Disclaimer: don't own Naruto.
Author's notes: If you take this story seriously, you're going to have a bad time.
*theme music*
NA-RU-TO! NA-RU-TO!
He'll destroy your village before you know!
NA-RU-TO! NA-RU-TO!
You're just in time to see his show!
NA-RU-TO! NA-RU-TO!
With his Sidekick Aoi and her evil tricks
they'll leave you with a village to fix!
"Mwahahahaha!" Declared the blonde as he kicked open the feeble village gates getting looks of shock and horror."It's Uzumaki Naruto! Run for your lives!" One civilian shouted out while most others screamed and ran around like headless chickens. Naruto casually walked into the village where he was met by a few people quivering in fear.
"He'll take our animals and turn them against us!" one shouted.
"He'll steal all our things and make us buy them from him!" another called.
"He'll build a luxury cruiser and invite everyone to sail around the world before menacingly stopping in the middle of the ocean leaving us stranded there forever!" a crazed man called out, everyone stopped and turned to look at him.
Naruto shrugged his shoulders "Haven't heard that one before." He said looking at the crazed man. The panic was restarted when Naruto proceeded to walk further into the village.
"He's going to destroy the village!" A civilian cried out in fear.
Naruto sighed "Relax, I'm not going to destroy your village…" the civilians perked up at the comment.
"R-Really!" They asked in unison, with hope in their eyes and smiles on their faces.
"I promise! …" Naruto said with a chuckle, then suddenly a small girl with dark blue eyes and dark blue unruly long hair, wearing a miniature version of Naruto's orange and black jumpsuit-except customized for the female population, popped out from behind Naruto's leg.
"Just don't blink" she said in a sing song manner before sticking her tongue out at the crowd of civilians, who now were straining their eye-lids after being tempted to blink. *BLINK*.
"God dammit! Now the village has been destroyed!" one of the civilians huffed while the others let out childish groans of defeat which was an unexpected way to react to the ruining of their village.
"Mwahahahaha!" Naruto laughed which was joined by Aoi.
"Mwahahaha!" She bellowed out, doing a cute impression of Naruto, before looking to a man who recently appeared, he wore a Konoha hitai ate and stood proudly with his hand on his hip, he had raven coloured hair and on his shirt was a fan that signified he was an Uchiha.
"Naruto! I have come to end your villainy!" He said before shaking his head so that his feminine looking shiny long hair followed.
"Look its Sasuke Uchiha and he's come to stop Naruto!" One man shouted before the village erupted in cheers. "Hn." Sasuke 'said' trying to act cool in front of his crowd.
"Sorry Sasuke, no time to waste looking at your girly hair, I have villages to torment!" Naruto said and suddenly out of nowhere a crowd of children appeared all pointing at Sasuke and where laughing hysterically. Sasuke felt a vein appear on his forehead in rage.
"Listen here Naruto! I have come to make sure you never de-"
"You look like a girl!" Shouted Aoi causing all the children to erupt into laughter once more still pointing at the Uchiha.
Sasuke's lips began to quiver and his eyes began to narrow as he looked towards the crowd making fun of him. "T-That's n-not v-very n-nice…" he said with a shaky high pitched voice looking like he was about to cry.
"Awh, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to upset you really…" Aoi said in a soft, care filled voice and Sasuke sniffed and looked about ready to accept the apology.
"SASUKE-CHAN!" She cried out only making the children behind her roll along the floor holding their sides while laughing un-controllably, Sasuke now had tears in his eyes and the damn was about to burst.
"Mwahahahaha! You are no match for me and my band of followers…Sasuke-chan" Naruto declared as Sasuke burst into tears and ran away flailing his arms in the air as if it was an effort to make his escape faster. The villagers looked at the boy running away with sweat drops dropping down their heads.
"That…was our last hope…?" a woman asked sighing. "It's no wonder our village got destroyed."
"Hey! It's not destroyed! I always stick to my promises! It's not destroyed! I mean…you still have the rubble so technically it's still here… it's just a little broken." Naruto announced to the civilians who let out a heavy sigh.
"You're the greatest Naruto-kun! You always stick to your promises!" Aoi announced looking up at her hero.
"Mwahahahaha! That's right Aoi! Now let's go find a new village!" He said before he and Aoi danced merrily over the horizon looking for a new village to torment.
"So…basically what you are trying to tell me… is that one man, and a little girl appeared at our village, kicked open the gates like they were nothing, then destroye-"
"Broken not destroyed, Sir." Said the officer. The leader cleared his throat.
"Broken our village, and then when Sasuke Uchiha appeared to vanquish this villain, he was called 'nasty names' – in the Uchiha's own words, by the male and the little girl and a crowd of children laughed at him which made him cry?" the man asked squeezing the bridge of his nose trying to relieve his anger.
"That's about right sir." Stated the officer.
"…I hate my life…" said the leader.
*theme music* NA-RU-TO! NA-RU-TO!
He'll destroy your village before you know!
NA-RU-TO! NA-RU-TO!
You're just in time to see his show!
NA-RU-TO! NA-RU-TO!
With his Sidekick Aoi and her evil tricks
they'll leave you with a village to fix!
Author's Notes: This was pretty fun to write, I decided to take a quick break from seriousness and though Naruto running around destroying villages in strange ways would be fun to do, and well it was!
Review, Favorite and Follow, Not sure if people would like a follow up!
