Author's Note: This is in response to the Flower challenge on the HPFC forum. My flower/prompt was "Adonis," which symbolizes the remembrance of life's pleasures. I hope you enjoy and please review!
Memories in a Graveyard
Andromeda Tonks shivered slightly in the cool nighttime air of the graveyard. She hated it here. She had always hated graveyards, ever since she was a little girl and Bella dragged her and Cissy out to one in the middle of the night and proceeded to terrify them out of their minds with horror stories, but this hatred ran deeper than childhood fear. So many people close to her lay in their coffins, their headstone adorning the spot where they would stay for the rest of eternity. Her parents, Regulus, Sirius, her best friend Marlene, Ted, Remus, sweet Nymphadora….Andromeda bowed her head in unspeakable sorrow. She loved them all. Even Bellatrix was here, her elder sister, the murderer of her daughter. Andromeda couldn't mourn Bellatrix Lestrange, but she couldn't help feeling a twinge of sympathy for her sister Bella Black.
Andromeda glanced around at the graves of the people she knew and loved. Some were bare, having been neglected by Andromeda as the years dragged on and more people she cared for joined the graveyard. Some- Ted's, Dora's, Remus'- were covered in bright and colorful flowers, a mark of how often Andromeda visited their graves. She sighed, feeling guilty, and with a wave of her wand, a bouquet of yellow and red flowers appeared- Adonis.
She plucked one from the bouquet and hesitantly approached her father's grave. She cleared the fallen leaves off the gravestone- Cygnus Black. Toujours Pur.- and smiled slightly.
"Here, Daddy," she said quietly, placing the single flower on the gravestone. "I'm sorry I haven't visited you in a while."
It had been years and years, actually, and Andromeda never really visited his gravestone anyway. When she learned he had died, she took a toddler Nymphadora to his grave and stood there awkwardly, remembering the last time she had saw him in life- the day she had been disowned, the day Cygnus had screamed at her that she was no longer his daughter.
She shook her head. "I know there's been bad blood between us, but there were the good times too." She paused, remembering. "Er, I remember that night when Bella and Cissy were asleep and you took just me outside to look at the stars. You pointed out my constellation and told me how powerful I could be. You told me I could do anything." She smiled wryly. "That night was really special to me."
Looking up at the night sky, her constellation seemed to loom over her. She hadn't searched for it in a long time. Andromeda smiled, feeling her father's presence next to her.
She stood up and moved on to her mother's grave, feeling a wave of emotions hitting her. "Mum," she whispered quietly. "I've missed you."
She hadn't visited her mother's grave either, preferring to dwell on the anger and resentment that Druella Black had done nothing to protect her from her father's wrath and had let her middle daughter leave her for good.
Still, she had always loved her mum. Bella never had any time to spend with parents, and Narcissa clung to Druella for the longest time. Andromeda was somewhere in the middle. While she was easily irritated with her parents, she did like to sit and talk with Druella, sipping hot chocolate and snacking on biscuits.
Andromeda grinned and gently put an Adonis flower on her mother's gravestone.
"You taught me how to appreciate nature," she remarked fondly, running her fingers along the cool marble of the stone. "I remember going on long walks with you through our gardens. You would always point out the wildlife and different types of flowers. It was so peaceful out there, just you and me. Bella was too destructive to go on our walks and Cissy was too impatient. But I loved those walks." She stopped, tears welling up in her eyes. "And I missed them when I had to leave."
Silence engulfed Andromeda, who shivered violently. She gazed down at her mother's grave and sighed. "But I forgive you, Mum."
With that, Andromeda turned to Regulus' grave. Little Reggie. Flashes of Regulus through his bright childhood to his sullen years as a teenager to his initiation as a Death Eater ran through Andromeda's mind, and she laughed sadly.
"Reggie," she said loving, putting a flower on his grave and looking at it. "I'm sorry I haven't been to visit you lately, it's just…I thought you had died like Bellatrix was living…an evil Death Eater. But Harry tells me," Andromeda said brokenly, starting to sob, "Harry tells me that you died a hero, trying to stop You-Know-Who. I'm so sorry I thought you were anything else."
Andromeda wiped her eyes and straightened up, adjusting the flower. "We had some great times together, Reg. I remember when Bella and Sirius were off doing Merlin-knows-what and Cissy was staring at herself in the mirror, you and I would have such a good time. Playing with the house-elves, sneaking down to the Muggle playground, trying to prank Sirius and Bella…." She laughed at the memories. "Godric, Regulus, I loved you. I just wish I had had more time with you."
She smiled sadly, remembering hugs and laughter and kisses that she had shared with him. She patted his gravestone tenderly- trying not to think of the contrast of his formerly warm body and this presently cold marble- and slowly walked to his brother's gravestone- Sirius.
"I miss you," she said abruptly, sitting down. "I only stopped coming because, well, Ted died, Sirius. And then Nymphadora died. Sirius, it was horrible." She burst into tears, clutching the flower to her.
"I guess you knew that though," she said, hiccupping slightly. "I know you were friends with Dora. I always loved that. And the fact that I still kept in touch with another one of the Black Five? It was nothing but miraculous." She smirked, wiping her eyes.
"We had so much fun, Siri. Remember? That one Halloween where we all dressed up? Cissy was a princess, of course, and Bella was a seductress, and Reggie was a knight. And you and I were pirates, and so rebellious, because that reeked of Muggle. But our parents didn't know, it was just us five, and we went trick-or-treating until Bella lost her patience and cursed a group of Muggle children…" She trailed off, smiling slightly. "And then you and I were real pirates, leaving the Black family home and going on a voyage into the Muggle world."
She rolled her eyes at the gravestone. "I know you would think that was so corny, but it's true. But we still had fun together, even after we were burned off the tapestry. I will never forget those talks at Hogsmeade, they made me feel like I wasn't alone."
She sighed heavily, releasing the flower onto the gravestone. "Rest in peace, Sirius."
The next gravesite sent a chill through her. "Oh Marlene," she whispered. "I miss you so much."
She chose a yellow Adonis from the bouquet and placed it beside her grave. "Yellow, your favorite color," Andromeda said, biting her lip. "I wish you were here, you always managed to cheer me up, and Marly, I really need to be cheered up now."
She gazed at the plaque on the gravestone, tears welling in her eyes- Marlene McKinnon. She touched everyone she met. She will be missed. "Marly, I really miss you," Andromeda murmured. "Merlin, I forget how much fun we had together." She started to laugh. "Just the simple things like skulking around Knockturn Alley for hours were so much fun when it was with you. And going to Quidditch games, attempting to play Quidditch ourselves….. We had some good times together." She trailed off wistfully. "Nymphadora died, Marly. Your goddaughter. Will you look after her for me?" Andromeda blew a kiss at the grave and stood up, reluctantly walking away from where her best friend lay but smiled as she approached her other best friend.
The grave was covered in flowers and was clearly visited often. "Ted," Andromeda breathed. "My Ted."
She shook her head, twirling his red Adonis between her fingers. "It doesn't get any easier, Teddy," she whispered. "I don't think I'll ever be over you." She placed the flower in the very center of the grave and straightened up. "Ted, I miss you so much. You completed me. You were my soul, my heart, my life. And I still can't function normally without you." She bit back a teary chuckle. "I need your reasoning, your sanity, your….stability in my life. I need you. But you're with Dora now, and I know she needs her Daddy." Andromeda smiles sadly. "I'll see you soon, love."
With an effort, she turns to Remus' grave, her darling son-in-law. "Teddy misses you, Remus. He looks so much like you at times. He's a wonderful child. Just as you were a wonderful father, and husband, and just a wonderful man. Seeing my daughter so happy and so in love was what I needed to snap out of my depression from Ted's death." She paused, picking out a yellow Adonis for him. "Thank you, Remus. I miss you."
She forced herself to look at the next grave, her breath catching in her chest. "Oh Nymphadora," she sighed. It was so wrong for a mother to have to stand next to her daughter's grave, it was unnatural, and she couldn't handle it. Andromeda sank to her knees, not making an effort to abstain the flow of tears from her eyes. "I miss you, honey," she sobbed, stroking the gravestone in a manner similar to the way she used to stroke Dora's back after she had had a nightmare. "You were the light of my life, my pride and joy, my little, precious girl. And sweetie, you helped me so much after your father. I love you, forever." She broke off, unable to go on, but knowing that Nymphadora knew. She kissed the last flower and tenderly placed it on her daughter's grave.
She stood to leave, sighing. A bare and deserted monument caught her eye and she found herself wandering towards the obscenely huge grave (Narcissa must have picked it out, she thought bitterly). The bold black letters on the white marble stated, "Bellatrix Black Lestrange. Fiery warrior, loyal sister, passionate wife, and above all, devoted servant."
Andromeda clenched her fists. "Loyal sister?" she spat, her voice echoing through the graveyard. "Did Narcissa put that on here? You sure as hell weren't loyal to me. And devoted servant? If your greatest accomplishment was being the servant of a psychotic mad man, then you, Bella, had completely failed in life. You murderer." She stood there, shaking, staring at her former sister's grave.
She felt a light touch on her shoulder and spun around. A beautiful witch was standing there, with piercing blue eyes and platinum blonde hair. She bore the traces of aging, but if anything, her age had enhanced her beauty, not withered it. She wasn't smiling, instead staring at Andromeda with shock and nervousness.
"Narcissa," breathed Andromeda, staring at her as if she was a ghost.
Narcissa Malfoy nodded slightly. "Andromeda," she whispered, a small catch in her voice. She moved as if to hug Andromeda, but thought better of it and stopped. "What are you- you're visiting Bella's grave?"
Andromeda laughed bitterly. "No. I was visiting my daughter's grave, Narcissa. You know, my daughter that Bellatrix killed."
Narcissa bit her lip, her eyes guarded. "Oh," she said faintly. "I'm sorry. I heard about your, er, daughter. If I had known Bellatrix was planning on killing…..well, I have a child too."
Andromeda twisted her mouth, having heard about Narcissa's Draco, a vile boy who was a Death Eater and had ended up playing a critical role in Dumbledore's death. "You wouldn't have stood up to Bellatrix, even if you did know she was going to murder my daughter. You never could," she added cruelly.
Narcissa flinched. "I tried too. Over the years. When you were…away. Dro-Andromeda, she'd changed. After Azkaban…she was unreasonable. She was more likely to curse me than she was to listen to me, every time I opened my mouth. You don't know what it was like. I loved Bella, more than almost anybody, but she was difficult to be around."
Andromeda laughed humorlessly. "Yes, Narcissa, I gathered that when she completely alienated me for the simple fact that I fell in love with someone whose blood was not as pure as ours. I guessed as much when she destroyed my world by murdering my daughter and leaving my grandson an orphan. Bellatrix was an absolute evil bitch and I'm glad she's dead."
Narcissa looked as if she had been slapped. "But she was our- well, she was my sister. I know she was harsh to you, but she loved me."
"Well, good for you," Andromeda spat, disgusted.
Narcissa shook her head. "And she loved you once. Remember? You two were so close. You would practice magic- illegally- in the garden, and would make up the most marvelous games for us to play. We were the sisters Black and we were all so incredibly close. And then-"
"And then," Andromeda interrupted. "And then, she disowned me and you followed suit."
Narcissa blinked. "I'm sorry," she said simply. "I have regretted that decision for quite some time now."
Andromeda rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you did, while you hid behind your prick of a husband and Bellatrix and You-Know-Who's favor."
Narcissa's eyes flashed. "I admitted that I made some poor decisions. But I also saved your bloody cause, Andromeda. Did Potter and his friends neglect to mention that when they told you of all the horrendous things my side did?"
"I heard about that," Andromeda admitted grudgingly. "But you can't deny it was for your own selfish reasons. You wanted to save your son."
"Wouldn't you do the same for Nymphadora?" Narcissa asked pleadingly.
Andromeda's eyes narrowed. "Don't you dare speak about my daughter or compare her to your son. You're not worthy to utter her name. You stood behind Bellatrix, who clearly wanted her gone, and I'm bloody sure that you had some classy adjectives to describe her. And you still support Bellatrix, who murdered my baby girl. You have no right to speak of my daughter."
Narcissa's eyes widened and she looked as if she might cry. "I'm, I'm sorry," she stammered. "I didn't mean- Andromeda, please. We haven't seen each other in so long, and this isn't….this isn't how I wanted our reunion to be like."
"Did you want me to hug you, Narcissa? Call you Cissy? Laugh and reminisce about Bellatrix? Act like the last twenty-eight years had never happened?"
Narcissa bit her lip. "Would that be so horrible?" she whispered.
Andromeda paused and unwillingly, her eyes filled with tears. She furiously brushed them away, taking a deep breath. Before she could speak, Narcissa had thrown herself into her arms, hugging her tightly. Andromeda froze, but upon hearing her little sister's sobs, wrapped her arms around Narcissa. It took her back to when they were children, and she would comfort Narcissa after one of Bella's tantrums or her parents' punishment.
Narcissa drew back, her eyes red and puffy. "I'm so sorry, Drommy," she said tearfully.
Andromeda smiled slightly. "I….can try to forgive you," she said, pausing and adding, "Cissy."
Narcissa smiled through her tears. "Thank you. I've missed you so much."
Andromeda nodded absently. "I missed you terribly the first few years. But you learn to adjust."
"You were always stronger than me," Narcissa said sadly. "I was always the weak one."
Andromeda shook her head. "Well, like you said, you saved our cause. That was brave."
Narcissa giggled a little and shrugged, her eyes drifting down to Bellatrix's grave. "Do you miss her at all?" She froze and quickly added, "Not the Bellatrix Lestrange she died as. But our Bella? Do you miss her?"
Andromeda paused, staring at the grave. "I miss how she was so incredibly protective of us," she said finally. "I miss how she always had the best plans, the best ideas. I miss how fun she was. I miss listening to her tell us stories. I miss playing pranks on her and laughing with her and going on adventures with her. I miss all that."
Narcissa nodded, tears pooling in her eyes. "I miss all that too," she said softly.
Andromeda waved her wand gently and conjured a single dark red Adonis. "For all of those memories," she muttered, placing the flower next to Bellatrix's grave.
Narcissa smiled and took Andromeda's arm. "Will you come to my house? So we can continue catching up? It's freezing out here."
Andromeda tensed, but didn't pull away. She looked at her sister's eager face and sighed. "Okay," she said finally. "This doesn't mean all is forgiven, Narcissa," she warned. "But okay."
Narcissa beamed and gently led Andromeda away from the graveyard, where her friends, her family, and the love of her life lay. Andromeda glanced back, smiling at the brightly colored flowers dotting the graves. The darker flower off to the side caught her eye, and a rush of emotions washed over, ranging from fury to something akin to grief. The last feeling grew stronger as the image of a laughing little girl, with jet-black ebony curls and glittering dark eyes, appeared before her eyes. She blinked and the little girl disappeared, leaving behind a strange sense of peace. Andromeda swallowed hard, fighting back tears, but allowed Narcissa to guide her out of the graveyard, moving towards light and hope and family and forgiveness.
