A/N: This is a wild idea I literally just had.

If you like it-REVIEW because I'm not certain if I will continue it.

Prologue: Forget that the Quarter Quell and Rebellion happened. In this story, it did not.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.

Breathe: Chapter 1

Peeta POV

Some things don't change. As the scenery goes by while I daydream out the window, I think that to myself. The view looks the same. All the Districts flashing by me in my travels. It's the people that change. I hope so. I certainly hope so...

We've been back a little over a month now and I can't stand it. Katniss and I have hardly spoken. In fact, I would almost think that she's going out of her way to avoid me. After we arrived home, we quickly moved into our respective houses in Victor's Village. I was almost relieved that my family chose not to move in with me and instead decided to remain living above the Bakery. Mrs. Everdeen and Primrose were all too happy to escape the poverty of the Seam and they moved what they had for belongings in less than a day.

When we first got back, I tried to talk to Katniss. Of course we got all swept up in the media and the reuniting with our family members. It wasn't more than a day or so when I saw Katniss sneaking out of her house and heading towards where the District 12 fence lays. She was already sneaking away to hunt with Gale. I eventually learned through Primrose that Katniss only sees Gale on Sundays. How convenient. She doesn't see me at all. And that's where my problem begins.

I am crushed.

It didn't take me long to figure out that Katniss used me to survive the Games. It's a really bum deal when you survive something so traumatic, lose half your leg, your family feels uncomfortable around you, you have crazy lucid nightmares and the girl you're in love with, the one you thought reciprocated your feelings; gives you the cold shoulder. Makes you wonder why you even bothered to get out of bed in the first place.

My mind has been playing tricks on me. Going over every moment of the Games to determine whether there were more clear warning signs that Katniss used me. I don't see them. She's obviously a great actress. If I didn't, hadn't, loved her so much; then this wouldn't hurt so bad.

After nearly three months of being back and struggling with my constant inner monologue over Katniss, I find myself at Haymitch's house one night. We get hammered on white liquor and I decide that I like how I feel after wards. I feel numb to the pain of losing the only girl that I ever loved, at least for the short while that the booze courses through my veins.

I make a habit of drinking. Some would say even more than Haymitch. Delly calls all the time but I can barely answer the phone, much less carry on a conversation. I jerk off repeatedly. Alternating in my mind, visions of Katniss to propel me towards a release. Some days she's sweet and shy, others, she's a vixen. Either way it fills a void. The booze and the masturbation. That is, until that fateful day.

We were about a month away from the Victory Tour and my drinking had progressed to the point where it was out of control. I wasn't myself. I wasn't even human really. I was so cocked and dejected half the time because Katniss had fallen through my fingers that I could barely get out of bed most days. It was very easy to feel sorry for myself. Sixteen years old, missing a leg, girl I love not speaking to me. Yeah, life pretty much sucked. I suppose I should be grateful for my life, but a life without Katniss, just didn't appeal to me at all.

One night I happen to be in my living room, stumbling around drunk when I saw her sneak out of her house. My mind went wild and I could only think the harshest things in terms of her. She' sneaking out to fuck around with Gale. Not me, Gale. Mental images run through my head of Gale kissing Katniss, running his hands all over her soft body. My mind flashes back to our train ride home, when I held her that night in her compartment. She had had a nightmare and I went to wake her and comfort her. After she calmed down, she had asked, "Stay with me Peeta?" to which I replied, "Always."

It feels like so long ago when in truth it's only been a matter of months. I can't help but feel so alone and unloved. I just want someone to hold me, tell me it's going to be alright. I can't stand the loneliness anymore. I heave on my shoes and grab my jacket and head out of the house towards the center of town. I know where my feet are taking me but I try not to over think my actions and just let myself go.

I arrive outside of Head Peacekeeper Cray's in a matter of less than ten minutes. There are about ten girls waiting outside, begging to be chosen by him. My eyes zero in on her as soon as I see her and I motion for her to follow me. We walk behind the Bakery and it's then that I take notice of her. She easily resembles Katniss. If I closed my eyes, I bet she would feel similar to Katniss too. I place several coins into her hand. "Please tell no one about this. Understood?" I say and she nods in understanding.

I waste no time in letting her know what I want, right there in the alley. I need a release, and not by my own hand. I crash my lips to hers and discover there's an immediate difference as hers are very chapped. She doesn't feel like Katniss at all so far but I push the thought to the back of my mind and try to get lost in my fantasy behind closed eyes. I taker her hand and place it outside of my crotch and she begins to rub my erection.

I don't know if she's ever done this before and I don't care. I unzip my pants and her hand easily slides into my jeans and grips my cock in her hands. She begins to stroke me up and down awkwardly. As great as it feels, I decide to have some pity for the girl and not have sex with her. For all I know she's in love with some Seam boy and is simply doing what she must to secure her next meal. I wiggle my pants down a bit and guide her head to my member. She doesn't hesitate to take me into her mouth and suck my dick.

I feel amazing and disgusting all at once. Still trying to conjure the beautiful image of Katniss while I work towards a release. I feel myself moving closer when I hear the gasp. It's a sound that could be heard around the world. I look over to my left and see Katniss with her hands on her face in shock and tears running down her face. I push this brunette girl away from me and scramble to pull my pants up. It's too late though. Katniss has seen everything. "KATNISS, WAIT! PLEASE, WAIT!" I scream as I rush to catch up with her.

It's not easy but somehow a higher power gives me the strength to run after her on what's left of my leg. I finally catch her about 25 yards past the fence, the bright moon shining down on us. I grab her arm with my hand and spin her around. She hauls off and hits me square on my left cheek. She'll leave a welt, but I deserve it. She's fighting me, trying to escape my grasp but I'm stronger than her, much stronger and now that I have her in my arms, I'm not letting go.

"STOP! JUST STOP! HEAR ME OUT KATNISS! JUST HEAR ME OUT!" I beg. She finally stops her squirming but I don't release my grip on either of her arms. She looks into my blue eyes dead center with her gray ones. We both take deep breaths, trying to steady ourselves. Breath, Peeta. Calm down.

I don't know what to do so I just spill my guts like a squirrel she's about to skin.

"I have been in love with you since I was five years old. Did you hear that? Five years old. I was such a chicken shit, could never get up enough nerve to even speak to you. Then I give you the bread in the rain and say a prayer that my luck will change and that I'll be able to talk to you, even be friends with you. No dice. You had a scowl as usual on your face and I was a chicken-opportunity passed. Then we're in the games and I confess all during my interview. There was no plan at that time Katniss. That was real. Haymitch just ran with it to keep you alive. Yes, I told him to focus on you."

"So everything happens in the Games and needless to say, I'm elated thinking you feel the same way about me. We make it through by some miracle and then get home. What do you do? You hop on the 'I'm ignoring Peeta band wagon!' You pretend like I don't exist and that you had no feelings for me. It was a horrible blow to my heart, not to mention my ego Katniss. I have spent the past five months over analyzing my every move to figure out what I did wrong but come up short. What did I do wrong? Huh? Tell me, I want to know. What. The. Fuck. Did. I. Do. Wrong?"

Katniss clears her throat and wets her lips. "You didn't do anything wrong Peeta. Nothing. I did what I had to do to get us out of the Games and home. When we got here, it all came crashing down around me. It was real and I now had to deal with it. I have never wanted to fall in love, get married, have kids. It's not me. I saw what happened to my mother when she lost my father and I don't want that anguish for myself. Of losing the man that I love. So when we got back and I had to confront all of these new feelings for you, I had a few realizations. One, was that I've crushed on you since that day in the rain, when you saved my life. Imagine my shock that I was already four years into a crush on you. Second, my feelings about marriage and kids hadn't changed, even though you were now in the equation. And third, since I wasn't going to budge on marriage, I was going to let you go. So that you could find a nice girl and have a family of your own someday. So I did. I kept my distance and did my best to stay away from you, no matter how badly I wanted you. I have always wanted you Peeta. It..."

I still have her arms in my hands and I just crash my lips to hers. I want to feel her. All of her.

Katniss fights me a bit and I let her arms go. She tried to pull away from our kiss, but I'm persistent and continue to kiss her everywhere I can reach. The only thought running through my mind is that I want her. Katniss is no longer putting up a fight. I'm certain her inner struggle is raging though. I am so bold now as to place my hand over her pussy and rub through her pants. Katniss moans. Once I hear that, I unbutton them, seeking her folds. I'm met by a wonderful surprise to discover she is wet. Very wet.

I stroke her with my finger and then yank her pants down. I unbutton mine and shimmy them down my legs. We both kneel to the ground and I quickly glide on top of her. I don't even give a shit how cold it is although we are kind of laying on our discarded pants.

I rub my cock over her wet folds and insert myself into her, not even playing with her first. She gasps when I enter her but she opens her legs wider to receive me. I never break our kiss and I wrap my hands around her, and rest my fingers cupping her shoulder. Katniss pulls at the back of my shirt and runs her hands up and down my back, dragging her nails. I start pumping into her, breaking her hymen, and then I can't stand it anymore. I pump into her, savoring her tight walls and the feel of her, until I feel her come on me and I quickly release myself inside her.

When it's over, we stare at each other and then a sick feeling washes over me. She let me go. She didn't want to be with me. She didn't want to marry or have children. She didn't want me. I wanted her. Oh my god, I did this to her, not with her. I don't know what I see in her eyes but I can't wait around for the hate to creep in. I just can't. I have to go. I have to stop all of this.

She let me go. I have to do the same for her. I have to. I just have to.

I get up, pull on my pants and button them and I start running for the fence. I hear Katniss calling me from behind. "PEETA, WAIT! PLEASE WAIT!" I ignore her and just run back to my house. I burst through the door and up to my bedroom. I grab my bag and toss some clothes inside it. I scribble a note and leave it on the dresser next to my bed. "I'm so sorry.I will always love you Katniss..." it reads. I head down the stairs and run to the train station. It begins to roll as soon as I get there but I yell to wait and the attendant helps me hop it. "Where to Mr. Mellark?" he asks. "The Capitol, thank you." I reply.

When I arrive in the Capitol two days later, I walk directly to the Training Center and come face to face with Effie. I end up boarding in my old room and a few days after wards, I am summoned to a meeting with President Snow.

"Young Peeta. Please have a seat." Snow beckons me to a rather lush looking desk chair upon my entry to his office. I sit and his snakelike eyes glare at me. He also takes a seat and folds his hand together while I take in the sight of his white hair and repulsive rose on his lapel. "I see Miss. Everdeen is not with you. Care to explain?"

"We broke up. We are not together anymore." I shrug like it's no big deal. Snow doesn't look amused.

"Well, this poses a problem Mr. Mellark. A problem indeed. You see, two victors NEVER win. You both did because you were in love and pulled Seneca's heart string right at the right moment. Normally, when a victor wins, they spend a great deal of time in the Capitol entertaining citizens that I set them up with. 'Dates' so to speak, do you get my drift?" I nod, he continues. "Now that you have broken up, this poses a problem. It needs to be explained and rectified. Are you willing to be the one that does it?"

I stare at him. He's asking me if I'm willing to be a Capitol whore. I sigh. "If I promise to do it, 'entertain' people, do you promise to leave Katniss out of everything? No Victory Tour, no visits, no entertaining and no harm to her our our loved ones. Just leave her alone in District 12 to move on with her life?"

Snow considers my proposal. "So, you're the one who was true and she was not. Ah, young love. Always so fickle. This may work for me. We will announce on the upcoming Victory Tour that Katniss Everdeen broke your heart and that you've embraced the life of a Victor. That you support the Capitol. There's been a bit of unrest over the berry incident but this should calm the citizens down. I'm willing if you are. No harm to her or your families. I can live with that. Do we have a deal?" He extends his hand to shake mine and I do, firmly and reply, "Yes."

Ten Years Later...

The letter is delivered by my avox, Daniel, and I see that it's from my father. I open it frantically and read it carefully.

"Peeta, I'm sick, please come home..."

My mother had died five years ago from an unusual flu strain and I did not attend the funeral. After everything that she had ever put me through, I just couldn't do it. I haven't been back to District 12 since I left. I haven't spoken to Katniss or Haymitch, and only occasionally do I speak to my father or brothers. We have all gone on with our lives. I have however become best friends with Finnick Odair, Victor of the 65th Hunger Games. He' s a Capitol whore like me but unlike me, he has his true love at home waiting for him after every visit, Annie Cresta. She won the 70th Hunger Games.

I pick up my phone and call Effie to pass a message onto Snow that I must return home to tend to my father. I will be back as soon as I can. Effie agrees that this is best and tells me that my train will leave the station in an hour. I throw some clothes in my bag and trek to the station. It's a two day ride to get home. Home. It feels so foreign to say the word about District 12. That's where I left my heart. That's where I left Katniss, because it's what she wanted.

I take in the scenery as we roll in and remark that some things don't change. I grab my bag and walk towards my house. I open the door and discover that the furniture has been covered with sheets but that everything is exactly where I left it. I walk up the stairs to my room and place my bag on the bed. I look around and then I remember the note that I left for Katniss. It's gone. At least she knew that I loved her.

I descend the stairs and smack into something broad chested, Haymitch. "Hi Haymitch." I say. He looks at me and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. Then he punches me in the face. It knocks me a few steps back but I deserve it for the way I left, my behavior beforehand and for not calling in ten years. He walks past me like I wasn't even there in the first place. I rub my jaw and watch him walk away.

I head into town and go straight to the Bakery. The bell dings to signal arrival and my father comes out of the back room. "Coming", he calls out. When he sees me, he embraces me in a tight hug that nearly picks me up off the ground. I hug him back heartily. After a few moments, he coughs and I pat his back trying to help him while he pushes me to the side. Once he's breathing normal again, I try to find out what's wrong with him. He stops me, as if in a hurry and says "Peeta, I have to tell you something." He's cut off by the door dinging and signaling a customer.

"Grandpa, I've got those strawberries you love so much! Come on Mom, you're so slow!" She calls over her shoulder. In walks a very beautiful young girl with dirty blonde hair in a single braid down her back and striking blue eyes. I swear I see flecks of gray in them. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees me and drops the strawberries. They scatter all over the floor.

"You're so impatient Evan, I told you to wait for me to skin the squirrels before we visit Grandpa." In walks Katniss, looking beautiful and radiant,with two squirrels dangling from her hands. When she sees me she drops them too.

I stand there, completely confused. Did this girl just call Katniss 'Mom'? The smile on my face fades as I realize that Katniss did in fact embrace the life that I had wanted with her.

"Peeta", she says.

"Katniss", I whisper.

"Daddy." My eyes flash to the young girl who just mouthed a word I never thought I would ever hear in reference to myself. Katniss looks panicked as I take it all in. My god she's about ten years old.

Her eyes.

They're mine.

Just breathe.

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