It hurts. Oh god. It hurts.
"Just stop resisting, it doesn't have to hurt..."
No. Please no.
I can't breathe...I can't think, I can barely see. This pain, it's too much. But to give in...to give in is to endure so much worse. I can't do that to them, they are counting on me, I just can't. My trembling hands clutched at my hair with such force my eyes watered, pressed into the corner with nothing but the sounds of my pathetic whimpering and my thundering heart filling the otherwise torturous silence.
"You are alone..."
No I'm not. I'm not!
"You're weak..."
I won't give in, I will not give in.
"But they want me...you heard them calling my name..."
That's because they don't know, they don't know what they are asking. To them it's just a character, a bit of fun. Who am I to let them think otherwise? They won't know, they shouldn't know. Please, please just leave me alone.
"They created me...why deny them?" Each word spoken sounded so wrong, so foreign as they spilled out of my own mouth. A broken distortion of a crackled voice that sounded so like my own, but so different. "You can make the pain stop Sean, just let go..."
I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared, because there is that small part that does just want to give in. To stop the pain, to stop the feeling of razor sharp talons and hellfire trying to burst through my own skull. But I don't want to disappear. Somewhere nearby a different noise reached my ears, my phone must have fallen out of my pocket while I just writhed here in the corner. My eyes could barely focus on the name flashing up on the screen, my vision clouded with tears and tousled green hair as I read 'Mark'.
"I can't abandon them...I can't abandon him, he's my best friend...I can't-" I felt my voice choke in my throat, I had to fight. But the pain, oh god the pain.
"Wrong choice Sean...they will leave you, crawling in the dark. You will see..."
And just like that, he was gone. I lay sprawled out on the floor, body shaking with sobs, pulling up my knees to just curl up as tightly as I could. My head throbbed, my body aching as though I had just ran for miles...I was so fucking scared. And for a while I forgot that the phone was still there right next to me, suddenly buzzing to life once more as I watched the screen flash once again. With a heaving breath, forcing myself to move, I scooped the phone off of the floor and begrudgingly sat up. For the next few moments, I had to be Jack...I want him to think I'm okay, to not worry. So with one last breath to steady my heaving chest, I picked up the call.
"Hey Mark! No...no I'm fine, busy as usual..."
I will take this burden alone, they can't know. I won't speak his name, because he is not me.
