Girl's Night out
I was on my way to meet Edward for lunch when Jessica came by my locker and said "Bella do you want to come with Angela and me to the mall?" I shook my head and said "No thanks I'm not really all that into shopping." Jessica pouted and said "Come on Bella all we're going to do is look at clothes and we need you to tell us how we look and believe me you won't have to do nothing else please please." I sighed and said "Sure why not pick up at five." She started bouncing up and down and said "Thanks Bella you're the best." I gave a small laugh and said "No problem I'll see you at lunch." On my way to the cafeteria I saw Edward outside the cafeteria doors waiting for me. "Hey Edward sorry I'm late I was talking to Jessica." He smiled at me and said "It's ok Love now let's go before Alice and Jasper get impatient.
After I got my food and sat at out usual table I noticed that Alice looked sad about something. "Alice what's wrong" I asked her as I sat down. She just sighed and continued to stare at the table. "Edward what's wrong with her" I asked him worriedly. He stared at me in confusement and said "Apparently your going on some kind of shopping trip without her." I sighed and said "No I mean I'm just going with Jess and Angela tonight to help them pick things out I'm not buying anything that's for sure." Alice looked at me and said "But Bella you need new stuff please please let me go with you I'll owe you big time." I shook my head and said "Alice please we're only going to be up there only an hour or so and if you come we'll be there all night." She kept giving me the puppy look which was making me weaker and weaker. I took in a deep breathe and said "Alice how about this if you let me go with Jessica and Angela to the mall then I promise that this Saturday I'll let you take me to the mall early and we can stay there all day." After I said that I almost started to cry because I knew how awful it would be shopping with Alice for an entire Saturday. Alice looked shocked and then she said "Ok that works much better." I was about to say more, but Edward interrupted. "Bella how long are you guys going to be out anyways" he asked with worry. I shook my head and said "Don't worry Edward we'll only be gone for about an hour at least." He sighed and said "I just don't want you out after dark." I smiled and said "Don't worry I'll try not to and plus you could use the time to go hunting instead of worrying about me." Edward laughed and said "Oh ok fine if it's what you want." I just rolled my eyes and finished my lunch.
After school was over Edward dropped me off at my house so I could get ready for tonight. "Bella please try not to be home to late" Edward reminded me with a worried tone. I sighed and said "Don't worry Edward I'll be fine and if something goes wrong I'll call you." He chuckled and said "oh ok fine, but call me if you need anything at all." After he said that he gave me a quick kiss and left to go on his hunting trip. I was about to go upstairs and get ready until I heard the phone ring. "Hello" I said at first ring, "Bella it's me Jessica hey to let you know we need to leave a bite later if that's ok." I sighed and said "How much later." She sounded nervous when she said "about six." I shook my head and said "I don't know Jess I'm not sure if my father will let me out that late." I heard her pouting over the phone and then she said "Come on Bella it'll take us about 20 minutes to get there and Angela and me will probably only shop for an hour so we'll be back in forks about eight so don't worry." I smiled slightly and said "Alright Jessica but no later than eight." She screamed and said "Thanks Bella you're the best." After I hung up I hurried up and called my dad to see if it was ok with him. My dad picked up first ring "Hello chief swan here." "Dad it's me" I said impatiently. "Bella what is it is something wrong" he asked worriedly. I sighed and said "Yea everything's great I just wanted to ask if I could go out with Jessica and Angela tonight." My dad sounded surprised when he said "What isn't Edward going with you." I sighed and said "No dad he's going out with his family tonight so I figured I'll hang out with Jessica and Angela for a while." My dad laughed and said "That's good at least your hanging out with your other friends instead of Edward." "Yea" was all I could say to him without getting angry. "Bella what time will you be back" he asked with a serious tone. "About eight at least or nine at the most." My dad chuckled and said "Ok just be home before ten how's that." I smiled and said "Yea that works." After we hung up I went upstairs and went to get ready for tonight.
It was nearly 20 after 6 and I was starting to lose my patience Jessica should've been here by now with Angela. Finally I saw her pulling up into my driveway and honking as loud as she could. "What took you so long" I asked as I was getting into the back seat. "My parents got home a little late and I had to watch my stupid sister" Jessica replied gruntly. "So Bella are you sure you don't want to get anything at the mall it could be fun for you too instead of helping us" Angela said doubtfully. I shook my head and said "No it's ok I have enough stuff already and I really don't mind helping you guys out." Thankfully Angela let it dropped, but unfortunately Jessica didn't. Jessica rolled her eyes and said "Bella don't you know how to have any real fun I mean you're the only girl in the world who doesn't like shopping." I just ignored her, but I knew she was right I mean I didn't really do much besides hang out with Edward and his family. "But Jessica don't forget Bella is really good on telling others what looks good on them." I smiled at Angela for defending me and she smiled in returned.
It was nearly after 8 when we finally left the mall. "I can't believe it's after dark already" Jessica exclaimed as she was getting in the car. Angela laughed as she was getting in the back and said "Come on Jessica the way we shopped I thought it would be after midnight." Shopping with Jessica and Angela wasn't nearly as bad as shopping with Alice. "That was actually fun" I said as I got into the passenger's door. "See don't you think shopping's fun now" Jessica said as she drove from the parking lot. I laughed and said "Yea somewhat at least." Angela smiled and said "Yea, but Jessica and I got some nice stuff because of you. I just shook my head and kept laughing. For the next 10 minutes all Jessica could talk about was her date with mike and me and Angela were as optimistic as we possible could. "Hey you guys see that" Angela said in a disgusting tone. "What" both me and Jessica said at the same time. Angela gave a disgusting look and said "Look at that trucker's bumper sticker read it." I looked closely and said "Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn't like to own one." Jessica gasped and said "How sick." "Yea I hate men like him who think women are nothing but their property" Angela said. I nodded in agreement and said "Yea men like him are nothing but pigs." Jessica nodded and said "You know what I'm pulling up." When we got to his window we noticed that he was the one who looked like the elephant. "HEY YOU SAY WOMEN ARE ELEPHANTS LOOK AT YOU YOU HOG" Jessica screamed. "Jessica" I said afraid of getting in trouble. "HEY WHY DON'T YOU STOP HIDING YOUR WEIGHT WITH THOSE LARGE SHIRTS OF YOURS" the guy screamed back. "GO SCREW AN ELEPHANT" I yelled from the passenger's window. "Alright Bella" Jessica said laughing. The guy started shouting again "HEY YOU IN THE PASSENGER'S SEAT LET ME SEE YOUR BOOBS." We continued to laugh at him and then Angela screamed "YOU CRAZY ASSHOLE." The guy screamed right back "DON'T YOU HOOKERS HAVE ANY WHERE ELSE TO BE." I decided to scream at him "SHUT THE FUCK UP AT LEAST WE CAN GET SOMEONE IN BED WITH US YOU BASTARD YOU PROBABLY COULDN'T EVEN GET A MAN IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU." We all just continued to laugh at what we were doing to him. "WOMEN RULE" Angela screamed out of the back window. "YEA" Jessica and I screamed together. "YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I THINK IS FUNNY-AGGGGGGGGGGG." We looked back and saw that he crashed into a telephone pole. "Oh my god" I said feeling horrible now. "What do we do" Angela asked Jessica. Jessica shook her head and said "Let's get out of here." I shook my head and said "What, but what if he's hurt." Jessica took in a deep breathe and said "He shouldn't be the crash wasn't too bad so don't worry. Before I could say anymore I heard my phone ringing. "H-Hello" I said as soon as I picked up. "Bella are you alright you sound frightened." I shook my head and said "No Edward the phone just startled me a little so what do you need." I heard him chuckling and said "I just wanted to know when your coming home because I just got back myself." I took in a deep breathe and said "I'm on my way home right now." "Um Bella" Edward said shyly on the phone. "Yea what is it." I heard him laughing and said "Well since it's Friday Alice talked to your father and convinced him to let you stay over." I sighed and said "Ok I'll have Jessica drop me off at your place sorry I got to go Edward bye." I looked back and saw Angela freaking out over what happened. "Jessica he's probably going to call the cops on us" Angela said worriedly. Jessica shook her head and said "Well they don't know where we live so we'll be fine." After that we went into total silence for a while. "Jessica can you drop me off at Edward's house" I asked breaking the silence. Jessica gulped and said "Sure but you'll have to show me the way." I layed my head back and closed my eyes. I opened them when I heard sirens coming our way. "No way that was fast" Jessica said in amazement as she was pulling over. "What do we do" Angela ask. Before Angela asked the officers were already at the driver's window. "Can I help you officers" Jessica said politely. The one officer coughed and said "Yea we got a report that a car that fits this description was involved in a incident with a trucker and that the passenger's of the vehicle were making rude gestures to the driver causing him to lose control of the vehicle and crash into a telephone pole." Jessica was really nervous and said "I don't know sir I mean me and my friends were just out for a drive." The officer shook his head and said "Look no one got hurt, so we won't charge you, but you girls better get straight home immediately. "Yes officer" Jessica said.
By the time I got to Edward's I was so exhausted I wasn't sure how long I was able to stand on my own. I saw Edward at the door waiting for me. "Love I thought you weren't going to be out too late" Edward said teasingly. I smiled and said "Sorry about that, but all I want to do now is go to sleep it's been a long night." When I entered his living room I noticed everyone was waiting for me. "Hey B-Bella" Emmett said almost about to laugh. "What" I asked Edward when I saw him grinning. Alice came up to me and said "See what happens when you don't take me shopping with you Bella." I then realized what she meant "So you had a vision about the incident on the road." Alice nodded and said "Yea just a bite ago when you were in the mall." Edward turned me towards him and said "Bella love why would you do something like that." I shrugged and said "I don't know when Jessica started screaming at him I just kind of joined in." Edward continued grinning and then I saw Emmett booming with laughter. "I'm sorry, but I never would've thought you would do something like this." The rest of the family was laughing as well even Rosalie. "Edward I want to go to bed now." I saw Alice nodding in agreement and said "Yea she's going to need sleep for tomorrow." "Tomorrow" I repeated unsure of what she meant. She smiled and said "Yea you said this afternoon that if I let you go shopping with Jessica and Angela then you would spend an entire Saturday shopping with me." I groaned and Edward took me into his chest. "I forgot" I admitted, but Alice just laughed and said "Well there's no backing out I'll see you at six A.M.."
When she left Edward took me upstairs and layed me on the bed. "Are you mad at me" I asked Edward curiously. He chuckled and said "Of coarse I'm not mad just surprised that you would do something like this." I even laughed and said "Yea me too, but it was fun besides him crashing into a telephone pole." Edward grinned and said "Yes, but now you need to sleep you have quite a day tomorrow." He gave me a kiss and started singing my lullaby. Soon I started drifting off to sleep and I was very happy to know that no matter what I do Edward will never be Mad at me.
Author's Note
Well there it is and I hoped you all liked it. I'm not sure if it was that funny, but I think I was able to manage I hope. This was based off of an episode of Roseanne which made me laugh so hard. I'm thinking of doing another one shot of Bella on the Jerry Springer show. Well please review and tell me what you think of it I'll really appreciate it.
