"Kyouko," started Ren. "I really don't think this is the best idea."
The two of them were currently hiding behind a corner in front of Deimon High School's entrance. Kyouko was crouched down and scanning for a certain someone. Ren was just there to make sure she didn't get in too much trouble.
The girl in question shushed him.
"Nonsense!" she whispered fiercely. "Besides, do you want him to hear us?"
Ren held up his hands in surrender, an amused smile gracing his handsome features.
"Who is this person you've been so infatuated with?" he asked curiously, with more than a hint of hidden jealousy.
Kyouko sighed dreamily, "Well, I don't actually know his name, but-"
"You've been stalking the boy for a month now, and you don't even know his name?" Ren said incredulously.
The black-haired girl scowled briefly, no doubt about to tell him off, only to widen her eyes to the size of saucers.
"It's him!" Kyouko grasped Ren's arm tightly, like they were about to see a rock star and not a high school student. "It's really him!"
Ren followed her excited gaze to a lanky blond sauntering toward the entrance.
"The prince of the elves!" she cried dramatically, half way to the fairy kingdom already. "Oh, he must be on good terms with Corn too! Prince of fairies, prince of elves - they're probably the best of friends!"
Ren felt slightly insulted at the insinuation that the boy and he were anything alike. Oh sure, Ren could see where Kyoko's delusions had come from. The object of her current adoration had, how would she put it, golden strands of silky hair, enchanting eyes of emerald, porcelain skin, and this was the clincher - pointed ears. Unfortunately, Kyoko was completely blind to the high-schooler's other features.
Mainly, the seven firearms he was toting with disturbing ease (how was he carrying them all, anyway?). The maniacal laugh and wickedly sharp teeth were probably good warning signs. Also, the "elf" had just shot a round of, dear god, bullets (hopefully rubber) into the air.
"Ya ha!" he screamed. "The Deimon Devil Bats are now RECRUITING!"
Ren was well aware of the shrieks of terror coming from the surrounding students.
"Oh my god, it's Hiruma!"
"AUGHHAKDJGKAHHGFKLKLA!"
One girl started praying profusely. Another student was rocking himself back and forth.
However, Kyouko probably noticed nothing of the pandemonium going on around her. The girl was blissfully selective in the sights she wanted to see that way. Ren would have to convince her in simple terms.
"Kyouko, he's carrying a gun," Ren said slowly, as if speaking to a particularly dim toddler. "No, he's carrying seven guns."
As expected, she completely ignored him. Ren sighed and resigned himself to another month stalking this "Hiruma." He only hoped he'd come out of it relatively unscathed, hopefully without bullet wounds or permanent psychological damage.
Author's Note. This was...pure crack. I have no excuse.
Review anyway?
