Take that Journey: Ashley's Story

By: Nicole Lopez

Summary: Ashley is sick and tired of being Miss Doom and Gloom. She'll do whatever it takes to be happy ... to make everyone else think that she's happy, when she's really not. What happens when a painful path of suppressing her feelings leads her to the darkest point in her life?

Chapter One: You Don't Have to Be Sad

"Hey you." Manny smiled, embracing Craig tightly. He had finally come to his senses and left Ashley in order to take care of his responsibilities.

"You look beautiful." Manny rolled her eyes.

"Liar. I'm starting to get fat." Four months into her pregnancy, and Manny was finally starting to show. She had remained fairly small until that point, working out at every possible moment. "Only five more months." She rubbed her stomach gently.

"Yeah." Craig looked deeply into her eyes, knowing that he was going to spend the rest of his life with Manny ... knowing that they would always be connected by their baby. Craig took Manny's hand in his, kissing it softly. "Forever." He whispered.

It was sickening. Just looking at Craig and Manny together ... her stomach protruding, but she still looked so happy. That was the life that Ashley Kerwin should've had. She'd been robbed. Everything that he had said to her was a lie ... everything in her life made her depressed just thinking about it. All of her so-called friends had left her behind once they figured out that she couldn't get over Craig. Ashley had loved him like she had never loved anyone before. She was willing to give up her virginity to him ... and everything ...

"I hate that word," She mumbled, pushing cold spaghetti around her plate.

"Yeah, me too." Nick butted in, sitting beside her.

"Shouldn't you be off with some of your friends ... you know someone who actually likes you?" Ashley snapped, relieved yet angered by his presence.

"I came to give the Queen of Doom company." He took a huge bite out of his burger, completely fixated on Ashley.

"Don't you get the hint? I want to be alone." She started to pack her things and get up.

"I needed to talk to you."

"About what? What could you possibly have to say to me that would make me interested ... at all?" Ashley looked away from him, swearing off boys completely ... although he had that whole tall, dark, and handsome Italian thing going ... she wasn't biting. At all.

"I can help you." Nick responded between bites of his burger and fries.

"Oh really. So you're my knight in shining armor? No thanks. I'm not like that. Go chase after Manny if you want someone that's easy." Ashley stood up, pulling her messenger bag over her shoulder.

"Ouch." Nick stood up as well. "Just hear me out... I know how you're life's hell lately and you don't have to be sad all the time. That's what everyone expects."

"Yeah, that's how I feel. You've never had someone you love cheat on you, get someone else pregnant, and stay with that person, have you?

"Naw. That's physically impossible." Nick joked. "But seriously, consider being happy once in a while ..."

"And what am I supposed to do, fake it?"

"Do you honestly think Paige and her crew are happy all the time? No one is. Everyone's lying out of their asses. If you want something more out of your life ... make it happen."

"What are you, Mr. Miracle man?"

"No, but I think it's a damn shame that someone who has so much going for them, like you do, is hung up over some asshole." Ashley smiled, a small, slight, almost invisible one, for the first time in a while.

"I'm not hung up over him." She walked off, hoping that he didn't see her smile, and the fact that his hopefulness was somewhat contagious ... Ashley didn't want him to get the wrong idea.

"Hey, meet me after 7th period if you want some real fun." Nick had said this same thing to her so many times in the past two months and she had completely decided against skipping for any reason.

(A/N: Just a beginning to a whole lot of self-discovery and drama for Ashley ... I was thinking about writing a mini-story- 10 chapters or less- about other Degrassi characters too. Review and comment if you're interested!! --NL)