Hi everybody! I'm back with "15 things Jacob does in his free time" ^^ Feel free to tell me if I made mistakes and mainly to review.
Disclaimer: (That came out of my crazy mind lol)
Me: 3…2…1… aaaand ACTION!!
Jacob: Help me! That crazy girl abducted me and is making ME, the hottie of the whole Rez who can become a BBW (stands for Big Bad Wolf of course!!) when protecting his girl, WORK !
Me: You dog!
Jacob (whispering): She's worse than Blondie!
Me: I heard that! But…(making supposedly irresistible puppy eyes) I thought you were the best… and I wanted the best for my disclaimer…
Jacob: I can't help it… I guess I AM the best out there… Hey, you heard that, Eddie-poo? Hehe… Zoom on my beautiful face, woman!
Me: Grr…
Jacob: Who's the dog now?
Me (whispering too low for him to hear): Too bad I can't turn this into a snuff movie…
Jacob (smiling to the camera): A certain psycho-girl named Raya95…hey, is that an alien name? Whatever… She wants me to say she doesn't own Harry Potter…
Me: Twilight!!!!
Jacob: Yeah, Twilight… Or me, too bad for her hehe… She just owns the ideas, not that she has a creative mind (smiles)
Me: This is SO going to be a snuff movie… (angelic psycho smile)
And, after the longest disclaimer ever (which seems longer than my ridiculous fanfic)… The fanfiction itself…
15 things Jacob does in his free time
1) Eating
2) Making his house as dangerous as he can in order to watch Bella fall ("It's just so funny! Hey… I could add more carpets… need to see Emmett…")
3) Eating
4) Playing "Whose howl is the scariest?" with the rest of the pack
5) Sharing supposedly secret tribal stories with people he's played in the mud with
6) Fantasizing on a Master cylinder
7) Fantasizing on Bella washing his 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit which HAS a Master cylinder (" That's some evolution for you! I'm SO smart! I should really consider being an alpha…")
8) Hiding Billy's wheelchair when the poor man is sleeping
9) Imagining him shaving Edward's head, hence making him a new addition to the Bald Club (of which a certain Lex is president)
10) Drinking strawberry syrup whenever Bella's looking, in hopes that it makes her fall for him ("She IS fascinated by bloodsuckers, isn't she? My evil plan is just BRILLIANT!")
11) Organizing eating contests at Bella's on her back
12) Buying digestives for AFTER the said eating contests
13) Learning the choreography of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" with the rest of the pack ("Bonding time, we need!" Sam had explained.)
14) Annoying Edward by thinking of Bella and himself kissing
And, since *BREAKING DAWN SPOILER* he and Renesmee started to date:
15) Regretting it because Edward tells on him… to Renesmee. And that's not good (for him).
How did you like it? I was completely LMAO at 4 am when 8) popped in my mind LOL Laughing at my own jokes is pathetic…
