And I'm a space bound rocket ship

The night was cold. For some reason, it surprised him. Like he somehow, somewhere, had forgotten what it was like to be cold, cold like this, cold because the sun wasn't there, because it had left the world in night's care. Cold because of the weather, not because of where he was currently at. Nico sighed, his eyes felt blurry and confused his sight and he tried to blink it away.

He didn't know why he was here either. The underworld was safe, it had come to be his home, and he didn't leave it unless it was really necessary. Of course, this was what happened. Surprised by the weather, the atmosphere. It was different down there, not at all like it was here. But he liked it. For some weird, reason he couldn't explain, he liked it. Like for the first time he had a real home. And it was just what he needed.

Especially after everything that had happened when he used to live here. Quietly he looked up at the apartment building, memories coming back. It looked dark and cold in the night. Just like it felt to be there.

Your heart's the moon

Sometimes when Nico tried to breathe it felt like something was trying to stop him, and it felt like a hand was around his heart, squeezing it, making it hurt. He knew it was imagination, yes because he wasn't stupid, he knew just what was wrong and it wasn't medical, but it wasn't easy to admit it, and alone in bed at night it wasn't that easy to stop the feelings from building up inside, making his intestines roar, causing him to feel sick. He didn't want to miss that other person that used to be right next to him in bed, being there every night, so close that Nico could feel his breath in his neck before he fell asleep.

It felt like it was so long ago and still, he remembered it like yesterday. Nico felt like he must be the stupidest person ever to be alive, for not being able to let go, say goodbye, leaving it in the past and look forward.

And I'm aiming right at you

He wondered if he was hurting too. Then he changed his mind. Of course he wasn't. why would he? He was the one with the perfect life, everything working out, never sticking to anything, always being able to move on. Oh the gods, Nico hated him so much for that, for not being able to hurt, because Nico wanted him to hurt so badly, like he did, like he did every single fucking night, he was hurt, and how was he? Away someplace, everything okay, he was okay, and it was just Nico who had to live with the memories. Like they were stuck with him, like he left them there and now it was Nico's burden to carry. Not his. Only Nico's.

Nico wondered what he had ever done to deserve this. And he wondered why it was on constant replay in his mind, the time they've had together.

250 thousand miles on a clear night in june

A lost dog walked past Nico and looked at him, like he was bothering the nightly walk he had going for him and Nico sighed. Of course, even ruining the night for stray animals. What always happened.

Once upon a time Nico had used to look up at this building and felt like home, like he belonged there and he had been happy. He sighed again, wondering if Percy was still there. The window and the curtains looked the same, and he remembered the first night they had been there, when Percy had pulled him closer and kissed him, and they hadn't left the bed room for three days.

Nico saw a shadow in the window, recognizing it immediately, and looked away. The hand around his heart felt even stronger, and he quietly took a few steps backwards, becoming one with the shadows of the trees, returning home, hoping that no one had seen him.

And wondering if Percy ever thought about it like he did.

I'm a space bound rocket ship

And your heart's the moon

And I'm aiming right at you, right at you

250 thousand miles on a clear night in june

And I'm so lost without you, without you

Without you