« Bang Bang »

Rating : M, Romance/Drama
Characters : Yonekuni/Shirou
Manga : Sex Pistols (Love Pistols)
Notes : Alternative Universe, a small song-fic that "Bang bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)" by Nancy Sinatra inspired me.
English is not my mother tongue so I really want to thank Lylyrin, who took a look at it ! :)
Disclaimer : Characters and Love Pistols are KOTOBUKI Tarako's property. The song belongs to Sonny Bono (I'd recommend you to listen to Nancy Sinatra' one, not to the original by Cher).
Beta : Lylyrin

Enjoy !


« Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down. »


" Madarame ? What are you doing here this late ?! Would you like to come inside ? "

I still remember vividly that day, when he first knocked at my door.
We were in our second year, Madarame got me in his silly game, pretending to be friends and in return I could ask him a favor per day.
I finally had the chance to be near him but to watch him flirt with the girls all-day and stay cold towards me was slowly killing me.

On this rainy evening, I found him on my doorstep, soaked and shaking; he seemed to whisper a sentence again and again but too low for me to understand.
The man I loved, who hated any humans of male sex, was here to find comfort nearly unconscious.
To say it surprised me would be an understatement, but I let him come in and embrace me.
Every night of storm, the same happened until the day he woke up. The day it ended.
Although I did understand how confused he might be, I could not help but feel some resentment: was he really unconscious when he came to visit me ?
Was I so repulsive ?


« Now he's gone, I don't know why,
Until this day sometimes I cry,
He didn't even say « good-bye »,
He didn't take the time to lie. »


Days have passed, he told me he was unsure of his feelings for me, but that he might like me and wanted to try it out. From now on I'll call him Yonekuni.

Then came the discover of my madarui status, the exams, summer and our « training trip » in the family business; we spend little time together and it often boils down to brief encounters or moments when we hold hands not looking at each other, blushing.

I did not know what to do, how I should explain to him that I wanted more, that I needed more; the urge to go out and discuss, to be embraced.
But I was afraid of his reaction, that he might still be unsure and decide to end our relationship, that he might have realized I did not suit him anymore.


« Bang bang, he shot me down,
Bang bang, I hit the ground,
Bang bang, that awful sound,
Bang bang, my baby shot me down. »


Yonekuni did not catch my doubts nor my pain, he seemed more and more out of his mind and was a little aggressive, I suspected him to hesitate about my feelings and honesty, as if he watched carefully every of my actions to judge me.

But what worried me the most was the fact that he looked like he tried to distance himself from me, though we were not really close.
I've never been of a violent nature, but I couldn't go on like this, I was on the edge of craziness. So I took all the bravery I had and decided to talk to him, to force him to listen to me.
He was in the kitchen of the restaurant, surrounded by dozens of employees who wanted him for themselves, and he did not see me.
Sadly someone took the opportunity to talk to him before I could.

« - Yonekuni ?
- Hum.. ?
- Can we talk ?, the group of women were staring with both anger and envy towards the newcomer, .. In private ?
- Ok. »

I followed the Madarame brothers in the garden surprised by the discomfort of the jaguar, trying to be discreet. Even if he was famous for his inability to communicate, everyone knew he was not afraid to be outspoken and to see him embarrassed piqued my curiosity.

« - What are you doing ?
- What ?
- With Fujiwara, what are you playing at ? Norio's worried.
- Shiro ? But what are you talking about ?! »

I started to think that maybe eavesdropping this conversation was not a good idea after all.. Even if it was attractive, I feared what I might hear.

« - Of you ! Do you know how you act towards him ? First you reject him, then you act like a child to get him back and now you're as cold as ice ! Are you trying to drive him insane ?!
- I ..
- Do you intend to settle down with him ? To live with him ?
- Yonekuni, do you love him ?
- I don't know.. I wonder if .. If us was a good idea. »

Hearing this much was enough, my doubts were confirmed, he regretted and was more than uneasy with his feelings : he did not like me.
Despite the fact that I had convinced myself that I would not regret it, that I would take anything he'll give me without asking for more, it was hard to take.

It was.. painful.


« Bang bang, I shot you down,
Bang bang, you hit the ground,
Bang bang, that awful sound,
Bang bang, I used to shot you down. »


I read one last time the letter I had written, and finished to pack my things. I have made my choice, certainly a little bit rushed but I needed that; I wanted to go somewhere, as far from here as I could. That seemed to be the best option I had.
In this letter I told him everything, absolutely everything.
Before, I had spent years moping and suffering in silence, looking painfully at Yonekuni because I was too weak to leave and turn over.

But I could not go on, I did not want to be the nice and weak « Pres' » anymore, who just hoped and nodded. I wanted to be me without being afraid, to love and be loved, to live an adult and assumed relationship.
To be able to hold the hand of my lover, to kiss him without being anxious.
I wanted to be me and to be pleased.
I enjoyed the time we spent together, while being disappointed and frustrated at the same time, wishing for more than those short moments.

Coming back to his room this night, Kunimasa saw that the door of his brother's room was ajar. Intrigued, he entered and saw him kneeling, devastated.
He caught sight of a crumpled sheet in the trash and a single note on the desk :

« Thank you for the time you have given me, but I decided to give you back your freedom, be happy Madarame. Shiro. »


« Bang bang, I shot you down. »


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