Disclaimer: You really think that an unemployed teenager owns Victorious? This is worse than I thought…

a/n So I've had this ff account for ages! Well I finally wrote something! Yay! *is proud of herself* so anyway, this is my first fanfic ever! Funny story (To my tired mind anyway): I was trying to think of a name for this and all I could think of was "jadism" which is a story by demondreaming, who is like my idol. So, ignore the lame name and read the dang story already!

I am a bad person. I know this, I've accepted it. Because no matter how hard I try to be better it never works out. So I've learned to go with it. I let the poison spew out of my mouth and I hurt people. It's who Jade west is. Most of the people at Hollywood Arts are used to it; they've known me long enough to build up a slight defense. But then Tori Vega came along. Poor, weak, unprepared Tori. I swear I didn't think about it, I didn't mean to be so cruel to her; I just took it for granted that she would shrug it off like the rest of the people I pick on. And I thought she was, I mean no like being picked on, but she didn't seem any more bothered by it that anyone else.

So when I walked in to the bathroom after school I thought that the sounds of crying were fake. I mean, this school is full of people who practice at random times. In fact it kind of annoyed me how often people will do weird stuff and than say, "I'm practicing".

"Shut the fuck up!" I said banging on the door. Apparently I hit harder than I thought because the lock snapped. "Can't you practice somewhere else," I continued as I opened the door. I froze, "Tori?" She was sitting on the toilet with her feet curled up under her, and those were not fake tears on her face. She looked up her eyes wide in fear. I shuffled awkwardly in the doorway, I knew friends were supposed to try and comfort each other, right? I can do comfort, I can do it-

"What's the matter with you?"

Oops, that didn't come out the way I wanted. I was going for concerned and caring friend, but I sounded more like annoyed bitch.

She gaped at me for a little while before standing up, her eyes flashing with anger. "What's the matter with me? With me? What's the matter with you! I though "new school, fresh start" right?"

I said nothing, just watching her, trying to figure out how to fix this. She stomped closer to me, "But you hate me!" she poked me in the chest "I don't know what I did to you!"

I didn't know what she was talking about; I didn't hate her, not really. In fact I had always kind of liked her more than everyone else. "I don't hate you Tori," I snorted. Oh, snorting was not fitting in with the "caring" vibe I was going for. Maybe I should stop talking now. "Yes you do!" her voice got higher and I could see the genuine hurt in her eyes. What was strange was, it made me feel bad. Like I said I've accepted that I will never be able to be a "good" person, so it doesn't bother me when people are hurt by me. But this was different, the look in Tori's eyes, was making me feel… funny inside.

"You are always insulting me and putting me down and-"

I don't know why I did it. I mean I guess I just wanted her to shut up. And like I said, I really kind of liked her. But all I know for sure is that one second I was listening to her rant and the next I was pressed close to her and I was… kissing her. One hand on her face, tilting her chin up and one on her hip; it wasn't much of a kiss, she just stayed there, not kissing back, but not pulling away either. Her lips were soft and warm, and this felt a lot different than kissing Beck. And maybe I should've felt guilty about Beck, but our love life had been pretty cold between us for a while.

But this kiss was making me feel things I hadn't ever felt with Beck. I just kissed her to shut her up, but maybe there was something else to this. I already knew I liked her more than most people, but maybe I liked her even more than I knew.

I pulled back a little, and I could taste her on my lips.

"I don't hate you." I whispered, keeping my hands planted on her. I stole another kiss before saying "Believe me now?" she looked kind of dazed, I wondered if she was just too shocked to pull away from me or if she was enjoying this as much as me. She looked up into my eyes and I don't think I've ever seen eyes as stunning as hers. I wiped her cheeks, brushing away the tears.

"J-jade?" she had this adorable confused look on her face. She raised her hands up to my face and touched my cheek with trembling hands.

"Yeah?" I smirked. I rubbed her cheek with my thumb.

"This isn't another one of your tricks is it? You're-you're not just messing with me?" her voice was trembling now too, and I could see the emotion threatening to spill in her eyes. I kissed her again, savoring the feeling of her lips on mine. This time she kissed me back. I thought that the first kiss had felt good, but this was wow. Tori is a good kisser.

Finally the need to breathe became urgent and we broke apart, breathing hard.

"It's not a trick" I said. I pressed my fore head to hers and looked into her eyes to see if she believed me.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and moved even closer to me.

"Then what is this Jade?" she buried her face into my neck like she was afraid to hear the answer.

I started rubbing her back in small circles.

"What do you want it to be?"

a/n Well tell me what you thought! Don't just sit there like a lemon! Lemons… such naughty implications now… my parents wonder why I blush when I hear that word… Anywho, This could be just a one shot or I might try to turn it into a multi chapter thingy-ma-jiggers. Review and tell me what you think I should do! Or, you know, I'll die or something.

Edit: some grammer, a few things that I saw in my head but neglected to put down, yada yada. I probably change some more, because I'm kinda obsessive about editing…