Eve of a New Era

By: Maureen

Summary: Eve poetry. Whee. I'm terrible at poetry. Just… Accept it.

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It's like this everyday now.

I wake up, but I'm not sure I want to ever again.

It didn't used to be like this.

I used to wake up and look forward to the day.

To what it held for me.

Now it makes me sick.

I used to know what I was.

Who I was.

And I liked it.

I don't know what changed in me.

Whether something was added or taken away.

Or whether it was there all along.

But everything is so different now.

I don't know who I am anymore, only who I was.

All that I've done...

It makes me want to die.

But I'm still here.

Not because I'm told to,

But because I know that that's the easy way out.

If I leave this world,

Without helping those I hurt,

Without ever trying to,

Then I'm even worse than I was.

Because now,

I hurt for those people.

I know what I've done

And I know that nothing in the world could ever make it better.

And I know that people like who I was are still out there.

And if I ignore that now,

When I know that I could change something,

Reach someone,

Help someone,

Then I deserve torment,

Worse than what I have now.

Even if it's just one life that I touch,

Then I know I'll have done some good.

So I wake up.

And I live again.

~ FIN ~