Recently I've been obsessed with M*A*S*H so I started working on a story to practice some dialogue and I'm liking it so far. It's set after Henry died, Potter arrives, but before Frank leaves. I really hate Frank, but it's more fun to abuse him then it is Winchester.

Since this is for practice, if you see an error let me know, please. I'll try and finish the story, but I can't promise constant updates.

[I do not own the copyrights to M*A*S*H and this fanfiction is made for pure enjoyment and not for profit]


"Cap'n Pierce? Hey, Hawkeye, you awake?"

"No, I'm just in a reoccurring nightmare; what time is it?" Hawkeye Peirce fumbled around in the dark for his clock. "Damn army issue piece of crap, it says it's only three in the morning, but you wouldn't be dumb enough to wake me up at that godforsaken hour, would you Radar?"

"S-sorry sir," the young man mumbled. "I just wanted to say good-bye. They're reassigning me to another unit closer to the front and I have to leave now."

In a tired haze Hawkeye dragged himself up so he was face to face with Radar, which wasn't far to go considering how short the corporal was. Picking up the nearest magazine he chucked it through the darkness to the other side of the swamp. This was met with a satisfying thwap as it struck BJ in the head and a muffled shout from the other captain. A few whispered yells between the two of them later and both captains were sitting on Hawkeye's bunk while the corporal stood before them fidgeting with something wrapped in his jacket.

"Since I'm gonna be so close to the front I thought it might be safer to leave this with you sirs," he pulled his teddy bear from his jacket and handed it over. "And Klinger'll just muss it up if I leave my trumpet out so I thought maybe you could watch it too?"

"Radar, I don't think I've ever seen you sleep without this. You sure it's a good idea to leave it here?" Hawkeye asked as he rubbed the bear's ear between his fingers.

"Yea, I mean… I don't want to think what would happen if there was a shelling and something happened to the little guy. Besides, I'm more worried about my poor animals. Klinger and Coronal Potter are supposed to watch them for me, but…"

"We'll keep an eye on them too, don't worry," BJ promised.

"Thanks sirs, for everything," Radar smiled.

Hawkeye stood up and wrapped the Corporal in a tight hug. After he let go, BJ hugged him as well and the two saw him off. Throughout the whole conversation they figured Frank was asleep, but the major had lain awake and spied on them. While the captains waved to Radar from the doorway, Frank scribbled down notes to squeal to the coronal about in the morning; such as allowing enlisted men free roam of his tent.

The next morning Radar's departure became public. The cooking staff was the saddest to see him go, mostly because he ate all the food no one else wanted, and then some. By mid day things were getting busy. No one knew when the next helicopter would arrive, the O.R. was a madhouse, and Klinger was so stressed that he accidently ripped his favorite dress and broken a shoe. More than 72 hours later and the flow of wounded had stemmed off and everyone could start to relax. While BJ finished up in surgery, Hawkeye drifted into the mess tent.

"Are we sure we sewed those guys up with everything inside? Because this… whatever it is, looks suspiciously like a kidney I worked on yesterday," Hawkeye complained as he pushed his "meat surprise" around his plate.

"Son, just don't look at it and it'll go down a lot easier," Coronal Potter said.

"Captain Pierce is right, I've seen this before, and I thought I sent it out of here inside of a person," Margret said.

"Ow!" Frank exclaimed and grabbed his jaw. "There was a bullet in mine!"

"That's it; if I eat here or not I'll die of starvation!" Hawkeye said and got up to dump his tray.

Just then BJ walked in, "I hope I didn't miss anything to exciting."

"Naw, you're fine. We just determined that the liver here's actually one of the ones you fixed up yesterday."

"Delightful," BJ said as he got a tray. "I'll take the American soldier on rye please."

That was the tone for the rest of the week; the fun in making jokes had gone and pranks were harder to pull without Radar's devoted help. At the end of the week the only people left in high spirits were Frank and Margret, but even they were slightly dulled without BJ and Hawkeye to get in trouble. The end of the second week brought news no one wanted; it came in the midst of a wave of wounded, Klinger had escaped nurse duty to work on the daily report when he received a call.

"Coronal Potter! Coronal Potter, sir!" Klinger cried as he came scrambling through the crowded O.R.

"Klinger, can this wait? I'm knee deep in blood right now."

"Sorry sir, but I've got important news from the front. Radar's run off!"

"The little rat went AWOL?" Frank asked. "I knew he was a deserter from the start."

"Frank, you shut your mouth or you'll be a deserter when I throw you at the Chinese," Hawkeye threatened. "Besides, Radar wouldn't just up 'n run."

"Well that's what his commanding officer said, that he ran off in the middle of the night last night and they ain't seen him since! Gosh, the poor kid could be anywhere by now. What if he steps on a landmine? Or the North Koreans could get him or he-"

"Klinger, you're about to get the royal boot if you don't put a sock in it," Potter threatened. "Now you get back out there and help with the patients; the sooner we're done in here the sooner we can help look for O'Reilly."

"Yes sir."

"I can't imagine Radar running off without a reason; something must have happened, something bad," Hawkeye thought out loud.

"Later, Hawkeye, later; right now you've got thirty adoring fans lined up to see you," BJ said.

Twelve hours later and Hawkeye, BJ, Frank, Margret, Father Mulcahy, and Klinger had assembled in Coronal Potter's office. The two majors were standing at attention while everyone else sat comfortably. Potter himself was hunched over his desk reading a report. Hawkeye had found a rubber band on his way in and was flicking little pieces of paper at Frank, laughing with BJ every time he scored a headshot.

"Now, according to this… Pierce! Would you knock it off?" Potter snapped.

"Sorry teacher," Hawkeye joked.

"As I was saying; according to this, Radar vamoosed last night and ain't been back yet, so his commanding officer up there's decreed him AWOL and went as far as to tack a bounty to his head. Now if we can find him before the MPs do, then we have a chance to straighten this all out. Frank and I will stay here incase wounded show up, I'll put a call in to Freedman to see if we can get some extra hands, and I need the rest of you to go searching for Radar."

"But sir! You can't be serious," Frank whined. "Why not let the MPs catch the un-American and call it at that? Are you really willing to risk sacrificing the lives of any soldiers that show up because we're short two doctors, our priest, and head nurse?"

"Burns, you're really starting to push my buttons the wrong way, and if it got bad enough I may have to turn around and not hear when Hawkeye and BJ beat you to death with your own spine," Potter said.

"Besides, we've always gotten by down one guy since you started working here," BJ said humorlessly.

"I may have to take you up on that offer Coronal," Hawkeye said.

"Though I am impartial to violence, I must say that your words were uncalled for. Radar is a good friend and a good person," Father Mulcahy said.

"Then I trust you have no objections to going with them to search for him, right Father?"

"I would go in a heartbeat," the priest responded.

"Me too; truth be told, I miss the kid," Klinger said.

To the side, Margret and Frank had been having a whispered argument before the nurse spoke up, "I'll go too Coronal."

"Margret, I'm shocked," Hawkeye said. "Let me guess, you're going to turn him in for the reward?"

"Actually, no, doctor. I wish to go because Corporal O'Reilly is an important member in keeping this unit operational. Without him here there have been some serious shortcomings in the way of management."

"Then it's settled; you five get a good rest and head out at 0800 hours tomorrow. Take a jeep and supplies; and Klinger, don't forget your rifle."

"I won't sir!" Klinger saluted. "I'll even wear a uniform, sir."