Disclaimer: I own nothing, I've never owned any of it, and I don't ever plan on it...but hey, one can always hope

More Than Worthyby Bunny

The rain pelted down against the roof of a dreary grey building. A strike of lightning and a colossal boom of thunder immediately woke Nymphadora Tonks, who, until a moment ago, had been sleeping peacefully in the small flat she shared with her husband. Breathing deeply after being frightened, Tonks placed a protective hand across her belly. Though it was impossible to tell by looking at her, it was true that Tonks was two months pregnant.

"It's all right, little one. Mummy was just frightened by a little thunder, but Daddy's here to-" Tonks turned to her right to face her husband, but found his place in bed empty. "Remus," She whispered, her eyes searching the room for him. Hearing no reply, the young woman quickly rose from her bed and felt his spot, it was no longer warm. Fearing the worst during these dangerous times, Tonks raced from room to room calling out her husband's name. After searching the entire flat thoroughly and finding no trace of him, Tonks returned to their bedroom her eyes darting across the room for clues of his whereabouts. Finding none shesat down on their creaky bed, heart racing with fear, and toyed with her wedding band. Through her mind ran the most recent things Remus had said to her:

"You can't be pregnant, my kind don't usually breed."

"I love you, I do it's just-"

"I need a break from this."

She had asked him what this was, but he had just shaken his head and left the room. Tonks figured he had meant work, but what if this was her. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Tonks pulled her cold feet up and lay her head on his pillow. The crinkle of paper beneath her caused her to sit up and feel the sheets again. Her nimble fingers found a piece of tightly folded paper and a small, round piece of metal. She pulled both out from beneath her and gasped at the metal substance. Tonks placed her husbands ring on her finger next to her own as tears formed in her eyes, and she immediately unfolded the letter. The salty tears rolled down her face as she read his cramped, neat writing, but she defiantly wiped them away. What she was reading could not be true; there was no way in Merlin's name that anything she was reading could be true. Tonks threw down the letter in rage, confusion, and heartbreak and ran outside their flat. She stumbled blindly down four flights of stairs and with her last ounce of strength, pushed open the heavy front doors of the building.

"Remus!" she cried as her suddenly dark brown eyes searched the lot. "R-remus, no!"

0.o0.o0.o

Remus Lupin stood outside flat 34D gathering as much courage as he could before knocking on the door. Millions of thoughts flew through his mind, but the one that worried him the most was of her safety while he was gone. Taking one last deep breath, he knocked lightly on the door. It flew open almost immediately, as if the woman who lived there had been waiting behind the door for him to knock. Remus' mouth fell open slightly as he took in the young woman's appearance. Her hair was the same mousy brown as it had been the days he denied his love for her. Her eyes were dull, as if the fire that usually flamed behind them had been put out, and the thing about her that bothered him the most was how undernourished and pale she looked.

"Tonks," he croaked, his voice hoarse and hollow from not being used recently. "I-" Before he could continue, Tonks had pulled out her wand and had it to his throat.

"Who are you?" she whispered, her eyes narrowed as she scrutinized him. She noticed his unshaven face, the way he kept his head bent but eyes on hers, and the subtle trace of hunger. Remus cracked a wry smile, approving the fact that she was checking his identity.

"I am Remus John Lupin, werewolf. Husband to Nymphadora Tonks and father to her unborn chi-"

"No!" Tonks barked, alarming Remus. "I want to know who you are, and what you have done with my husband, the man who loved me and the man who I love." Tonks began trembling and Remus wondered if it was because it was a cold night or if it was out of rage.

"For better or for worse, Remus! Remember that? Remember that promise you made me? That bloody, broken promise that you couldn't keep! For better or for worse! Little words, meant nothing to you when you promised them to me, did they Lupin!" Tonks was near hysterics now as she clutched onto his ragged cloak searching his eyes for the truth. "Why couldn't you keep that promise?" She screeched. "Why couldn't you,"

"Calm down!" Remus told her quietly as he grabbed her fists, preventing her from banging them against his chest again. Tonks took a deep sickening breath, looking as if she'd just been slapped across the face.

"Calm down?" She repeated her voice at a deadly low pitch. "Calm down! You told me to calm down when you finally admitted you loved me! You told me to calm down when you proposed to me! You told me to calm down when we made love, when we wed, when I told you I was pregnant! But now, now, you are in no position to tell me to calm down again!" Tonks was in his face, her eyes red with fury her hair, still mousy brown, standing up in spikes. "You, you, can not tell me to calm down after what you have done to me, after leaving me, Lupin."

"Nymphadora, I made a mistake. You read my letter; you've heard me say it thousands of times, my kind-"

"You're kind don't usually breed. I've heard all of your bloody lies time and time again. Remus, we were not breeding. Breeding is what wild animals do to keep their species alive,"

"Tonks, I am a wild animal! What if the child turns out like me, what if I pass on my curse to this innocent, unborn child?" Remus gestured toward Tonks' stomach, and only then did he realize how large she had grown while he was gone. She had one hand across her stomach, as if to protect the baby from any harm the outside contained.

She is so brave and courageous. What have I done? Remus thought as small tears welled in Tonks' eyes.

"You are no wild animal." Tonks whispered grabbing one of his hands and placing it on her stomach. "You are a man, Remus. My, our man." She moved his hand to where the baby was moving at the moment, and Remus gasped when he felt the baby kick. As quickly as he felt it, the movement stopped and Remus looked at her shaded face.

"Four months, Remus. The house was too silent. I had but my own poisonous thoughts to keep me company." Remus' eyes widened in disbelief, and Tonks pushed his hand off her stomach. She seemed to shrink into the flat. "And this," Tonks held up her left hand revealing their rings, side by side. "Till' death do us part." she whispered hiding the scars he noticed on her wrist. Curious as to what they could be from Remus grabbed her arm and held it out to the light. The scars were nearly healed, small and narrow. They decorated her wrist in intricate patterns only cuts could make. Remus held her wrist to her face.

"Tonks you didn't,"

"Four months is a long time, Remus" she repeated prying his fingers from her arm.

"Nymphadora, you know better than to hurt yourself like that. You could have killed yourself." Remus scolded his eyes wide in shock.

"If that didn't kill me your absense would have," she retaliated, "but now we are alike. We both have scars from things we wish hadn't happened." Her hard eyes bored into his own as she rubbed her wounded wrist.

"Tonks, I never meant to hurt you like that, I just thought maybe I could save us both from this." He gestured between the two of them.

"Elaborate on the 'this', Remus." Her challenge hung in the air and Remus' raised hand fell limp to his side.

"Us!" he exclaimed exassperated. " I couldn't take it anymore. Knowing that by being with you I was pulling you away from society, taking you away from your once normal life. I couldn't deal with the happiness that I knew I didn't deserve." Tonks shook her head and when she looked up again her eyes showed her dissappointment.

"Remus, my life has never once been normal. You, and my relationship with you is about as normal as I have ever gotten." Suddenly her eyes brimmed with tears as she chastised him, " And can you stop thinking about whats 'best' for me for once? I wanted this. I chose this. And under no circumstances am I willing to give up on this. And for the record, I think you deserve more than just this happiness." Looking down, Tonks placed both hands on her swollen stomach and watched Remus for any sign of remorse for what he had done to her. "What did I do wrong? I can change, Rem-"

"It's not you, no. It was never you, don't ever think or believe that." taking a wary step foreward, he cupped her face in his hand and kissed her softly on the lips. She didn't respond, only standing limp before him. Remus sighed and released her. "Tonks, you are worth more than I ever will be." He wiped her eyes and kissed her forehead. He placed his hands on her stomach on top of her own and began humming. There was no tune to his song, just notes, but each note, each hum brought color to Tonks' cheeks. She cut him off on a low note.

"Remus you don't know how much I hurt while you were gone. You will never understand what it was like without you there." She stepped back from him. "Your note was nothing but sharp daggers stabbed into my broken heart. Remus, I didn't know what to do! You weren't there when I began showing, when I had to enlarge my clothes so they actually fit, when the baby first kicked. You were gone!" Tonks wailed, leaning against the door for support. Remus seemed shattered, torn between comforting her and giving her space. Deciding to be there for her for once through this pregnancy, he cautiously stepped forward and pulled her into him.

"Harry was right," he whispered into her hair. "I belong with you, and I plan to stay here if you'll let me."

"Remus, I want you back, I do." she murmured into his chest "but I'm afraid you'll leave me again. I would die; I could barely do it this time around. I can't live without you Remus, but I don't want to be hurt." Remus released his tiny, pregnant woman and stepped out of the flat.

"I understand." Bowing slightly he began to walk swiftly down the hallway, but stopped immediately when he heard Tonks crying.

"That's it! You're not even going to wait for me to take you back. You aren't going to defend yourself, to throw yourself into the room and cling to the sofa?" Tonks hobbled after him. "That is how much you love me, enough to-"

"What? If I threw myself at you, you'd kick me out. I'm not worthy of your love, Tonks."

"You are more than worthy! Please Remus, come back. Please, I love you. I need your love and support." Tonks fell to her knees and Remus couldn't help but run to her side.

"I love you, Tonks. I always have and always will. I was a fool, an idiot for leaving you. I couldn't survive without you, Tonks. Will you take me back?" He kissed her gently and this time she clung to him. She held him in a kiss and took him in, every scar, and every wrinkle. She placed his calloused hands on her stomach once again and leaning against his shuddering shoulder whispered the four words Remus had been dying to hear,

"Welcome home, my love."

reviews are, as always, greatly appreciated!