A/N: This story if for the Hogwarts Forum.
Class: Care of Magical Creatures
Task: Write about someone keeping a secret that is detrimental to them (either to their health or friendship).
Optional Prompt(s): quiet, cry, anger
Word Count: 800 words minimum, 4000 words maximum
Warnings: there is self-harm in this story. This is a dark fic.
Pain
The boy-who-lived, Harry Potter, grew up in a way that people knew little about. Many people thought that Harry was pampered and spoiled but the truth is quite the opposite. Harry was abused and starved of affection. He didn't have the childhood he deserved. And most people looked over this fact because well, he's the boy-who-lived. He saved everyone from Voldemort when he was just a toddler. Of course no one was going to care about how he grew up as long as he kept saving them. No one was going to question all the perils a child was being put through as long as he kept saving them. Maybe that's why one day, something snapped in Harry.
Harry knew that he was alone during the summer. He had Hedwig but that was all the company he could hope for, from an owl. Each day he kept quiet hoping that if he was quiet enough then his uncle wouldn't hurt him. If he was quiet enough then maybe, just maybe, his aunt would give him some food. He held some hope that is until they were shattered. His uncle continued to beat him. His aunt continued to refuse to bring him food. Harry was alone.
As his stomach growled fiercely and his bruises ached, something just broke in Harry, his hope, his dreams, and his sanity. He couldn't stand one more day in that place and he hoped desperately for Ron or someone to break him out again like his second year at Hogwarts. But no one came. And day by day he sat in the dark and stared at nothing. He could feel himself growing weaker. He could feel himself losing sleep but he couldn't stand the nightmares that awaited him when he closed his eyes. And so he stayed in the dark, lost in himself.
Then one day he found something sharp, he stared at it for what felt like forever. He just wanted the pain to stop. He put the sharp object to his arm and sliced. Blood started to bead on the minor wound and Harry felt release. He felt like he could breathe again and for just a little while, the pain was gone and he didn't feel so lonely anymore. And so every day, Harry made one little cut, enough to keep his demons at bay. That is until they came for him.
Harry was once again at Hogwarts and away from the God awful Dursleys. He was free of that darkness or so he thought. Another year and things went wrong. He was selected to be in a tournament that was pretty much fight to the death. Why couldn't he just have a normal life? And so the darkness came back. When Ron abandoned him and everyone hated him, he couldn't help but feel lonely. He couldn't help but feel pain. And he just wanted the pain to stop.
Harry cried in a remote corner of the castle for what felt like ages. He skipped his classes and just ran until his ribs ached. It led him to somewhere he had never been before and it was remote and empty and so he cried. He cried until no more tears came and his throat ached. He needed something to take away the pain. He needed release from all the darkness inside him. Harry made his way to the Gryffindor dormitory and dug through his trunk till he found it. A single needle, the sharp object he had found back in his room at the Dursleys. He almost smiled in relief, almost. He looked around the dormitory and decided that it wasn't a good place to cut; people could burst in at any moment. He walked again back to the empty corner of the castle.
Harry sat on the ground and stared at the needle. Should he dare do it? Just to feel release? Yes, the pain was too great and he had nothing to lose. He dug the needle into his arm and sliced. Harry felt relief wash through his being in waves as if somehow that one single cut took everything bad away. This was his secret, his dark secret that he dare not tell anyone. If he did, who knew what they would think.
Harry stayed in that remote corner of the castle until his stomach started to ache and he needed food. He went to the Great Hall for dinner and for once he felt slightly content. He could feel the needle in his pocket, poking through his pants and slightly pricking his thigh. The thought and slight pain calmed him. He ignored all the stares and insults thrown his way. They didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.
Hermione came to sit by him and he almost felt happy in her company that is until she saw it. Harry had been reaching for some pudding when his robes shifted down his arm revealing two singular cuts. Hermione stared and Harry didn't notice. Until she took his arm and rolled up his sleeve did she see his scars and his cuts.
"Harry, what is this?" she asked cautiously. Harry frowned and yanked his arm out of her grasp. He stared at his food and didn't answer her. "Harry…are you hurting yourself?" Harry didn't know what to. He could tell her the truth but that would be giving away his secret, his secret he knew that if people knew would change everything. Harry stood abruptly. He made his way out of the Great Hall and back to that remote corner of the castle; hopefully no one would find him there.
And Harry wept in silence. He was angry with himself for being so weak but he couldn't help it. He just wanted the pain to go away. Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey, and Hermione found Harry several hours later, curled into a ball and sleeping on the stone floor. Madam Pomfrey went straight to work, inspecting him. It was only then that they realized how malnourish he was and how the cuts expanded on his arms. They levitated Harry back to the hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey fixed him up.
Harry woke up to the sun shining on his face. He blinked and found Dumbledore sitting at his bedside. He looked grim. Dumbledore noted the panic on Harry's face and put a hand up.
"It's okay Harry, you're safe now," Dumbledore said in a soothing voice. But Harry had a hard time believing him. The darkness was still there, will always be there.
"Make the pain go away," Harry whispered close to tears. Dumbledore frowned. Harry broke into a sob and he threw his arms around Dumbledore, the one person who has felt like family. "Please…make the pain go away." Dumbledore decided then and there that Harry Potter needed help for his health and for his sanity.
. . .
A/N: So that was dark. – MsHologramRibs
