'Twas the Night Before CM Christmas

'Twas the night before CM Christmas, and all through the house

Not an agent was frowning. not even the Strauss

The guns were all stored at the BAU with care

So no guests would incur host Hotchner's glare

The eggnog was swirled all full of spiced rums,

Giving guests merry visions of sugar-plums;

And Jack in his elf costume, and Hotch in his Santa cap,

Welcomed their guests with a hug or light tap,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

Hotch sprang to the doorway to see what was the matter.

Away to the front lawn he flew like a flash,

Unworried his actions might look a bit rash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Ne'er compared to his floodlights all installed in a row,

When, what to his wondering eyes should appear,

But his whole team dressed up like reindeer,

With a little cute smile, so slyly and quick,

He knew in a moment he was their St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Derek! now, David! now, Prentiss and JJ!

On, Penny! on Spencer! on, Jason and Greenway!

To the top of the porch! to the house we will go!

Now dash away! dash away! rush buck and doe!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

So up to the front door the agents they flew,

With arms full of gifts, and with St. Hotchner too.

And then, in a twinkling, the guests saw such a sight

A reindeer rendition of BAU delight.

And Hotchner entered his hall closet in a fast zoom,

And donned all the rest of his St. Nicholas costume.

He was dressed all in red, from his head to his toe,

And his clothes were padded, and he looked all aglow;

A bundle of gifts he had flung on his back,

And he looked to his colleagues like totally whack.

His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His firm little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

The fake beard on his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

Unlit, so no smoke encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a special-made round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.

He was cheery and pleased, next to his helper elf,

And the guests laughed when they saw him, in spite of their self;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave them to know they had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And gave each a small gift; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, to the eggnog he goes;

He poured a quick glass, to his team gave a shout,

And to him they all flew like a fire was to be put out.

And the guests heard them exclaim, ere they drank or ate a bite,

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight."