Title: The Opposite of Expectation
Author: xfphile
Pairing: none (Spock/Uhura mentioned)
Summary: Expectations seldom match their ideals.
Archive: Sure! Just let me know where.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I saw nothing, I know nothing. It all belongs to Paramount, Gene Roddenberry, JJ Adams, and everyone else I can't remember right now.
A/N: I've been wanting to read this for a while, but it seems that no one has written it. So, like Peter Jackson with LOTR, I decided to do it myself. This is my take on certain things that happened in the movie. I don't hate any of the characters; I just felt there were too many loopholes, plot holes, and open-ended questions when it was all said and done.
I welcome concrit, especially as I've been out of the fic game since a brief dip in the Quantum Leap pool sometime around 2003. Flames, however, will be captured in a jar, magnified, and returned to sender.
Also, this is unbeta'd, so any and all grammatical errors are mine.
Empty.
That was the word that came to Nyota Uhura's mind as she walked down the window-lined hall of the Cadet Administrative building, the afternoon sunlight bright even through the ubiquitous (and boring) beige blinds. She had always loved the sun and it's warmth, it's brightness, and it's implied joy.
Now, it taunted her.
Since her return from the Narada incident eight days ago, Nyota had been sleeping, crying, debriefing, and working through periods of mind-numbing grief – and seldom in that order. As such, her summons to her advisor's office gave her no cause for alarm. Mild curiosity, yes, but her mind was mostly preoccupied with Spock, who had vanished into his own black hole of debriefings, planning, scheming, memorial services, and just general all-around mayhem. She knew he'd be astronomically busy and hadn't really expected to see him for at least a week, but he hadn't commed her either – not even to leave a message. For a man as inherently polite and mannered as Spock, this was highly unusual. After recent events, it was also somewhat alarming.
Her mind thus occupied, Nyota was taken aback when she reached her destination and was called in before she could knock. Entering the room, she came to an abrupt halt at the sight of not only her advisor, Commander Robert Wayne, but also Admirals Richard Barnett and Stewart Komack, as well as Captain Pike's current protégé and TA, Lieutenant Commander Adam Pyerson. None of them offered a greeting at her entrance.
It was just a little unnerving.
Swallowing, Nyota collected herself and gave a sharp salute. She then held it nearly a minute before Komack had mercy and released her with a curt "At ease, Cadet."
Breathing a quick sigh of relief, Nyota settled automatically into parade rest and met each gaze before focusing on Barnett, who was the highest-ranking individual there. He silently returned her regard for a while before saying, "You look better today, Cadet. How are you holding up?"
Surprised by the question, Nyota blinked before answering. "I'm doing better, Sir. It's . . . still rough, seeing just how many people are gone, but the memorials and counseling have helped a great deal."
"I'm glad to hear that, Cadet," he replied, giving her a small smile before clearing his throat and looking down at the folder that lay on the desk in front of him. "Well, let's get to why you were summoned," he continued briskly, opening the folder with a snap and quickly reading over the first sheet.
Nyota was honestly expecting a commendation, given that at least three of the Enterprise crew had received one as of the day before. Thus, Barnett's next words were completely unexpected.
"You have been summoned here today, Cadet Uhura, to answer to the charges of insubordination, fraternization, unprofessional conduct, and possibly conduct unbecoming. This is not a formal hearing, so a gathering of your peers has not been called, but it is not an informal meeting. Do you understand, Cadet?"
Nyota was stunned. Charges? Insubordination? Unprofessional conduct?
"Cadet!"
Komack's sharp voice brought Nyota back to herself and she blinked before looking at the admiral. "I apologize, Sir. I was . . . caught off-guard."
Pyerson snorted softly and muttered, "I bet," before a sharp glance from Wayne silenced him. Barnett ignored them both as he impatiently repeated, "Do you understand why you're here, Cadet?"
"Yes, Sir," Nyota replied. "But – "
"Good," Barnett cut her off. "We will address these charges individually, beginning with insubordination."
"Permission to speak, Sir?" Nyota requested in a steady voice, despite the fact that she was still reeling from the news that this was a disciplinary hearing.
"Denied," Barnett said curtly. "Now. Insubordination. This charge stems from your behavior and actions during the Kobyashi Maru that you took part in on Stardate 5473.15. This should have happened the next day, but circumstances didn't permit it."
Nyota blinked. Insubordination during the Kobyashi Maru? What – how – why?
"Sir, I –"
"Silent!" Komack snapped, his eyes flashing with irritation. "This is a formal disciplinary hearing, Cadet. Your input is neither required nor wanted."
"Sir," Nyota said tightly, as anger began to break through the shock.
"Now," Barnett continued smoothly, ignoring the byplay as easily as he had Wayne and Pyerson a few minutes earlier. "During the Kobyashi Maru, you were assigned as Communications Officer under the command of one James T. Kirk. His actions and behavior are not a factor in this, as he gave no illegal, unlawful, or immoral orders. As such, the blatant disrespect you showed to your commanding officer throughout the entirety of the simulation cannot be overlooked and will not be tolerated. I don't care if you like your CO, hate him, couldn't pick him out of a lineup, or are married to him. On any mission, you will show respect for the position, if nothing else, and that respect will be in your tone, your behavior, and your obedience to his orders. "
"It's a well-known fact that you dislike James Kirk," Komack picked up, his dark baritone contrasting sharply with Barnett's light tenor. "That's fine. However, anyone who watched that SIM from cold off the street would also know that, just by observing you – and that is not acceptable. Your feelings were obvious, as was your contempt, and that will not be tolerated in this institution."
Nyota choked in a quick breath, feeling like she'd just been sucker-punched. She was being formally disciplined because of James Fucking Kirk! And for that matter, where was McCoy? Talk about unprofessional!
Before she could get a good head of steam going, Wayne spoke, his eyes filled with an odd combination of understanding and disappointment. His voice, however, showed only reproach.
"You are doing it now, Cadet," he rumbled. "Despite being told that your CO's actions were irrelevant to yours, you are blaming him."
Nyota fixed him with a stare that had made men twice her size back off and icily demanded, "Permissions to speak. Sir."
"Denied," Komack sighed. "But I'll answer your question anyway. You glared and muttered Kirk's name while you were thinking. It wasn't difficult to put together."
Nyota stared at him, mortified. Surely she hadn't lost that much control! Had she? It had been a brutal two weeks, but still. She was apparently acting like a twelve-year-old. Straightening her spine, she tried to forget her exhaustion and grief, and act as a woman of her age and station should.
"Good," Barnett said approvingly, noting her stance and the change in her eyes. "Moving on, then. For the charge of insubordination, you will receive a probationary reprimand in your file. If there are no further instances in the next twelve months, it will be removed."
Nyota allowed herself a quick sigh of relief before nodding and breathing a thankful, "Thank you, Sir."
Barnett fixed her with an inscrutable look before flipping the paper in his hand facedown on the folder and picking up the next sheet. "Don't thank me yet, Cadet. We aren't done here."
Nyota swallowed. She'd forgotten the other charges.
"For the possible charge of conduct unbecoming, Cadet, I refer to the incident that occurred in the landing bay when the cadets were being given their ship assignments for the mission to Vulcan."
It was Pyerson who spoke, and Nyota looked over at him, cringing internally as he spoke. She knew what he was about to bring up.
"I personally witnessed you being overly-familiar with a superior officer, in addition to the disrespect you showed to his position, On top of that, I also witnessed you question his orders before demanding – not asking, not respectfully requesting – that your wishes be accommodated. The reason we are considering conduct unbecoming instead of insubordination, Cadet, is because any one of these alone is bad enough. Add them together in one 3-minute incident, and it becomes a much more serious problem."
Barnett nodded and continued, his voice considerably darker than it had been not fifteen minutes earlier. "You see, Cadet, Commander Spock's actions aside – and they are not being ignored, let me assure you – I personally want to know what the hell you were thinking, that you deserved an assignment simply because you wanted it. And that doesn't even take into consideration your refusal to accept a superior officer's answer."
"Sir," Nyota began cautiously, only to be stopped by an obviously angry Barnett, who paused in reading over a small pile of scrap paper given to him by the others at the table.
"Save it, Cadet! I really don't care what your reasons were or how valid you thought them. I care that this seems to be something of a recurring pattern for you, and if you wish to remain in StarFleet, you will learn to sit down, shut up, and follow orders until you're the Chief of StarFleet Operations. Is that understood?"
"Sir, yes, Sir!" Nyota replied smartly. She didn't have a leg to stand on in this and she knew it. There were other ways she should have asked, but she'd been so frustrated with Spock and the 'one-step forward, three-steps back' situation they were in that it simply hadn't occurred to her.
Barnett stared coldly at her for a few more minutes before abruptly giving his attention to that small pile in front of him. Silence reigned for a long moment and Nyota felt sweat start to gather on her upper lip and palms as her nerves tightened. Conduct Unbecoming was serious – people had been dishonorably discharged because of that. Nyota was so focused on controlling her nerves, she actually started when Barnett spoke again.
"By a consensus, Cadet, this incident will be logged as Insubordination as well. However, due to the deeper, more serious nature of the offense, this will be a permanent reprimand and you will spend one full day serving whatever punishment Commander Pyerson feels is appropriate. We don't have brigs on campus, or I'd throw you in there for a day," he growled, his voice sharp but not – quite – disgusted. It was a display of vocal and emotional control that Nyota envied in a small corner of her mind.
"Yes, Sir," she said quietly, bowing her head in acknowledgement.
Komack was watching her shrewdly, his knowing gaze seeing far too much and making Nyota want to squirm. She resisted the impulse, however, and resettled herself, flexing her knees a bit and shifting to the balls of her feet to ease the tightness that came from standing so still for an extended period of time. He was still studying her intently when she refocused her attention, but Nyota met his gaze calmly, albeit with a tinge of worry.
When Komack finally spoke, it was in a tone Nyota had only heard a few times in her life – and sincerely hoped to never hear again.
"We need to be sure you understand the serious nature of these transgressions, Cadet. The only reason this isn't being classified as Conduct Unbecoming is because we have lost not only eighty percent of our graduating class, but also a considerable number of ranking, experienced officers. As such, StarFleet is taking a wider view of certain things. However, you are on a very thin line – and all the goodwill you accumulated from the Narada incident has been used to keep you in StarFleet. Is that understood?"
Nyota swallowed hard again. The gravity of her situation was starting to sink in, and it had become clear that not only was she up shit creek without a paddle, the boat had a leak too.
"I understand, Sir," she whispered as she forced her eyes to remain locked with Komack's. After a minute of silence, she looked at the other three men present and gave them each a firm nod before declaring, "Sirs," and stiffening her spine, waiting for the next charge.
After about thirty seconds, Barnett nodded and grabbed the next sheet in the folder. "The next charge is Fraternization, which also encompasses Unprofessional Conduct in this instance. Cadet Uhura, you are aware that StarFleet specifically and explicitly forbids any and all types of personal relationships between members of its teaching and professorial staff and our cadets?"
"I am, Admiral," Nyota replied steadily.
"Very well. Then you understand that your overly-familiar behavior toward Commander Spock was inappropriate, as well as a violation of StarFleet regulation 106 C, section IV?"
"I do, Sir," Nyota confirmed quietly.
"Then, to compound this, you – I want to get the order of events in sequence, Cadet, so bear with me. While on the Enterprise¸ serving as the Acting Communications Officer after the destruction of Vulcan and the loss of over 90% of the planet's population, including Commander Spock's mother, you left the bridge during a red-alert, combat situation without getting permission from the acting CO, who had been given the conn by Acting Captain Spock, and without calling your relief. You then stopped the turbolift mid-level, blocking access to the bridge, and proceeded to hug and kiss your CO. Have I got it right so far?" Barnett asked, his voice neutral.
Nyota gulped. When laid out like that, it did sound bad.
"I asked you a question, Cadet! Is the sequence of events correctly stated thus far?"
Nyota swallowed again before meeting his eyes. "They are, Sir."
After a long, pregnant pause, Barnett continued. "Then, when Acting First Officer Kirk was attempting to get Acting Captain Spock to consider another course of action – which does fall under the duties of first officer, though the method he chose was not ideal and will be addressed – you said and did nothing, despite having first-hand knowledge of how emotionally compromised Acting Captain Spock was. This will also be addressed for everyone on the bridge at that time.
"Later, when Acting First Officer Kirk forced the proof of Acting Captain Spock's state of mind before assuming the captaincy, you were insolent and disrespectful to your CO – Acting First Officer or Captain makes no difference. Even being on academic suspension didn't matter. He was still your superior officer by order of Captain Pike.
"Finally, when Acting Captain Kirk and Commander Spock were in the transporter room, preparing to begin their mission, you again left the bridge without permission, though you did call your relief, followed them to a public location, and proceeded to engage in a very public display of affection with Commander Spock."
The room was still when Barnett finished speaking. This time, the silence was ominous and threatened to strangle Nyota, who simply could not wrap her mind around what the admiral had just revealed. It wasn't like that! She had simply been trying to give the man she wanted to love some comfort and support.
She was jarred out of her thoughts by her advisor. "The multiple violations of the fraternizations regs have, after consideration, been combined into one single, all-encompassing charge, due to certain, somewhat understandable – though not acceptable – assumptions. Rest assured, Commander Spock's actions have not gone unnoticed, nor have they been ignored. What took place on the Enterprise, however, does have certain mitigating circumstances for him. These do not extend to you."
Numb, Nyota could only nod and wait for the axe to fall.
Pyerson was next. "The multiple nature of your violations is severe, Cadet. We were seriously contemplating a dishonorable discharge."
Nyota stared at him horror, unconsciously leaning back in an attempt to soften the blow. If Pyerson noticed, he made no mention, continuing quietly instead. "In fact, discharge isn't completely off the table yet, Cadet, so you need to pay very close attention."
"Sir," Nyota said on a shaking breath. She had nothing left. Everything was being used just to stay calm and absorb the impact.
Komack picked up where Pyerson had stopped, displeasure taking his voice down nearly an octave. "All the relevant parties have been informed of our potential decision, as well as asked for possible alternatives. Only two were offered – and a somewhat unexpected plea for you, Cadet."
Puzzled, Nyota looked at him. Someone had put in a good word for her? Her first thought was Spock, but common sense prevailed. Given his . . . proximity to and participation in the events in question, his word would not only carry no weight, it could potentially do damage to her cause. So. Not Spock. Who, then?
Nyota was shaken out of her reverie by Barnett, who took over by cutting Komack off mid-breath. It would have been funny under any other circumstance.
"Remember the goodwill I talked about earlier, Cadet?" he asked in a deceptively even voice, his eyes sparking with an emotion Nyota couldn't truly read, though she knew it wasn't anger. Not quite. She nodded without speaking, knowing that she was on perilous ground.
Barnett accepted her silence and continued in the same even tone that was making Nyota wary. She simply could not read the man and so couldn't get any clue about what was coming.
"The offered alternatives included a public apology to Commander Spock, Captain Pike, and Cadet Kirk individually, as well as a single apology to every member of the crew who was present during the aforementioned incidents, also made publicly. In addiction, your field promotion to Commander will not be upheld. We were going to make it Ensign, but a request for you specifically as Communications Officer has been submitted, so we've made an adjustment."
Nyota could only stare in shock, unable to fully process what she was hearing. Cautious happiness, outrage, and fury were competing for her attention, and since she had none to spare, Nyota had to shove her emotions in a box and push them aside for later. This was the final deliberation about her future and she needed everything she had to keep up.
"Rather than starting at Ensign, you will be promoted to Lieutenant Commander. However, you will not be eligible for promotion for three years. At that time, assuming your record has stayed clean, you may apply for promotion if you so choose and there is an open position.
"You will either accept the Communications Officer request or you will be posted wherever StarFleet feels like sending you – and you will not be able to transfer for the same three-year probationary period."
After a long moment fraught with too many emotions to name, Komack smiled grimly and said, "Well, Cadet? What's your answer?"
Nyota met his gaze evenly, glanced at the others, and fixed her eyes on Barnett. "Permission to speak, Sir?"
"Granted – but not to speak freely, Cadet. You may only ask about the options presented for your continuing career in StarFleet."
"Thank you, Sir." At that, Nyota paused, working out which question she wanted to ask first, before deciding. "Sir? Where did the request for Communications Officer come from?"
Barnett smiled at that, though it had little humor. A minute later, Nyota understood why.
"It came from James T. Kirk, Captain, U.S.S. Enterprise."
The stunned silence that followed that pronouncement lasted nearly three minutes while Nyota Uhura frantically struggled to take it in. James 'I'm a slut' Kirk had been promoted to captain? Even as the thought formed, though, she cut it off. She didn't like him. He was obnoxious, arrogant, and a smart-ass. He was also a shockingly good leader when it wasn't a game, and she was forced to admit that he could and did take ideas from everyone, which he had been able to work into a viable plan, both against Nero and later, when they were trying to get home with no warp engines, a ship crewed at half-capacity, and a grand total of twenty-seven ranking officers, none of whom were on the Command track.
Still. Serving under James Kirk for three years?
Being dishonorably discharged and having to explain that every time she tried to go elsewhere.
Taking a deep breath, Nyota Uhura made her decision.
"I accept the alternative offer, Sirs," she announced. "When do my apologies need to be made?"
Komack fielded that with a quick glare at Barnett, who was opening his mouth.
"We will contact the required people, Cadet, and let you know when the place and time have been decided."
"Yes, Sir."
After her acknowledgement, Nyota stood awkwardly, wondering what she was supposed to do or say now. Barnett took pity on her after a moment and took the hearing to its conclusion. His voice was still even, and his eyes still held that unknown emotion, but it had been tempered by just a hint of approval.
"To summarize, Cadet, the decisions of this hearing are as follows:
1. )Insubordination, first count: one-year probationary reprimand.
2.) Insubordination, second count: permanent reprimand
3.) Fraternization/Unprofessional conduct: three individual public apologies, one group public apology, three-year freeze on promotion and transfer opportunities."
When Barnett finished speaking, there was another moment of silence before all four men stood. Barnett met each man's eyes before looking at Nyota.
"Dismissed, Cadet."
Nyota Uhura came to regulation-perfect attention, saluted, and snapped out a crisp "Aye, Sir!" before turning into a sharp about-face and leaving the room.
And as she marched back down the corridor, her footsteps echoing despite the carpet, Nyota had to appreciate the irony of her first thought when heading to that meeting. Like the hallway, her room, her classes, and her dreams, Cadet Nyota Uhura also found herself empty.
Finis
