Another Harvest Moon oneshot for the Village Square writing contest. This month's theme is Fire and Ice. It just so happens that two of my favorite bachelorettes from ToT/AP (Luna and Candace) represent this theme well. Enjoy!
Out in the Cold
I remember the day when I heard the news, clear as crystal… I mean, how could I not? Nothing exciting ever happened on Castanet Island, so whenever there was something worth remembering, it stuck in our minds like glue. And this event especially was engraved in the deepest part of my thoughts.
It was a Saturday afternoon, a few hours before sunset, and another sleepy day at Sonata Tailoring. As the hours ticked away, I kept myself busy mending one of Selena's dresses, but the monotonous routine was suddenly shattered with a bang as the door to the shop flew open and my little sister ran in, her face brimming with excitement. Upon seeing me, she let out a little squeal and ran up to me before squeezing me in a hug that was way too strong for somebody her petite size.
"Luna, wh-what's wrong? Why… why are you-"
"Oh Candace, nothing's wrong!" she replied in a bubbly voice. Something seemed weird with her as she stood there, trying to keep the energy in her system from bursting out. Normally, while my sister was energetic, she never came off as overly happy, but something had made her ecstatic, and it showed in her bright, blue eyes. "Something wonderful has happened!"
"What… what happened?" I asked as I tried to pry myself out of her grasp. She realized that I was suffocating, so she let go, adjusting her pink curls that had been mangled by the wind she had run through. To answer my question, she held out a small wooden box. She had been carrying it when she entered, but I hadn't paid much attention to it until it was right in front of my nose. With her free hand, she lifted the top of the box to reveal the object that so many women desired: a blue feather. I felt my eyes widen in utter shock.
"Oh my…" I began, but Luna cut me off before I could find my voice again.
"It's a blue feather, Candace!" she shouted, stating the obvious. "Kevin finally proposed! I'm so happy!"
I had already put the pieces together in my mind, but hearing her say those words was enough to make my heart collapse on itself. Not even Luna's happiness could make brighten my mood.
Luna and I had always been opposites. Like opposite sides of a magnet. Day and night. Fire and ice… But all and all, that was for the best. From the time I was a child, I was extraordinarily shy. It was mostly because of my stuttering, which led me to be quiet, and my confidence never exactly took off. But despite being two years younger than me, Luna had always been like the older sister between the two of us. Whenever I was too afraid to speak for myself, she'd do it for me, and she was very good at that. Luna had always been a feisty spitfire with a mouth that got her in more trouble than good. But under her blunt personality was the soul of one of the most caring people that I have ever known in my life. Whenever I needed to cry, I had her shoulder to cry on. Whenever I finished a new design, she'd be the first to tell me how beautiful it was. And she always told me to put myself out there. To be social, to wear bright colors, to smile. That was all advice that I had been too afraid to follow, despite her constant pushing. But at the end of the day, she forgave me for my shyness. Finally, she also acted as a personal diary, since I could tell her anything. Well… almost anything. There was one secret that I kept to myself: my feelings for Kevin.
I never had a lot of friends on this island outside of my family. For a long time, the only person that came to mind was Julius, but I never developed the same trust for him that I gave to Luna and Grandma. But everything changed when Kevin arrived and took over the abandoned farm. I remember the day I met him like it was this morning. He had a very simple look about him: medium length brown hair, a youthful face, soft brown eyes, and a gentle smile. On top of his appearance, whenever he talked with you, you felt as though every word you said did not go unnoticed. For somebody like me who says so little and is heard even less, that was a marvelous thing.
As the weeks passed, I had the opportunity to get to know him better, as he always came by the shop to talk to me, Grandma, and Luna once she returned in the summer. At the time, I didn't think anything of it. Kevin was friendly with everybody in town, so it didn't strike me as anything special. He just wanted people to like him, that was all. But of course, how I felt about him… that changed too. Over time, he began to talk with me more and more. On top of that, he actually wanted me to talk with me, which was something that so many people didn't want to do.
"But I… I really have n-nothing to say…" I told him.
"I doubt that. We all have a story to tell," he replied, smiling like he always did.
Just the fact that he took the time to listen to me when so many people wouldn't have bothered... For the first time in awhile, I felt important… and it was so strange. But at the same time, it felt wonderful. I was so happy that I could call him a friend… of course, that would only lead to me feeling something more. From the day I recognized my feelings for him, I constantly felt my stomach erupt with butterflies whenever I saw him, and those same butterflies were there when I dreamt of the boy from the farm. Yet I managed to keep it contained, and I said nothing of it, not even to Luna. I was too afraid of what she might say, since she didn't seem to enjoy Kevin's company that much. In fact, she had called him annoying straight to his face more times than one.
Of course, in hindsight, that was stupid of me to think that Luna didn't like him at all. Her abrasive and aggressive attitude was just how she treated anybody that was trying to get to know her. Little did I know that the two of them were actually better friends than I expected. They just had a different way of showing it; through teasing and flirting and what not. But at the time of my ignorance, I decided that maybe I should take Luna's advice and actually speak my mind. But before I could gain enough courage to do it, Luna and Kevin started dating. And then my "plan" fell to pieces…
Luna was so overjoyed with Kevin that it began to change her demeanor. While she was still energetic and lacked subtlety as always, she seemed a lot happier and friendlier. All and all, her relationship with Kevin did wonders for her. But all the while, I felt the pangs in my heart grow stronger as I felt so conflicted. Why did I not tell Kevin how I felt when I had the chance? Why did I not tell Luna how I felt before she acted? Or would it have even mattered? Maybe by the time I felt that way about him, it was already too late. But at the same time, I had to be happy for Luna. She was so overjoyed to be with him, and she deserved somebody like him to take care of her. And I knew I had to feel happy for Kevin too, since while Luna was a little harsh at time, I knew first hand how caring she was. That was why I could never say how I felt. Because they would be so happy together… while I'd only feel like I never acted for myself.
I don't know why the news of their engagement came as such a shock to me. It wasn't that surprising. They had been dating for a long time and they seemed really in-love… maybe that was why I was so taken back. Maybe I just didn't want to accept that my chance was gone. I mean, I could have said something, but I couldn't do that. I loved Luna… and Kevin. Enough that for the sake of their happiness, I would keep my mouth shut… forever.
Another unknown summer night. I had to distract myself from the onset of the inevitable. In two weeks, Luna and Kevin would be married, and every passing day was a little more painful than the last. As I picked up another lone shell from the sand under the glowing moon, I saw somebody else on the far end of the beach… Kevin. Of course it had to be Kevin. Why did he have to be here when I was trying to suppress my feelings for him?
"Candace!" he shouted from across the way. He had seen me just before I could make my escape, and then he began to walk over to me as I just stood there. Worried that the wind may have frazzled my appearance, I began running my fingers though my hair to try and comb it, though I wasn't sure why I was doing that. Kevin wouldn't care. He never did.
"Um… hi Kevin," I squeaked, causing him to chuckle at my shyness. "Wha-what are you doing h-here?"
"Well, I was fishing, but they just don't seem to be biting tonight." Of course he was fishing. He was carrying his rod. How could I have been so stupid? "What are you doing out here? It's kinda late for you."
"I-I just wanted to look for shells…" I stared at my feet and blushed. I was still nervous whenever I talked to Kevin, and I didn't understand why, considering how long I had known him.
He laughed again, though much softer. "Hey you, why are you always like this?" he asked gently as he touched my shoulder.
"Like w-what?" I asked, feeling my cheeks redden even further.
"Like… I don't know. You always seem worried about something whenever we talk…" Suddenly, he smiled widely. "You're not embarrassed to be seen with me, are you?" he joked.
"Wha- No! No, not at all," I gasped, taking the joke a little too seriously. "I just… It's just… I'm s-sorry…"
"Relax, don't be," he replied smoothly. "I know we're friends. It's just… I don't know, I remember you being the same way the day we met. I was walking down the street and I saw you. But when you saw me, you just bolted off. It was kinda funny."
"Oh… I was h-hoping you'd forget about that…" I sighed. He must think I'm a fool.
"How could I forget about that?" he laughed lightly, "I thought it was cute. I like you for who you are, Candace, even if you are a bit awkward." Normally, I would have been hurt by such a comment, but the way he said it... I know he meant it in an endearing way: that it made me special, and not in a bad way. "You shouldn't worry about stuff like that. Sometimes it's better that some things don't change, you know?"
"Yeah…" I sighed. Of course, so many things had changed in the past year and a half since Kevin had arrived, and they had changed for the better. The island was receiving more money from his farm, the island had been healed from its injuries that it sustained from the disappearance of the Harvest Goddess, and residents were returning, filling the island with life again. And of course, to me, the biggest change was my sister's engagement. But while all of these things had changed for the better, I had not. I was still too shy to speak my mind, and because of that, I had lost an opportunity… assuming I even had one to begin with…
"Hey, you alright?" Kevin asked me, ignorant to what I was thinking. "You look like something is bothering you."
"Y-yes…" I replied, but Kevin didn't buy it for a second.
"Hey, just tell me!" he encouraged. "Just spit it out. Don't worry so much and get whatever you have to say off your chest. We're friends. You can tell me anything, you know."
This is it… Just say what you've been wanting to say for so long. I had a mind to do it too. But before I could open my mouth, the guilt flowed through every vein in my body. What if Kevin didn't understand? What if he hated me? But also, there was Luna. Could I really destroy her happiness for my selfishness? Were my feelings selfish? No… no they weren't. But it would be selfish to act on them. After all those years Luna looked after me, I had a duty to look after her. And that meant accepting that maybe… maybe she deserved Kevin because she had acted on what she felt… and I didn't.
"I… I think Luna is really l-lucky to have somebody like you, Kevin," I replied, focusing on holding my tears back while smiling. "I… know you'll t-take good care of her."
He smiled, forgetting that there was something wrong with me. "Thanks Candace." He stepped forward and hugged me tightly, though it was clearly platonic. "You don't have to worry. I swear to you, I'll take good care of her."
They were married two weeks later… and they had their first child, a beautiful baby girl, seven months afterward. Already, that was an indication that even if I had expressed how I felt that day, it would have been too late. It's for the best, I kept telling myself. They were happy, and I was happy for them, even though it hurt inside. Over time, the pain lessened, but I could never completely forget. You don't forget that sort of thing.
In the end though, I only had myself to blame. While I was too shy to express myself, Luna wasn't. We were completely different, like fire and ice. How appropriate… she's surrounded by the warmth of a loving family, while I feel like I've been left out in the cold…
Yeah, it's kinda sad. But I sort of see this story as a message of love, since Candace does what she does for the well-being of the two people she loves in different ways. Regardless, if you enjoyed the story, review, and vote for me. Thank you for reading.
