm sorry for everything that i've done, for everything, just everything," he held her frantically as if he was terrified that she might disappear before him. "I love you, I always loved you i'm so sorry"
"Draco, I…"
"i'll be better, i'll be a better man, I swear I will. I'll be good, i'll be a good man, don't leave me"
Forcing himself to his feet he took in her scent, vanilla and pumpkin with a hidden hint of ink old books tea and damp dirt. Just as she had always been.
"I'll be better" he cried burying his face in his bloody hands before dropping them to his side. He knew when he opened his eyes she wouldn't be there, because she never really was. He just wanted to hold on to her for just a few seconds longer.
"i'll be good"
He watched her vanish before him as he opened his eyes to his broken refection. And he promised himself he would change for her, he would be a better man, he would make her proud of him. It woudn't bring her back, nothing would. His father had made sure of that.
"i'll make it up, i'll make it up for all of the times I never could" he promised. before turning away from himself to go wash the blood off his face. tossing what was left of the broken bottle in the trash on his way out.
