A/N: Written for M and M last February. Human names used.

Prologue

At the kitchen table, Lovino was writing a note. Feliciano and Antonio would find it, and he hoped that they wouldn't blame themselves. This was all his fault, just like everything else. He wanted his death to hurt them as little as possible.

Lovino had no idea that Antonio was sitting in the bathroom of Casa Vargas crying and trying to escape from his mind. It was so dark and lonely, and so far away that not even Lovino had ever seen what was really going on in there.

Lukas sat on his bathroom floor, carefully pressing his blade into his flesh. He tried not to cry out, tried not to wake Emil. This was the last thing his little brother needed in his life.

Yao was hiding in a dark closet, behind rows of clothes. In the other room, he could hear Ivan banging around and yelling. Suddenly, everything went silent. Yao peeked out, hoping the episode was over. Before he could see what was going on, the clothes were pushed aside and a fist buried itself in his stomach.

Francis walked into his house and burst into tears. She was everywhere: her hat still sat by the door, a picture she had painted hung in the hall, her favorite music was all over the radio...There was nowhere Jeanne hadn't touched.

Matthew put down his suitcase, staring up at the apartment building where his half-brother lived. This would be home, at least for a little while. At least until he could figure out what he was doing with his life, how to escape from his past and do something worth doing. Until he could forgive himself for the crimes no one else knew he'd committed.

Gilbert and Denmark were robbing a convenience store, having a great time. They'd done this before, and they were sure that they wouldn't get caught. Then the police car, lights flashing, pulled up to the curb.

"I should start a Support Group," Tino mentioned to Berwald over dinner. "An anonymous one, so that anyone could come. I bet the community center could spare a room for a few minutes once a week..."

A/N: Written for two of my friends last February, with Missy Higgins playing at top volume. Human names are used (except for Denmark, idk why). Trigger warnings for negative self-talk and brief thoughts of suicide.

Meeting 1

The car pulled up slowly. Antonio didn't cut the engine, but neither of them got out. "You okay, Lovi?" he asked. All he got in response was a death glare and slammed door. He sighed, and watched to make sure his boyfriend made it into the community center. When he was out of sight, Antonio drove away.

"Alright, everyone," the group leader said, pulling his chair closer to the others. "Let's start with names. You can use whatever name you want, as long as it's appropriate. This is an anonymous group, so no one should feel pressured to use one name or another."

There was an awkward silence. Lovino surveyed his surroundings lazily: a small room filled with chairs, probably used for a million different things. There was a little row of windows along one side which let in a pitifully small amount of light. The other five guys were probably just like him: washed up losers, nothing to get excited about. He started a game of Angry Birds on his phone.

"So, who'd like to start?" the group leader pushed.

More silence.

"Okay, I'll go. We can rotate around the circle from here. I'm Tino."

Lovino looked up from his phone. Tino was staring expectantly at him. "What?"

"Your name?"

"Oh. Lovino." He buried himself back in the videogame as soon as the spotlight was off of him.

"Francis."

"The awesome Gilbert."

"Matthew."

"Denmark!"

"Your future murderer."

"I don't think that's appropriate for Group." Tino said.

"It becomes more appropriate with every passing second." the man answered.

Tino raised an eyebrow.

The man raised an eyebrow.

Tino crossed his arms.

The man crossed his arms.

"Are you really going to play this game?" Tino finally said, ending the face off.

"Lukas." the man said, now with a name. "And don't you dare forget it."

"He's friendly," Gilbert muttered sarcastically to Denmark, who snickered. Lukas didn't look at them. He knew that if he did he might...he might...Stop. He had to stop thinking about that. He grabbed his wrist and twisted viciously. He wouldn't think of that. He would not think of that.

"Do you have something you'd like to tell the Group?" Tino asked them. Across the circle, the man who had introduced himself as Francis started to cry softly. They guy next to him, whose name Lovino had already forgotten, shot him a concerned look. See, everyone cares about him. Everyone likes him already. No one would help if Lovino started crying. No one cares if you exist, you stupid ugly incompetent depressed messed-up useless- On his phone, Lovino failed a level, jerking him out of his daze.

"No." Gilbert said, looking down.

"Well, why are you here?" Tino pushed.

"'Cuz I stole some stuff, I guess. Denmark, too. We were a team, and got out on the same day a month ago. Figured it'd be pretty awesome to come here, just for fun." he said, fidgeting with a stuffed animal. It was tiny and fluffy...a chick?

"Denmark, do you have anything to add?" Tino asked.

"Nope. Just that we'd make a pretty great outlaw gang!"

"Oh, yeah! That would be so awesome! We could rob-"

"Gilbert, you are here to stop breaking the law, not to make more plans." Tino chastised him, trying to keep the two rebels on topic.

"Actually, as I just explained, we're here to have fun, hanging out together and meeting new people." Gilbert said. Lovino started a new game of Angry Birds.

"You don't have any intention of moving up in the world, finding something you love?" Tino persuaded, getting really into it. Lovino hated it when people thought that their measly strings of words held the answers to the universe. Francis let out a particularly loud sob.

"I love murdering people," Lukas said quietly.

"But is that something you really want to-" Tino started, but was cut off by the arrival of a young man with a ponytail, panting and wide-eyed. "Hello. Are you here for the anonymous support group?" The man nodded, looking for all the world like he'd just been running for his life from an axe murderer. He pulled up a chair and sat down in the circle, eyes darting around nervously.

"What's you name?" Tino asked with a reassuring smile.

"Y-Yao." he stuttered, gripping the edges of his chair. Lovino pocketed his phone. This was getting mildly interesting.

"Why have you decided to come to Group?" Tino said, still with that smile.

"I...I..." Yao said, looking for a way out of answering the question. Luckily for him, Francis chose that moment to sob dramatically.

"Jeanne!" he cried, clasping a hand to his heart. "The love of my life, no, of my world, has been cruelly taken from me!" Francis paused, posing as though he expected applause. He was met with silence. "Death! La mort le mal et horrible has taken my Jeanne from me!" After that, the theatrics fell away with every word. "We were meant to be! Like you find someone and you just fit with them, you know? And once they're gone half of you is gone too and everything, everything reminds you and you just can't move on..." he trailed off, in tears.

Lukas sighed. "I do wish the people I've killed had been more like this. The blubbering is the best part." The lie hit him like a bullet, physically hurting. He couldn't stop making those stupid comments, could he? Every word hurt, but he couldn't stop. Couldn't stop bringing it up, couldn't stop thinking about it...

"Lukas! That was an incredibly insensitive thing to say!" Tino said, patting Francis on the back. "There, there. Everyone takes time to grieve."

"Would anyone else like to speak?" Tino asked, brightening up at the prospect of more comforting words of wisdom he could offer. That guy next to Francis - what was his name? - he raised his hand, but Tino didn't seemed to notice. Instead, he seized on Denmark.

"You said that you enjoy crime. Why do you think that is?" Tino asked, as though it was a reading group discussion question in a Middle School English class.

Denmark shrugged, "What's fun is fun."

"And fun is awesome!" Gilbert added, grinning idiotically.

"I have to go," Yao said, standing suddenly. Tino checked his watch, eyebrows raising in surprise.

"Oh, dear. Actually, all of you have to go. My, how time flies! See you next week!" Tino announced as the others grabbed their bags and stood. Yao was the first person out the door, disappearing down the hall of the community center.

"Oh, and Lovino?" Tino called as the Italian reached the door. He stopped in his tracks, instantly alert. Had he said something wrong? Had he offended Tino? Had he just not been good enough? Who was he kidding, he was never good enough...

"I promise we'll get to you next time," Tino said, like that was a good thing.

"Can't fucking wait," Lovino said, and left as fast as he could.

The hallway was filled with people who had come to pick up their loved ones from Group. Lovino noticed Francis leaving alone, and Yao was long gone. Lukas was harshly dragging a boy a few years younger than him out the door, and that other guy (Martin? Matt?) was talking to a blond guy with glasses and a leather bomber jacket.

"Ve~ Lovi!" Feliciano bounced over to his brother. "I'm so glad to see you! Do you know that man's name?" He giggled. "He's so hot!" Lovino looked where his brother was pointing: right at one of Gilbert and Denmark's friends. He could hear Denmark from across the hall.

"I took my country's name as a sign of loyalty! I am not just from Denmark, I am Denmark! And if they won't let me apply for a job under that name, well, screw 'em!"

"Yeah, not him. Wrong crowd, Feli. Let's go." Lovino said, heading for the exit.

"Don't you want to meet them?" the smaller brother asked.

"No." Lovino said. I don't want to meet them or anybody else ever again because they all hate me and I'm so pathetic I couldn't even kill myself right.

Maybe I should try again.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Updates are Thursdays with bonus chapters on Sundays.