"This will convince them for sure!"
Leo strode triumphantly into Prints Plus, full of smug satisfaction that his attempts to expose Marcus for the evil creep he was would go ignored no longer—
And halted when he got to the nearest copy machine and saw exactly how many gajillion buttons were on it.
No matter; Leo was a terrible excuse for a brilliant inventor and bionic supergenius's (step) son and brother if he couldn't figure out a measly copy-machine.
Okay, so his photo of Marcus (obtained with Leo's best private eye skills) went here, and that there was obviously—probably—possibly the eject slot—paper feed—random slit that was just there to make things confusing—
"Why does technology hate me?!"
"Do you need some help?"
Leo jumped as a voice chirped politely from behind him. He turned around, grinning nonchalantly and hoping he hadn't just dramatically screamed skyward yelled at a copy machine as loudly as he thought he'd just yelled at a copy machine.
The young woman behind him, wearing a Prints Plus uniform and a name tag, smiled a wide smile at him.
Too wide, maybe? Sheesh, she looked like a toothpaste commercial. Still, he could use some—a little!—help.
"Uh, yeah. I think this machine is broken."
She smiled down at the control panel, blinked, and peered more closely at it, poking a few buttons in confusion.
Yup, it was obvious the machine was malfunc—
"What did you do? It looks like you plugged in a bunch of scrambled half-orders…and that's not the paper feed—"
"I knew it!"
The girl eyed him.
"Ahem. I mean, that clearly is not the paper feed."
"Then why did you obviously try to—" The assistant visibly remembered the customer is always right. "But mistakes happen! Let's just try again, shall we? What are you trying to print?"
"Uh…"
Leo shuffled a few steps away from the manically smiling woman. This chick was either taking PR training to seriously, or a budding serial killer. Still, he had a confirmed psychopath he needed to deal with first and foremost.
"I'm trying to make evidence so large it is glaringly obvious that it is irrefutable," he said loftily.
He gathered up his photos—they'd gotten scattered everywhere when he was fighting with the Copy Machine of Doom—and held up the one he wanted, a nice full-body shot of Marcus standing, arms crossed, a scowl on his face, and looking as evil as only he could.
The shop-girl's smile froze, faltered. She stared at him for a long moment, eyes flicking to the photo, then searching his face.
"A giant sign didn't work, and neither did a cake with Marcus's face on it, so I'm thinking one of those cardboard cutouts they have for movie stars and stuff. Except if this were a movie, Marcus would clearly be the villain, while I would be the clever but long-suffering hero because…no one…why are you smiling so much? Is that even a smile? Are you having a seizure or something?"
The young woman stopped making that bizarre noise that could best be described as squeeeeeeee, lowering her hands into a demure clasp and taking a deep breath. The smile she wore now was less starchedly polite, yet somehow scarier. She looked way too excited for some reason.
"Th-this copy machine can't handle cardboard, but if you'll come over to this machine here, I can easily make you a cut-out of your boyfriend."
Leo blinked.
The girl stopped when she realized he wasn't following her, looking back at him in innocent confusion.
"You did say you wanted a cut-out, didn't you?"
"Marcus isn't my boyfriend!"
Leo's head spun. He'd just come here with his photo-folder to make a life-size cardboard cut-out of Marcus so he could convince his family the guy was evil; how had this crazy lady gotten the idea he and Marcus were—were—
"O-ooh, so you just have a crush on him."
"No. So definitely no."
The woman continued on to the machine and Leo hurried after, wanting to get his evidence printed and be out of here as quick as he could. Why was there only one assistant in the entire store? At least there weren't too many customers either; hopefully none of them were close enough to have heard her insane assumptions.
"Oh no, it's okay! I think it's really sweet that you love this guy enough you'd want to do something like this. Is he everything your heart's ever wanted?"
"What are you on? I told you; Marcus is not my boyfriend. He's an evil, manipulating charmer who just flashes a beautiful smile and a sob story, and everyone thinks he's sooo wonderful…"
The girl was now gazing at him like he was a puppy someone had left in a box on the sidewalk as she loaded a sheet of cardboard and Leo's picture into the oversized printer.
"Aw, so it's an unrequited crush; you want this because you think it's the closest you'll ever get to having his heart. But I'm sure if you just told him…"
"I am not in love with Marcus!"
A few people nearby turned to look at him. Leo very busily reshuffled the photos he was still holding.
"It's okay."
The girl patted his hand sympathetically, and Leo skittered away.
"You seem so nice; I'm sure deep down he has feelings for you too, and if you just confessed your secret affection—"
Printfasterprintfasterprintfaster, Leo mentally begged.
"—the strength of your love will convince him that he doesn't have to be afraid—"
The shop-girl grabbed the cardboard from the machine and set it on a nearby table, running an exacto knife around Marcus's glaring form. Leo eyed the blade.
Don't have to be afraid?
"—because the strength of your love will overcome all obstacles—"
"Yeah, I'm just gonna take my evil charmer cutout and leave now…"
Leo pulled a handful of cash out of his pocket and dropped it on the table next to the woman, grabbing his life-sized cardboard Marcus and backing away.
"Emphasis on the 'evil'."
"But don't you want to make some posters too? I know how to add hearts and sparkle affects!"
"Keep the change!"
"Good luck!" the girl called after him, finding herself addressing merely a door swinging back and forth from the speed with which Leo had rushed out through it.
~~~/~~~/~~~
Leo slammed the front door behind him and leaned against it, clutching cardboard-Marcus.
"Oh, you're back. I thought you got lost."
Leo jumped as Eddy materialized on the wall next to him, looking disappointed. He glared at the AI.
"I almost didn't make it back. You would not believe the time I just had—seriously, some people make such a big deal out of nothing…"
"Why did you leave at all, anyway?" Eddy smiled, suddenly reminding Leo of the shop-assistant. "Donnie's got loads of fancy equipment here. You could have printed that thing without going anywhere."
"Are you kidding me? Why didn't you say anything before I left?!"
"I guess I forgot," the computer said innocently.
"Gaah!"
Leo stalked off; he needed to go show his siblings this now, because finally convincing them would make all this worth it…He was almost to the elevator when Eddy added boredly,
"Oh, and the house got a call from some girl at Prints Plus; she said you forgot your folder of pictures of your boyfriend."
"What?! I lost my Marcus folder?! I have to—Wai—I mean my evidence folder! I mean my—he's not my boyfrieeeend!"
