RanKid01

Ranma the Kid

By

Jim Robert Bader

(Inspired by the Works of Rumiko Takahashi & J. T. Edson)

Part One.

Four strangers strode into town late afternoon, attracting the usual sort of disinterested attention that visitors always gained in the little town of New Rhine, New Mexico. These strangers were on foot, looking trail worn and dusty with clothing that seemed ill-fitting and loosely borrowed. One wore a poncho with a sombrero that all but hid his identity while the other three wore more conventional jeans, shirts and Stetson hats. One figure was wore a long trail coat that also obscured his figure, but there was no mistaking the large shovel-
like object slung across his back with a bandoleer across his chest supporting its weight.

None of these figures was especially tall by the standards of most men of that era. Of course it took a few second-glances before the casual observer might have determined that at least one of these strangers stood at just under five- and a half feet, as slender as a wand with a willowy frame that curved in all the right places, which even the loose fitting shirt that she now wore could not entirely obscure.

This woman turned to her three companions and said, "All right every body, remember what I told you. Let me do all the talking here and I'll try to secure us some rooms for the evening."

None of her companions was inclined to argue the point. They all three knew her to have the best negotiating skills in their group and she was the most fluent in the local dialect. They watched her turn and head into a building that stood across the unpaved dirt road that they had followed into town, then the three of them milled around and gawked at the scenery like any ordinary tourists.

"So," one of them remarked idly, "This is the Wild West, huh? Not exactly like they show it in the movies."

"This is reality, Sugar," the second figure in the long coat remarked, "The genuine article. There's no stage director around here to pretty the place up and make it look just right by John Wayne standards."

The third figure tipped back the sombrero to reveal a feminine face beneath a shock of red hair, then she said, "Whatever, just so we can find a way out of this high plains hellhole. We're about a hundred and twenty years and a few thousand kilometers away from home, and I for one don't plan to hang around to get caught up in one of their dumb shootouts."

"Ranma," the first speaker growled, "Don't you feel any sort of excitement about being here? We're in the American past, a time of heroism and adventure. We could learn a lot while we're travelling to China to find Shampoo's Great Grandmother. We may never make it back, but at least we can try to enjoy ourselves while we're here."

"I agree with what you're saying, Akane," the second figure replied, "But I'm also with Ranchan on this being a dangerous place for us to wind up lost in. Anything could go wrong, like when those bandits tried to jump us a little while ago. Good thing they didn't know squat about fighting besides those six-
shooters and rifles they were using."

"Yeah, well if that's all that does go wrong, I'll be happy," Ranma felt along the collar of her borrowed poncho, "Good thing a couple of those guys were just the right size for you two to borrow their clothes. I have to use this stupid vest to hide my Chinese outfit, not that you had to worry much about finding something to fit a Tomboy like you, Akane..."

"Why you...!" Akane growled.

"Knock it off you two!" Kuonji Ukyo deliberately interposed herself between them, "This isn't the time or place for us to be going at it this way. Keep in mind that we're trying to find a way back to Japan of our time, and to do that we need to find a way to get to China."

"That's right," Akane subsided, "And we also need to find out what happened to Mister Saotome..."

"Maybe," Ranma sniffed indifferently, "If there's time for it..."

"RANMA!" came a shout from the saloon, drawing everyone's attention.

"Nabiki!" Akane cried out, "She must be in trouble!"

"Leave it all to her she says," Ranma growled, already halfway across the road and followed hotly by her two companions.

They burst into the saloon doors only to find the middle Tendo daughter was being held rather roughly by a huge, burly man while two others were in the process of playing interrogators. Nabiki was obviously not hurt except for a reddish mark along the side of her face that implied that she had just been slapped by the men standing directly before her.

"[Let her go!]" Ranma snarled in badly accented English.

"[Who's gonna make me, runt?]" the burly man snorted, tightening his grip upon Nabiki's arms to emphasize the point that he felt little intimidation from the sight of the three intruders.

Five seconds later, after three male bodies hit the floor and the dust had settled, Akane was looking with concern at her sister and saying, "Are you all right, Oneechan?"

"Fine," Nabiki winced slightly as she felt along her face, then glared at one of the prone men on the floor before giving him a rude kick with her borrowed footwear. Once more regaining her legendary composure she said, "Little Nero there just thought it was fun to play around with a Japanese girl when I was asking about accommodations. Seems these three were part of the local welcoming committee for this town. I suspect they belong to a gang very much like the ones who tried to jump us."

"Oh yeah?" Ukyo growled as she flashed her bakers peel and reached down with a hand to pick up one of the fallen thugs who was less unconscious than the others, half yanking him to his knees while her face hovered mere inches away so that he could see the sandalwood coloring of her eyes, then she shifted to English that was somewhat less accented than Ranma's, "[Well, how would you like it if I gave you a lesson in respecting a woman, Jackass? You want I should start now?]"

"Ukyo," Nabiki said very shortly, "Do you mind? Hold the threat until I open negotiations. These three are just hired muscle, the real bad guy would be the one who employs them."

"How do you know that?" Ranma asked.

"Because that's the way it is in every western Ranma-kun," Nabiki winked at him, "Trust me."

Squatting down on her heels so that she was much closer to being in visual range of the bully Ukyo still held in an iron grip she smiled like the predator that she was and said, "[As I was starting to say to you before, my friends and I are strangers in your town passing through on our way to San Francisco. It wasn't our intent to get involved in local matters, but since you started on me I'm inclined to think you could be the one to come to for some badly needed answers.]"

"[And why should I tell you anything, slant-eyes?]" the man rudely growled.

Nabiki's smile would have chilled the blood of a rattler as she spoke to the side, "Oh, Akane-chan...it feels a bit drafty in here. Do you think you could make some kindling for a bonfire?"

Akane smiled, fully understanding her sister's intent even if she only had a rough idea what the man had said by the rude tone he had employed on Nabiki. She turned to the nearest table and raised one hand. A second later there was a pile of broken lumber in the spot it had occupied. The thug took note of this then noisily swallowed before saying, "[What did you want to ask, Ma'am?]"

"[To start with,]" Nabiki smiled in ruthless cunning, "[The name of your employer.]"

"[Sure thing,]" he replied most cooperatively, "[He's a dude from back east, goes by the name of Hiram Jones, only everybody around here just calls him Little Caesar on account of him being such a military history buff and...]"

"[Little Caesar, eh,]" Nabiki purred like a cat, "[Well, do you suppose we could meet up with this Mister Jones and make a few polite inquiries from him? We're from out of town, you see, and we were hoping to find gainful employment before moving on to greener pastures...]"

"[Won't do you much good around here,]" the man replied, "[This town's fallen on hard days since they routed the train to miss coming near this valley, and the stage only pulls through here every other Tuesday. If you're looking to hire yourselves out for a rail team...]"

"[We're not Chinese laborers,]" Nabiki corrected, "[We're from a different part of Asia, an island called Nippon, or Japan as you Gaijin know it. We have other skills that your employer might find...useful.]"

"Think you might ask him what the fare is for catching a boat from here to China?" Ranma asked as she casually backhanded a thug who was starting to recover, neatly sending him through the far wall on the other end of the saloon, "I'm pretty sure if we meet up with Cologne she'd be willing to help us get back to our own time."

"[What did he say?]" the man Nabiki was questioning asked nervously, wondering at the rather high pitched tone of the diminutive redhead.

"[My friend over here has something of a bad temper,]" Nabiki pointedly ignored Ranma's indignant denial to that comment, "[I want to assure him of your complete cooperation with us so that he doesn't decide to use your insides to make a new lariat, or something of that nature. I trust that I will have your full cooperation?]"

The man was big and no Oxford graduate, but he seemed intelligent enough not to question the glares being turned on him by the four teenaged youths that he kept thinking of as Chinese Tong Assassins. He agreed that cooperation was very much preferable to upsetting the redheaded lady. Besides, it wasn't as if women of the prairie didn't live up to their reputation as being tough as rawhide with vinegar to add to their spice (his mother being another prime example he thought with a silent shudder).

They followed the man out onto the dusty streets of the little town and by turns were shown to yet another saloon, one that had a second story to it, to say nothing of there being more men lounging about looking dangerously bored for no particular reason. Ranma and her companions silently appraised these men as hard-bitten fighter types, though it was obvious at a glance that they relied more upon their sidearms than their fists or their wits. Even so the fighters in their little group kept themselves alert and ready for anything, leaving Nabiki to concentrate on what she judged to be the "main action."

There was no opposition to them entering the establishment, but once inside it was plain that they were at the center of the local "network of power." A man sitting at a table had the look of someone important, given the deference to which he was being accorded by others. Currently he was in the middle of a card game with a couple of other men, and some chips laid on the table along with paper money and a few coins, implying that this was a serious matter between "gentlemen," not something that ought to be casually interrupted.

The man leading their way came to an abrupt halt and remained where he was, at a respectful distance from the man at the table, obviously waiting to be recognized before approaching too closely. His patience was rewarded a moment later in which the bearded man spoke without looking up from his cards, "[What do you want, Earl? You're interrupting my game.]"

"[Boss,]" the man said nervously, "[These...ladies said they wanted to talk with you about something...]"

"[What ladies?]" the man looked up from his cards then took a look at Nabiki and smiled, "[Well, well...what brings this little fortune cookie here to our forsaken corner of the wilderness?]"

"[Are you Hiram Jones, the one they call Little Caesar?]" Nabiki began by way of introductions.

"[That all depends,]" the man replied, "[Are you looking for employment?]"

"[In a manner of speaking, Jones-san,]" Nabiki replied, "[My friends and I find ourselves at a loss for funds in your country's currency, and we were hoping we might be able to work a little deal...depending on if we can do something to earn it.]"

The man's smile deepened, "[That all depends, China Doll, on what you have to market.]"

"[More like a service in kind, but not the one you're thinking about, Jones-
san,]" Nabiki replied, "[And we are not Chinese...we are Japanese...a very big distinction.]"

"[Not to me,]" the self-described "Little Caesar" grinned, nodding to his men, "[Let's see what they've got, Boys. Strip them.]"

"Be ready," Nabiki murmured to her companions, knowing full well that her caution would not need to be repeated.

"[Come here, you little blushing Blossom...]" one burly man moved forward with hands outstretched towards Akane, who did not even bother to turn around as her fist shot upward and connected with his jaw, sending him flying backwards to crash head-first into the ceiling.

Earl proved a sensible man this time around as he instinctively ducked low and covered his head while Ukyo unslung her spatula and slapped a man in the face who had been attempting to sneak up on her from behind. Several men reflexively went reaching for their guns, only to yelp and shake their wounded hands as Ukyo sent two volleys of spatulas spinning to the sides in order to disarm them. Another man got too near to Ranma and had his gun-arm nearly twisted out of its socket while her elbow simultaneously connected with his jaw, snapping his head backward.

Within as many seconds a half a dozen men went down, another half dozen drew weapons, but the man at the table raised his hand and voice as he ordered these men to hold their fire, almost like a military officer barking out precision orders. To a man his gunslingers halted where they were, then the self-
described "Little Caesar" frowned as he stared hard at Nabiki, who had not even batted an eyelash during these exchanges.

"[What do you want?]" he asked more sharply.

"[As you can see, we are much more than what we appear to be at a glance,]" Nabiki calmly replied, "[Women of our class and society are trained to be warriors and fighters...to use our bodies as weapons, as you have seen demonstrated here. I think you could see how effective we might be if you have any enemies you would wish to inconvenience?]"

The man's eyes sparkled with interest, then he murmured softly, "[Do you play cards in your country little lady?]"

Nabiki just smiled and replied, "[Would you like to deal me in? I'm sure I could find some stakes worth your attention.]"

The man made a sweeping gesture, and without a word his fellow card players made room for the new addition. Nabiki smoothly pulled up a chair and dealt herself in while Ranma, Ukyo and Akane remained on alert and at the ready, eyeing and being eyed in turn by the hired men in an uneasy truce. A few moments later, however, the atmosphere grew more relaxed, even when Nabiki started winning at cards, which proved a ready tool for opening serious negotiations...

"Not too bad, Sugar," Ukyo commented sometime later, "You made a pretty fair killing, but why didn't you play for higher stakes?"

"Figure it out for yourself, Kuonji-san," Nabiki smoothly replied, "It wouldn't do to tick off an employer who's hiring for money, and by quitting while I had enough under my belt to buy us some clothes, food and a room for the night I assured that we'd remain in his good graces. Meanwhile that gives us time to size up this rival for the territory whom he wants us to check out. It figures we'd arrive during a time when there is growing strife between those herding sheep and cattle through the Territories, but I think we can arrive at a suitable accommodation, provided the information he gave us is legit."

"I still don't trust that guy," Ranma growled out in strong reservation, having returned to male status upon finding a pot of boiling water, which meant that he now filled out his borrowed clothing a bit better for the transition.

"No reason why you should trust him, Ranma-kun," Nabiki replied, "But we need his good faith if we're to earn the capital we need to make it back to our own country. Good thing some of us at least stayed awake while reading up on foreign history and studying English," she noted with a sharp look towards a wincing Ranma.

"So, why are we going back to that first Saloon that we trashed?" Ukyo wondered.

"Simple logic of the terrain," Nabiki replied, "It's a franchise holding, away from the main center of power. If we'd stayed back there at the larger hotel our new employer might have been tempted to try something we'd all regret. This just diminishes the power of that temptation."

"I don't like the idea of working for a criminal, Oneesan," Akane complained, "Did you see the way those perverts were looking at us? Disgusting!"

"Got that right, Sugar," Ukyo agreed, "And what's to keep him from double-
crossing us after we do this job you worked out?"

"That's where you three come in," Nabiki replied, "You showed him that we could get results, but when-not if-this guy tries to take advantage of us, I'll expect you all to do your part to knock him and his hired muscle down a peg or too..."

"And what'll you be doing while we do all the work?" Ranma asked suspiciously, "Ducking for cover?"

"Well, obviously you don't expect me to be on the front lines, do you?" Nabiki said with a placid smile, "After all, I'm more delicate than you guys...besides, who else here is going to think up a plan to get us back to Japan?"

"I could do that," Ukyo pointed out, "This is the Meiji era, after all, and I can speak the language here almost as good as you can, Sugar."

"Almost doesn't count in this time period, Kuonji," Nabiki sniffed, "You saw how they treated us back there? That's just a small sample of what we're in for. Don't forget, at this point in time America is a racially divided place, a period known as 'Reconstruction,' shortly after a great civil war that was largely fought over the race issue. All Asians here tend to be lumped together no matter where they come from, and most Chinese are Coolie labor, either working on railroads or sweating in shops and brothels. They thought we were prostitutes looking for employment back there, and even though you disabused them of that for the moment, don't expect them to completely forget that we are women, which in their mind means we have only one real useful employment."

Akane wrinkled her nose and growled, "I'd like to employ my fists on him if he even thinks of trying anything with me..."

"Same here," Ukyo agreed, "I almost hope he does try something, just so I can have the pleasure of pounding him as flat as an okonomiyaki."

"You won't have to if he tries something perverted around me, Ucchan," Ranma promised, "I was ready to deck him after he made that crack about my breasts..."

All at once battle reflexes came into play and his hand snapped out to catch a speeding arrow that was passing dangerously close to his head. The party froze in their tracks and looked around, then followed the direction of the arrow's flight and saw a figure standing on top of a building glaring angrily down at them while nocking another arrow to her bow.

"Kuso!" Nabiki hissed, "Not her again?"

"Running Bear?" Ranma blanched, "But how...?"

Ukyo suddenly shoved him forward and cried, "Who cares? RUN!"

"This is all your fault, Ranma!" Akane cried as the four of them speeded up their pace and headed towards the nearest building seeking shelter, even as a flint-tipped arrow struck the ground close to where Ranma had set foot a moment before hand.

"My fault?" he growled, "How is this my fault?"

"Do the math, Ranchan!" Ukyo shouted, "After all, you're her fianc e!"

Ranma winced at the tone of accusation in his best friend's voice, but rather than dispute the charge his mind went back to how it had all begun only a day or two ago, when he and the others had literally dropped from the sky in the middle of a battle...

"WHOAH!" Ranma said as the ground suddenly inverted itself and appeared directly below his head...which seemed like up at the moment, though he was hardly of a mind to dispute the issue. A quick flip righted him and got his legs underneath just in time to catch his weight and break his fall...unfortunately his concern with what was below his feet distracted him from looking upward, else he might have seen the other three bodies hurtling down on top of his head only a fraction of a second later.

The resulting dogpile broke the fall of Ukyo, Akane and Nabiki, with the latter winding up on top of the others, but as jolting as this was, it was only a temporary reprieve as they became aware that they were in the middle of a major commotion.

"Holy-!" Nabiki exclaimed as she rolled off the pile of bodies and ducked her head low, just as bullets went whizzing past her head by an uncomfortably close margin.

"Somebody's shooting at us?" Akane blurted out as she recovered from her landing.

"No kidding!" Ukyo declared as she rolled off of Ranma's back and unslung her spatula, using it to deflect a wild shot that came close to her position, "We're in the middle of a Western!"

"Huh?" Ranma said as he started to recover his own wits, only to stare in dismay as he saw men running amok in some kind of primitive village, firing wildly with rifles and handguns at anything that moved, striking terror into the men, women and children all around them.

"What the hell is this?" Akane asked as she frantically moved close to protectively cover Nabiki, "These guys look like bandits!"

"Looks like-is!" Ukyo declared as she flatted the face of a bandit who got too close to her, then hurled three spatulas to disable an attack by several others, "It's a raid of some kind, and we're in the middle of the action!"

Ranma turned from watching Ukyo defend herself to see a man aiming a rifle all but in the face of a young woman who was huddling close to a somewhat older woman who was clutching a baby in her own arms, the younger girl glaring back at her would-be murderer in defiance. Instinctively he saw the man tighten his finger on the trigger and knew beyond certainty that he was about to shoot them dead, which caused something inside himself to go "snap" as he cried out in protest, "NO!"

And then the greatest teenaged martial arts master of Japan went into full combat mode, moving faster than was thought humanly possible to take the man down with a single blow, then whirl about as he saw other bandits carrying on in a similar fashion, some flashing already bloodied knives, the sight of which set him off into full combat mode as he tore into the raiders like an angry god, knocking men flying in all directions from the sheer battle rage which then possessed him.

The rest was a blur in his mind, almost like the red haze that came over him when he went into full Neko, but he dimly recalled people shooting in his direction, the hot lead whizzing by him like a swarm of angry hornets, and everything almost seeming to slow down into a crawl where he could literally see the bullets moving towards him with plenty of time left to move to the side and avoid them. His actions were swift, economical and brutal, smashing down any man who dared flash a weapon in his direction, and in minutes the surviving attackers were in full retreat, screaming in terror to escape the dangerous lunatic who seemed to fear nothing while presenting such a fearsome onslaught cutting through their numbers.

There were, of course, other men with weapons, both rifles and bows with some handguns in their midst, but these fellows seemed sensible enough to keep out of his way, having witnessed what became of a few of their most reckless brethren who did get within arms reach of the human tornado in their midst. When at last the fighting was ended an unnatural quiet fell over the village, and then Ranma vaguely recalled Akane and Ukyo approaching him, speaking calmly and reassuringly to try and ease him out of his berserker rage...but a hand laid to his shoulder was what finally brought him out of his daze. Ranma was slightly dazed as he turned around and stared at the woman standing next to him, who had bronze skin and very strange features...beautiful beyond question but with long black hair held back by a headband. She was about his age and had a very lithe build, and she oddly reminded him of someone else he knew, so much so he gasped out the word, "Sh-Shampoo...?"

And then he promptly fainted, exhaustion catching up to him at the last...

Ranma remembered coming to inside one of those hide-tents shaped like pointed cones that he had spied before, feeling a cold compress against his head. He began to stir and looked around, expecting to see Akane or some other familiar face looking down at him...only to blink in surprise at the Old Woman, feeling a slight jolt as though it were Cologne attending to his body.

The first words she spoke to him were a sure sign that it was not the Amazon Matriarch who was attending him, for they were in a foreign language, one he neither spoke nor could identity. She also wore a heavy blanket around her thin shoulders and had a weather-worn face that was as dark brown as tanned and faded leather. She smiled as she recognized his surprise, then spoke a few words to the side, and a few moments later the young girl whom he had met before moved forward to look down at him with concern in her own exotic expression.

Ranma tried to speak a few words but the girl merely smiled and put her fingers over his mouth, telling him without words that he needed to rest, but then she surprised him by speaking in halting English, a few words of which he could actually understand, "[You friends outside, I tell them you feel better.]"

As good as her word, the girl called to someone waiting just outside of the tent, and a moment later Akane and Ukyo appeared from the hide flap that covered the opening. Ukyo was the first to speak saying, "Hey, Ranchan...how are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Ranma replied, "What happened?"

"You went berserk out there and chased away those bandits," Akane winced slightly and said, "All except the ones you knocked unconscious...the Indians are dealing with them right now...it's...not pretty."

"Indians?" Ranma asked with raised eyebrows.

"Native Americans in modern parlance," Ukyo clarified, "The Aboriginal natives who lived here before the Europeans took the place over. They call themselves the Chiricahua, or something like that...I think the other term for them is Apaches."

"Apaches?" Ranma frowned slightly, racking his brain for what little he knew about American history and culture.

"You saved the wife, son and daughter of their Medicine Chief, so they're treating us like heroes," Akane smiled, "You also impressed them a lot with your one-man demolition act...are you sure you didn't see a cat anywhere about?"

"Very funny," Ranma sat up despite the attempts of the bronze-skinned girl and the old woman to detain him then said, "So...where the heck are we...and how did we get here anyway?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, Ranchan," Ukyo replied, "But Nabiki thinks that thing in the museum was some kind of magical artifact that sent us here from our own time. As far as we can tell we're in America sometime during the nineteenth century, the Wild West period that you see in those old Cowboy movies..."

"Cowboy movies?" Ranma blinked, "You mean we're in some kind of western? Hey, where is Nabiki anyway?"

"Where else?" Akane grimaced slightly at the mention of her older sister, "She talking with the tribal chief...turns out he knows some English, and she's the best English speaker of our group, so..."

"Right up her alley, huh?" Ranma sniffed in faint disgust, "Come on, let's go find her before she talks these guys out of their last yen piece."

It was nighttime outside, which meant that Ranma had been out of it a lot longer than the few minutes it had seemed from his perspective, but there were a bright fire at the center of the camp, where many of the bronze skinned warriors were gathered in a large circle, some women among them, many children hanging back at the fringes straining to hear the talk of their elders. It reminded Ranma quite a bit of another tribal village that he had visited long ago, but with the Indian girl beside him as a rather sharp reminder of that experience he tried resolutely not to think of that, insisting that circumstances were different now and he was not about to accept any challenges from cute girls wanting a strong husband. With Akane and Ukyo hovering nearby the LAST thing he needed was to go looking for any more of THAT kind of trouble!

They found Nabiki in a somewhat animated discussion with a man whose weathered features made him seem a lot older than he probably was. Next to him stood a dignified looking fellow who seemed to be agreeing with something that Nabiki was saying as Ranma, Ukyo and Akane came up to join her, and then Nabiki turned an excited look their way and said, "Guess what, you'll never believe this! These people are sitting on land that's rich in mineral treasures that they're not even using, but I think I can talk them into giving us some land concessions and..."

"I knew it," Ranma grumped in faint vindication.

"Oneesan," Akane growled disgustedly, "Would you mind concentrating on where we are and how we got here?"

"Oh yeah," Nabiki seemed to recall herself and sobered, "Near as I can tell it's the year 1872 and this is a Reservation in the territory that eventually will become the state of Arizona. Grant is still President and these people-the Apaches-are being treated like second class citizens within their own country, barely even allowed to arm themselves, in spite of the fact that they've got some nasty neighbors to the south who keep raiding their lands, like that bunch you took care of..."

"That's tough and all that," Ranma said, "But how did we get here? That thing Pop found...?"

"Must have been," Nabiki replied, "Only it didn't wind up with us. My guess is that it's still with your Dad, wherever he wound up. Since he wasn't anywhere to be seen during the battle, my guess is that he's elsewhere in time, which means..."

"Which means that we're stranded here high and dry without that doohickey," Ukyo finished for her, "So...what are we going to do about it?"

"Well, obviously these people can't do anything to help us in that capacity," Nabiki replied, "My guess is that we'd need someone who was pretty good with some mighty high level magic to send us back to our own period. While we're here, though, I figured we ought to try using our knowledge of the future to try and get a good deal so we'll be able to look after ourselves. Come have a seat, share the food, and let these people see for themselves that you're not some kind of demon."

And so, as the night grew ever darker beyond the range of the campfire, they set down to share the food these people provided, giving Ranma and his friends the kind of celebrity treatment one might give to a divine messenger, clearly impressed and obviously quite uncertain what to make of the strangers in their midst, especially of Ranma himself, who had single handedly beaten back an attack that might have cost many of their numbers. Just assuring themselves that he was human after all was necessary for their sense of well being, and even then there was some murmured talk about him being an emissary of their "Great Spirit," talk which made their Medicine Chief, a fellow named Gero-Ni-Mo, (or something like that) regard him with mingled suspicion and great interest.

"[You boy,]" this middle aged fellow said in what level of English Ranma could follow, "[Have saved my wife and daughter from the Mexicans, and for that I thank you, but why do you come to our tribe in this time and season? Your woman says that you are a mighty warrior of your tribe, but from what land do you come...this...home of the rising sun?]"

"[Uh, yeah,]" Ranma replied in his own halting English, "{That's what we call it...]"

"[Very strange,]" the man named Geronimo replied, "[A land where the sun rises in the morning...and to the West of these lands? Such a thing makes little sense, but we have seen with our own eyes how capable you are as a fighter. What can we do for you and your women to repay you for saving our people?]"

"[Ah...not necessary,]" Ranma replied, "[We just need to get home...Nabiki?]"

"[Right,]" she replied with a nod, smoothly taking over, "[We need to find our way back to our own country, so we need to get transportation back to Japan...so...do you guys have any useful suggestions?]"

"[Nothing that we can suggest, Woman,]" the Chief besides Geronimo replied, "[None here have ever traveled in one of the great ships of the White Men, which brought them to our shores in the long ago past and have caused so much misery for the people of the land...]"

"[First the Spaniards, then the Settlers from the East who come to take our land and drive us from our native soil,]" Geronimo complained like a well-rehearsed litany that he could have recited in his sleep, "[Why do they hate us so? We have never tried to take anything from them! We have abided by the treaty they made us sign and have never made war against the Whites, even when they violate our borders, inflict on us their Missionaries, try to steal away our culture, language and heritage, and even take from our soil the very heart of the Mother...]"

"[Missionaries!]" another brave spat the word with venom, "[They might as well shoot us with their guns as attempt to convince us that they steal the heart from the Mother in the name of the Great Spirit...]"

"[The what?]" Akane asked, having only partially followed the few bits of English that she could comprehend.

"[You mean those minerals I mentioned to you before,]" Nabiki understood, "[Those prospectors who invade your country looking for gold, silver, copper and pitchblende?]"

"[What is...pitchblende?]" the Chief asked with a faintly puzzled expression.

'[Uh...never mind,]" Nabiki said a bit hastily, "[Just take my word for it, in a couple of generations the stuff will be worth a fortune. In fact...say that's it! I should have mentioned this before...but I think I see what your problem is, guys...]"

"[You do?]" Geronimo pondered.

"[The reason why the White Man doesn't take you very seriously,]" Nabiki replied, "[You've got no clout...no economic leverage, no means of buying their votes, of making them pay attention, of jumping through your hoops, doing what they can to please you, passing laws that will protect your rights and keep the claim jumpers off your territory. And-best of all-it's an election year...a time when spreading the wealth can get the best results for your dollars...]"

"[Dollars?]" the Chief visibly blinked.

"[You mean round shiny coins and paper money that White Chief back East use to buy trade goods?]" Geronimo asked with an equally puzzled reaction.

"[We don't need any of this...what did you call it? Clout?]" a warrior said stoutly, "[We are strong, we are of the land, we are the people...we are Chiricahua...]"

"[Uh huh,]" Nabiki replied in a droll, unimpressed tone of voice, "[And-just for conversation purposes-how many warriors do you have in your number?]"

"[Seventy-eight strong, brave fighters,]" Geronimo replied, "[And many more in other villages of the Chiricahua nation...]"

"[Right,]" Nabiki replied, "[And...tell me something, Great Medicine Chief...have you ever heard of a place back east called Gettysburg?]"

"[No,]" Geronimo frowned, "[Where is that?]"

"[Just a small place in the State of Pennsylvania where a major battle was fought during the American war between the states,]" she replied with deceptive calm, "[Lasted for three days, had over a hundred thousand men on both sides going at it with guns, cannon, cavalry and infantry...more than five thousand men died and are buried now in a place called Arlington, at least five times that many were injured, it was the turning point in their war where the North began to win against the South. You can ask anyone from back East about it, it's one of the most famous battles ever fought on American soil, even had a great speech dedicated to the memory of those killed in all the fighting.]"

It was amazing how many crickets could be heard in the utter dead silence that followed this pronouncement as the Chiricahua reflected on this revelation, and then one brave spoke up in his native language, "My English is a little rusty...is five thousand a lot more than seventy-eight?"

"[I see,]" Geronimo said at last, "[Um...what was that you were saying about mineral rights again?]"

"[It's simple really,]" Nabiki smiled, sensing that she had her audience hooked but good (and to think, her classmates back at Furinkan had thought she was crazy spending so much time research into American culture!), "[They call it the Golden Rule...whoever has the Gold makes the Rules...and I take it you know what gold means to the White Man, right?]"

There were ascended nods from all around. They indeed knew the power that minerals taken from the ground could have to influence the behavior of White People. Many found this obsession to be peculiar, but if White People were willing to trade blankets and firewater for a few shiny nuggets found in dry streams and river beds, who were they to argue? It did not take much persuading on Nabiki's part to get them to see the possibilities of mining some of this shiny metal for themselves, especially if it meant removing it from places where the Whites would most likely stake a claim...and with enough gold and silver in their pockets, the Indians could well buy themselves much-needed legal protection.

Negotiations from that point onward became more friendly, but Ranma personally found the whole thing boring as hell and wandered off to explore parts of the camp on his own, after accepting some buffalo meat and corn-based okonomiyaki (which Ukyo cooked up as an experiment, just to see if she could do it). Akane found the Chiricahua to be a fascinating Aboriginal people with their customs so different from Japanese ways, and she wound up talking to the Old Medicine woman about such things, which made Ranma feel more than a bit excluded from the run of that conversation.

To his surprise he found himself in the company of the girl whom he had rescued, whose name-roughly translated-meant "[Running Bear]" in English. Ranma then tried explaining his own name as it might sound in English, but Running Bear's grasp was even more shaky than his own, and she wound up turning "Wild Horse" into "[Crazy Horse,]" a term that described the crazed way in which he had driven off the Mexicans. Ranma decided not to quibble about it and wound up actually listening to the girl as she tried to explain about her father, a great hero to their people, whose name meant "[Breaking Wind,]" a joke that had been given to him when he was a younger man and had foolishly disrupted a tribal council.

Apparently Geronimo was also infamous with the Mexicans, or Revolutionaries, as they might insist on calling themselves (Running Bear was very scathing in tone about this subject). She explained how her real mother and younger sister had died many years ago at the hands of a band of Mexican raiders. She had only survived herself by the efforts of their tribal Medicine Woman, who had more-or-
less adopted her as her own while her father went off to make war against the people who had attacked their village. After many years of successful campaigning against those "Revolutionaries" from down south, the government of the United States-in agreement with the government of Mexico-had insisted on putting a stop to her father's raids and forced the Chiricahua to disarm and go to live on a reservation that barely sustained them. After many years of chaffing under Army regulation, many warriors were ready to bolt the county and go on a rampage, but her father had managed to keep wise council with the help of his co-ruler, the War Chief, which whom they both shared strong influence in the Chiricahua council.

Her father tried valiantly to be a man of peace, but there were days when the strain was telling. Running Bear herself wanted to test her mark as a warrior but held back her own outrage in deference to her father, though one of these days they all knew that trouble with the Whites would be forthcoming. Until this day it had been looking as if war were a definite possibility, but now Nabiki had opened new possibilities that had never before been considered for their tribal council, and it at last seemed possible that they could maintain the peace while getting the Whites off their collective backs if this bold plan could be put into operation.

Running Bear also explained that she had taken her survival of hardship as a sign that she was meant to help her father in some as-yet unknown capacity, that the Great Spirit and their Ancestors had chosen to look out for her for some special purpose. Because of this conviction she had become both a warrior and a healer, studying the ways of the Medicine Woman while doing her best to feed the tribe and ward off raids by enemies intent on harming her people.

She also professed a curiosity about the fighting style Ranma had displayed. She could wrestle with the best of the men in her tribe, but Ranma's skills easily surpassed their strongest fighter, so she asked if Ranma would demonstrate more of his style to her, a request that Ranma found difficult to turn down, as much as he secretly suspected that he would be courting trouble to comply with her wishes. That he did so at all was proof positive of the persistence of a Saotome, who might well learn from past mistakes but tends not to do so out of a combination of stubborn nobility and an noted inability to say "No" to any woman.

As it turned out his willingness to teach Running Bear a few moves did indeed land him into trouble, but not from either Ukyo or Akane. Geronimo and his War Chief, Great Bear, took notice of the way the willful girl (who was both a source of pride and vexation to her father) seemed eager to spend time in the company of this powerful stranger.

"Well, what do you think, Old Friend?" Chief Great Bear asked in the Chiricahua language.

"She is young but obviously very taken with this stranger," Geronimo somberly noted, "He must have been sent to us by the Great Spirit for a reason...but my daughter obviously has her own ideas of what that purpose must be."

"It might be the will of the Great Spirit," Great Bear nodded, "Or possibly the mischief of Coyote and Raven going at it. Either way, this is the first time your daughter has even looked at a man for some purpose other than sharpening her knife."

"True," Geronimo also nodded, "She is rash and headstrong, but it is good to see her look favorably upon a man for a change, and this warrior has something about him that definitely turns the heads of the ladies. Reminds me a bit of what I was like when I was that age...Ancestors forgive me..."

"She is young and headstrong but could bear many children from such a strong husband," Great Bear pointed out, "And don't you think it's time she settled down and got herself a life? The girl's nearly eighteen, for pity's sake, you want her to die an old maid?"

"I still think it would be rushing things a bit," Geronimo sighed, "She is all that I have left of her mother...but if being with this man makes her happy, then I suppose it would be blasphemous of me to object."

"It is for the best interests of our people," Great Bear judged, "And how could any woman resist such a great fighter? A man who commands the loyalty of three such formidable Squaws as those who follow him must be a man worth respecting...Great Spirit knows I have enough trouble with just one Squaw for a wife!"

Geronimo nodded faintly, "That he is a man who has already won three brave Squaws to his credit. A forth wife might well suit him, if Running Bear is agreeable to such a union."

"How could she refuse such a great fighter?" Great Bear asked, "And with this stranger on our side, it would be very good for the Chiricahua...especially with this Squaw of his who talks like a slippery tongued devil but makes a lot of sense when you really listen."

"All true," Geronimo sighed philosophically, "Oh well...at least he isn't a White boy..."

"I don't know how you do it, Saotome," Nabiki winced, "It's gotta be a natural gift, or a curse..."

"Probably the latter," Ranma agreed as they made it to the promised shelter, his mind snapping back to the present, "And it ain't my fault! It was her Dad who tried to engage us!"

"Yeah, but you're the one who refused her, Sugar," Ukyo growled, "You hurt her pride...couldn't you have found a nicer way to do it?"

"Hey, there was no reason for her to get this angry!" Ranma insisted, "How was I to know that big party they held was supposed to be a wedding?"

"A likely story!" Akane growled, "That sure didn't keep you from sleeping with her, you Pervert!"

"I didn't sleep with her, okay?" Ranma insisted, then paused, "Well...okay, I did...but nothing happened! I just woke up with a hangover in the morning and with her in bed next to me under that buffalo blanket!"

"Yeah, stark naked no less!" Ukyo hissed in deadly undertone, "Running Bear sure lived up to her name when she went chasing after us in the morning, all because you didn't have the guts to break up with her gently...Sugar!"

"Knock it off, you three!" Nabiki snapped, "In case you forgotten, she's out to make a trophy out of you, Ranma!"

"Okay, I get the point," Ranma growled, "I'll go talk to her and try to get her to calm down..."

"Just don't try anything with her, Mister," Akane growled ominously.

"Yeah, if you know what's good for you, Ranchan," Ukyo warned, gritting her teeth as she said this.

Ranma just rolled his eyes and asked, "Why me?"

"Clean living, no doubt," Nabiki answered, "Just remember, you owe me for blowing a great deal we could have back there, so don't get yourself killed or I really will be irritated."

"Your concern overwhelms me," Ranma grumbled as he stepped out into the open, hands raised in a disarming manner as he turned to look up on the roof, only to find Running Bear had vanished, "Huh? Where did she...?"

All at once a figure came swooping down from the rafters to lash out with a double-kick that caught Ranma by surprise and sent him sprawling into the middle of the road. With a flourish that would have done credit to a gymnast, Running Bear executed a perfect dismount and landed on top of him, drawing her knife and hold it up to his throat as she growled down at him, "[Going somewhere...Husband?]"

"[Uh...can't we talk about this?]" Ranma asked before he gripped her knife-hand and twisted, then kicked with both feet off the ground and tumbled the girl off of his body, the both of them landing on their feet and confronting one another, "[Look...if it's about me taking off like that...?]"

"[You embarrass me in front of father!]" Running Bear cried, switching her knife to her other hand as she shook the one he'd gripped to restore some feeling to her fingers, "[You make me laughing stock of tribe, and you want talk about it?!]"

"[Uh...look,]" Ranma tried again, "[It really wasn't like that...]"

"[Why you no tell me you have great Medicine that change you into Woman?]" Running Bear asked in an accusatory tone of voice, "[You want make me look like cousin Running Water, who had thing for Little Flower and won't take any Man for husband?]"

"[Uh...um...er...]" Ranma stammered as he tried to think of a good response to that.

"Gee, Sugar," Ukyo suddenly leaned an arm against his shoulder, giving him a droll look that would have looked more appropriate to Nabiki, "How exactly are you gonna field that one?"

"You could have at least told her about your curse before we left her village," Akane also growled with arms folded over her chest, "But NOOOO...the great and powerful Saotome Ranma just hears the word 'Fianc e' and has to slink away at the first sign of some cold water!"

"With tail between legs no less," Nabiki also appeared at their side, turning to Running Bear and saying, "[We're sorry, it was all a misunderstanding. Your father and people just surprised us, that's all. We never intended to cause you any distress...can you find it in your heart to forgive our Baka friend over there?]"

"[No!]" Running Bear scowled at Nabiki, "[And what of you...you like having Man who turn into girl for Husband?]"

The question caught the middle Tendo girl by surprise, "[H-Husband?]"

"[He's our Fianc e, Sugar,]" Ukyo clarified, "[He hasn't yet walked down the aisle with any of us just yet.]"

"[What matter?]" Running Bear frowned, "[Him afraid of commitment?]"

"[Like you wouldn't believe,]" Akane replied in a droll tone of voice while Ranma wore a sheepish expression and tried not to give offense to any of the potentially lethal ladies who comprised his current companions.

"[It's like this,]" Ukyo sighed, "[His dad made a promise to our fathers that one of us was going to wind up as his wife, and ever since we've been fighting it out with at least two other girls trying to decide which of us Ranchan's gonna eventually marry...]"

"[So what problem?]" Running Bear asked, "[Why he not marry all of you?]"

"[Ah...it's not that simple,]" Nabiki replied, smoothly regaining her composure, "[The laws in our time make it impossible for more than one of us to marry Ranma...of course, in the days before the Meiji restoration, it was technically feasible for a Samurai to have more than one wife at the same time...]"

"[Huh?]" Ranma blinked, "[W-what are you saying, Nabiki?]"

"Huh?" she blinked as if surprised at her own statement, "Um, nothing...just talking out loud," she shifted back to English and said, "[Ukyo was betrothed to Ranma-kun when they were both small kids, but his Dad also made a promise to our Dad before any of us were born that one of us would get to marry Ranma-kun, and Akane here was selected...]"

"[Not by choice,]" Akane growled, "[You and Kasumi decided that for me.]"

"[So what you claim on my Man?]" Running Bear kept her gaze narrow towards Nabiki.

"[Uh...well...he's going to be my brother-in-law, after all,]" Nabiki stammered, certain that she did not like the thing the other girl's glare was implying, "[And I'm practically the guy's Agent! He's my principal moneymaking source of income back home...]"

"[Not by my choice,]" Ranma sourly grumbled.

"[Go pull other leg,]" Running Bear sniffed, "[You think born yesterday? You no warrior, but you want protect Husband as much as these two. You no fool one with Sight, you after him whether you no want to say so or not, Fork-tongue.]"

"[W-W-Why...that's ridiculous!]" Nabiki sputtered, "[I'm not out to marry Ranchan...]"

"I don't know about that, Sugar," Ukyo shifted back to Japanese, "You two were engaged for a couple of weeks there, I seem to remember..."

"Yeah," Akane glared, "And at the time I thought you were pretty convincing, even if you called it all an act later..."

Nabiki visibly sweated as she endured the stares of her violent sister and the tomboyish chef, but it was Ranma's blank stare which she most dreaded. As she tried to think of something intelligent to say, however, Running Bear relaxed her posture and put away her knife, clearly coming to her own decision, based on recent observations.

"[Well then, you can stop fighting about him,]" she smiled, "[If he no commit to you, then he is my husband. After all...him marry me last night with blessings of Medicine Chief father.]"

"SAY WHAT?" Ranma and his three lady companions chorused together, collectively sensing that their troubles in this timeline were only just beginning...

Continued.

Comments/Criticisms/Chiricahua Mineral Concessions: shadowmane

The Wild West Gets even wilder next time out when Ranma and his "Fianc e Gang" mix it up with some ranchers in a dispute that is almost legendary, but will they come out on top of the pile or just be one step ahead of the Posse? Tune in next time for: "At Home on the Range," or "Close You Ears, I think I Hear a Discouraging Word Coming!" Be there!

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