Link was poor as fuck and Tetra told him to get a job, or she would eat his eyebrows with his jizz as ketchup. Link was obviously pissed and pulled that face that he does when he can't take a nasty-ass shit.

"U fuckin' w0t, m8?!" he yelled to her "Where da fuk am a ment to get a bloody job?!" Link started to scream like that bitch called SammyClassicSonicFan and Tetra's ears began to bleed because they were on their period.

"Well, coz the bloody fandom is so damn popular, I suggest working at Freddy Jizzbear's!" Tetra shouted back in an Irish accent. She then showed her boobs because that's the only way that this story will get any views. So Link went to Freddy Jizzbear's to be a night guard, no fucking surprise. Link started wanking to lesbian Goron porn because his job was boring as fuck. Suddenly, Chicken lady was outside the door and was gonna kill Link, duh. But Link wuz all like,

"UH MAH GAWD! It's a mother bloody cuccooooooo!" So Link got out his big-ass sword and killed Taco, I mean Chica, and turned her into robot KFC. Bonnie heard the loud-ass scream of when Chica wuz killed, so he went to see wut wuz goin' on. But Link just summoned Midna and she ate Bonnie because that is a common dish in the twilight realm. Foxy ran down the hallway at Sanic speed and wuz about to jump up into Link's face but he then saw the triforce on Link's hand and the illuminati music shit started to play and it zoomed into the triangle because MLG shit and Shrek. So Foxy exploded because the power of Link's illuminati shot a magic rainbow penis at him. Freddy was lookin' through the door at Link and thought he was sexy as fuck. So Freddy fantasised about giving flowers to Link and them falling in love and shit. And then they run across a field together and hang out with Conker the squirrel and then kissing at sunset. Then getting married to Link in his tunic wedding dress and then having mutant robot bear flesh children with blond hair. Suddenly Golden Freddy appeared and he was about to kill Link, so Freddy swooped in and went all super on him and punched his ass into space. Um, so Peter Pan and Winnie Pooh then lived happily ever after in Peach's castle. Tetra died with the same fate as Aryll in my previous story. Conker killed himself because he ran out of beer. And Sanic and SammyClassicSonicFan were the bridesmaids at their wedding. And their children were called Brooke, Phoebe and Pillow.

THE END