Apparently AU, because Fred's still around whilst Hermione is working at the ministry.
Disclaimer: I gain nothing but satisfaction and maybe few reviews. Enjoy!
"mortified"
The first rule of the Weasley household has always been 'never accept a sweet from the twins'; it's a rule which Hermione really ought to have understood after more than a decade of knowing her surrogate family.
-:-
The twins cowered, backed into a corner by a curly-haired tempest.
"I propositioned the Minister," she hissed through her teeth, bushy hair crackling with magical static. "I propositioned the Minister in front of our combined departments, felt up the Bulgarian ambassador's arse, insulted our primary benefactor and performed a strip tease at the Christmas Gala."
Fred barely succeeded in schooling a smirk at the thought but Hermione surged on with a pointed glare: "Do you have any idea, either of you, how damaging this could be to my career?"
"Hermione, darling," George soothed, "do you have any idea at all of the absolute impenetrability of your career? It would take more than a pervy loss of inhibitions to set you back even a step!"
"You're the most valuable asset the Ministry's ever had," Fred added. "And I'm sure, considering your lovely face, Mr Bulgaria had no complaints."
"If that was supposed to vindicate me in some way it really didn't work," Hermione growled before sending her gaze skyward. "Godric! Lose-Your-Inhibition Beans aside, how am I ever going to look at any of those people in face again?"
"After the show you put on you probably won't have to worry too much about wizards looking at your face," Fred offered somewhat misguidedly.
The hex she sent at the pair of them relieved them of their eyebrows and turned their skin a fetching shade of blue - really, after all this time, the twins should have known better than to try their tricks on Hermione Granger without expecting retribution.
She left them backed up against the storeroom wall and stormed out, already thinking of a hundred ways to salvage her reputation.
"Well," concluded Fred in the wake of her exit, "it definitely needs a tone down."
"Definitely," George agreed. "But I'm so glad we tested it on Hermione first. Can you imagine what a regular person might have done with their inhibitions so far reduced?"
"Hardly bears thinking about."
There was pregnant pause, and then George postulated, "Lee next?"
"Naturally," Fred replied.
Two identical mischievous grins lit up the room.
End.
Read and review responsibly, please and thank you, because this was rather fun to write and I'd like to know if you enjoyed it, too.
