Lost

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, or its characters

A/N: My mom said that I couldn't write well. -.- She said that I have not yet experienced 'Life'. Or whatever that concept is. So, to prove her wrong and make myself feel better, I wrote a story. Angst, simply because I'm not in a fluffy mood to write fluffy stuff. Hope this makes sense, seeing as of that I wrote this in a mad rush. Any grammar mistakes will be fixed later, when I notice them. ;c

Enjoy.


Romano watched Spain and some woman talk and laugh disdainfully. Feelings were mixed in Romano's mind, they blurred together, and all he could do about was tare his eyes from the pair and looked over the menu again. For once, Romano had agreed to go out for a bite to eat with Spain. Now, Spain was ignoring him for some woman.

How fucking typical. Like Romano was actually hoping for some attention from Spain and a scowl twitched its way upon Romano's lips. Finally, at last, Spain turned toward Romano and the woman finally noticed the lonely Italian who was gripping the menu with a somewhat tight grip. She smiled. Romano smiled back.

She had a quiet voice. Soft, almost gentle, a tone that could make Romano weak at the knees. "Hello, sir." She had an accent. "And what would you want to drink?" Romano took a moment to register what she had said, blinking slightly.

"…Oh." Romano's eyes flickered back to the menu, before returning to the waitress. "…Uh…tea?" His words felt clumsy, and stupid. It made Romano inwardly cringe, but the woman smiled prettily. She wrote it down on the small notepad and walked away with a slight chuckle.

Finally tearing himself away, Romano found Spain staring after the same woman. Disgust filled Romano's being, but he said nothing. Instead, he found himself going over the menu once again. He could see the words, the lettering, but he could not put them together to make sense. "…Should I do it?" Spain's voice cut in. Romano glanced up, surprised. "I want to ask her out!"

Romano found himself staring at Spain, who wasn't even looking at him; still in the direction of the pretty waitress. He couldn't find the words to say. Should he support Spain, his former caretaker? Being Italian, he felt the need to help any love situation. Still, something inside him told him to be angry, told him to spit in Spain's face, told him to cry and break down. Spain glanced at Romano for a moment.

"Something wrong?" Again. "Eh, Roma? Something wrong?" Worry and concern stained Spain's voice. It dripped off his words. Romano snapped out of it quickly, and he glanced at the floor for a second and looking back up at Spain. In return, Spain stared at Romano.

Something wrong? Yeah. "No. Nothing is wrong, bastard." Romano answered. He didn't even know why he decided to say the words, but it flowed from his mouth. "I think…why would anyone date a pathetic bastard like you?" Spain grinned, even though it was a bit less dim than normal. Spain looked dejected.

"Oh…if you say it like that…" Regret nipped at Romano's mind, and he instantly backtracked.

"But…" Spain perked up. Romano went on. "…if you think you have a chance; do it. Nothing's stopping you, dammit."The Spaniard looked happy, oh so happy it made Romano look away. Sad, distress, and a bit of a empty feeling made themselves known to Romano.

"Muchas gracias, Roma~" Spain laughed. "I'll ask her out when I pay for the bill!" Damn right you better pay for that bill. Romano nodded absently, and the waitress bought drinks from the back of the café to their table before he could add anything.

Romano watched how Spain lit up and how Spain added that almost animal-like purr to his voice when talking to that waitress. Sipping his drink, he allowed his eyes to trail to outside, past the window. People, various people, walked past the café. Feeling the urge to run away, Romano imagined himself running away, melting into the crowd like hot butter, slipping through the cracks.

He shouldn't feel bothered by the fact that Spain wanted to ask someone out. That was the problem, he guessed. Romano felt bothered by it, and he didn't even know why. It was something that unnerved the Italian way too much. Maybe he should just ignore it. But ignoring something that was poking at his heart like hot needles was not an option.

Jerked from his thoughts, Romano glanced suddenly at Spain and the waitress when both of them laughed. Looking away again, Romano felt like he was losing something importing. Like he was watching something slips through his fingers like sand. And he was doing nothing about it. What can he do? Nothing and that was Romano was planning to do anyways.

"-ir? Sir?" The pretty waitress touched Romano's shoulder. Romano smiled, looking at the woman. "And what do you want to eat?" Even though Romano looked over the menu a few times, he had forgotten what they had to offer.

"…Nothing, but do you guys have tomatoes?" The woman nodded, a strange look coming over her face. Romano chuckled nervously. "Yeah, can I have a few of those? Grazie." With a confused look, the woman wrote it down and left.

Spain stared dreamily after her. Romano returned to staring out the window. Yes, he defiantly felt like he was losing something. Throbbing arrived in Romano's skull, forcing him to lay his head down on his arms, his upper body lying parallel with the empty table before him.

"Here you go, sir." The woman returned, handing a bread basket filled with sliced tomatoes. Romano straightened up and smiled thankfully at her, nibbling on one. Spain instantly started up another conversation, and Romano couldn't even thank the woman properly.

Romano stared at the pair, who was laughing about something silly again. The tomato in his mouth suddenly tasted bitter, and with late realization, Romano realized he what he felt like he was losing. Fuck, he felt like he was losing Spain. Panic and distress increased in Romano's veins, his eyes instantly flickering away from the pair.

As much as Romano hated to admit it, he felt sad and angry with Spain for wanting to date a pretty woman. He also had to admit that he was also a bit scared of losing Spain, and Romano swallowed the bitter tomato dryly. Tears swelled at Romano's eyes, but he instantly blinked them back.

Romano didn't know what to do. Grabbing another slice of tomato, Romano nibbled it quickly. Even though it tasted bitter, he needed something to distract himself from the flirting pair a few meters away from him.

"-can I get a kiss on the cheek?" Spain joked. The woman laughed. Romano stared at the pair. The pretty waitress relented, and pressed her lips onto Spain's cheek, who was grinning. Romano glanced away; a bitter feeling and a sad realization came onto him again.

Biting into the tomato, some tomato juice running down his fingers, Romano narrowed his eyes outside again. Ignoring the sticky liquid that stained his fingers like blood, Romano grabbed another tomato slice. Taking another bitter bite, he listened as Spain and the pretty woman laughed again.
He paid attention to the person he loved liking someone else.
He tried not to watch the sad event of him losing his Spain.
But that is silly:

How can he lose something he never had?


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-BMTM