Dean and Sam had just finished a job, they had expected something bigger but it turned out that it was just a demon possessing the person. They weren't able to save them. again. They had to kill the demon with the person. The engine of Dean's baby purrs as Dean rushes down the street to the motel they were currently staying at. Dean can feel the numbness that possesses his body after a hunt, he instantly wants to drown the feeling away with alcohol. He glances over to Sam, who's expression is almost blank, Dean knows he doesn't care that they just killed a person back there, he's not feeling anything because his soul is gone, the person Dean is with it's not Sam even Soulless Sam knew that . Sam catches Dean staring at him openly.
"you need something?" The soulless man implies.
"Nope." Dean says fast after the question is asked. They drive in silence for the rest of the drive which suddenly seems to be lasting longer than he thought it was, Dean can't help but to think how much his life friggin sucks. He wants so badly to see Lisa and her son Ben again, but that couldn't happen. Not after everything, Lisa wouldn't forgive him for the incident with Ben, and Dean has given up on trying to talk to her. The temptation to ditch Sam and go somewhere else and live life as if none of this happened is too strong, but Dean has to take care of Sammy because he's family.
Finally they reach the motel and Dean jumps out of the car "Thank god." he mutters under his breath, pulls out his keys and goes into the room. He instantly goes to the fridge and pulls out a beer and begins to drink it, feeling it burn down his throat. Anything was better than what he had been feeling in the car,the feeling of being dead inside. Sam comes through the door bending his head down a little at the door way because of his Sasquatch body. He arch's an eyebrow at Dean, and Dean just holds his glass up to him and grimaces.
"Want one?" Sam nods his head and Dean tosses him one. They drink in silence for a moment until Dean decides that its not strong enough and goes for the stronger stuff. He is seeing doubles when he swaggers into his bed. Sam goes to his and lays down in it, of course he won't sleep, he doesn't sleep.
Dean dreams of hell that night. screams, fires, the laughter as he pulls the souls apart, tearing, ripping, and then a light. A light so bright he has to shield his eyes, the demons follow his actions. And then a hot searing pain on his shoulder, and then there's blue. such a bright blue he's almost overwhelmed, he hasn't seem something so beautiful in so long.
Dean wakes up drenched in sweat and he's shivering. Sams sitting across the room with his laptop watching Dean with expressionless eyes. Dean rushes up and goes to the bathroom, closes the door, and starts up the shower. He's in the shower for awhile his eyes completely avoiding the mirror. He lets the water run a little too hot burning his skin. He cleans off the dirt on the cuts he got last night. And then just stands there in the shower with his eyes closed, he doesn't want to go back out to Sam. Everything about this was wrong. Sammy had no soul, they were working with a god damn demon, but when weren't the two boys in some deep shit. At last he shuts off the water and steps out of the shower. The air instantly feels cooler as his feet touch the tile floors after having the water on full heat, feeling almost refreshing.
Dean wraps a towel around his wait and then looks in the mirror, he can barely recognize himself, his green eyes seem to be slowly fading they look almost dead, his face sinks inward with huge dark bags around his eyes. His reflection almost reflects how is dead inside and full of self loathing. He gets ready not really excited for the day ahead of him that will be filled with driving in his baby with Sam out there.
He steps outside and hears Sam converting with someone. When he comes around from the corner he is surprised to see Castiel there, his angel, no, the angel. Flashes from his dream last night come into his mind.
"Dean," Castiel says in his deep voice that Dean never really thought fit him.
Dean at the fridge grabs a beer and raises it in the angels direction, takes a swig of it and then looks away from the angels staring at him that odd way he always does.
"so you actually got him to come?" Dean says after clearing his throat. Annoyance flashes through Cas's eyes and then he tilts his head, "Of course I am came Dean."
"Right that's why you only come when its only has something to involve you."
"Dean, i have things that i need to do in heaven-"
"Yeah, Yeah big war stuff between Raphael, right." Dean cuts him off knowing what a dick he's being. Instead of trying to be nice after it he just takes in another swig of beer and swallow's it slowly feeling it burning down his throat. There's silence, and a thick tension comes over the room.
"Right, why did you call Casanova down here anyway Sam?"
"I thought he could help us."
"With what?"
"Finding a way to get his soul back without using Crowley or demon help." Cas answers for him.
"And, uh, what made you change your mind about using Crowley?" Dean questioned.
"Just thought i should keep my options open." Sam says. Dean notes how little emotion there even was in his brothers voice. Does he even care at all that they're trying to get it back? A pang hits Deans stomach at the thought and then downs the rest of his beer down to get rid of the feeling, he doesn't care he's going to get Sammy's soul back whether this cold, soulless version of him wanted it or not. Cas is giving him a worried look. Oh boy.
"Dean i need to talk to you alone." The angel says quietly to Dean his beautiful blue eyes pouring into Deans.
"Of course." Dean grabs another beer and walks out the motel room with the angel. Dean had never really noticed how beautiful, and graceful Cas walked. He was watching him walk until the two of them were out the door and Cas whipped around to Dean.
"Close the door." His voice sounding rough. Great another serious talk. Dean closes the door so that they are alone. When he looks back at Cas, his face is just a few inches away. Causing his heart to beat fast. He only hopes that Cas can't hear his heart right now cause its going sky rocket.
"I told you what could happen if he gets his soul back Dean." Cas says with his cocked to the side. How the hell is it that he can look adorable when he's trying to look angry and tough? Okay Pocahontas stop with the princess shit Dean thinks to himself ceasing any thoughts that are about how Cas looks adorable.
"I know, but he can't just go on being soulless Cas, that's my brother."
"Yes he can Dean." Dean doesn't say anything, he doesn't want to hear this bullshit. So he opens his beer. Cas's expression remains the same, a look that won't give away anything just cold and hard.
"So how are things going on in heaven?" Dean asks trying to get off the topic they are on, the one he dreads so friggin much. Cas steps back away from Dean and turns his back to him, He hears a small sigh come from the angel. A small whisper comes from the angel, barely audible, "It's so hard Dean." Deans stomach cringes and he goes up and puts and on the back of Cas's shoulder. Cas stiffens at the touch but relax's under it after a moment. And the angel sighs once more as he closes his eyes.
"I'm sorry," Dean whispers. Cas's head whips up, Dean never apologized.
"What?" The angel asks the hunter shocked.
"Nothing..." Dean says blushing. Cas turns to the hunter.
"Are you okay Dean?"
"What do you mean?"
"You never apologize, instead you act like you don't care at all, to make yourself seem like a ass and bring others down along with yourself" Cas says all seriousness in his voice.
"Wh- Wha- I DO NOT!"
"That's what Sam told me before his soul was taken away."
"That- i'm gonna seriously have a talk with him when he gets his soul back..." Dean mutters.
"Are you okay?" Cas says doing his adorable head tilt, that also makes Dean slightly uncomfortable.
"What's it to you."
" Dean i raised you from hell."
"Right." And then silence,Dean looks into Cas's blue eyes and he feels calm and almost like he's going to be okay, and then everything seems to not matter anymore and Dean finds himself spilling, and wants to punch himself in the gut a million times for being such a pussy.
" No Cas i'm not okay. I need my brother and that thing... He's not Sammy, he's a heartless dick. I lost my family... And... I just feel dead inside, I can barely look into the mirror without wanting to punch it." Dean takes in a deep breath after his confession.
"Dean..." Cas comes really close to Dean, so close Dean is slightly uncomfortable but yet it puts him at ease. Dean looks into the pools of blue that are the angels eyes and Cas stares back just as he always does.
"I'll see what I can do." Cas slowly trails the back of him palm down Deans face making Dean shiver and then vanishes.
The next day Sam and Dean are on the road and Dean's blasting his babies speakers with Led Zeppelin singing along and bobbing his head to the beat while Sam just sits there looking slightly annoyed.
"Think you can turn that down a bit?" In response to Sams question Dean turns it up louder and starts sing loader. Dean gets a bitch face, that is one thing this version of Sam has in common with his brother, the bitch face. Dean chuckled and then smirked to himself.
They get to Bobby's house in couple of days and find Bobby buried in research, looks like they got themselves a case. Dean always appreciated the more simple cases, it makes him feel like he's back in the old days when it was just him and Sammy, living on the road killing demons, and things were almost okay. Look at things now.
A few days go by and they get the case done with and Dean feels even worse with this one than the last one. Sam had killed a possessed child and that's not what had scared Dean, it was that they had options, they had it trapped in a demons trap, and Sam just killed the little girl with absolutely no hesitation, and the cold in his eyes, no matter how hard he tried Dean could not get the cold and hard expression Sam had on when he had done it. No remorse or anything, and it terrified Dean, he wants his little dork of a brother back.
Sam scared the shit out of Dean now even Samuel had admitted he was scared of his little brother. Dean had been moping he was in a slump, he didn't know what to do anymore, he was running out of options and even if Sam did get his soul back it could kill him or turn him insane like Cas had told him. But he couldn't just let Sam go on like this. Deans phone starts to go off, its Lisa. He declines it. He just can't talk to her. He sure as hell wants to but he can't bring himself to answer. He decides he can't stay here, he should but he needs to be alone. He tells Sam and Dean that he'll be back by tomorrow and that's he gonna take the night off.
He speeds off in the impala going to the nearest bar. This is what he needs, a night off with some random hot chick. He goes to the Bar and orders a shot, he downs it and requests another one. The bar tender smiles at him, Dean looks at her, she's cute, not one of Dean's typical sexy babes he goes with but he would give her a shot. She's short maybe around 5'3 and most of her height if from her legs which are long and slender. She has short red curly hair that curls in right under her chin, her chin is thin and she has some wicked check bones and has very nice lips, and she has a cute button nose, you can tell her make up is nicely done and well cared for, She wears a fitting tank top that shows off her rack nicely, and a pair of fitted jeans showing off the little curves she has, her eyes were definitely her best feature though, their a pleasant deep brown that are comforting to look at. But they don't really compare to Cas's blue ones... and for the most part Dean's attracted so Dean winks at her and she does an adorable giggle.
"What's your name sweetheart?"
"Cassidy," she giggles, "And you?" Dean's thoughts instantly go to Cas when he hears what her name is, what the fuck man stop thinking about the dude.
"Dean," he smirks and winks at her yet again which makes her go tomato red. He's not really interested in her anymore though or at least not enough to take her somewhere else someone else has now filled his mind. He takes another shot and then takes his leave, a few girls smiling at him as he goes to the door, he could easily get one of them but some how he just isn't in the mood now.
He finds a motel close by and gets a room. He goes inside and instantly plops onto the bed. He closes his eyes and rubs his temple, since when did he need to be away from his family? He stays there a good half hour. Its dark when he opens his eyes, he turns on a lamp by the bed, sitting up he rests his head against the wall and starts to say a silent prayer.
"Cas... It's not important, not at all important but... please come down if you can, i need to talk to you..." Dean sits there. He knows the angel won't come, because as Dean said its not important. He's not important.
"Dean..." A gravely voice says. Dean's head flips to his left and see's his angel staring down at him, his expression blank. Dean gets off the bed jumping to his feet. Now that Cas is actually here he's in a stump of what to say to the guy, why exactly did he need him here?
"Dean what's happening? Did something go wrong with Sam?" Cas says worried noticing Sam not being there.
"No... I just...Have you found anything out about Sams soul?" Cas's expression turns hard again and turns away from Dean.
"No I have not." The cold in Cas's voice scares Dean.
"Did you even try?" Deans asks.
"No."
"Well why the hell not?!" Dean is starting to get pissed.
"I have told you what would happen if he gets it back Dean."
"I don't care." Dean snarls at the angel extremely pissed now.
"Dean,even if i could have tried to find a way between what is happening in heaven right now, I wouldn't look." A growl escapes from the hunter when the angel says that tipping his anger over the edge.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?" Dean screams his blood feels like its boiling with anger, he looks into Castiel's eyes looking for some sign of emotion anything, anger, annoyance, sadness, but instead he is staring into eyes that tell him nothing. He wants to see something, he can't take nothing anymore, the nothing he feels inside of him all the time, the nothing inside of his brother, the nothing that he is.
"You are angry with me." Castiel remarks lifting his chin a bit.
"No fucking duh, Sherlock." Dean says venomously.
"I don't understand Dean, my name is not Sherlock." Cas says while tilting his head, expressions still emotionless.
"God Cas I know. It was a reference."
"Your references are strange."
"I don't care. If you aren't going to help me then why are you here? Why do you come at all when I pray to you? I mean obviously I am nothing to you." Still no emotion comes from Cas.
"I raised you from hell."
"Yeah so I've heard. You can't just keep on playing that card Cas." Damn I sound just like a 14 year old girl with boy issues Dean thinks to himself.
"Card?"
"If i find a way to get his soul back, will you help me if i need it?" Cas pauses, Dean realizes how desperate he sounds and hopes it will play a toll on the angel.
"... No. I will not help you destroy your brother." A pang goes off in his stomach of betrayal and Dean looses it, he takes the lamp and smashes it onto the ground sending shattered glass over the floor. It didn't even phase Cas. Fueled with anger Dean goes to Cas and try's to punch Cas in the nose, but Cas just catch's Deans hand with his extreme strength. Damn. He wants to see something in the angels dead eyes and the angel is too strong for him to punch shock into them. A tear falls down from Deans right eye, he turns away embarrassed god damn what is wrong with him tonight.
"I should go Dean." Dean whips back around. Hell no was Cas getting out of this.
"NO!" Dean grabs the collar of the angels shirt and shoves him hard against the wall, Dean knows Cas is letting him do this because he knows Cas could easily push him away with angel mojo and could just as easily disappear, but he still has no emotion. And that's when Dean knows that he is completely insane now because what he does even shocks him. He looked at the angels lips and he knew that they were they key to get the angel to show emotion, so he kisses them, smashing his lips into the other mans and... He likes it and try's to deepen the kiss.
Cas shoves Dean away and gasps, his face full of shock and surprise and something else... Hope and lust maybe? Dean wants more from the angel so he goes back to the angel and collides with his lips again, it felt so right, so perfect Dean can barely contain himself. He slowly outlines Cas's lips with his tongue wanting the angel to open and kiss him back. He feels the angel shiver, god Dean needed this so bad, he feels more whole than he has in a long time. How long has he been hiding his feelings for Cas from himself? It feels like forever.
"Dean, please don-" Dean puts a finger over his angels mouth silencing him. He looks into the angels beautiful blue eyes that are shinning and sparkling like deep blue pools of water, that makes the hunter thirsty for this angel and can't stop staring at those eyes that have such an effect on him, they are no longer emotionless, they are full of want and he knows that he hasn't been the only one repressing his feelings. Dean starts to trace the outline of Cas's face slowly. Cas's eyes watching his every move.
"Tell me you don't want me, don't want this, and i'll stop." Dean whispers with a deep voice. Cas opens his mouth and for a moment Dean's stomach drops but then Cas closes his mouth and gulps and stares into the hunters emerald eyes. Dean smiles and a small laugh escapes, Cas wants him. Deans fingers stop tracing when they reach the angels slightly chapped lips and runs his finger over the bottom of his lips, and the angel closes his eyes. "That's what I thought." Holy shit this was happening Dean was going to do it with an angel of the lord, who is in a man's vessel no less, and for some reason that didn't phase him at all he could think about was getting his hands on this beautiful person in front of him.
Dean bends his neck down and kisses Cas lightly and gently, taking in the flavor and smell of him wanting to remember this, a small whimper comes from Cas that makes Dean smile against against the angels mouth. Kissing a man is different from kissing a girl, much different actually, but for Dean it's a good different, a wonderful different, but Deans sure it wouldn't be as special if it wasn't from his angel. When their lips part from the lingering kiss Dean puts his forehead against Cas's and strokes his hands down the angels back and arms, teasing him a little. A shiver comes from the angel a couple times but soon he becomes impatient. And this time its the angel attacking the hunters lips.
Dean pushes Cas harder into the wall as their kisses become more and more passionate, Cas shrugs off his trench coat and then wraps his arms around Dean's neck pulling him closer to him hard as if Dean could be as close as possible and it still wouldn't be enough. Cas's tongue enters Deans mouth making Dean groan and a battle with tongues start. Dean runs his hands through Cas's silky hair not able to get enough of it, tugging and pulling on it to bring the angels body against his. Cas stops for a moment to breathe, and so Dean starts to kiss his way down the angels neck slowly, stopping about half way and sucks causing Castiel to give out a whine. Cas digs his finger nails into Deans back and bucks his hips forward into Deans already rock hard erection.
A moan escapes from the hunters mouth and begins to follow the angels lead grinding into Cas's groin. Cas whispers Dean's name against Deans neck, feeling the hot breathe on his skin Dean takes a nip at the angels ear, kissing the angels beautiful jaw and neck and then back onto the angels delectable lips.
Dean stops and runs his hands up to Cas's blue tie and slowly unties it and tucks it into the back of his pocket winking at Cas, who's eyes are wide open and dilated with lust.
"What are you going to do with that?" The angel says with a gruff voice. Dean brings his nose against Cas's and simply says,
"Spoilers." Then the hunter grabs the top of the angels button up shirt and rips it off sending buttons everywhere in the room.
Castiel gasps, "Dean!" Dean chuckles and examines Cas, his slender and lean body is nicely toned Dean approves, very much, the things he was going to do with this body. Dean loops his fingers through Cas's belt loops and pulls him close taking in the scent of the angels body and plants a kiss on his lips and then begins to work his way down the angles neck to a beautiful collar bone that's sticking out. Dean slowly traces Castiel's collar bone with his tongue getting Cas to breathe out heavily and then does the same to the other one and then stops on the end and starts sucking on it.
"Dean..." Cas moans as he runs his hands through Dean's short hair and then grips it tightly. Dean snakes his way back up to Cas's face dragging his tongue and goes back to kissing his lover. Dean can't really hold back anymore to make this last, time to go commando. Cas is panting now and Dean presses a hand against Cas's firm cock, releasing a hiss from the angel and then Cas yells Deans name he presses his hand harder onto it. It feels so right, Dean has never wanted to give someone so much pleasure before, he wants Cas to have to most amazing night since he's pretty sure this is the angels first time with this and Dean was going to make it something to remember, because seeing this Cas wanting pleasure, wanting him its one of the most amazing things he has seen and he will not disappoint. Dean rubs his hands against Cas's chest feeling his tight biceps and rolls one of his nipples in his mouth making the angel moan loudly.
Cas wraps his leg around the hunter and rolls his hips in and out grabbing the hunters taught ass, Dean grips the angels hips hard and goes to work grinding into Cas with his face berried into Cas's chest both of them moaning loudly. Cas bucks extra hard into Dean making Dean throw his head back as he let out "JESUS" Cas stops for a moment and looks into Deans eyes.
"I prefer Castiel Dean." It takes a moment for the hunter to process the joke then he chuckles.
"I don't know I think Sherlock worked better for you." Dean chuckles to him.
"Dean." Cas says the hunters name in such a tone that drove Dean insane, too much talking.
"Yeah, Castiel it is." Dean says ready for the pause to be over. He takes the angels hand and leads him to the bed and lays him on it so that Cas is laying and Dean is straddling his legs. Cas pupils are blown so that his eyes almost seem black with a ring of blue around them. Cas pulls Dean down into his clutches so that he can kiss him passionately before Dean starts to make his way down slowly trailing his tongue with him.
"There is too much cloths in this equation," Cas breathes out and the both of their cloths are gone. Dean looks up a moment.
"Awesome." Dean whispers and then continues on with making his way down stopping occasionally to suck or kiss something, and to dip his tongue into the angels belly button which made Cas giggle making Dean smile to himself.
When Dean makes his way to Cas's hip bones that are sticking out sharply and begins sucking on them, them being to much for the hunter to ignore. Cas moans loudly and whispers Deans name. Dean begins to rub Cas's thighs.
"Dean..." Cas begins to wine. Dean slowly kisses each of Cas's toned thighs, teasing the angel.
"Dean, please." The angel begs, plead full in his voice. How could Dean say no to his pleading angel? And while teasing Cas A LOT of fun Cas was loosing his mind. Dean takes his and runs it down the shaft and and then licks the top of the stone hard erection. Cas gasps, Cas is breathing more heavily. He pleads with Dean again to keep going and so Dean goes and takes his whole mouth over it, Cas cries out and Dean continues sucking, pulling it in and out of his mouth, Cas's hips rise off from the bed and he cries out Deans name several times and groaning so loud that the people in the other room could probably hear them, but that was not even one of Deans worries. Dean rakes down Cas's shaft with his teeth and Cas cries out again.
"Dean... I..." Cas stutters with his words and then the angels comes into Deans mouth as Dean was licking upwards. At first Dean doesn't really know what to do he has never had sex with a guy before so he just swallows the seed. Dean crawls up after Cas having the orgasm to where Cas is laying breathing heavily and curls up to him so his nose is touching his and links their feet together. And they stay there for a few moments just staring at each other.
"Dean?"
"Yeah Cas?"
"I love you." The hunter smiles because he is genuinely happy right now.
"I love you too Cas, I have for awhile, i guess i just didn't really know it yet, but i do now." The look Cas gets when Dean says that is priceless, its the look a five year old would get after receiving a puppy for Christmas. Dean plants a firm kiss onto Cas's lips and draws back for a moment and takes all of this in, this happiness that he's feeling, Cas being in love with him, maybe things aren't so bad. And then Cas brings him back to his lips for a passionate kiss things starting to get heated again.
"Cas, you sure you want me to do this? Cause i don't wanna hurt you man." Dean says, Castiel is bound with the blue tie that he always wears to the bed post so his back is faced to Dean on his knee's.
"Yes Dean I am sure quite. And I do not think it is me that you should be worried about." Just hearing Cas talking slightly dirty sends blood down to his hungry cock making it pulse. Dean kisses Cas's shoulder blades and the back of neck before he proceeds just because he can, because Cas is his now, the angel tenses at his touch but relax's. Figuring that Cas was just going to make this easy with his angel mojo and make it less painful for him he figures he can enter his lover.
"Alright, tell me if you need me to stop."
"Dean it will be highly unnecessary for me to do so. Don't worry." Dean convinced that his lover will be fine slowly pushes himself into him. He feels the warmth and tightness of being inside of Cas and moans loudly.
"Damn Cas... So tight." Cas is clutching onto the blue tie so hard that his knuckles are white but he wanted this so he was going to do it. Dean goes as far in as he can and then slowly pulls out and pushes it back in releasing load moans from both of them. Dean grips Cas's hips hard and goes in harder and he cries out Cas's name while Cas lets out and extremely loud moan. After a few more times he gets a rhythm going.
"Fuck Cas!" Dean yells, Cas is not quiet at all, which kind of shocks Dean he almost expected Cas to be the silent type but he was loud, and Dean liked it Cas lets out a loud moan and then yells Deans name back. And Dean speeds up the rhythm, making Cas gasp and catch on his breath, Cas's name slips out of Dean's mouth a few more times and starts going in harder and deeper, Cas cries out, Dean going as fast and hard as he can caught in the frenzy and he feels himself hit Cas's prostate making Cas scream out Dean's name and Dean keeps going, fast and hard. He can feel himself being close to come, but he try's to hold on longer for Cas, and keeps on going hoping that his little angel is getting exactly what he wants. And finally he comes right in Cas letting it all out feeling the orgasm waves shake over him and he slides out of Cas panting.
"Dean?" Cas says unable to see Dean since he's bound with the tie. Dean chuckles and crawls beneath Cas so that Cas is over him with Cas's legs on the outside of his in the middle of them, his hands still bound to the bed post above Dean's head.
"Right here man." Dean smiles at him.
"I like it when you smile Dean."
"I like you no matter what." Dean says back making Cas flush.
"Are you going to untie me now?"
"I might have a few things up my sleeve for it" Dean says while grinning wickedly.
"You don't have any sleeves Dean, you're naked." Cas says while tilting his head to the side while staring down at Dean. Dean just smiles not bothering to explain himself.
"Hey Cas, so you say that angels don't feel pain how can you feel pleasure?" Dean asks as the question comes to mind.
"I do feel pain Dean, just not in the same way as you and feeling pleasure, it is an option to feel it or not that most angels do not choose."
"Why wouldn't they choose it? You obviously enjoyed it tonight." Cas pauses before replying.
"It could lead them into rebellion." They sit there with Cas over him staring at him with his blue eyes. Dean ask's another question.
"Why did you choose it Cas?"
"I wouldn't have, not if it worn't for you Dean." Something stirs inside of Dean, he doesn't understand Cas's caring for him, not one bit, but he was glad that Cas did feel that way enough about him because without it Dean wouldn't be happy right now.
"I'm glad that you did..."
"I am too. Dean?"
"Yeah Cas?"
"Can you untie me? My wrists hurt."
"Oh, yeah sorry man." Dean chuckles. He reaches up and unties Cas from his bound a little disappointed he didn't get to do more with it, but there would be a lot more times to do those things. Cas slowly lowers himself onto Dean so that he's laying on top of him and places his elbows by Dean's head so that Dean's head rests on the back of his palms and kisses Dean forehead slowly and looks into the hunters eyes.
"Come here." Dean commands and pulls Cas to his chest and hugs him closely and snuggles his face into the caress between Cas's shoulder and neck and breathes in Cas's scent running his hand down Cas's back. Dean can't help but to notice how perfectly they fit together and loves the feeling of Cas being on top of him.
"Dean, are you okay?"
"Yeah, i'm fine."
"Dean."
"What?"
"You don't have to lie to me."
"It's nothing that I can't handle Cas."
"You sounded wounded when you called me."
"I know."
"Would you want me to tell you if I wasn't okay Dean?"
"Of course." Dean strokes the side of the angels face.
"And you love me?"
"Yes."
"Then trust me."
"I... I'm just not seeing the point anymore."
"The point?"
"The point of me being here. I used to think that my whole purpose was to take care of Sam. But that guy he is right now, that isn't Sam. I've lost everything. I thought that maybe i could have a chance, a new one with Lisa and Ben, but just like always things got ruined. I just can't see why i'm suppose to be doing what i'm doing when nothing good comes out of it."
"You have a purpose Dean."
"What is it then? It was suppose to be Micheal, but I refused my destiny, do you think that all of this, all of this shit with Sam, is some kind of punishment for that?"
"It's possible. I suppose. But the way I see things, we wouldn't be able to feel happiness without feeling pain, maybe you're just saving the happiness for something else. And I don't think you're pointless at all, you just don't see all of the good that you do, especially to me. You'll figure things out."
"I'm happy right now." Cas does this adorable smile that makes Deans heart flutter a little after saying that, which is something that had only really happened occasionally when he thought Sam was being a cute dork as a kid. Cas is like a bit of paradise in hell, which is kind of true, him being an angel and all. All the same Dean never wants the moment to end.
"Are you going to stay or are you going to take of?" Dean asks Cas hoping he'll stay.
"I'll stay for however long you need me to."
"So forever?" Dean says even though he was only asking if Cas would stay for the rest of the night.
"Deal." Cas says in a deep voice and then pulls Dean in for another kiss.
