They always tell me they're not real, but I know different.
They only appear too me because they know I can see them.
They start in a small of the corner of a room, beckoning for me to come closer, to reach out and touch them. Then they grow, twist and contort in front of me, their hands like black tendrils reaching for me, grabbing and clawing at me, trying to draw me in, to take me away from here.
I don't know where they'll take me but right now I don't want too, I know I have to stay here and keep them safe. All of them, until I can find a way out.
So I've been ignoring them, I try my best to avoid looking in the corners of each room. I try my best to avoid the shadows because they might reach out and pull me in. They're angry with me, I know it, I can feel It when the nurses turn the lights out. They keep whispering my name from the darkness, calling out too me.
But I ignore them, still.
I have bigger issues, if I can get out of here I can leave them behind. I can leave it all behind. The shadows, the nurses, the meds, the feeling of being trapped in own mind.
But I have to take my friend with me, they don't see the shadows, but the shadows can see him and they want him as much they want me, I have to save him too.
The thing that bothers me most about this place are the sessions, we have two every few days.
The first for me is with Zayn, he doesn't like us calling him Doctor. He wants us to feel safe around him, he likes us too know we can tell him anything, I tell him as much as I can. I always leave out my plans to get out of here with my friends, I rarely bring up Liam up. If he knows that I care about him, he might take him away from me and I can't lose another friend.
"Harry, Are you okay?" He asks me and tilts his head looking at me with concerned filled eyes. At least that's what he wanted me to believe.
"Yes, I'm fine." I reply courtly, I didn't care for Zayn much. Yes, I trust him but I wasn't stupid enough to believe that he liked me. If he did he wouldn't have taken my best friend from me.
"So, How has your day been so far?" He asks me, this is all he ever does. Ask me questions, try to get into my head. He never gets far.
"Good." I mutter and purposely look away from him, I don't like making eye contact. My Mum always said you can tell a lot about how someone truly feels from the look in their eyes, I don't like people knowing to much about how I feel, I like to keep my emotions hidden.
"Is there anything you want too tell me? He asks and pushes his glasses up from the tip of his nose. He should really get those tightened, they're obviously too big for him. I don't tell him this though. He's supposed to be the smart Doctor, I'm the patient in the room.
"Like what?" I ask coldly and move my eye back too him, he flinches a little, the movement was only so slight that others wouldn't have noticed, but I knew what to look for by now. It was a talent of mine, I like too study people, too become accustomed to the every movement. They're much easier to read this way.
"Anything. What do you plan on doing for the rest of the day?" He says after scribbling a few notes down into my folder.
"Well, why don't you tell me? You know exactly what out routine is." I snap, and keep my eyes on him, I know he wont hold my gaze long enough for him too gain any information from it., he's not afraid of me but he's clever enough to know I wont react very well if he does.
Just then the timer begins to ring filling the room with a high pitched ringing noise signalling the end of my session for today.
"I'm leaving." I state simply and turn too see Olly holding the door open for me.
Olly, is what I like too think of as the security around here, he walks us too and from Zayns office and keeps a close eye on everyone.
When I finally make it back to the hall, I look around and count the number of patients in the room, I stop suddenly as I clock an unfamiliar face. Theres a new kid huddled at a table at the back of the room. He looks terrified as his eyes move frantically around the room. Ilet out a loud sigh, I don't really like new kids, it meant I had more work too do. I'd have to study them until I knew who they were, how they reacted to certain things. If I was going to be safe in this place, I just had too know these things. I sit at my usual table in the centre of the room.
When I look up Liam is already sitting in the seat across from me. A smile etched onto his face, he was looking happy today.
"What are you smiling at?" I ask and lean back in my seat.
"Have you seen the new kid yet?" He gushes and ignores my question drumming his fingers loudly against the table.
"Yes." I say
"He seems normal, for now. Scared, but normal." Liam smiles and runs a hand through his hair tugging on it a bit too hard.
"Indeed." I reply, it's a true enough statement at present.
"Well, aren't you going too talk to him?" Liam asks me and draws a circle in the centre of the piece of paper he has in front if him.
"Soon. Why don't you talk to him first?" I reply and take a sip of the water in front of me, it's in the same white foam cup as always, apparently we can't be trusted with anything else.
"He wont like me, No one likes me. We both know that. " Liam replies and begins to scribble around the circle.
"He could do, you never try and talk to anyone else so how would you know?" I say and carefully place my cup down.
"I'm fine with just talking too you." he replies and smiles at me before picking up his drawing and walking away.
I let out another frustrated sigh, jump to my feet and walk towards the table the new boy is sitting at. At first he doesn't notice me, he's stopped looking around the room and instead is fixated on the peeling paint on the wall next too him.
"You know, you shouldn't sit in the corner of the room." I tell him. His head snaps up and his eyes lock with mine, I drop my gaze to the floor.
"Why?" He asks, he doesn't sound afraid, but I can tell he is. His hands are clutching the chair so tightly that the skin stretched over his knuckles is white and his eyes are roaming the room anxiously.
"Because.." I begin, I shouldn't tell him directly "It's the darkest place in any room."
"So?"
Before I can stop myself a small laugh escapes my lips, so he can't see them either. He has no idea.
I lower myself into the seat next to him, he's looking at me again with wide blue eyes.
"It's nothing." I say and turn to him, bowing my head slightly in a nod "I'm Harry."
"My names Louis" he tells me before shifting awkwardly in his seat.
"So, What brings you here?" I don't see the point in waiting around and being polite, if he's here he's just as fucked up as everyone else in this room.
"I…I can't remember." He says and his voice sounds strained.
I wasn't entirely sure if he was lying or not, but he was shifting uncomfortably in his seat and his expression has changed, he almost looks angry.
I sigh and sit forward in my chair, clasping my hands together unsure of what to say next. I hate feeling uneasy around people, I need to know things about them to feel safe.
"Liam doesn't remember much either." I mutter, it's better I tell him about Liam's story than mine. Liam's much more interesting than me. I don't like people knowing me, so I tell them about my friends.
"Who's Liam?" He says and plays with a lose thread on his trousers.
"He's my friend." I reply.
"Oh, do you have a lot of friends in here?"
"Not really, I know everyone but I would only really call Liam my friend." I say and keep my eyes forward,. Louis likes to smile quite a bit, I notice. He's quite happy considering we're sitting in a mental institution. Does he know that's where he is? I think so, he doesn't seem stupid, he seems quite smart.
"Cool, So who should I stay away from?"He is smart. He's asking all the right questions.
"Mostly everyone. They're all screwed up in one way or another." I mutter.
"Really? They can't all be that bad…"He's gone back to scanning the room.
"They're not. They're just not safe." I say and begin top tap my foot on the floor in some sort of rhythm.
"Ah, right." Louis says quietly and I can feel his eyes on me again, I don't like how perceptive he is, I stop tapping my foot and smile at him trying to through him off. I don't want him too know that he's making me feel uneasy.
"So, Where's Liam now?" He questions and I look around.
"He must be at Zayns office, he wont be long. We have our group talk in a few minutes."
"Group talk?"
"Yeah, it's stupid. We talk about our day and how happy we're supposed too be." I sigh.
Louis doesn't talk for a few seconds, I glance at him out of the corner of my eye and I can see he's choosing his words carefully.
"And you're not happy?" He says, I can see he's worried, his eyebrows are knitted together and his lips are pursed. He is stuck here after all.
"Honestly? No. I'm not." I don't know why I'm telling his this, I don't talk to anyone about how I feel not even Liam.
"Why not?" He asks me quietly.
I shrug one shoulder in reply, I shouldn't tell him anymore than he needs too know.
I hear chairs being pushed back and look up to see the room emptying, it must be "Talk Time.".
"Harry. Louis. Come on." Olly calls from the other side of the room.
I stand up and look at Louis, he doesn't look as worried as he was ten minutes ago, but he still seems nervous.
"Come on, stay with me. I'll show you around."
"'Kay." He replies and smiles, again.
I push my chair in and walk towards the door.
Stupid, why are you letting him be your friend? It's not safe for him.
Is all I can think as we talk towards the hall.
A little darker and weirder than most 1D fics i know.
I just got bored of all the usual fangirl fics so i thought maybe some other people might have too. :) R&R
