My Sammuraimmortal
I AM SANADA GENJIROU YUKIMURA.
I AM INDEBTED TO MY OYAAAKATAAASAMMAAAAA!one BECAUSE HE IS THE TIGER OF TAKEDA.
ALSO HE IS REALLY HOT.
I MEAN REALLY. LOOK AT THOSE MUSCLES. THEY ARE BURSTING WITH TESTOSTERONE, NO LIES.
It was a warm day in that samurai place that I live, Takeda, but not without a breeze de gozaru.
I walked down the street, MY AURA BURNING PASSIONATELY LIKE JUST SO MANY SUNS MOEEERUUUU!
"Yukimura."
I turn to see my retainer, Sarutobi Sasuke, standing before me.
"I have failed you," he says, glistening man-tears in his eyes, prostrating himself at my feet. "The dango cart...was empty!" He stifles a sob into his armor.
"NO FEAR," I reply with all the manliness I could muster, "FOR I AM SANADA GENJIROU YUKIMURA, AND I CAN FIND DANGO USING ONLY MY NOSE AND THE PINKY FINGER ON MY LEFT HAND."
Thus, we depart, on an EPIC JOURNEY TO GET SWEETS BECAUSE I LOVE SWEETS THEY ARE SO VERY DELICIOUS. I AM YUKIMURA.
"YUUKIIMURAA!"
I turn to see my eternal foe/ally/lover, Date Masamune, standing in the path.
"WE MUST FIGHT NOW LIKE MEN, PASSIONATELY!" he shouted sexily. Because he is sexy. And manly.
"YES! LET US FIGHT! OUR SOULS WILL BURN LIKE FIRE AND THEN FUSE!" I shout back in my most manly voice as it cracks with fanboy love.
"UWAHHHH LET US PARTY!" Date screams sexily as he stabs at me with his six apparati (is that the plural of apparatus? WHO CARES, I'M SANADA FUCKING GENJIROU YUKIMURA) in a very sexy manner.
He bursts into fire, a fire which is blue, and also sexy. I, too, burst into a less sexy but OH SO HOT BURNING RED INFERNO UWOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!
I can see Sasuke facepalming in the corner of my eye as I fight SO FUCKING PASSIONATELY. But because I am Sanada Genjirou Yukimura, I do not understand what a facepalm is. Or why. Who am I? I'm Sanada Genjirou Yukimura.
Date sexily wins eventually BUT ONLY BY A LITTLE BIT BECAUSE I AM COOL AND TOTALLY LET HIM WIN IF MY SOUL WAS BURNING A LITTLE BRIGHTER I TOTALLY WOULD HAVE WON TOTALLY. Because I am manly. I didn't want to hurt his pride. I was also distracted by his seventh sword.
Date stands over me sexily grinning, and then we do you-know-what and my ass hurts. It was erotic.
CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 2
