This fic takes place after Yuuki is awakened as a pureblood vampire and also after Zero kills Rido. And let us all pretend that Zero still loves Yuuki and doesn't want to kill her. I don't know if I should make this AU or not, but I guess we'll just find out later.
Credit goes to YenGirl, whose story "A Fleeting Memory" inspired me to write this one. Thank you so much! Also, the part that mentions Seiren's parents having been bodyguards of Haruka and Juri comes from BlackenedWing's "Secrets in the Dark". Both these authors mentioned are truly awesome and talented people and I recommend that you read their stories if you haven't already.
I hope you all enjoy and please review! ^-^
I don't own Vampire Knight or any of its characters—this fic was made mostly for fun.
Crush
By JennyJeannette
"I'm not coming with you, Kaname-senpai. I'm sorry."
Kaname felt the impact of her words ram into him like a boulder. Right then and there, all he wanted to do was bury himself into the ground and never come out again. There was nothing for him anymore. Nothing. All his hard work wasted. From the very beginning, he knew that this was a possibility, but he was too stubborn to believe that it would actually happen.
How could you, Yuuki? When I've been waiting for you for ten years… how could you do this to me?
Kaname nodded slowly and said, "I understand." The words came out quieter than he intended them to, and he winced. He clenched the hand that wasn't affected by Zero's attacks from earlier, afraid that if he didn't it would begin to shake.
Tears streamed down Yuuki's face, and she let out a sob. She cried out, "I'm so sorry, Onii-sama!" and flung herself at the older vampire, hugging him tight and sobbing against his shirt.
Kaname stayed still, not even bothering to wrap his arms around her like he used to. He looked past her sobbing form and at Zero, who stared back at him, eyes wide. Kaname managed to glare viciously at the silver-haired hunter, but when there was not one but five Zeros standing in front of him he knew that he was falling apart. Tears clouded his normally perfect vision and streamed down his pale face. When his body began to shake, he knew he had to go. Slowly and gently, he pulled Yuuki's arms away from him, looking at the ground, his long bangs covering most of his face.
Yuuki uttered a soft cry, and was about to lunge at him again when he stepped out of her range. The last thing he said was "Take care of her, Kiryuu-kun," before disappearing into the night.
…
Seiren placed the last of her belongings in her pack, making sure that she hadn't forgotten anything. She took one last look at the home she'd been living in for the past two years. She didn't really care about leaving, as long as she was somewhere around Kaname. Though she never expressed it, Seiren had been in love with the pureblood ever since she'd caught her first glimpse of him as a child, so many years ago. She always believed that it was sheer luck that she was appointed his bodyguard, and she was always grateful that she had the chance to protect the most wonderful person ever.
Seiren sighed, slinging the pack over her shoulder. But now… now Kaname had someone else. Seiren had always known that he was interested in that Cross girl, but as she learned the truth of the girl's true heritage, she couldn't help being envious of her. She even ended up wishing that Yuuki was never awakened, for if she was still human, Seiren would be able to protect Kaname again.
Seiren walked out of her room and closed the door shut. Earlier, Kaname had told her and the others that they were no longer obligated to serve him, but she had already made the decision that she would follow him wherever he went. If he was ever in trouble, she would be there to protect them, because that was what she was born to do.
Downstairs in the lobby, the members of Kaname's inner circle were anxiously waiting for the return of their leader. Like Seiren, they were all intent on staying with Kaname, with the exceptions of Ichijo, Shiki, and Rima. As she made her way down the stairs, Aido stared at her through surprised blue eyes.
"Seiren, you're still here?" he asked, shock obvious in his voice.
Seiren didn't even look at him. "Accompanying my master is the only path for me."
Aido's eyes narrowed. "So you're coming, too…"
All vampires stiffened as the doors to the Moon Dormitory swung open. Standing in the doorway was Kaname, alone, with blood dripping from one of his coat sleeves.
"Kaname-sama!" Ruka cried in horror, taking in the scent of her leader's blood.
"Don't worry about it," Kaname assured her, as well as the rest of them. He pressed his bad arm against his chest and searched through the face of his loyal followers. From the looks of things, he could tell that they were all planning on following him, much to his dismay. Right now, all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and just stop living, and he knew he couldn't do that with others watching.
So he turned to the one person he trusted most, but then changed his mind, realizing that Ichijo was no longer there. His best friend, probably gone forever…
"Seiren," he called to the violet-haired girl. "Will you drive me home? I don't think I can do it with one hand." And with a broken heart too, his subconscious added.
Seiren bowed, her right hand over heart. "Of course, Kaname-sama." She hid her joy with the cold mask she usually put on, so as to not give away anything.
The one question on everybody's minds was "Where is Yuuki-sama?" but from the way Kaname looked at them, they could tell it would be bad for both the pureblood and the noble to bring up the topic. Kaname decided that it would be better if he voiced it now, so he said, "While I'm gone, please protect Yuuki and Kiryuu-kun. I want no harm to come to them." With that being said, his heart sank to the ground, or that's how it felt like to him.
Seiren had seen the anguish that flashed in his eyes, even though it lasted only a second. She knew how he must have felt after waiting ten years for his sister, and having been dumped the night she was awakened. Poor Kaname-sama…
Everyone except Seiren nodded, voicing words of loyalty and assurances toward Kaname. They all understood why Kaname wanted to leave, so they planned on giving him his privacy and carrying out his order.
Kaname nodded his gratitude, then turned to his bodyguard. The two exchanged a glance, then headed out of the school grounds and to the nearby town, where Seiren quickly found a car and shortly had them driving through the mountains, toward Kuran Manor.
The ride was very quiet, but that was how it always was when Seiren was with Kaname. She wished she was one of those fun, exuberant girls who could talk about anything with anyone, but if she were then she probably wouldn't have gotten the chance at being Kaname's bodyguard. Even so, she wished she could provide him the comfort that Yuuki always had. At that thought, Seiren felt another wave at jealousy towards the girl, this time mixed with betrayal and anger. How could she have left Kaname-sama for that hunter of all people? She didn't know how lucky she was, to have Kaname Kuran favor you for God's sake! Seiren realized quickly that she was gripping the steering wheel a little too hard, and with clenched teeth she forced those thoughts away and tried to drive normally. Her gaze drifted to the rearview mirror, where she could see Kaname clearly from the back seat. Thankfully, he hadn't seen her little episode because he was looking out the window, but from where she was seated she could tell that the pureblood was holding back tears. Seiren quickly looked away, abashed at having seen a pureblood in a stage of weakness.
You don't have to hide around me, Kaname-sama, she wanted to say. If only you would let me, I'd try to take all the hurt away…
When Seiren made sense of their surroundings, she realized with grim thoughts that they had finally reached their destination. The car was parked in front of a silver metal gate, and beyond the gate was the Kuran Manor. She had been here only once before today, when she was young and had accompanied her parents who were bodyguards of Haruka and Juri Kuran, into the house to talk about some business issues with the purebloods.
Kaname roused himself, rubbing his eyes and looking out the window once again, to find that he was at his home again. It hurt to think of all the memories and events that happened in that house, but he had nowhere else to go besides here and Cross Academy. And he decided he'd never go back to the latter.
Kaname's mind registered that someone had driven him here, and that that someone was Seiren. He leaned forward and tapped her shoulder gently, saying, "Thank you, Seiren. I appreciate your help."
Seiren's response was immediate. "Anything for you, Kaname-sama."
He smiled slightly, then stepped out of the car. He was about to sprint to the house when he heard the sound of a window being rolled down. He turned around to see Seiren slightly poking her head out the window, her cheeks red and her eyes narrowed.
"Kaname-sama, would you like me to stay and make dinner? I'm sure that your efforts today have made you hungry." Seiren blushed even harder when she realized that she had actually asked him if he'd like her to stay. Idiot! She yelled in her head.
Kaname was a little surprised to see Seiren offering such a thing, and he could tell that she was super embarrassed—something that was totally un-Seiren like. He went through his options quickly, choosing to let her stay because he hadn't called the servants to the house yet, and he had no one else to cook for him.
"Yes, I would like that very much. Thank you." He smiled after he said this, but he was sure Seiren hadn't bought it because his eyes were still emanating the anguish and pain his soul was going through.
Seiren nodded, then turned off the engine and stepped out. On the outside, she was extremely embarrassed about what she had implied in her question, but on the inside, she was joyous at the fact that Kaname had let her stay instead of sending her away. As she walked beside him toward the house, she tried to put her mask back on, but kept finding it really hard to do. She imagined her face to be bright cherry red instead of the usual pale, and wondered what Kaname might be thinking about her. Why was she acting like this? She blushed even deeper when she realized that she was completely alone with the pureblood, and that he was no longer tied to anyone now since Yuuki had decided to stay with Kiryuu.
Was she taking advantage of him? No! She shouted back silently. She told herself that she was just offering to make him dinner to ensure that he was okay before he left, that was all. She repeated this over and over again in her head until they reached the house, but when Kaname finally unlocked the front door a new thought came to mind. Will he let me stay and eat with him? No! Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Seiren was so busy arguing with herself that she almost didn't hear that Kaname was talking to her. She caught the words "…down the hall over there…" and looked to where Kaname was gesturing to. She assumed that he meant that that was where the kitchen was, so she nodded and bowed before heading towards it. When she was inside, she had absolutely no idea on what she was going to make. She poked around the cupboards and the refrigerator, but nothing came to mind.
How embarrassing it will be when you tell him that you don't know what to cook after offering to cook for him! The voice in her head cackled evilly, but Seiren paid no attention to it as she found a cookbook in the cupboard beside the refrigerator. She flipped through it quickly before settling on chicken soup, figuring that it would be easy to make and hoping that it would make Kaname feel better. And with that, she set to work.
…
Kaname was already sobbing before he even got to his room. He ripped his jacket off him and threw it on the floor before flinging himself onto his bed. He buried his face in one of the pillows, his tears creating a damp spot on the center of the pillow. His chest heaved, and he fought the urge to scream, knowing that Seiren was just a few rooms away from him. A while later, he thought he heard a voice in the room with him, but then he realized that it was his voice, sobbing Yuuki's name over and over again.
Ten years. Ten years lost and wasted. You had this coming, Kuran. Kaname covered his ears with his hands, trying to drown out the harsh voice that was chastising him. He knew perfectly well how much time he had wasted. He didn't need to be reminded of it repeatedly. Among the harsh, cold voices in his mind, was a light, cheery voice, which he instantly recognized as Takuma's voice. "At least she's safe," the imaginary Takuma assured him. "At least she's not alone; Kiryuu's with her."
Kaname let out another loud sob as he remembered his best friend. It felt like an eternity had passed since he had last talked to the blonde, at the Society, when Kaname was about to kill his grandfather. And now he's gone, too, said the harsh voice. Along with Yuuki, Juri, and Haruka. You are one unlovable Pureblood, aren't you? Kaname lost himself in the tears and agony, having completely forgot about the violet-haired vampire fixing him dinner a few doors down the hallway.
…
Seiren set one bowl of chicken soup at the head of the dining table, aligning it with silverware and napkins and the like. She had tasted it herself to make sure it wouldn't make the pureblood choke, and much to her surprise, it was actually pretty good for someone who's never cooked before in their whole life. After ensuring that everything was in perfect order and shape, Seiren set out to look for Kaname, reminding herself that once he was seated was the time that she would leave. It saddened her to know that she'd have to leave Kaname while he was still so heartbroken and sad, but according to the laws of society, leaving in this kind of situation was the right thing to do.
When she came across the door leading to Kaname's room, her heart stopped. Sounds coming from inside the room told her that the pureblood was sobbing hysterically; the sound of him crying made her want to cry as well, but she knew that now was not the time. Seiren didn't know whether or not she should go in, so she timidly knocked on the door and said, "Kaname-sama?"
She held her breath when the sobbing suddenly stopped, and the voice in her head was screaming, afraid that the pureblood would send her away. But instead, Kaname answered back with "Seiren?" in a voice that was so worn-out and weak and so unlike him, making the noble wonder briefly if someone had broken into the house, even though she could clearly sense the pureblood aura emanating from behind the door. The rational part of her told her to leave at once, but the part of her that was in love with the pureblood said otherwise. Also, Kaname had responded to her knock, so she just couldn't leave it unanswered. She opened the door slowly, hoping that the pureblood wouldn't send her away.
What she saw in front of her would make any normal vampire want to fall down and weep their eyes out, but Seiren wasn't a normal vampire. She was tougher than most, which was why she was the bodyguard of Kaname Kuran. She clenched her fists and gazed at the figure lying on the bed so innocently, so vulnerable, and so… so beautiful. She stepped forward, but then stopped. She had no idea what to say, for she'd never seen a pureblood, let alone Kaname Kuran, break down like this before.
So she opted for the simplest, most common line that anybody could come up with, "Are you okay?" She knew it was a stupid question, knowing that a pureblood crying is immediately not okay.
To her surprise, though, Kaname shook his head, letting out a few more sniffles. The brunette was embarrassed that the noble had found him this way, but he had to admit that if anyone was to find him in this state, he'd rather it be Seiren. Cool, calm, and understanding Seiren. Though she never talked much, her violet gaze told you that if needed, she'd be there for you. Always.
Seiren stepped forward again, and this time, she knelt by the bed until her face was on the same level as Kaname's. She was really afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing, but right now all that mattered to her was getting the pureblood to be okay again.
Tentatively, she stroked the pureblood's soft brown hair, intending it to be a soothing motion. When he shivered though, she pulled away, only to receive an apology from him. Kaname didn't look her in her eyes, mostly because he felt like a baby who was so pathetic it was just embarrassing.
"Hey," Seiren murmured, lightly tilting his chin up so he was facing her again. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Kaname thought for a bit, then shook his head. He didn't want to have another sobbing episode with Seiren in the room.
The noble nodded, understanding. She stood up and pulled the covers over him, having noticed that he was shivering rather violently. "Maybe you should get some sleep," she suggested, tucking him in. She felt really awkward—if Aido learned of this he would be completely jealous. She could imagine his high-pitched voice yelling, "How come YOU got to put Kaname-sama to bed?!" But as she heard it in her head it sounded kind of wrong, but she assured herself that Aido would never know of this anyway.
Seiren was about to head out when a hand grabbed lightly onto the bottom of her coat. She looked down again, and Kaname was holding onto her, his eyes watering again and his chest going through another round of sobs. "Yes, Kaname-sama?"
He looked at her for a moment, blushed, then looked down. In a voice so low even Seiren had to struggle to hear, Kaname asked, "Can you stay with me?" He looked up again, and Seiren could swear that he looked like one of those puppies from the shelter just with long brown hair and pale skin.
When it took Seiren a while to answer, Kaname nearly panicked. He wanted her to stay because… because he couldn't handle being alone. And he needed someone to comfort and hold him. He knew it sounded extremely pathetic, but he couldn't help it. He was always the one giving comfort, and now it was his turn to be on the receiving end.
Finally, the noble nodded, understanding clearly shown in her violet eyes. She decided that the best way to comfort him was to actually be physically touching him, so she asked the pureblood to scoot over and he complied. Seiren untucked him so she'd have space to sit under the covers with him, and as she slid under the covers, she felt her face reddening. She sat up, her back flat against the wooden headboard of the bed, with Kaname lying down beside her. Once she was situated, she gently pulled Kaname up so he was sitting, and positioned his head against her chest. She wrapped her arms around him, hoping her body heat would stop the pureblood from shivering so much.
Kaname burrowed against her shoulder, his frame starting to shake again because of the sobbing. Seiren noticed this, and hugged him tighter, rubbing his back as she did. She pressed her lips to his hair, inhaling his scent. Seiren celebrated silently, thinking that never in a million years did she think she'd get to hold Kaname like this. She rocked the sobbing figure in her arms slowly, humming a tune her mother sang to her when she was a child. When Kaname was starting to slacken in her arms, she knew he was about to fall asleep. Slowly, she set him down on the pillow, and climbed out from the covers. She tucked him in once again, amazed that even in sleep Kaname still looked beautiful.
Seiren smiled despite herself. "You were always beautiful to me," she whispered. "You don't deserve all this sadness. If I could, I would take away all your hardships. If only you'd let me…" Seiren wasn't thinking of the fact that the pureblood could hear what she was saying, but Kaname was already half-asleep, so not all the words made sense to him. He had wanted to thank Seiren for staying, but he was so tired he couldn't even speak.
Before he completely went under, he felt the touch of lips on his forehead. It took him a second to realize that those were Seiren's lips kissing his forehead. He was too out of it to stop her, but the truth was, he didn't really care. It felt nice to know that someone cared enough to stay with you for a night just to comfort you. Kaname wished that Seiren would stay though, but he couldn't voice it out loud. Right when he let his walls crash down and allowed his mind to surrender to the call of sleep, he heard the violet-haired vampire whisper something into his ear.
"I love you… Kaname-sama."
The End
When I finished writing this fic, I noticed that the Seiren in here was maybe a bit more OOC then I intended, because in the anime you see so little of her that you really can't tell how she thinks and talks.
For a while now, I'd wanted to experiment with a Kaname x Seiren fic, but I never knew how to actually start it until now. So thank you again, YenGirl!
Thanks so much for reading, I hope you liked it, and please review and favorite! ^-^
