Ever read those stories where the first time is simply magical? Yeah, don't get your hopes up because most times it's not. Story is mine, but the characters who've come to play are J.K. R's. I'm not a good enough writer to take this further, so yes it's a one-shot. Have fun!

Disappointed

She was never a man's dream girl. Nor was he ever a woman's dream man. They were the best friends of the boy-who-lived. They were the sidekicks that were destined to be together. No one expected them to break up and no one had expected it to happen so suddenly. No one knew why except them. Years later they would look back at the night they broke up and either laugh or cringe. Yes friends, it was that bad.

They had been together for nearly a year when he found her pacing in the living room of the home they shared with their friend Harry Potter. She was the same Hermione as ever. Her hair was still big and bushy, he had found that she did know how to tame it she just never bothered to. Her body had grown too, she didn't have the long legs and big breasts that he was usually attracted to but that was okay. He really didn't know what kind of body she had since most of clothes resembled something that he could wear. When they moved in together he had hoped to find a different side to Hermione. He hoped that she would have lacy knickers, barely there nightgowns or even a dirty book. To his disappointment she was the same big bushy hair that she never fixed, clothes that never fit right and sensible undergarments and nightclothes. He had hoped that they would sleep in the same room since they both lived at Harry's but Hermione had shot him down saying they would have no room for both her books and quidditch gear. Never mind the fact that Grimmauld place had it's own library, he let her have her space because through it all he loved her. He loved Hermione Granger for all that she was: a bushy haired, sensible knickers wearing, hidden bodied bookworm.

She found him staring at her and she stopped pacing to find him not just staring but having a glazed, deep-in-thought look about him. He seldom had that look about him so she took her chance to appraise the man that she had been in a relationship with for nearly a year. He was a man now and yet he still had the awkwardness about him. He was tall and gangly, he described himself as 'wiry' but no he was just skinny. His hair could never seem to have an attractive cut for her and his eyes never held a special place in her heart. She had hoped that in their time together she would find some depth to him but so far there was nothing and she found that after a few months the excitement of having a boyfriend had turned to indifference. He loved her and she loved him except it was only as a brother and she wasn't sure that he realized that there was no spark between them. She was desperate to get out of the relationship but could only think of an easy way out.

They were both virgins. They had only gone as far as 'uppsies-outsidies' - as he so childishly told his brothers one night after a few fire-whiskeys. She wanted to get it over with. She was frustrated and knew that if they could do that and have it be good that they could work it out but if it didn't maybe he would figure it out and he would make it easy on her by letting her go. Maybe, just maybe.

"Hey Ron, are you okay?" Hermione had done enough appraising and was ready to engage Ronald in her experiment. He looked at her and blinked. She hated when he would give blank looks, it was so unattractive.

"Yeah, well. Yeah." Ron was always the eloquent one.

"Can we talk for a minute before you head off to bed? I had hoped you would do me a favor." When he nodded and leaned against the door frame she decided to go for it, taking her most confident tone of voice she continued, "You know we've been together for almost a year and seeing that we're both adults now I had hoped we would take our relationship to next level and I hoped we would start soon."

His face looked blank, but she swore she saw some drool on the side of his mouth. Standing up she took him by the hand and brought him to the chair and sat on his lap. Acting more confident than she felt she elaborated.

"I mean I had hoped that we would have relations soon." Another look at Ron confirmed that he was indeed drooling now, but no response. "As in let's have sex tonight." Tired of talking she wiped the drool from his mouth and went in for the kill.

She straddled his lap and started to kiss his neck while trying to subtly wipe his face with her hands and sleeves. He finally seemed to understand that this was indeed happening. He placed his hands on her arms and started to lick her ear and neck. It was something that to her felt like a dog would do and when she shuddered Ron took it as encouragement he began to lick her face, she cringed and sat up straight.

"What's wrong? You didn't like that?" His face was red and she didn't feel like stopping. As unromantic as it seemed she just wanted to get it over with.

"No it's not that I just think we need to take our clothes off. We can't have sex with them on, right?" Hermione was hopeful when she said this as a virgin she had very few experiences with penis' but she knew that around her hand size was normal but the thicker the better. The girl's in her dorm had differing views but the agreed that that 12-17 cm was satisfactory and the thickness depended on the girl. She knew that she was small so she had no doubt that Ron would be satisfactory. He was tall, had huge feet and large hands – no doubt at all. She undressed herself carefully folding her clothes and watching him as he undressed clumsily and threw his clothes a little to close to the fireplace for her liking.

Casting a quick contraception charm she looked at his body as he looked at hers. He was hard it seemed and she was disappointed at his size. Not only did it seem that he was only half of her hand size but she was sure that her wand was thicker than he was. How did he pee through that? Trying not to show her disappointment in her face she tried to look at him seductively.

"Whats wrong with your face?"

"Nothing, are you, uh, are you ready?" She glanced at his little Weasley hoping he wasn't.

"Don't worry 'Mione, it'll fit. That's what you're made for. Do you want me to . . . " He looked at her body disappointed that she didn't have the body he had dreamed of. It was okay with him, he knew that sex with Hermione would be fantastic. After all Hermione Granger never did anything half-assed.

"To?"

"You know kiss your vag?"

"My vag? You mean my vagina? No thank you Ronald. I think we should lay down though." They both bent over and bumped heads as they went to the floor. She fell on the floor right on her bum but he fell right on top of her, his penis cushioned by her face.

"Ron . . ." Hermione was seriously considering just calling the night off, but she couldn't. This was her experiment. She never started something she wasn't willing to finish and that included Ron Weasley.

He moved his body off of hers and went to lay next to her. The floor was cold and hard but he didn't care. His dreams were coming true. He looked at her expecting her to do something.

"So?"

Annoyed by his lack of initiative she crawled on top of him and started to kiss him on the mouth. She didn't want to leave his mouth open to start his dog licks again. His kisses were sloppy and wet. She was pretty sure her lip would get a hickey if he didn't stop sucking and biting her lip. Trying to distract him she started to moan and grind against him.

"Oh fuck Hermione you're so tight!" She stopped when she realized what he said. How did that happen and how does she not feel him? Damn the tampons that were bigger than her boyfriends dick.

"Oh yes, Oh Ron! You're so diminutive. Oh Ron this so much better than I thought!" She didn't want to lie. It was better than she thought, for one it didn't hurt and two she didn't have to worry about being what her mother called a 'loosey goosey'.

" . . . it's the final countdown!" Hermione couldn't believe it. He was singing Europe while they were having sex. This is awful. She started to move faster so he could get it over with.

Ron had always waited for this minute, but she was so different than he expected. It felt like he was using his hand or something else similar. It wasn't as wet or tight as he expected. This was no 'sleeve', this was not home. He'd probably be better wanking off. And her kissing it wasn't right it was so forced. This was not how he wanted their first time to be. Feeling his body start to tense he knew he was close so he did what all the naughty books said to, he put his hand between her legs and tried to find her 'hub' or whatever that button was.

"Ow crap!" He forgot he had nails. He was going to come anyway though. As she got up to get off he couldn't stop himself. It landed in her face, mouth and hair.

Her face turned green under the liberal covering of cum. Before he could move she puked on him and little Weasley. He can't describe the feeling of warm chunks flying at his crotch but before he could stop it his body began to pump his juices, only this time from his mouth into her hair.

Later on as she showered she realized something incredibly sad and amazing all at once. Ron had never been inside of her, just her thighs. As she saw the red marks on the inside of her thigh similar to a rug burn, she couldn't help but laugh at the events of the previous few hours. As she scrubbed her face and hair clearing out all the little Ron bits she didn't think that convincing him to break up would be that hard. Convincing him to stay her friend was another fight all together.