Not beta'd. Additional notes at end.

I do not own Glee or profit from this in any way.


My beard's been growing in nicely so it's twice the shame that I end up cutting myself. I try not to think of the last time I had to get ready for a date. My nerves get the best of me and I have to drink a glass of Scotch before my buzzer goes off at 7. It's exactly when she said they'd be here so I head over and open the door. Puck and Tina let themselves in and I see the friend that Tina is trying to set me up with. She looks nice- it's just all wrong.

I won't let her see my reaction, so I mask it with my best smile. Puck starts talking to get the ball rolling and soon they're all laughing and I'm doing my best impression of it. Tina keeps cutting looks to me so I sit closer to her and look in her eyes when she speaks. I can't pretend that well though, so I suggest we head out to the restaurant.

I like that she let me grab the door for her, but I don't like that she expected it. We snag a table for four, but really it's only for them. They're all talking about someone or another that they all know and I'm doing my best acting job trying to pretend I'm interested. She excuses herself to the ladies room and in her absence, Tina assures me that I'm doing fine.

I wish it were true. I really wish that I wasn't counting down the minutes until I could get home. I try to ignore the music coming from the speakers because I know it's her. It's useless though, and I find myself humming along. Well, I did until she came back. She asked me to dance and I wanted to decline, but the look on Puck and Tina's faces scared me.

It's when we're on the dancefloor and a slower song has started that I realize I've forgotten her name. We talk a bit as we spin, but I try to avoid any topics that she might be interested in. I let her tell some jokes and I smile my best smile and laugh like it's going out of style. I wonder if she knows it's all fake.

Before I know it, we're at her apartment building. I remember her name now, and I use it to wish her a goodnight. I tell her I had a good time and move to kiss her on the cheek. She asks if we can see each other again and I just give her a sad smile and say "We'll see." On the walk back home I wonder when I became that man, but I try not to let it bring me down. I get in bed and replay the night, all in all it wasn't a waste, but by no means was it a success.

I grab the phone and I'm already dialing the number before my brain can catch up. I get the voicemail tone and realize that it's probably late in London or Lisbon or Laos or wherever she's touring at the moment.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry a million times over. I heard your song tonight- it's amazing. I knew you'd get right back into it. I really was an idiot, trying to keep you here with me. Trying to convince you to give up something that's a part of you. I- I just want to talk to you. Please. All this learning to live again stuff isn't working. I miss you. Call me. I love you, Mercedes."


First, this is a different writing style so I hope it's not too messed up to read? Sorry if it is :( Second, I have a lot of feelings about Garth Brooks so when I saw some people coming for him, it didn't sit right with me. Having been to four Garth Brooks concerts, I can testify that he always gives 150% and if he wants to lip sync at an award show (which he was fully transparent about!) when he has had a career that has spanned almost 3 decades then he damn well can. This is, if you haven't guessed, based on the song "Learning To Live Again" by Garth Brooks. Third...sorry it's a downer but idk maybe it will have a future someday. OH! Fourth, since I can't add links on this site please watch a cover of this song. It's on YouTube and it's titled "Carter Winter Does A Kick-A** Cover of Garth Brooks' "Learning To Live Again"" Much love, XX!