(A/N: This takes place in the episode Pain in the Rear Window, so don't get mad at me because I made an alternate ending! OK, later, friends!)
"Hey! There's no Arturo Vitali pumps in here! All I see is a football signed by Tony Romo!" Emma exclaimed from inside the dumpster. "DIBS!" Jessie shouted as she willingly jumped inside. Emma laughed. "I can't believe I fell for that!" Jessie exclaimed as Emma continued laughing.
Meanwhile, Bertram was just walking by the trashcan that Emma tossed her phone in as it rang. Instinctively, Bertram picked it up. Poor Luke believed it was his foster sister, Emma! "Emma, Bertram's headed your way! He must know we saw him commit that crime!" Luke shouted into the phone. "Luke...Is that you?" Bertram asked in a heartstopping voice. 'Oh, my God! That has to be the most heartstopping voice Bertram has ever used!' Luke thought. So he tried to improvise. "No, it is Ravi," Luke exclaimed, putting on his best Hindu accent. "My best friend is a giant lizard! Yippee!" Luke added as he hung up his cell. As he took a glance through his binoculars, he found that Bertram was staring back. "Oh, no...I'm doomed!" Luke whispered, too horrified to scream.
Back at the dumpster, Jessie climbed out with a banana peel and Emma came out without even a scrap of evidence that she was rummaging through a dumpster for a body bag. "Emma, how are you not dirty?" Jessie asked in awe. "I dunno. Things just kind of work out for me," Emma replied. Jessie sighed before reassuring, "OK, I told you, there's nothing in this dumpster besides my dignity!" "But I KNOW I saw Bertram dump a bag in here!" Emma pushed. "Then why didn't we find it?" Jessie asked, her nanny side ready to burst. Emma turned to a dumpster next to the one they just searched through. "Maybe because he threw it in THAT dumpster!" Emma replied. "You mean the one with the large bag sticking out?!" Jessie exclaimed. "Yeah...yeah, that's the one," Emma replied nervously. The duo began inspecting the bag. "Uh, that bag DOES look disturbingly body-shaped. We should call the police!" Jessie said. "Um, hello! THAT WAS THE POLICE!" Emma screamed. "OK, we're being ridiculous! After all, Bertram is waaay too lazy to murder anyone!" Jessie replied. "There's only one way to found out. Open it," Emma ordered as Jessie reluctantly stared at the bag. When Emma opened it, they both screamed. A skeleton was in there, and had a police uniform on! "Oh...my...gosh! You were right, Emma!" Jessie exclaimed. "I told you!" Emma exclaimed as she saw Bertram headed towards their home building. "Oh, no! Luke's next! Come on! We gotta save him!" Emma exclaimed, grabbing Jessie's arm and running as fast as she could toward their apartment. As they did, Officer Petey came out from behind a tree, looking triumphant. "I finally brought that squirrel to justice!"
"Open! Open! Open! Open!" Luke shouted, hitting the elevator button. But as soon as it opened and he saw Bertram, he screamed loud and shouted, "Close! Close! Close! Close!" Luke shouted. "Get back here, Luke!" "NOOOOOOOOO! You'll never get me!" Luke shouted in reply. "We need to talk!" Bertram exclaimed. "Stay away from me!" Luke exclaimed as he tried to pull himself up the stairs. "What are you doing?" Bertram asked. "Right now, wishing I had done more pull-ups in P.E!" Luke replied, pulling out his cell phone, snapping pictures. "AH! Quit it!" Bertram exclaimed. "I saw what you did! You're a monster!" Luke exclaimed. "Relax, it's not that big of a deal! AH! And I hate having my picture taken!" Bertram said, trying to stop the montage of flashing. "You'll NEVER get away with it!" Luke shouted. "Oh, I will, because I have something here that's gonna shut you up," Bertram said terrifyingly, reaching into his coat pocket for something unknown. As he did, Jessie and Emma came inside the apartment. "Stop right there, murderer!" Jessie exclaimed. Bertram pulled out a gun, pointed it at the three of them, and pulled the trigger. But instead of bullets coming out, permanent ink came out. "No! This was one of my every day outfits when I'm not playing as Kitty Couture," Emma exclaimed. "Bertram, you are sooooo lucky that I was planning on tossing this shirt!" Jessie exclaimed. "I can't believe I'm saying, but that was annoying!" Luke exclaimed. "What are you talking about a murder for?" Bertram asked. "You burnt Petey's body and put it in a body bag in the dumpster!" Emma exclaimed. Before Bertram could give his explanation, the elevator doors opened and Petey stepped through. "Whoa, looks like Halloween hit 6 months early in here, especially with the permanent ink gun," Petey commented. "What?!" Jessie exclaimed. "The?!" Emma shouted. "Heck?!" Luke said angrily. "I just did that to be mean to you. Besides I was only sabotaging your ring toss game. You'll never know where I put the original bottles," Bertram exclaimed, an evil grin on his face. "You're mean!" Jessie and Emma exclaimed. "Yet I know just the way to get revenge," Luke said.
And that brings to today, when Bertram plays the guy that is dunked. "I gotta hand it to ya, Luke, this is great revenge!" Jessie commented as she and the Ross kids laughed.
