Rating is Mature cause I understand that the language is too based for some folk.
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YamChamp
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Based Bandit Adventures
(Original Story, thatwouldkindabe approved by Akira Toriyama. DO NOT STEAL!)
Chapter 1.
Based Break Up. Pt 10 outa 50
"Stop lying to me.." Bulma spoke, puffing out her cheeks in a pout as she narrowed her eyes down at the Strawberry Banana Razamatash smoothie I bought for her at Jamba Juice.
That's where we were at by the way, Jamba Juice- Not no cheap ass Orange Juilius. I knew for a fact that only scrub ass niggas took their bitches to rundown, knock-off establishments like that when they didn't have enough paper in their wallet for a fuckin' Pomegranate Paradise smoothie, let alone a fuckin' cup of ice water at Starbucks, unlike ME.
I was the best mothafuckin' player on the Hercule City Taitans! I was getting all the chedder and swiss from that boss-ass job, and thanks to that, I was making it rain on my soon to be Ex, Bulma Briefs..
It was a nice ass day out.. the sun was shining, Chinese niggas and human-ass animals were walking down the populated streets of the inner city and shit, enjoying the fuck out of their day... While I was sitting inside of dope ass Jamba juice, about to argue with my bae who was trippin' at the moment..
She caught me slippin earlier.. I knew I had to play it off.
"Hm? I didn't quite hear you- Did you say something Bulma, or am I hearin' shit?" I said aloud, but mosly to myself as I eased both my hands behind the awesome hearing aids, bedazzled with 50 carat diamond earrangs that I bought with my fuckin money for my boss ass birthday last month- known as my ears.
We were about to get into another arguement about Kami knows what, and I was ready to brush that shit under the finest and most expensive figurative persian rug brah..
"You know what I'm talking about Yamcha!" she snapped, the tone of annoyance apparent in her voice. "I saw you looking at that girl back there.. You're always looking at other girls."
"More like: They're always looking at me." I corrected, raising my 'You better check yourself' finger to her. "I swear Bulma, it seems like everywhere we go, women eye me like I'm just some hunk of meat- A hunk of meat decked in the freshest J's, most expensive diamonds, and flyest gucci suits. They see me for my money that I make on the team, nothing more. They don't see me as Yamcha- They just see me as a fresh ass nigga that got dolla's to spend on'em. But I ain't like that.. you know that. I just wish they were like you Bulma." I uttered in the lowest of tones, smiling warmly as I reached to hold that hoe's left hand.
She smiled like the stupid bitch I knew she was. "Teehee, yeah! Girls these days right?!"
"Right." I agreed, retracting my hand to later rub whatever germs and bacteria I gripped on the fabric of my sweatpants.
That's right. I was wearing sweatpants and a Lil B 'Based God' sweatshirt with the sleeves ripped off on a warm ass day- So what? The attire was comfortable as fuck, looked good on me, and I knew if any random ass nigga wanted to step to me to try and front for other niggas, or paparazzi cuz I'm famous 'nd shit, my fresh ass attire was loose, expensive and breathable enough for me to knock the shit out of any nigga.
Why?
Cause that was just the type of Chinese nigga I am..
That's the type of Chinese nigga I'm always gonna be...
Speaking of Chinese niggas, I was wondering just how my fam back at the Kame house was doing. That nigga Roshi was always cool- blazin' it whenever the fuck he wanted and chillin' around his house cause he was just THAT DUDE, while those pussy ass niggas Oolong and Krillin sat around and.. ate each other out or some shit.. cause that's what faggots do.
They weren't my fam. When I said "fam" before, I only meant Roshi, and maybe my nigga Tien, but not those pussies. Oh and my nigga Goku too, but fuck his son. Gohan hella weak.
"I swear, I'm the luckiest girl in the world." Bulma said in a lovesick sigh as she rested the weight of her chin in her right palm- snapping me outta my prior thoughts, but not really cause I'm a focused-ass nigga with an I.Q of 10,000.
I smirked, knowing damn well I was runnin' through this bitch's mind like my name was Usain Bolt- but it wasn't, It was Yamcha.. Yamcha Based-Bandit Bolt, my nigga.
"Yeah, you a lucky ass girl. All these random ass THOTs wanna be you bae, cause they know you messin' with a top tier ass nigga like me!"
"Yeah.. but HEy!-"
"Also cause you're beautiful and stuff I guess." I added, just to make sure she didn't get mad or something.
I been dating Bulma on and off for years, and I learned over time that if you didn't pay her a compliment at least once a day, she'd flip and want to break up.
She was so conceited and manipulative. Usin' my heart and treatin' my luv like it was some kind of joke. I was sick of that honestly.
The only real reason I was allowing her to stay in a relationship with me tho, was because I was giving that hoe multiple chances to change from her dark and often miguided ways, cause that was the kind of nice, humble, rich ass nigga I was.
I rolled my eyes, already annoyed by the thought of how childish and strayed Bulma was, but I kept it to myself, cause I knew when to be composed and stuff- I didn't let pety shit get to me. I was the bigger man in every situation no matter what.
"I'mma head to the Fam's house to say wassup, okay?"
I said it in a question, but I meant it as a bold ass statement of what I was gonna do cause I couldn't be stopped. Bulma didn't get that nor did she respect it.. that was another thing that I was getting sick of.
"Huuuuuuh?" she said in a whine like those over animated sensei-desu japanese bitches would say. "But Yamcha, it's Date-day, I thought we'd go eat at Red Lobster after this and-"
"Bulma please!" I voiced, almost shaking the damn room with the bass in my fuckin throat 'nd shit alone. "Did I just buy you the best fuckin' smoothie here or NAW? Did we not spend time with each other for about 30 minutes, or NAW?"
"W-We did, but-"
"But you still want mo' of my money right?! I swear, you da' same hoe that flashed me her tits back in the summer of '98-"
"Whoa, Yamcha wait-"
"We're done Bulma. I can't deal with'chu right now. I honestly thought you was a down bitch that loved me for me, but now you talking about me takin' you to 5 star restaurants like Red Lobster- RED LOBSTER MY NIGGA? IS YOU SERIOUS? You actin' like I got'a wine and dine you 'nd shit ALL THE TIME... nigga please. I'm out."
I stretched my arms out like I was a damn model airplane before reaching the door and exiting the establishment- only then did I slide my lotioned ass hands in the pockets of my dope ass sweats and stunt down the street like the boss ass nigga I was.
I was free of that conceited hoe Bulma and done with her money suckin' ways.
Now I was headin' to the Fam's house to say wassup.
On the Next Chapter of YamChamp- Based Bandit Adventures:
Things will get pretty based. Thank you Lil B.
